I wrote this to ease myself into the writing process after having a bit of a break from fanfiction. This is part 1 of 2. Enjoy!
Coffee
It was the worst Cappuccino she'd ever tasted – and being her, she told them so. Her braid almost whacked her in the face as she twirled around on the sidewalk. Several people around her shot her grumpy glares as they stumbled to move past her as she marched in the opposite direction of the flow of people. She grimaced at the overly bitter coffee and sour-tasting milk that lingered on her lips.
The coffee she ordered was a Pumpkin Spice and Cinnamon Cream Cappuccino. She usually got a bog-standard coffee with extra milk to keep her awake until lunchtime, but the specials board on the wall above the blonde guy at the cash register had caught her eye. Usually the chalk board was plain, written in white chalk with realistic drawings of coffee cups and sugar cubes and cupcakes and cookies surrounding the text. Mellarks started out as a bakery, selling bread, pastries and other baked treats.
They branched out into selling drinks about two years ago, and the quickly become so popular that they bought the adjoining building next door after the previous owner went into retirement. It's been renovated into a small café area. There are a good thirty booth-style tables to sit at, and it's almost always busy.
Katniss has never actually stayed at Mellarks to drink coffee and eat what she's sure will be a golden, sugary pastry in peace. She's always been too busy or too skint. Really, she's too busy right now to turn around and storm back into the shop and demand that something be done about the god-awful coffee. Haymitch specifically requested that she be at his desk with a full report on the local forestry protection program at 9a.m. sharp. It's currently 20 to 9. She should be running for the subway. Katniss pushes the door open instead.
All her annoyance, however, lessens as she takes in the line of people queuing up at the counter. Mellarks is seen as a trendier place to go instead of Starbucks, but truthfully, this place is of a better quality than Starbucks and that's what makes it so appealing. Two minutes ago when Katniss first came into the cafe, it was near enough empty. She'd arrived in the middle of one of the rare and fleeting moments when there was a reprieve in customers.
If it was like that now she would have no problem with stalking up to the cashier and asking for a new drink. But now, with twenty or so people there to witness her outburst, she can't.
Biting her lip, she joins the back of the line and waits. The massive clock on the wall by the specials board looms down over her, reminding Katniss of her deadline set by Haymitch.
'I'll buy the old man a coffee for him to hide his liquor in,' she decides, sneering at two twelve-year-olds that walk past with 'Mrs Bieber' and 'Miss Harry Styles written on their cups.
The line moves firmly quickly, the guy at the counter moving swiftly and efficiently, collecting orders in practiced, fluid motions. She repeats her argument on why she should get a new coffee in her head, chanting the words over and over until she reaches the counter.
"Good Morning, how can I help you?"
She looks up, and her mouth falls open. Her rehearsed script vanishes, along with her brain's ability to function properly. This guy isn't the one who served her. Sure, he has the same blue eyes, blonde hair, broad shoulders and chiselled Adonis look about him, but this guy is... different.
He must be about her age. The blue cotton shirt he wears has a light dusting of flour on it, and his golden hair is gently tousled, as if he's literally just rolled out of bed. His eyes are bright and friendly, and the smile on his lips rises higher on the left that on the right, revealing a crater-like dimple in the middle of his smooth cheek.
His biceps bulge almost comically - she'd laugh if she wasn't so shocked - as he leans forward on the counter, a gesture that would seem aggressive if it weren't for the sheer happiness that radiates off this guy. In fact, she finds herself wanting to lean closer.
This is not the guy that served her five minutes ago.
Her eyes make their way up to the name tag pinned just above his heart. Peeta.
"Peeta," she murmurs, testing the word out.
"Uh, hi? How can I help?" Peeta repeats his question, smiling patiently at Katniss.
"Sorry," she whispers, dragging her gaze upwards to his face. Her cheeks burn a red she's sure looks ridiculous.
She just stood there, checking this guy out.
"Take all the time you need." Peeta nods his head, his lips parting in a cheeky grin to reveal a set of pearly white teeth. Katniss shifts nervously. She can't help but read into the double-meaning of his words.
"I, err, came in here a minute ago. This coffee is... disgusting," she spits it out eventually, and backpacks hastily at Peeta's surprised reaction to her harsh words. "No, sorry, I meant that this wasn't exactly what I ordered," she mumbles.
Shit.
She's got a shitty coffee, an undoubtedly crabby colleague to get to, and now she's drooling over some guy she's literally just met and making a complete and utter fool of herself.
Good going, Katniss.
"No, please don't apologise," Peeta yanks Katniss out of her head with a sharp tug, and Katniss blinks at how genuinely sorry he sounds. "Would you like a refund? Or how about a new drink and a free one on the house?"
"The second option would be appreciated," Katniss tells him with a wry smile.
"Let me get you a fresh cup then," Peeta says, reaching his hand out for the cup in her hand. Dumbfounded, Katniss hands it over, electricity shooting through her arm when his fingers brush hers. He doesn't seem to notice, turning and tossing the cup away and reaching for a new one. "What's your order then?"
"Oh. The Pumpkin and Cinnamon Cappuccino from the special board, with extra milk and foam." Katniss says. Peeta's happy-go-lucky attitude confuses her. How can anyone possibly be that optimistic?
She wonders if it's just her usually cynical attitude to life that's making her think this way. People can be happy, she thinks to herself. Just because you're sad and messed up most of the time, it doesn't mean that everyone else has to be- why should they be sad just because you are? Katniss blinks, struggling to come to terms with her own conscience yelling at her.
"Miss?"
"Yes?" Katniss looks up. Peeta chuckles.
"Don' take it the wrong way, but you seem a little… out of it today," he laughs. Katniss blushes. What the hell is wrong with her?
"I guess I really- uh, need this coffee," she says, cringing at the sound of her voice as it breaks at the end.
"Apparently so."
"Yeah…"
"And for the second cup?"
"A regular coffee with two extra shots and double the sugar." Haymitch is a mess even with a full night's sleep. Katniss can't imagine how pissed he's gonna be when she finally gets to work. A high-caffeine, high-sugar drink might just calm him.
"That's one hell of a drink." Peeta chuckles from the machine he's using. Katniss stares at his ass. Those jeans are a great fit.
"Haymitch needs a hell of a drink," Katniss grimaces. Peeta chuckles again. Katniss smiles.
"Haymitch your boyfriend?"
"Definitely not!" Katniss snorts. "He's my boss."
"You work at Twelve Press?"
"Yeah," Katniss frowns. Peeta turns and hands her Haymitch's drink before moving back to the machine to start on hers. "How'd you know that?"
"I read that magazine on my way to work every Wednesday. Are you Katniss Everdeen?"
"I am. You've seen my pieces?"
"They're the best part of the magazine, to be honest. I like your reporting style." Peeta flashes her a sheepish smile over his shoulder. Katniss tries to suppress her own.
"Can you flirt later?" A voice sounds out behind her and she whirls round to scowl at the smartly-dressed business-man behind her.
"No. Some of us have got to get to work," she says, arching an eyebrow. They man sneers and looks away. Katniss turns and find Peeta watching her.
"Keep your claws in," he says, sliding her cup over the counter. She rolls her eyes. "Sorry about the first drink. I hope these make up for it." Peeta smiles. Katniss nods and takes the drinks.
"Thanks."
"See you around," Peeta calls to her as she steps away. She doesn't miss the grin on his face that takes on an almost sly edge. "Sorry about the wait." Katniss hears him tell the business-man as she exits the shop.
"About damn fucking time, sweetheart!" Haymitch grouches as Katniss flies into his office, muttering her apologies.
"I got caught up at Mellarks but I ended up with a refund and a free drink for you, so stop complaining or I'll give it to Johanna." Katniss says. Haymitch rolls his eyes and swipes a cup from Katniss' hand.
"Have you got that report yet?" he continues, placing the coffee on his desk.
"Thanks for the coffee, Katniss," she ignores him.
