A/N: Alright shipmates, this one was fun! I've been doing some angsty stuff in my main fic, and this was a nice break! A little less than a week ago, someone on the Captain Swan tag requested someone write a oneshot to Sweater Song by Hedley. Now, my being the naive little shipper I am, searched the song- knowing full well it would attack me with feels- and fell in love with it. So then I couldn't stop thinking about all the possibilities with this song and Killian&Emma, so I wrote her the oneshot! If you like it, feel free to send a shout out her way on tumblr, (monkeychronicles1010) I'm sure she'd be glad to know people liked the story inspired by her post! Anyway, I highly recommend listening to the song at least before reading this, because it's perfect. Tell me what you think!
She said baby don't leave
Be home, stay close, be close to me
Boy don't be gone, boy don't be gone
He said baby you know
I gotta run I gotta go
I won't be long, girl I won't be long
She said boy don't you flirt
And baby please just don't get hurt
And if you feel alone then here take my shirt
He said forever girl
I know you hate the weather girl
So maybe you should hold onto my sweater girl
Hook and Emma walked the streets back to her apartment in comfortable silence. Emma really hadn't known what to expect out of tonight after seeing Hook in the lone pub in town, but she hadn't expected this.
He seemed to be on his best behavior- which, in Emma's opinion, wasn't really saying much; he had two settings, captain innuendo and mildly obnoxious. They'd both been drinking alone, and of course Hook had taken that as an invitation to join her. She was pensive about the situation at first, but he seemed genuinely happy for once and she felt like one of them ought to be. She'd had a rough day at work- mainly cleaning up after Hook's incompetence when it came to the things in this realm; he'd managed to scratch up a car, break a TV in a store, and rip apart a pair of pants while in a dressing room. She was somewhat pleased to see that after all of that, he still wore his traditional leather and trademark smile. She found it increasingly difficult to be upset with him for being the cause of her hectic day on account of the whiskey coursing through her veins- not because of his charm, she told herself. She only had a buzz, but it allowed her to converse with him without the usual irritation being there. She learned quite a few new things actually about him. They'd swapped stories of their past, innocent at first such as his first encounter with pirates and when she had been stupid enough to get wasted at a party and almost got a tattoo of a star- where, she wouldn't say, sending Killian's head spinning. Eventually the confessions had morphed into tales of heartache and loss, stories of Killian's parents dying when he was only a bit younger than Henry and how Emma shifted from foster home to foster home because no one could handle her. They both evaded the question they truly wanted to know- what made each of them so broken in the same way, losing a loved one and closing yourself off to the possibility of happiness. When Emma said she needed to get home, Hook rose with her, asking if he could walk her home. "It's late, lass. You've had a bit to drink, I'm merely concerned for your safety," he'd said with an innocent smile. She knew it was complete crap, but for some reason didn't mind him tagging along.
When they walked outside, they were struck with just how cold it had become while they were inside. It must have dropped a good ten degrees at least. Emma cursed herself for leaving her sweater at home, thinking she wouldn't need it on account of the gorgeous weather when she had left the house. Without a word, Hook shrugged out of his leather jacket and motioned for her to stick her arms through. "Hook, no I'm fine really. It's okay, you'll get cold," she stated. His eyes held a hint of sadness she started noticing the moment she mentioned leaving, but it was a little stronger now despite the smirk masking his face.
"Love, take it. Don't want the sheriff catching a cold, now do we?"
"Hook-"
"Emma," he cut her off. "Please, let me do this for you. I don't need it," he continued. After a brief pause, as if adding it as an afterthought, he said, "I'm already quite hot." That smirk should be illegal, she thought. Emma rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated groan.
"Why do you do that? Make everything into an innuendo? You say something remotely sweet, and then you just ruin it!" She genuinely wanted to know. By now Hook was draping his jacket over her shoulders since she didn't seem to want to cooperate. His hand and hook stilled at her words, his fingers brushing over the nape of her neck.
"I don't know. I just do," he replied quietly. Emma turned around to face him, her eyes curious.
"Well…stop. I'd rather you just be yourself-"
"Emma, love, that is myself," he replied. He wasn't sure what she was getting at.
