Hands On The Bible
Hermione listened to the clock slowly tick time by as it echoed through the flat. She had read the same sentence at least thirty times, yet failed to comprehend it. Her once long nails were now jagged sore stubs, from the nervous tick she had abandoned long ago. All this anxiety was caused by the two thoughts occupying her mind; Draco returning home, and the life they had created inside her womb.
Contrasting emotions ripped at her gut.
Shock. Relief.
Regret. Desire.
Guilt. Pride.
Part of her was excited at the prospect of starting a family with the man she loved entirely. The pretty fantasy had already begun to spin itself into her heart. Yet, logically, she realized how absurd it was. Their relationship was still new. Only a year into it, and they had only really begun to settle into the comfort of it. They were not married, and neither had even mentioned the institution as a possibility. Both were struggling with finances. Draco's mother had disinherited him when he turned coat for the light. Therefore he had to take a menial job of bookkeeping for Flourish and Blotts while he trained nights for his Aurorship. Hermione was attending classes to get her teaching degree and only managed to take care of herself through a part time job as a waitress at The Dizzy Snitch, a quidditch bar.
She smiled a bit, remembering how that degrading job had led to finding Draco. Perhaps he had found her. Either way they had found themselves in love.
Yet she wondered how strong it actually was. Strong enough to survive the hardships of a baby? Perhaps not. They did in fact spend the majority of their time debating, discussing, and bickering heatedly until they physically began to spar. No, he never hit her, just showed her the beauty of a good grudge fuck. Oft times she wondered if that was all the base of their relationship was…challenging verbal sparring and great sex. If that were the case, then no, their relationship was not strong enough to carry on to parental duties.
The door opened and she heard him begin his stomping up the steps. Hermione wanted to grin pleasantly, but could only bit her lip as she saw his champagne mop ascend. He tossed his robe onto the banister and began to loosen his tie as he crossed to her. He looked tired and annoyed.
Brilliant.
Draco crossed to her form that was curled into her favorite chair. One he had managed to nip from the manor. One he too adored. As he dropped a kiss on her forehead, he noticed the tension that surrounded her. "I'm glad to be home, pet." He whispered and sank his frame into the ottoman. She shifted wordlessly as he leaned forward to rest his head in her lap. "What did you do today?"
"At break, I met up with Ginny for tea." She lovingly ran her hands deeply up and down his back, to help resolve his stresses of his workload.
"How is Freckles getting along these days?" Truth was, she was the only friend of Hermione's that he liked. He let his hands grip her hips as he winced at the wonderful administrations to his shoulders. He loved that she offered such sweet relief without his asking. She had always taken fantastic care of him in little insignificant ways that nobody but he noticed.
"Pregnant."
He scoffed. "How irresponsible. Potter should have taken more care, he knows that she has the breeding gene of a rabbit." He gave her a quick kiss before rising completely. "Besides, the last thing those two need is to procreate. Potter is always gone, and Freckles is only a year into her education at University."
He poured himself a glass of milk and stood in front of the refrigerator as he down the contents.
Hermione had followed him and leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. Her nerves were itching, and it took all her Gryffindor courage to proceed with the conversation. Yet, she needed to know. "So you don't think it's a blessing? I think they are quite in love and are willing to sacrifice and compromise to make it work out for the new addition."
He smirked at her endearingly, "Look, Poppet, I never doubted that. It's their way, but, yes…" he shrugged nonchalantly and refilled his glass. "I do not see it as a blessing, only a mistake." He used his foot to close the door. "Do you want to go down to the Leaky and have dinner?"
"Uh, sure. I don't feel like cooking anyway." She said with a small smile. "I'm happy for them, Draco. I think a baby is a sensational prospect for them. I bet Harry will change his work itinerary to stay home more often."
Draco considered this and realized Hermione was right, but he still thought the idea was ridiculous. "No doubt. After all Freckles has her mum to help her out while Potter is away, and he is financially stable to take care of them both. " He set his half empty glass of milk on the counter and gathered her in his arms. "At least we aren't in that situation." He shot a laugh. "We'd really be in the poorhouse then. I couldn't stand to have a child of mine brought into a world where he'd be underprivileged like the Weasleys."