"I need that report." Haymitch presses. Katniss turns, deliberately leaving the door open as she exits out into the field room.
Each reporter has his or her own cubical, most of which are decorated with stacks of paper, cut-outs of successful articles, and post-it notes. Katniss slides into her seat with a heavy sigh, kicking off her shoes.
"Christ, brainless. Are you trying to give Haymitch an aneurysm?" Johanna Mason snorts, spinning around in her chair to face her friend.
"If I were trying he'd be in hospital a long time ago." Katniss retorts.
"I found some pictures that you can put in you report," Johanna says, searching for the right folder among the stack of them by her computer. "Most of them are recent, within the last year or so, but I think you should head out and get some more photos of the reservation."
"Thanks," Katniss says, taking the folder and flicking through it briefly before putting it aside to take a sip of her coffee. The cup is barely an inch from her mouth when Haymitch shouts her name from the doorway of his office, drawing not only the attention of the entire field room, but the entire street.
"Now I know why you took so long to get your sorry ass here!" he smirks, waving a slip of paper in the air. "You were getting the number off some guy!"
Katniss blinks before a blush floods over her.
"W-what?" she asks. Johanna punches her arm and laughs. She can feel fifty plus pairs of eyes staring at her.
"Oh, I'm sorry, didn't you realise?" Haymitch asks. Katniss stands and hobbles towards him, drink in hand. "This is your coffee, and some deluded guy's number, apparently." She swipes the correct cup and slip of paper from her boss and hands him the right drink, practically running back to her booth.
"Don't be upset that you can't get anyone's number anymore, old man," she finally snaps. Haymitch pulls a face and disappears back into his office. Several of her co-workers chuckle. Johanna rolls over in her chair and raises her eyebrows.
"Katniss…" she begins.
"I didn't know."
"Tell me everything."
"I honestly didn't know," Katniss whispers, staring at the number written on the scrap of paper. "He must have hid it the sleeve of the cup."
"Was he hot? Did he have big feet?" Johanna says, her eyes wide.
"Jo!" Katniss admonishes. Johanna shrugs, running her hand through her spiky hair. "I wasn't looking at his shoes!"
"Ah, I see. Looking directly at his package were you?"
"No!" Katniss says, her voice high-pitched. "I wasn't! He was charming, and made me a fresh coffee."
"Katniss-"
"Okay, I looked at his ass."
"Bingo! I knew you wouldn't be able to resist looking at something. Now tell me everything about him."
"He's called Peeta-" Katniss starts.
"Peeta?" Jo interrupts.
"Would you let me finish? Jesus," Katniss says. Johanna moves her hands in a circular motion, encouraging Katniss to talk. "And he's got this beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes and a chiselled jaw… his smile is cute. He has a dimple."
"A lonesome dimple?"
"Yes."
"Ace… I want me some blonde boy action. Gimme his number." Johanna reaches out a slender hand to grab the paper. Katniss pulls it out of her reach and takes sip of her coffee.
"I thought you were with Thom."
"I am, but we're not together."
"Friends with benefits?"
"Heck, we aren't even friends." Johanna rolls her eyes, reclining back in her seat. Katniss pushes her friend's chair back with her foot and faces her computer, staring at the number in her hands.
She's never received anyone's number before.
When all her peers were getting mobile phones, she was losing her parents. She never had the time for mobiles and boyfriends and being a normal teenager. She was too busy fighting for her sister. And now, after all this time of god-awful dates with obnoxious guys, she's found herself struggling to find the positive side in many guys.
On nights out with the girls (things she forces herself to do at least once every two weeks, lest she end up alone in her apartment every evening, with nothing but a ready meal and a movie to keep her company) she'll freeze up whenever a guy hits on her.
Johanna, Madge and Annie always encourage her to take a chance with some guy from whatever bar they're visiting. 'And if you don't want a relationship with the guy, at least get laid.' Jo had told her. Annie and Madge backed her up with sincere nods, much to Katniss' chagrin. But she's never been able to go through with one night stands, despite how drunk she was or how confident she was feeling.
And then she would see the look of disappointment on the face of whichever guy was trying to fuck her, followed by either anger or disgust. Some of the many names she'd been called as they stormed out of her apartment or she scurried out of his included such stunners as 'fucking bitch', and 'frigid whore'. Of course, all of these did nothing to help her with her confidence.
She was perfectly fine with her friends – she could be loud if she wanted to – but most of the time she preferred a night in on the couch or a seat in the darkest corner of the club.
Peeta's sly number-dropping move has thrown her into a spin and she doesn't know what to do. She slips the scrap into the pocket of her jeans and decides to immerse herself in her work instead. The coffee is amazing - a perfect mix of cinnamon, cream, and she tastes a slight tang of something else, though she isn't sure what it is – and Katniss is glad that she isn't stuck with some digusting coffee.
As she reaches for the folder Jo handed her, Katniss realises that if it weren't for the guy who made her a crappy coffee in the first place, she never would've met Peeta. He must be interested in her at least a little if he gave her his number. Her heart skips a beat as she sorts through the photos of the reservation just outside of town. 'Maybe something good will come from this,' she thinks to herself.
A week passes. Katniss doesn't have time to get coffee in the morning, resorting to cranking out the old coffee machine she hauled with her to her apartment when she moved there. It's an ancient thing, crusted with old coffee beans, and it takes a huge amount of elbow grease (elbow grease she doesn't possess in the morning) to get the thing started. After spending the evening scrubbing it clean, she makes a fresh cup of coffee the next morning to drink with her meagre breakfast.
It doesn't taste the same. It's bland and boring and void of life – unlike the coffee Peeta made her. That was hearty and hot and filled her head of memories of her father. Back in the day, when Mr Everdeen would take his eldest daughter out into the forests surrounding their home, he would bring a flask of hot soup for her, and a flask of coffee for himself. She loved the smell of it - though didn't acquire the taste for it until many years later – the earthy tones, the fruity tangs, the nutty threads emanating from the simple brown drink enticing her.
And she's never found anyone who can make a coffee anything like the ones her father had.
Until Peeta came along.
The boring drink she usually buys from Mellarks is better than any others, but she didn't realise how many different delicious combinations there were being served in that bakery. She wonders if the person who made the coffee had anything to do with how amazing it tasted.
She refuses to go back to Mellarks however, and forces herself to walk past quickly and quietly as to not draw attention herself. On Wednesday morning she's squished up against a tall, thin girl wearing a purple beanie and drinking something from Mellarks. The aroma of her drink makes Katniss' stomach rumble, and she wishes she could just work up the courage to go back.
Pushing all thoughts of Peeta Mellark and coffee from her mind, she enters the tower block that houses Twelve Press HQ and presses the button in the lift that will take her to the correct floor. As the silver doors slide open, however, she's met with absolute chaos. She had one foot on the wooden floor and the other still in the lift when Johanna flies out from nowhere and yanks her forwards by her elbow.
"What's going on?" Katniss asks, watching as people rush about with stacks of papers.
"Snow is falling," Jo explains shortly, her face grim.
"Oh." Katniss nods her understanding.
Snow is falling is a well-known and largely-dreaded phrase at Twelve Press. Coriolanus Snow, the president of District Inc. (the company that prints Twelve Press), drops in unexpectedly to try and catch out employees he can fire for being lazy or unproductive. Snow is a ruthless old man, intent on making money and people's lives miserable. Katniss has experienced one or two of Snow's drop-ins before, but each time they had a tip-off of at least an hour to prepare.
"How long have we got?" she asks, throwing her bag under her desk and rolling up her sleeves.
"He's gonna be here in ten minutes."
"Fuck."
"Exactly." Katniss turns to her own, taking in all the stacked folders and papers she's yet to organize and the general organised chaos of her desk. She begins by taking all the stacks of paper and shoving them into spare folders in an effort to make it at least a little more presentable, and then sorts the folders in colour order in her desk drawers.