"No, it isn't. It's who you pretend to be, it's the person you hide behind." Emma had no idea where the words were coming from that were leaving her mouth, but she didn't necessarily regret saying them. She watched him carefully to gauge his reaction, though his eyes never broke contact with hers.
"I could say the same for you, lass," he answered. Emma swallowed and forced herself to look away from his eyes before she revealed too much.
"How do you do that?" she asked as she slipped her arms through his jacket and pulled it close, inadvertently breathing him in as she began to walk forward. It smelled like salt and rum, mixed with oak and cold winter air. When she looked back to him, the corner of his lips was turned up slightly, his gaze full of awe and amusement. Emma felt her cheeks turn pink and she looked away, swiping her hair from behind her ear to hide the color of her face. She heard a soft chuckle from the pirate who was now walking to catch up, and desperately tried to ignore the way it resonated within her. It's just the whiskey talking Emma, she told herself.
"Do what, love?" Emma was pulled from her wandering thoughts and brought back to the question she'd asked.
"See me…no one's ever looked at me and just…I don't know- forget it." She felt like an idiot, the alcohol and his scent clouding her train of thought.
"Hey, Emma-" he said, pulled her arm back to look at her. "I don't know, why nobody's ever seen you the way I do. Honestly, lass, you're not that great at hiding it- the pain you've endured. At least not around me," he answered. Emma felt tears sting her eyes and tried to look away. His eyes held her though, empathy for her past laying on his face for her to see. This was getting a little weird for Emma; she'd never had a complete 180 change in opinion on someone based on one night, yet here she was- finding herself wanting to let him in even more than she already had. Something about his look told her he knew what she was going through, and she realized he had been harboring his own pain for hundreds of years- really, she had it easy compared to him.
"I don't know what to say…" Emma said honestly. He nodded his head and told her it was okay, that she didn't need to tell him her life story- after all, he hadn't.
So here they were, an arm's length away, walking in somewhat comfortable silence up to her building. Once at the door of the building it seemed some mutual agreement had formed that he'd continue the walk to her home, because after opening the door for her he continued up the steps towards the apartment. When they reached it, Emma pulled out her key, unlocked the door, and turned to him. "Goodnight, Emma," he said with a soft kiss on her cheek. Emma was somewhat stunned; not only had he not asked to come in but he gave her a kiss on the cheek, being a complete gentleman. She could still feel his scruff on her jaw, his lips on her skin, and it drove her to call after him as he reached the end of her hall.
"Do you want come in for coffee or something?" she asked lamely. At least she knew he liked coffee; and liked it black none the less which Emma found both strange and bizarrely endearing. He turned and walked towards her with a smile not quite touching his eyes.
"Aye, I'll take a coffee," he said. The two walked into her apartment together, and Emma was glad to know her parents were staying at the inn tonight and Henry was at Regina's. She didn't need them passing judgment on her bringing a pirate home, regardless of her… innocent intentions. "Nice place you got here," he stated as he strode around her kitchen and living room, taking it all in, his tone caught between preoccupied and sad. She smiled at him, but he only looked away. Emma began to worry- what had gone wrong?
"Hook, are you okay?" she asked cautiously. He swallowed and tucked his chin to his chest before looking to her with another fake smile.
"Yes." Emma resisted the urge to laugh, his lie about as obvious as could be.
"Hook-"
"I'm fine," he said.
"No, Hook-"
"Emma, please! Just leave it alright?" he shouted. Emma took a step back as she searched his face for answers.
"Killian," she whispered. His shoulders slumped as his eyes fell shut. Pleased with his reaction to his name, she used it again. "Please, just talk to me, Killian."
A small laugh came from him, his voice a little lighter. "Gods, I never thought I'd crave hearing that name again." His gaze lifted to meet Emma's concerned one, and he smiled. "Love, I think we both know that I can't live like this- thirsting for revenge. As long as he's alive I can't sleep. I need it over with, so I can move on." With you, he thought.
Emma took a step towards him, shaking her head. "No, it's too dangerous-"
"I don't care; I can't let it run me anymore. It's exhausting," he whispered. Emma instantly feared for him, knowing there wouldn't be a single advantage he'd have against Rumplestiltskin. He couldn't win.