She giggled and kissed him deeply to hide her new sorrow and panic. "I agree our child should positively be born into the riches he deserves. Now hurry and change, I'm starved."
Little did they both realize, they had just agreed that children were something that they wanted with one another. Futuristically, of course.
A week later, she was just arriving home from her shift. It was really late. Hermione's feet hurt desperately and she still had a three foot essay to quill before she could sleep. One more year of this and she could chuck that nasty job. The flat was dark and she guessed that Draco had retired long ago, so she was stepping lightly. He had to work early and needed his rest.
She counted her steps to the desk that faced the window and lit the dim lamp with a wave of her hand. As she turned to find her book bag, she squeaked and involuntarily crashed unceremoniously onto the desktop. "Merlin, Draco, you scared the piss out of me!" Her hand flew to her heaving chest, "Why on earth are you doing sitting in the dark?"
"Waiting for you." He hissed lowly.
Suddenly Hermione was afraid. More afraid of him than she had ever feared anything since she was a child. He bore an icy glare and a homicidal sneer. "You…you, knew I'd be in late, d-darling." It was then she noticed the empty jug of rotgut whiskey found only in the dark places of Knockturn Alley, underneath it was a disheveled copy of the Daily Prophet.
"I know what you did." He stood and slowly advanced upon her. "A pretty baby, never born." he rasped and gripped her shoulders.
She stared at him in disbelief. And then she realized that she must have been seen by a photographer for the prophet. Tears of shame burned her eyes. "Oh, Draco, I-I did not…"
"YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT?" He screamed into her face, his released her roughly. "They saw you! That damn Rita Skeeter really has it out for you…they saw you leave that old bat's home. " He wanted to hurt her. To shame her for the pain that she had scored on his heart. However he knew he would be just as low as she was.
"But…I thought…" She wanted to run to him, beg forgiveness on her knees and cling to his trousers as the pathetic bint she realized she was. But she barely had the nerve to grip the desk she was resting upon.
"You could have told me, Granger. You could have let me be a part of that blasted decision!" He spun on her and she cowered a bit. "It was my baby too." And that's when his tears began to fall.
"And what would you have had me do, Draco? Surely you wouldn't have wanted to keep it. You said so yourself." Her voice was barely above a whisper.
His eyes darkened as he squinted incredulously at her, "I would have taken responsibility for my actions. I wanted it, Hermione. I wanted a family with you. Obviously, I'm a fool for believing that you wanted that dream too."
Her mouth dropped and finally she left the desk, "I did want that dream, so desperately, but you shot that down with those arrogant words you said about Ginny and Harry's 'Mistake'! How could I have thought you'd welcome a baby after hearing you say that?" She marched forward. "I am so sorry, I just thought it would be better if you didn't know. I thought that if you knew, you'd leave me."
He steadied his jaw, his wet cheeks were rosy from the hurt and liquor. "Well you are right about that. I know now, and I am leaving you. I can't ever trust you again, and now you'll have to face it all on your own."
She could not move. She could not cry. The emptiness she had been feeling since that dark night grew tenfold. Everything that she loved, everything she had created she had smashed into the pavement. She made this mess, and now it was all crawling back to torture her further.
He moved to grab his trunk, "Everybody knows what you did Hermione. So don't try to pretend that you don't know the reason for the repent that you seek, and do not be surprised when nobody gives you compassion. " Draco took one last look at the witch he had come to adore wholly, only it was not her. It was a shell of her. Something he did not know or had any desire to learn. With that he disapparated away from all that she had taken from him.
A/N: I know this is complete rubbish, but I had to get it out. It was something that was ticking about in my head and I thought It would be best to write it out. So please review and let me know how I could possibly make it better. Oh and if you like it, well then I adore you. Everything belongs to JKR and the song that inspired this is called Hands On The Bible by Local H. I don't think I did the song any justice.