Pastel yellow, baby pink, pale green, and sky blue folders lined up in each drawer. She turns to the other drawer on the left side of the desk and lines up the small pots of supplies and several grammar books. She tidies up the surface of her desk and pushes the chair in, stepping back and almost falling into Haymitch as he hobbles past at high-speed.
Johanna collapses into her chair with a sigh.
"He's trying to hide his stash of alcohol," she laughs. "By sticking it filing cabinets that don't look important."
"Good luck to him." Katniss nods, sitting down in here own chair. It seems like five seconds later when the overpowering smell of blood and roses fills the office. Johanna and Katniss spin around and face their computers, making themselves busy as Seneca Crane and Coriolanus Snow are welcomed by Haymitch to Twelve Press.
Katniss tenses as Snow ghosts past, tapping carefully on the keyboard. Haymitch's hand appears from nowhere and pulls open her filing cabinet, shooting her a look that says 'I hope you tidied this' before turning to smile at Snow and Seneca.
"We're very efficient- each worker keeps their cubical tidy in order to have a clear view of their goals," he says, repeating the speech he rehearsed as he hid his drinks.
"What was your quota last year?" Seneca asks.
"It was minimum of twenty-thousand."
"And what did you reach?" Snow's voice is quiet and snakelike, empowering and tense.
"We reached eight-four thousand, sir." Haymitch says, pushing the cabinet shut and patting Katniss' shoulder. She only relaxes when the three men move away.
It feels like Snow and Seneca are there forever, and when they finally leave, Haymitch throws his hands up in air and mouths 'thank you'.
"Alright folks, you did well," he does something with his face that he must intend to be a smile, but it looks more like a pained grimace. He disappears into his office. Katniss and Johanna high-five each other.
"Thank God that's over."
"Snow's like a snake… and Seneca is kissing his ass." Katniss says. Johanna snorts.
"If Seneca had his head any further up that old man's ass, we'd see his face in Snow's throat."
"Pleasant." Katniss wrinkles her nose at the imagery.
"Yeah, well…" Johanna shrugs.
"I'm gonna go get some coffee from Starbucks," Katniss says. "Do you want anything?"
"Something strong." Jo sighs, running her hand through her hair tiredly. Katniss goes into the communal kitchen and takes several dollar notes from the jar labelled 'don't take out more than you put in'. Haymitch had the idea first, and it's taken off surprisingly well. Each worker puts in some money which can be used to get coffee from the Starbucks down the street, or from some other store. The rule is that you don't take out more than you put in, and if you don't pay it back after a week, it doubles, and then doubles again etcetera.
Katniss is proud to say that's she's never had to pay double the amount before.
She puts the money in her pocket and pulls her coat tight around her body, zipping and buttoning it up as the lift plummets downwards. It's gotten considerably colder in the past few days, and she's sure it won't be long before frost laces the grass strip outside her apartment. Katniss crosses the road and walks for a minute or two until she reaches Starbucks and appreciates the warm blast of air that buffets her hair around as steps through the front doors.
Once the coffee has been bought Katniss heads back outside, eager to get back to the office, looking down at the coffee cups and trying to balance not getting run over and keep the coffee in the cups.
That is, until she steps out into the road to cross again and is yanked back by a strong hand. A surprised sort of 'ugh' sounds escapes her mouth as she saves the coffees. Seconds later a large tanker lorry thunders past. Her heart leaps into her throat. That was close.
"Hey, careful!" her saviour exclaims.
"God, thanks-"
"Hey!"
"Huh?" Katniss looks up. Damn. Of course it's him. Peeta stands beside her, dressed in a jacket and a cute beanie hat that makes eyes pop, a massive smile on his face.
"I haven't seen you around, and when I do, I'm saving your life?"
"Actually, I'm sure I would've been fine." Katniss struggles, taking a sub-conscious step away from Peeta, uncomfortable with his close proximity. She doesn't miss the way the light in his eyes dulls though, and regrets her frosty attitude immediately. She could've at least said thank you.
"Oh. Well, it's nice to see you again." Peeta pauses to open his mouth, and she shuts it again, as if he's deciding better on what he wanted to say.
"What did you want to say?"
"What?"
"You wanted to say something and then didn't. Tell me." Katniss encourages, staring at his ear. She can't look at his eyes. They're so emotion-filled and beautiful. It makes her feel empty and shell-like.
"Uh, well," Peeta flushes, looking to his left. "I was just gonna ask you if you prefer Starbucks coffee or something. Since you don't come to Mellarks anymore."
"Starbucks is closer when I'm at work."
"Yeah, I suppose." Peeta says, his words glum. He smiles at her a little. Guilt fills Katniss' heart and she looks away.
"See you around, Peeta," she says, deciding to diffuse and depart from the conversation before it can get any worse. Peeta nods and Katniss looks before she crosses.
"I hope," he murmurs.
Katniss' eyes widen. She isn't certain if she heard right, the words quiet enough to sound like they weren't intended for her to hear. She waits until she's safely on the other side of the road before looking over her shoulder to see if Peeta is still there.
He isn't.
He's gone, and she pushed him away when he was only trying to be friendly.
'Goodness, Kitty,' her mother would've scolded. 'He's just being nice, and you're being sour. In a city like that, you would benefit from having a few familiar faces outside of the friends who moved here with you'.
Katniss shakes the ghost of her mother from her back and continues on. It isn't her fault. At least not entirely. Past experiences have formed a rock-hard almost impenetrable barrier around her heart and mind. In all the time after Prim's death, she's never found someone aside from those she already knows that she can trust. It makes the dating game difficult. It makes meeting guys difficult.
She's ashamed to say that she's a deadweight to Madge and Jo. Her two girlfriends are always up to meeting a new guy - and they have no qualms against having one-night or one-week stands. Katniss is always dragging them down, she feels, and its her own fault for not fully relaxing. She's been told multiple times that not all the guys in the world are like the ones she's met. She's just had bad luck.
The music is loud and fast-paced, the sound resonating around the room and bouncing around in Katniss' head. She takes sip of her drink. She doesn't want a headache paired with a hangover tomorrow morning.
"You call that Peeta guy yet?" Madge asks, looking gorgeous in her slinky pink dress and golden locks tumbling down her back.
"W-how did you know about that?" Katniss splutters, her eyes going wide. Madge grins.
It's been just over five weeks since the coffee fiasco, (and four-ish since he saved her from getting run over) and Katniss is bashful to admit that she's completely forgotten about Peeta's number. She's forgotten about Peeta all together, his face blurring with all the other faces she sees every day. Twelve Press has been put under extra pressure recently, and she's been working long hours to complete reports and interviews.
"Johanna can't keep her mouth shut," Madge says, swirling her cocktail in its glass with a smile. "You should know that by now." Katniss grimaces and looks out onto the dance floor, searching for her pixyish friend. She's probably already got her hand down some guy's pants in the restrooms, if she's had her way.
Annie bailed on the group at the last minute, apologising for her boyfriend's sudden appearance. Annie is a quiet girl, and she's ever faithful to Finnick, but he's always away doing his part as a Marine. Her friends can't exactly chew her up for wanting to be with her boyfriend.
"Tell me you've texted him." Madge says when Katniss doesn't reply.
"Uh, no, I haven't," Katniss wrinkles her nose. Madge's mouth drops open.
"Fucking hell, Katniss!" she exclaims. Alcohol has a major effect on the usually well-spoken girl. Light weight, Katniss thinks to herself. "If I was presented with a hot blonde guy on a plate, I'd be all over that shit!"
"I put it in my jeans… I must have washed it. It'll be unreadable now."
"Johanna's right. You can be brainless at times." Madge sighs.
"Whose side are you on?"
"Yours usually, but you have a habit of letting good opportunities with guys pass you by," Madge says, her tone softening at Katniss' reaction. "Sorry. I didn't mean it like that."
"I know," Katniss sighs, taking another sip of her drink dejectedly. "It's not my fault I get hit on by assholes."
"You should be appreciating the fact that you get hit on regularly! The rest of us have to pick up the scraps of your man-eater ways."