"Please, don't do this. Stay- just, forget about him," she begged. Yesterday, if he'd told her he was going to go after Gold she would have rolled her eyes and sought out the pawnbroker to warn him. Tonight, however, all she could think of was that she might never see him again. After all the talks they'd had, after the things she'd told him, after she'd finally let herself trust him, she might never see this man again.
"Gods, I wish I could. But I can't Emma. Not even for you." He didn't want to leave her, not when what had been building between the two of them was finally coming to the surface. But he knew he couldn't give her all of his heart until he got the closure he'd been seeking for 300 years. "I'm so sorry."
"He's going to kill you, you know. You don't stand a chance, he's going to- he's," Emma said before stopping herself, feeling tears tug at her eyes. She didn't quite understand at what point she'd gone from hating Hook to falling for Killian but she couldn't go back now, and she couldn't just let him go on a suicide mission. Killian closed the gap, pulling her to his chest and holding her there. Her arms wrapped around him and they stood there for a long moment.
"Do you trust me, Emma?" he asked. She turned her head and looked up so she could look into his eyes.
"Yes."
"Then trust that I'll be back. This isn't goodbye, it's I'll see you soon."
"But you don't know that! I can't just let you go get yourself killed, Killian! I won't stand by and let you do this." She refused to let go of yet another person. The last time she'd trusted a man, he'd died in her arms. She wasn't about to let this one leave her to face his doom.
"I won't get myself killed! Do you want to know why?" he asked, his stare piercing hers.
"Why?" she asked, her voice small.
"Because I have something to live for, now," he said. Emma took a deep breath, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. No one had ever talked to her like this, ever referred to her as their reason for living. "Emma, if it helps," he started, his arms shifting so he could skim his fingers and hook over the leather jacket she still wore. "You can keep the jacket. I'll be back soon enough for it," he finished with a smile. Emma laughed slightly and shook her head, marveling at how far they'd come in the past 12 hours. "Deal?" he asked.
"Deal," she responded, holding out her left hand. He took it in his and held it for a moment before giving her one last hug and pulling away towards the door. "See you soon?" Her voice was a little unsure still.
"I'll see you soon."
Killian was cursing himself for being the stupidest man alive right now. He had Emma practically begging him to kiss her and what does he do? Leaves. He just leaves. He ran his hand through his hair and walked the final distance to Gold's shop, the thought of Emma in his jacket waiting for him driving him forward. He wouldn't lose this battle. It wasn't an option, not when he finally had something to get home to.
Home.
He had a home now. He smiled to himself, almost giddy with the thought of someone being home to him again.
The sight of the croc wiped the smile from his face as he remembered why he was out in the first place. He waited until the man was in the alley and cornered him, stalking him like a lion to his prey. Rumple turned at the sound of footsteps and his eyes widened slightly. Before he could say anything Killian kicked him hard in the chest, never slowing from his brisk walk. The man toppled over, making Killian think this would be easier than he thought. He placed his foot on the man's abdomen, and he looked up at Hook before sending him flying backwards with magic. Hook slammed into the wall hard but it didn't hinder his resolve. He charged again, this time feeling as though he was being choked though Rumple's hands were still at his sides. "Hook, did you really think it'd be that easy?" he asked as he circled him, his invisible grip growing tighter. Killian's air supply was dwindling quickly and he closed his eyes, focusing on the one thing keeping him from welcoming death. Emma.
"Why wouldn't it be? You've nothing to live for- why don't you give up now, save yourself the trouble of living your sad excuse for a life?" Hook said, not holding back. He was willing to use the one thing that now separated the two. He had something to live for, the man in front of him didn't. Ever since Belle crossed the town line, he'd been particularly depressed yet driven to find his son. Then, when Bae returned- much to Killian's dismay, especially considering his connection to Emma- Rumple just spiraled downwards. His son was glad he'd survived Killian's previous attempt to kill him, however that was as far as his care went. He didn't want anything to do with his father. So there Rumple was, all alone with nothing to keep him going. Why wouldn't he just give up?
"And you do?" the man countered. Killian smiled, a difficult task considering the pressure around his throat was still building.