"Shut up. I'm not a man-eater."
"All I'm saying is that when some guy gives you his number after just making you coffee, you can't say no. At least try. He must be something special if he gave you his number," Katniss slumps back in her seat and adjusts her outfit.
On a night out like this, Katniss would normally wear tight jeans or denim shorts, paired with a shirt borrowed from one of the girls, since the only things she owns are 'bland' and 'unsuitable' for going to a club. She owns three dresses, but has resigned from wearing dresses, regardless of who the dress belongs to, after a particularly nasty guy decided that 'no' meant 'yes' and tried to pull her panties down on the dance floor.
Johanna had plenty to say to him.
Tonight Katniss was dragged to Madge's house for pre-cocktail cocktails, and she was forced into one of the many LBD's Madge owns. Katniss has to admit, it's a beautiful dress. 'Sexy without being slutty' Madge had said, holding the dress out in front of Katniss. The dress is long sleeved and reaches the middle of her thighs, and has black lace over her shoulders and down her back. It shows off her body without making her look desperate.
Paired with a pair of black heels (shoes Katniss was originally wary of, until Johanna taught her how to walk comfortably without looking like a duck), her hair braided back from her face but left hanging down her back in a sleek wave, and simple makeup from Annie, Katniss feels pretty damn sexy tonight. She's sure that the alcohol has made her more assured that usual, but she's trying to ignore that fact and enjoy her evening.
"Well, even if he was interested, it's too late now. I've lost his number."
"He works at Mellarks, right?" Madge queries. Katniss nods. "So you go and get another coffee and 'conveniently bump into him."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because he'll ask me why I haven't called him for over a month. It would just be embarrassing!" Katniss hisses.
"Tell me what he looked like again?" Madge says, raising an eyebrow.
"Oh," Katniss smiles at the memory, looking down at her glass. "He's tall, but not too tall. His hair is blonde, his eyes are this amazing blue colour. He has a nice ass… and his arms are pretty awesome as well," she pauses, thinking of his smile and friendly attitude. "And when he smiled at me, he had this one dimple. His mouth lifted higher on the left side- oh, and he knew that I worked at Twelve! He reads my pieces!"
Everything's silent for a moment after she finishes speaking. She looks up to find Madge giving her a knowing smiles.
"Shit." Katniss whispers, her cheeks flushing.
"He certainly made an impression then," Madge laughs. "For you to remember that much about him – to notice all that stuff is pretty awesome."
"Stop it, don't make me embarrassed."
"Katniss, you aren't listening to me!" Madge hisses, snapping her manicured fingers in front of her friend's face. Katniss scowls at her. "This isn't just some guy! He obviously likes you at least a bit to give you his number, and you've remember loads about him. Don't tell me that you don't feel something."
"I've spoken to him once! I don't know his surname or anything about him!"
"Mellarks," Madge says sarcastically. "His name is Peeta Mellark."
"Okay, I could've figured that out myself but-"
"No buts! After breakfast tomorrow with Annie and Finn you're going to get his number!" Madge waves her hands around animatedly as she speaks and Katniss shakes her head.
"It's not gonna happen, Madge. He's probably forgotten about me already."
"Do you want me to drag Johanna out here so she can yell at you?"
"No." Katniss purses her lips.
"And I'm sure that Annie and Finn will be pretty fucking pissed at you for being an asshole."
"Hey!"
"Don't get all sensitive now, Everdeen." Madge says.
"Whatever." Katniss says, downing her drink in three gulps, appreciating the warmth and the numbness that flows through her.
"You could get laid. Or even better - a boyfriend!"
"I wish." Katniss mutters.
She's been single for three years now. She's twenty-two. Her last boyfriend had been Marvel Marshall, a complete asshole from high school who had pestered her until she had agreed to go on a date. He had a big ego and a small dick, to put it simply. And since then she's been unsuccessful at finding anyone she's remotely interested in.
In her empty apartment, she's struggled to keep the lonely out. But as she lies in bed, she can't help but feel a sharp tug at her heart. All she wants is someone to love her. It's been a long, long time since she felt loved. The last person that made her feel truly loved was Prim, and she's been gone for what feels like forever.
"You're wishing for him now."
"No I'm not. All I'm saying is-"
"Hot damn." Madge breathes.
"What?" Katniss asks, confused.
"Fuck me," her friend continues, her eyes wide as she stares at something or someone over Katniss' shoulder. She twists in her seat to look in the direction of Madge's stare.
Walking down past the row of seats at the bar and the booths along the wall, are three guys. The first is a red-haired guy with mischievous green eyes and a lopsided grin. Johanna would like him, Katniss thinks.
The second is a tall man with and olive complexion and hair so dark it looks black. He's not blatantly muscular, but he's lean and has that brooding look that girls seems to swarm over.
"Shit, Katniss," Madge whispers. "Tall dark and handsome could be your brother. I hope that won't make it awkward in bed."
"I'm sure you'll manage," Katniss retorts, giving her friend a look.
The third guy, however, is blonde and broad-shouldered and smouldering in a button up grey shirt, black tie and well-fitted pants.
It's Peeta.
As in Peeta Mellark, the guy who gave her his number.
As in Peeta fucking Mellark!
"Mind you, blondie is pretty cute as well," Madge simpers. Katniss ducks back into the booth and grabs Johanna's drink, choking it down hurriedly, coughing at the strong vodka. "I might just try my luck-"
"That's Peeta!" Katniss screeches, scrambling to hide her face behind her purse, her pulse racing. What the hell is he doing here?
"What?!"
"The blonde guy! It's Peeta, the guy you've just been grilling me about!"
"No way!" Madge squeals, sidling up to Katniss. "You're right, he's cute."
"Oh my God, Madge, what am I going to do?" Katniss panics. The rational part of her is screaming at her to calm down. It isn't a complete shocker for him to be here. This town has many clubs and bars, but this is the most popular with people in their early twenties. She's already made a fool of herself. Surely Peeta will now just laugh in her face.
"You're gonna go and dance with him! And have the most memorable night of your entire life!" Madge says, yanking the purse away from Katniss' face. Katniss ducks down, watching between her fingers as Peeta and his friends retreat further away from her booth.
"What's up with brainless?" Johanna asks, sliding into the booth with a sly smile, patting down her hair and smacking her freshly lip-sticked mouth.
"What's up? What's up is that Peeta Mellark just walked past!" Madge informs her with a grin.
"Really?" Johanna says, an evil gleam flickering in her eyes.
"Guys, don't do this to me!" Katniss begs, her eyes wide.
"Where's my drink?" Johanna asks.
"Katniss here gulped it down when she saw coffee-boy go past." Madge cackles. Katniss groans. Johanna clasps her hands together in glee.
"Is he here by himself?"
"No."
"He's with two other guys," Katniss mumbles. "A red-head and-"
"Tall, dark and handsome. Who's mine, by the way." Madge inputs.
"Where did they go? I want to have a good look at the guy Katniss has been lusting over." Johanna says.
"I have not!" Katniss snaps.
"Across the bar… in that direction." Madge says, ignoring Katniss and pointing her finger.
"I'm gonna go find them." Jo says, and Katniss flies forward to yank the slender girl back into the booth.
"No fucking way are either of you going to do that."
"Ouch, Katniss, that hurt!" Johanna protests, batting Katniss' hands away from her dress.
"I'll be hurt if you go and find Peeta!"
"I was gonna check out his friends first!" Jo says, trying to sound sincere, though the laughter breaks through pretty quickly. Katniss lets her head fall onto the surface of the table with a groan.
"Okay, okay. We're sorry," Madge says, rubbing Katniss' back. She mimes drinking over her friend's head and Johanna's expression turns devious. "We won't if you don't want us to. Will we Jo?"
"Brainless, I won't." Johanna says. Katniss looks up.
"I need another round of drinks," she mutters. "Make it fast."
Almost an hour later, Katniss is undeniably drunk. She can't exactly walk in a straight line, but she's in control. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't. She's being sensible. Unlike Madge who is too far gone to realise that she's tried to pull a guy's pants down in the middle of the dance floor before Jo and Katniss dragged her away, and Johanna who's enticing random men over to toy with them and then send them on their way.
"I really fucking love you guys," Madge slurs, pressing a sloppy kiss on Katniss' cheek and Johanna's forehead.
"I love you bitches too." Johanna laughs.
"I'm so lonely." Katniss says, her bottom lip quivering, emotions threatening to spill over the dam they're being held back against.
"Oh, Katniss. You're aren't lonely." Madge says with a small smile.
"Yeah I am." Katniss frowns.
"You just need a handsome guy to sweep you off your feet – preferably one with a big dick and tonnes of cash – and then you're set." Johanna grins. Katniss laughs.
"You should totally talk to Peeta."
"No way."
"Yes way! You're a great person Katniss, and I can tell that you like him!" Madge insists.
"Madge, you can't tell anything. I've met him once."
"Love at first sight!" Madge squeals. "It's perfect!"
"I'm gonna go get him." Johanna leaps up from her seat and dashes of into the crowd before Katniss can stop her.
"Madge, listen to me," Katniss says, her eyes wide and horror-filled. "I can't see him again. I've made myself look stupid. He wont want anything to do with me. I'm just the weird, plain girl that apparantly doesn't have social skills."
"He wont think that."
"He will!"
"Katniss, stop."
"I need to get out of here."
"Katniss!"
"What?!"
"Puh-lease tell me you'll try to see how it goes with him!" Madge says, stroking Katniss' hair.
"You should go after his friend. The dark-haired one. I think Johanna wants the red-head." Katniss says glumly, trying to look for the nearest exit point so she can call a cab and bury her feelings at the bottom of a bag of Cheetos. The club music suddenly sounds a lot louder.
"You think I'd have a chance?" Madge asks, her eyes wide and beseeching.
"Of course, you're beautiful inside and out, Madge." Katniss says. Madge's face crumples and for one moment Katniss fears the alcohol has replaced the blood in the blonde girl's veins and that's she's gonna cry, but she instead finds herself encased in a hug.
"Thanks, Kat."
"But I want you to drink some water first."
"I'm not that drunk. We ate food before we go here. I'm fine."
"Madge…" Katniss says. Madge huffs and pours herself a glass of water, drinking it slowly. Katniss does the same. If she's gonna be forced to speak to Peeta, she at least wants to be a little more sober.
Two glasses of water later, Katniss is feeling marginally better. Madge has disappeared to the bathrooms once already to fix her makeup, and now she's fretting over her dress.
"It's frumpy," she pouts, smoothing down the outfit.
"It's cute."
"I don't want to be cute."
"Cute and sexy… you didn't let me finish." Katniss reassures her, trying to sound strong. She looks down at her own dress and runs her hand over it nervously.
This could go two ways. The first way – the way she secretly thinks she prefers – that Peeta isn't annoyed at her and doesn't think of her as a piece of meat and she finds a way to not get tongue-tied around him like she did at the bakery.
The second way is that Peeta refuses to talk to her and she ends up having to go to Cray's Coffees several blocks away from Mellarks and endure a lifetime of regret whenever she walks past the place.
She doesn't have enough time to think, however, because Johanna suddenly appears, stalking over to the booth in her signature supermodel style (all swaying hips and smooth foot placements and a pushed out chest) with a satisfied smile and three boys on her heels. Katniss shoots her an exasperated look.
"Katniss, Madge, I'd like you to meet Gale Hawthorne-" she gestures to the dark-haired one. He waves his hand slightly and grins. "- and Darius Collins-" the red-head nods his greeting before returning his gaze to Johanna. "-and, well, Katniss… you already know Peeta, don't you?" Her tone is sickly sweet and Katniss glares at her furiously.
"It's nice to see you again, Katniss." Peeta says sincerely. Gale nudges his friend and gives him a look. Peeta blushes.
"Uh… yeah…" she says, flustered.
"Sit down guys, I'll get another round of drinks." Johanna says. Gale practically leaps over to sit beside Madge, taking her hand in his and kissing it.
"I love your dress," he says. Madge giggles. Darius follows Johanna to the bar, and Peeta sits hesitantly beside Katniss, smiling at her.
"I like your dress as well," he offers, his blue eyes a shade darker since the last time she saw him.
"Thanks," she says, looking away.
Their conversation stops there, and Katniss watches as Madge stares intently at Gale as he talks about something. She fees that pang in her heart at how fascinated they seem with each other. If she isn't careful, she's going to end up being the only person in her group of friends without a boyfriend. She almost cries in relief when Johanna and Darius reappear with a tray of new drinks, and she swipes hers and downs half of it just for something to do.
"What are you drinking?" Peeta asks.
"Pardon?" Katniss coughs, surprised that he's actually talking to her.
"Your drink; what is it?"
"Rum and Coke… the usual."
"Cool," he smiles, taking a sip of his. Katniss fidgets for a second before realising that he was probably expecting her to return the question.
"What- what about you?"
"Just water today," Peeta says, though he sounds like he wishes he was drinking something just a little stronger.
"Uh, yum." Katniss flounders, cringing internally. Yum? Really? It's water, for goodness sake. Johanna suddenly grabs her glass and slams it down on the table once it's empty.
"You're coming with me, pretty boy," she tells Darius, holding out her hand for him to take. He looks astonished at first, but quickly recovers, taking her hand and disappearing into the crowd of people on the dance floor. Gale seems to notice Madge's wistful expression and stands up.
"Would you like to dance with me?" he says with a smile.
"Really?" Madge asks. Gale nods and Katniss watches at Madge follows him off in the direction Johanna and Darius went.
Fucking fantastic. She's been abandoned.
"Katniss?" Peeta asks, his voice unsure, testing the waters. Katniss shifts away from him a little, convinced that he doesn't want to be sat so close to her when they have an entire booth to themselves. "I'm sorry to ask this… but I have to know."
"What?" Katniss asks, the words coming out sharper than she intended.
"Was me giving you my number too-forward? Or inappropriate?"
That was not what she expected him to say.
"Because I didn't know how to just ask you… and you didn't call or text me or come back to the shop. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable." Katniss looks up and finds his face a picture of sweetness. He looks genuinely sorry.
"I- you didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I thought it was nice of you," she says.
"Why didn't you text me or something?"
"I washed my jeans… your number was in the pocket."
"Oh."
"I think I wanted to text you or something… I just, didn't."
"You think?" Peeta asks.
"Um, yeah."
"Oh."
They fall into silence again.
Madge comes back searching for a drink, bending over the table to grab her glass. Gale shamelessly stares at her ass. Katniss watches him carefully. Madge is delicate. Madge doesn't need to be picked up by this guy and then dumped the next day.
"M- Madge?" she exclaims, cringing at how croaky her voice is. "Can you, er, come with me?"
"Yeah, sure Kat," Madge replies. She tells Gale she'll be right back and Katniss drags her by the arm into the girl's bathrooms. They're empty, and Katniss is free to begin pacing up and down. "What's wrong?" Madge asks, standing in front of one of the mirrors and dabbing at her lipstick.
"I can't do this! I'm just sitting there in silence. He probably thinks I hate him or something!" she pauses, running a hand through her hair, messing it all up. Madge makes a motherly 'tut tut' sound and smoothes it back into place. "He keeps trying to talk to me and I don't know what to say."
"Just be normal, Katniss. By the way he was looking at you back there, I can tell that he likes you."
"Don't say that. Don't lie to make me feel better, Madge."
"I'm not! He looked like you were the most amazing thing," at Katniss' incredulous look, she rolls her eyes. "Its the truth, Kat. I'm not lying to you. Promise."
"I don't believe you. And I can't believe you and Jo left me alone!"
"Well, I'm sorry, but we both thought you could be a little more relaxed if it was just the two of you. We didn't want to interfere, especially since he looks like he's actually interested in you!" Madge hisses. Katniss scowls, grinding her teeth.