"Aye, I do." Rumple released his grip, Killian stumbling a bit but regaining his balance quickly. "Admit it, crocodile. You want me to kill you," he said as he lunged forward, his hook slicing a cut along his arm as he tried to get a hold on him. The old man recoiled, the light in his eyes leaving him slowly as Killian spoke. "You've lost everything. You're worse off than me- now that's saying something," Killian taunted. He charged once more, this time connecting with the man's side and sending him down on his knees. Killian used his hook to lift the man's chin, like many years ago when Rumple had used Killian's own sword to nearly cut his throat in an ally much like this. Rumple looked up to him, not even fighting anymore. "Ah, see that's better. Now you're right where you belong. Coward," he spat.
Rumplestiltskin closed his eyes and whispered, "Just do it, Hook. Kill me." Killian smirked, finally getting what he wanted after hundreds of years. He reminded himself of why he was doing this, and the smirk left his face. He was doing this for Milah. He was always going to do this for her. But was that really fair now? He had Emma, he finally had Emma, and he left her to carry out revenge for another woman. For whatever reason, Emma saw something good in him still, and here he was proving her wrong. Did he really want to start a relationship with her like this- killing her son's grandfather? He took a step back, all these thoughts beginning to consume him. His brows knit together and he tried to think through the jumbled mess quickly.
He didn't want to risk Emma over this. He wouldn't lose her for this. She made him better, something he couldn't say about anyone else- not even Milah. Emma made him the man he wished he was. This, this wasn't that man. "No," he said, his voice strong and unwavering.
"What?" Rumple asked, completely taken aback.
"No, I won't kill you. But not because I want you to live with yourself, with what you've done. I won't do it because that's not who I am anymore, and you aren't worth becoming the monster I was again." Killian began to walk away before he could change his mind, and Rumplestiltskin called after him.
"It's Emma, isn't it, your reason for living? You really think this will make her want you- because you spared me? Are you forgetting you already poisoned me? Do you think she'll forget that?"
"It doesn't matter what I think. It matters what she thinks, and for whatever reason she's decided I'm worth her time. So I'm not giving her any reason to change her mind," he said, not entirely sure why he was explaining himself. It felt odd, he felt odd. Something was different about him. Under normal circumstances he'd have never explained himself to this man, but he just couldn't help but telling someone that this beautiful, amazing woman was waiting for him to return to her. He wasn't the same man he was when he met her in the enchanted forest, but he didn't mind. He was better now. He had hope now. He was slowly repairing the damage of 300 years of heartache over Milah. He didn't feel like Captain Hook. He felt like Killian Jones. The man he once was, the good man he once was. "Find another way to escape your pain, crocodile," he said with a small smile, before turning and starting the walk home.
Emma tucked her legs under her on the couch and took a hesitant sip from her hot chocolate. She pulled the leather closer to her and eyed the door. She was really questioning her judgment at this point- a thief, then her boss (for lack of a better term for a sheriff to deputy), now a pirate? Really, she shouldn't be allowed to date.
Killian's scent overwhelmed her, and she turned her head to look out the window. She wondered what he was doing, if he'd found Gold yet. She refused to let herself think of what was happening if he already had found the man, and instead focused on the fact that he promised he'd be back. She wondered absent mindedly if she'd wake up in the morning feeling different towards Killian than she did right now. She couldn't imagine her crazy life without him anymore- really she hadn't been able to imagine life without him ever since they pulled the rumble off him that first day. He'd changed so much in her life, and she wouldn't change any of it for the world. She was better with him- she was finally allowing herself to open up again. She just hoped he wasn't being stupid in going after Gold; she didn't want to lose him now.
She heard a soft knock at the door and she jumped up, placing her mug on the table. She didn't hesitate when she reached the door, she simply threw it open in hopes it was her pirate.
"'Ello, love," he said with a smile. She laughed a little and shook her head, trying to figure out how he'd made it out alive. Finally, it occurred to her that he was there, really there, in her doorway. She wrapped her arms around him and felt his own arms encircle her, walking her backwards until they were inside. He kicked the door shut with his leg and looked at her, his eyes piercing. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and she was his.
"Thank God you're okay," she whispered, meeting his gaze. Her cheeks turned a little pink at his intensity. He laughed and kissed the top of her head before responding.