"Stop it."
"Oh, and did you know that he stopped by at the florists two days ago," Madge asks, raising an eyebrow. Katniss freezes. "I asked him how I could help. He started muttering about something. I could've sworn he said 'Katniss'."
"What?"
"Exactly."
"He wasn't getting flowers for me."
"Yeah, right. He was planning to get flower for one of the other Katniss' in this town." Madge says.
"He's not interested in me."
"He is. Give him a chance."
"Why should I? How do I know that he's not a huge douche bag?"
"Has he tried to touch you yet?" Madge asks.
"No." Katniss snaps.
"Has he said anything remotely sexual to you?"
"No."
"Has he made any kind of move since that day you met him in Mellarks that could indicate that he wants to fuck you and then leave you?"
"Madge!" Katniss cries.
"Has he?!"
"For fucks sake! No!"
"And does he look like he'd ever take advantage of you or call you a bitch or a slag or a frigid whore?" Madge continues, counting off the checklist with her fingers
"No," Katniss whispers.
"There you go then," her friend concludes. "I promise you, Kat. He seems like a really good guy. And if he tries any dick moves, I'm sure Johanna would gladly punch his lights out."
"I'm just scared. I don't want to look stupid again."
"You never looked stupid, okay?"
"Okay."
"Now get back out there."
"Fine."
Madge follows Katniss out of the bathrooms. All the confidence that had been built up in her by her friend's encouragement fizzles out when Peeta comes into view. He's in a deep conversation with Gale, his brow furrowed, his blue eyes dazzling. Madge squeezes Katniss hand and disappears again with Gale. Katniss slips back into the seat and tries to remember what Madge said.
"Hey." Peeta greets her.
"Sorry about that."
"No worries," he says, nodding once. Katniss fiddles with her glass. Shit.
Out of the corner of her eye, Katniss sees Peeta relax against the upholstered seat. His phone buzzes and she pulls it out, tapping out a reply to what seems to be text. She sees his reply and frowns. Acrylic and Oil are different things, you should know that. Followed by a winky face.
"Acrylic and oil?" she blurts out, slapping her hand over her mouth once she's said it. An amused smile on his lips. "I'm sorry. You don't have to answer that. I shouldn't have been so nosy."
"It's alright," he tells her. Katniss hugs her arms around her body. "I could tell you were reading it anyway."
"You could not."
"I could. You had your chin practically on my shoulder."
"I didn't!" Katniss exclaims, embarrassed at the whiny tone her voice takes on. Peeta just looks more entertained.
"Okay, you didn't," Peeta says, though it's clear he's just saying it to console her. She lets out a huff of indignation. "But that was my brother, Fenton. My birthday's coming up in a few days and he wanted to know what paints to get me as a present."
"Not much of a surprise then."
"He'd rather me just tell him. Fen doesn't do well in art shops."
"You paint?"
"Yeah," Peeta says, blushing a little. "It's always been an… uh, a hobby of some sort. Helps me clear my head."
"Oh, cool. My sister liked painting when she was little."
"Your sister?"
"Yeah, Prim."
"I didn't know you had a sister."
"I didn't know you had a brother."
"Yeah… he's older. Unfortunately."
"Cool. Prim's younger."
"What's she like?" he asks, honestly interested in what she has to say.
"She was stubborn. Blonde, blue eyed, gorgeous," she runs her finger over the tip of her class and sucks the drops of alcohol off her digit. Peeta's eyes follow her movements. "A lot like you, actually. You could've passed as siblings."
"You think I'm gorgeous?" Peeta asks. Katniss backtracks.
"No! I mean, no, yes, I mean- sorry," she shakes her head.
"I know I'm gorgeous." Peeta teases, giving her a smouldering look. She squirms, intrigued by the way his eyes darken, ignoring the butterflies below her stomach.
"Whatever," she says flippantly. Peeta just chuckles softly.
"You said that your sister was stubborn. Is she not stubborn anymore?"
"Uh, no." Katniss says, thinking of the way Prim had insisted that they go to the rundown old theme park in town the day before it closed. She had been flung from the seat of a rickety ride, her back snapping as she flew from the ride and landed on the ground, the seatbelt torn from the seat. She swallows, willing herself not to cry.
For two years she hasn't cried about Prim. She isn't about to start now. Prim's last words to Katniss as she lay in the grass with the neon fairground lights reflecting off the tears in her eyes had been 'move on, Katniss'. She was going to live for the promise she made. Peeta Mellark wasn't about to make her break that promise, no way.
"So is she stubborn or not?" Peeta asks. "I'm confused." He stares at Katniss, unaware of what he's just done. What he's just fallen into.
"She's dead." Katniss mumbles.
"I'm so, so, sorry Katniss. I didn't know… I – I didn't think…" Peeta's so sad all of a sudden, his eyes wide his hands hovering in mid-air, unsure of if he should hug her or pat her hand or bring her an entire roll of toilet paper. She tries to ignore the feeling that swells in her gut. She wants him to hug her.
Three meetings, Katniss, she thinks, he's not interested.
"It's fine. It was a long time ago. You wouldn't understand."
"I'm sorry though. And I do understand-"
"Can we change the subject, please?" Katniss asks desperately. Peeta pauses, his mouth still open, and nods.
"How long have you worked at Twelve Press then?" he says, keeping his voice even and the subject even.
"Um, about two and half years now."
"And your articles are already the star attractions? That's some feint."
"Not really. I just buy Haymitch lots of coffee." Katniss shrugs. Peeta laughs again, though the sound is strained. He's not the same now. Katniss has ruined it by bringing up the past.
"Haymitch sounds like a fun guy."
"The best," Katniss can't keep the sarcasm from her voice. She's relieved to have moved on. "How about you? Do you work at Mellarks full time?" Turn the conversation back to him, that's what she needs to do.
"Mostly – it's a family business and I guess I kind of owe my parents for raising me-" he chuckles softly. "– but I also sell paintings."
"Really?"
"Yeah. They don't make much, but it's nice to know that I have a source of income that's from my own hard work."
"Would I have ever seen any of your paintings?"
"If you typed 'Peeta Mellark paintings' in Google you'd probably see a few." Peeta says with a smile.
"I've never met a painter."
"Really?"
"No."
"I've never met someone with eyes like yours."
"Excuse me?" Katniss asks, incredulous.
"Sorry, it's just that you have really beautiful eyes."
"They're just boring old grey."
"No they aren't. They're silver."
"I think you're imagining things," Katniss watches Peeta swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down the smooth arch of his neck.
"No, I'm not. They're like molten silver. They caught my eyes when you came back and told me that the coffee you received was disgusting."
"I didn't mean it." Katniss blushes.
"I'm surprised I didn't keep messing up your order, actually. You have a killer stare."
"The coffee was amazing," Katniss reassures him. "And I couldn't even look at you."
"Why not?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Yeah it does," Peeta says, and his insistent tone makes Katniss' pulse spike.
"It doesn't matter." Katniss says, making her words more forceful. Peeta seems to get the message and falls silent.
"Sorry," he whispers.
Katniss takes another sip of her drink. She needs to leave before he gets annoyed or she embarrasses herself even more. Johanna and Madge are nowhere in sight.
"You look really nice, by the way. We kind of match." Peeta speaks up again. His cheerful expression has returned, Katniss notices. He's skilled at forming a mask. She's skilled at being an anti-social blob. He's trying admirably to keep the conversation going, even with a broken oar like herself.
"How do we match?"
"I'm wearing black and grey. You're wearing black and grey." Peeta shrugs.
"I'm just wearing black," Katniss says, looking down at her dress. "It's not called an LBD for nothing."
"Yeah, but look," Peeta chuckles, reaching forward and touching her arm. She flinches away in surprise and the movement somehow sends his hand brushing against her breast. "Oh, shit, sorry." Peeta mumbles, his cheeks flushing red again.
"No, no. It was an accident."
"I didn't mean it- Katniss, fuck. I'm sorry. I'm saying the wrong things and doing-"
"Don't worry about- it's fine… I've got to go." In her moment of panic, Katniss jumps away from the table, her face flaming up when she bangs her hip against the corner of the table top in her rush to get away. She's embarrassed herself way too much.
Despite this embarrassment she feels, she can't help but notice the strange urge she has to return back to Peeta, as if there's some strange connection between the two of them. It must be a pretty important bond, Katniss thinks, for it to be so strong and unbreakable.
The proverb about two people being connected by an unbreakable red string crosses her mind, but she shakes it off. Its a stupid proverb anyway.
Katniss is not connected to Peeta Mellark. She's met him three times, and each time she fumbled over her words and made herself look like a complete idiot. She needs to get out of this club before she does it again.
Johanna and Madge will figure out she's called a cab themselves, but she texts them anyway in case they worry about where she's gone off too. It's freezing outside – her breath steams into the air – and she instantly regrets not bringing a coat. Inside the club the skimpy dress was comfortable. But out here she's freezing. Worse still, there aren't any cabs in sight. It must be later than she thought.
She pulls out her phone to call someone from the taxi company, the thought of her bed and a good book or late night TV calling her name. Goosebumps prickle her bare skin as she waits for somebody to pick up.
"Tigris Taxis. How can I help you?" a voice asks.
"Hi, I need a taxi to pick me up outside Club Mockingjay."
"Okay, when do you need this taxi?"
"Right now would be ideal." Katniss replies, wobbling about back and forth in her shoes up and down the sidewalk.
"I'm afraid we don't have any available taxis right now in that area. The nearest is half an hour away."
"Uh, really?" Katniss winces. Half an hour? That's long enough to be found by Jo and Madge. That's long enough for Peeta to find her, if he still thinks she's a human being with feelings.
"Yes, would you like to book it now?" the voice purrs the suggestion. Katniss imagines a feline-looking face as the owner.
"No, no. I'll be fine. Thank you."
"Are you sure? We have other clients who will take it if you don't."
"Nah, it's alright."
"Okay, have a good evening."
"Yep… you too." Katniss sighs and fights the urge to throw her mobile down onto the concrete and scream. The dial tone buzzes obnoxiously.
Checking her purse to see if she has enough money for the bus, Katniss begins to the walk to the bus stop three blocks away. Her thoughts flicker back to Peeta. He's going to be humiliated when Jo and Madge and Gale and Darius come back and find him sitting by himself. All he was trying to do was compliment her – and she freaked out and just pushed him away instead. Again.
She's so preoccupied with her thoughts that doesn't hear the footsteps coming up behind her. It's only when a hand comes to rest on her upper arm from behind and pull her backwards a little that she whips around in a panic and swings her hand forward blindly into the darkened street. Her knuckles make contact with something firm and she relishes at the sound of her hand hitting flesh.
"I have pepper spray!" she squeaks, staggering back slightly, unable to see in the dim light.
"Okay, wow," a disembodied voice grimaces.
"Shit, Peeta?" Katniss slaps her hand against her forehead and groans internally. The panic she just felt at having a potential attack trying to grab her ass or something vanishes, replaced with relief. And then she panics again. What is wrong with her? First she rejected him. Then she didn't thank him for saving her from getting run over. And now she's punched him in the face.
"I guess I shouldn't have grabbed your arm in the darkness," Peeta replies, stepping closer towards her, rubbing his jaw. "You have an excellent left hook by the way."
"Oh, my God," Katniss gasps. "I'm such an idiot. I didn't mean to hit you… I just… I freaked out, I guess. Sorry."
"I'll live," Peeta shrugs, his eyes glistening. Katniss nods. Peeta shifts his weight. A slight flush has crept up onto his cheeks, and he looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I don't have pepper spray, at least not on me."
"I figure you can't fit it in your purse?"
"No, but it never hurts to be armed."
"I suppose."
"Sorry," she whispers again.
"Don't worry… I'm kind of used to-" he chuckles wryly, cutting himself off. Katniss frowns. Was he about to say that he was used to getting hit?
"Oh."
"Uh, yeah. So, where are you going? Your friends are gonna wonder where you've gone."
"I'm tired. It's been a long week, you know."
"Yeah…"
"I just want to go home and watch TV."
"You need a ride?" Peeta offers. Katniss freezes.
This is how it always plans out. She freaks out. She runs off. Guys mistake her for playing hard to get and wanting them to follow her, when really she just wants to get away. They kiss her. They offer to go back to their place for 'coffee'. She fell for the offer the first few times, before she realised that coffee never actually meant coffee.
She thinks of Peeta and his stellar coffee-making skills. Maybe it's a symbol.
Maybe he's just good at making coffee.
"I'll get the bus."
"The bus is cold and filled with grumpy people, Katniss," Peeta says. "Let me take you back to your place."
"The bus isn't that bad," she insists, hoping that he wont think her reluctance is just part of an elaborate scheme. She hopes that him offering her a ride isn't part of an elaborate scheme.
"My car is better. I have heated seats." Peeta says, a hint of a smile appearing on his lips. Katniss wrinkles her nose suspiciously.
"So?"
"You look cold," he notes. She furrows her brow at him. What's he trying to do? "I should've offered you my jacket," he pulls his jacket off and reaches towards her. She hunches her shoulders and her hands curl into fists. "Sorr-"
"If you want to get into my panties just tell me, okay?! Stop dragging it out with all this chivalry shit!" Katniss snaps. Peeta is stunned into silence, but he still drapes his jacket over her shoulders. She hates how she does up the first two buttons after her outburst.
"I'm not trying to 'get into your panties'." Peeta finally says, his words quiet and calculated. Katniss knows she's hurt him.
"I know-"
"I just thought you'd like a lift home. And you do look cold."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"If the offer of a ride home is still there, I'd like to accept it," Katniss says. Peeta nods.
"Yeah, yeah. My car's just along here."
"After I've yelled at you, punched you, yelled at you again?"
"I obviously made you feel uncomfortable by asking about your sister… and I scared you by creeping up like that."
"And I didn't mean to touch your… your…" he clears his throat.
"Let's forget that happened." Katniss tells him. He blushes and grins.
"And I can't exactly let you go home by yourself either."
"Thank you." Katniss nods, trying to ignore the awkward feeling bubbling up inside her. They walk in silence until they reach Peeta's car. Ever courteous, he opens the door for her and shuts it once she's seated. As he pulls out into the street, the seats begin to heat up. Katniss' bare legs tickle at the temperature change.
"Where do you live then?" Peeta asks softly.
"Oh, um…. The West Dell apartments… just off Hamlin Way."
"Forest girl, huh?"
"Yeah. It's as far as I can get out of the city without being in the suburbs… and I can go hiking when I'm stressed if I want."
"I've never been a hiking person… I prefer being inside and baking."
"You like painting though," Katniss says, noting the way his eyes brighten at her memory. "Where I hike there's some really nice views."
"Are you inviting me to go hiking with you?"
"Oh, uh, I- I don't-"
"Katniss, I'm messing with you."
"Oh! Well, you could come if you wanted."
"I'll think about it."
"What do you paint otherwise? Do you create paintings of coffee?"
"Funny," Peeta laughs, reaching forward to turn on the blinker. Katniss shifts in her seat, watching the profile of his face. Basked in the dashboard lights and the lights from other cars, his eyelashes look like spider webs, framing his eyes perfectly. I notice the slightly silver shimmer of a scar on his neck, stretching over the side of his throat and dipping below the collar of his black leather jacket. She wonders how it got there.
"Katniss?"
"Huh?"
"I, uh, I said that I paint anything that interests or terrifies me."
"Oh," Katniss nods enthusiastically, embaressed at being caught staring. He rubs the back of his neck again. "That's cool. I can't paint to save my life."
"It's a skill that took a long time to master. I bet you have a skill that you've improved at over the years."
"Actually, yes. I do."
"Really? What is it?"
"You'll think it's stupid."
"I'm the one who's made a complete dick of themselves tonight, you're excused." Peeta laughs as he turns down onto her street.
"Archery." Katniss spits out.
"Wha- what?" Peeta splutters.
"See. I told you that you'd laugh."
"No, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just surprised," Peeta parks up outside her apartment block and turns to look at her. Katniss fiddles with her seatbelt. "I didn't expect someone like you to be an archer."
"Someone like me?"
"You give the impression of being independent and strong… and you look amazing tonight. If I had to pick something to go with you – well, it wouldn't be a bow and arrow."
"Well, you suite painting. You seem creative and stuff."
"Thanks." Peeta smiles. Katniss smiles back at him. She glances up at her apartment window.
"Do you want to come inside? For a drink or something?"
It's then that the little voice inside her head scolds her. You've yelled at him and become paranoid that he's just another douchebag, and now you're inviting him into your apartment? She bites her lip. It's only eleven o'clock. Normally she'd still be at the club, getting even more intoxicated. You're already drunk, dumbass, or you wouldn't have invited him in, the voice reminds her.
"If that's okay with you." Peeta says. Katniss nods, forcing herself to climb out the car and out into the cold night air. She hurries up into her apartment building, eager to get inside, and presses the elevator button for the fifth floor. Peeta is silent as they walk along the hallway and as she unlocks her apartment door.
"You can hang your coat up just there," she directs, pointing to a row of hooks on the wall. Peeta pulls his jacket off and hangs it neatly.
Katniss dumps her purse on her coffee table and turns to face Peeta, who is surveying the open plan layout of her home with his hands shoved into his pockets.
"You've got a nice place," he states. "I love the orange paint." He points to the walls. Katniss smiles again.
"I'm just going to change into something else. Make yourself comfortable," she says, gesturing to the couch. She darts into her bedroom and yanks her dress off, pulling on a faded green shirt and a pair of sweats, twisting her hair back into a braid. She re-enters the living space and moves over to the small kitchen attached to it, pulling out a few bottle of beer.
"I hope Bud is alright with you. I haven't been grocery shopping lately."
"Nah, that's cool. Cheers." Katniss sits down beside Peeta on the sofa, making sure to keep a fair distance between the two of them.
"Uh, Madge said you visited the florists a few days ago. She works there."
"Oh, um." Peeta blushes, embarrassed at being caught out.
"She said she didn't remember you until I said you worked at Mellarks."
"Yeah, I was... uh..." he looks away, taking a long drag of the beer.
"Buying flowers?" she plays off her initial bad conversation starter as best as she can. Peeta laughs.
"Yes, actually, I was."
His laughter sets off the mood. Katniss relaxes. Normally the guy she'd invited round would have already tried to kiss her. Peeta has given her space. Instead, they talk for a while about trivial things; life at Twelve Press and what her next articles look to be about, business at Mellarks and some more about his brother, Fen. Katniss doesn't realise that all the beer is gone until she reaches for another. She stands to find something else, wanting Peeta to stay and chat with her. It's been a long time since she's actually been able to sit next to someone who wasn't Jo or Madge and just talk.
He's even kicked his shoes off, relaxing back into her couch. She put the TV on to use it as a distraction is necessary, but it's been on mute for the entire time.
"… I knew that I was going to get into trouble, but I did it anyway."
"What happened?" Katniss asks, pulling out coffee beans and chucking them into the grinder, not caring about the horrible churning sound it makes. "Did your Dad find out that your brother had given you all that icing?"
"Uh, yeah. He found out when I threw up all over the floor." Peeta grimaces. Katniss laughs, pouring the coffee into two mugs and bringing it over to him.
"This isn't as good as the coffee you made me, but it's better than nothing," she apologises.
"You liked the coffee I made you?"
"Yeah, yeah. It was the best coffee ever and all that shit. Carry on telling me about your throwing-up fiasco." Katniss snorts. Peeta gives her a pointed look. She lets out an uncharacteristically high pitched giggle and punches his arm. He rolls his eyes and continues.
"So I threw up – everywhere – and when Dad found me he just sat me up on the countertop and gave me a glass of water and went to go and find Fen and Rye and demanded they clean up my vomit as a punishment," Peeta chuckles at the memory. Katniss narrows her eyes.
"Who's Rye?"
"What?"
"You said that your Dad went to get Fen and… Rye?" she presses her hands to the hot ceramic of the coffee cup and watches him. Peeta's face pales and his eyes widen. "Peeta?"
"When you told me about your sister… Prim… I realised that we had something in common," he starts, his fingers clenching and unclenching around the coffee cup, looking down at the coffee as if it's suddenly the most interesting thing in the world. Katniss folds her legs under her. "I had another brother… in between Fen and I. Rye."
"What happened?" Katniss asks, leaning forward and resting her hand on his.
"When he was sixteen – I was twelve – we were sitting at the dinner table one evening when he threw down his cutlery and said 'Mom, Dad, I'm gay'. It was completely out of nowhere. Mom was furious. She always wanted to have the perfect set of children, and in her eyes, a gay son was a bad son," he pauses, shifting to put his mug on the coffee table.
"She tried to make him 'normal'. Sent him to groups. Sent him to therapy. And when that didn't work she started to yell and hit him. He was so ashamed of himself – she made him hate himself – that he… he… killed himself a year later."
"How?" I ask, shocked at his confession. He runs a shaky hand through his hair.
"Stepped out in front of a train."
"Oh, my God. I'm so sorry Peeta."
"Yeah, we all are. My Dad beats himself up about it every day."
"What happened to your mother?"
"She moved out years ago. Blamed us all, of course." Peeta take a long gulp of his drink and lets out a long exhale. Katniss surprises him (and herself) by throwing her arms around him, burying her face in his neck.
"Prim, my sister, died when she was seventeen as well," she mumbles. Peeta presses his hands to the small of her back and waits for her to continue. She appreciates his silence. "She was moving to New York with her boyfriend, Rory, straight after graduation. Had it all planned out. The day before she was due to leave, we went to the old fairground in our town,"
"It was an old place – been running for years – and the machinery wasn't exactly safe. Safe enough for most, but not for Prim. She was thrown from a ride and died ten minutes later."
"Oh, Katniss, that's worse than Rye."
"No it wasn't. She died happy. Rye… he died…"
"Torn up inside?" Peeta finishes. Katniss nods and shifts again to lean against him more, revealing in his warmth and scent. He sighs against her skin.
"I miss her," she murmurs, closing her eyes. He pulls her closer.
"I miss him too. I didn't appreciate him enough… and then he was gone."
"She told me to move on, you know… it's been difficult though. Did you know I haven't been with anyone since she died? And that was six years ago."
"Six years?" Peeta asks, his hands rubbing soothing circles over her arms.
"Yeah."
"That's a long time."
"I know. It feels like she's only been gone a day."
"The pain – it still hurts, doesn't it?"
"When does it go away?" Katniss muses. "I asked my Uncle Haymitch once. His wife died on their honeymoon. He told me that it never goes away. You just learn to deal with it."
"My Dad said that exact same thing at Rye's funeral."
"I wish things were different. I wish I was the one to be thrown from that ride."
Katniss is taken by surprise when Peeta sits upright with a jolt, pushing her backwards and holding her at arm's length, staring at her with an intensity she's never felt before.
"Don't you ever say anything like that again, okay?" he says, shaking her slightly. "I know it's difficult to move on. I know what it's like. But you have people who care about you, okay?"
"Like who?"
"Like me."
"Oh."
"Alright then… I know I'm practically a stranger, but I want to get to know you, Katniss. Would you let me do that?"
The look on his face is filled with such a delicate type of nervousness that she can't say no. Whether it's the alcohol loosening her mind or the desire deep down to have someone to love and be loved in return making an appearance, she doesn't know. She just knows that Peeta isn't going to hurt her. Not now. Not now that they've told each other about their long lost siblings on what most would call a first date. She squares her shoulders and moves back to be against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"Yes. I'll allow it."
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