"I told you'd I'd be back, lass. Couldn't let you keep my jacket now could I?" he asked with a smirk, earning his a light punch as Emma sauntered off towards the kitchen to get him some coffee.
"Please, we both know I look way better in it than you," she teased, knowing full well it was a complete lie. Leather was entirely too well suited for that man, it shouldn't be allowed for him to wear it for the sake of the sanity of every woman alive.
He chuckled and looked to her, marveling in the easy banter they always had. "Well I won't argue that," he stated, getting a hefty eye roll from Emma. She came back and handed him a mug and he took it gratefully. He was worn down from his day but determined to stay up as late she did.
"Killian," she said softly. A smile consumed his features and it was all he could do to not kiss her in that moment. He'd never heard his name spoken so beautifully before, and the fact that it was her lips his name was leaving made it all the better. "What happened?" she continued. With a sigh, he explained his encounter with Rumplestiltskin. "Why did you let him live?" she asked.
He smiled as his gaze shifted from her eye to her lips, and back. "Because I don't want to be that man anymore. I want to be better than that. Better for you," he whispered, almost reverently. Emma felt tears fill her eyes as she listened to him, completely amazed that she'd been so close to not going to the pub that day, that she almost didn't get to see this side of him. Her eyes flickered to his lips as he moved closer to her. Their bodies were nearly touching, his hot breath barely touching her face. Her eyes fluttered closed as his fingers tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, then traveling down her jaw, dancing along her skin and setting fire to every inch he touched. A sigh left Emma's lips, her eyes still closed- refusing to look at him because she knew she would just close the distance, and this seemed like a better way to go. His lips met her forehead, then the edge of her jaw, skimming along it until he neared her lips. Emma wasn't sure if she would be able to stand much longer, her knees staring to give out in anticipation of his kiss. Her breathing came in shallow breaths as his lips trailed along her skin, and she wished she could just kiss him already- though she couldn't move. His hand wound around her curls, and his left hand slipped under his coat and wrapped around her waist, sending shivers up Emma's spine when the cool hook connected with a gap of skin between her pants and shirt. Killian kissed the corner of her lips and whispered her name, causing Emma to open her eyes. She could see the desire there, and assumed a mirroring look remained in her own eyes. His lips turned up into a slight smirk as he brushed his nose against hers, relishing in how she reacted.
"God, Killian," she whispered, wondering how much longer he was going to drag this out. At the sound of his name, Killian snapped and finally gave in, his lips crashing down on hers. Emma's hands came up, not sure where to go, but settling on his strong chest and then slowly moving up to circle his neck. To think she'd waited this long to kiss him…Emma immediately regretted not kissing him sooner, as in on the beanstalk sooner. They always had chemistry, sure, but this was amazing. It wasn't just the kiss that was amazing either- it was the way his lips moved with hers, how his hand gently pushed his jacket off her shoulders and skimmed along her back just so, the way she could feel him smile against her lips when she sighed. He tightened his arms around her waist, pulling her closer against him. Both were finding it hard to think and breath, knowing they needed air but refusing to stop. His tongue traced her lips, and she parted her lips to allow him to deepen their kiss. Instantly it became more intense, and Emma's fingers scraped through his hair, earning a low groan from Killian. Reluctantly, Emma pulled back for air, her lungs burning. Killian pressed his forehead against hers as they regained their breath, his eyes conveying all the things he was already feeling but afraid to say. Emma's hands slid down his shoulders to rest on his chest, and she smiled when she felt his heart racing as fast as hers. "I knew you couldn't resist me for long; it was all the charming comments wasn't it?" he teased, a smirk playing at his lips. Emma laughed, rolling her eyes.
"Your charm has no effect on me," she lied, staring straight into his eyes, daring him to call her out. His smirk grew wider, and he brushed his lips over hers just barely, Emma's eyes falling shut.
"Is that so, darling?" He kissed the corner of her lip again, nearly driving her mad. His eyes met hers, clashing like the vibrant colors of the sea, and he smirked, wetting his lower lip knowing his tongue would gently trace her lips. "I thought you rather liked my charm, or should I just go?" he asked with wide eyes, pretending he was serious.
She rolled her eyes and said, "Over my dead body." He chuckled and moved his hand to her cheek, tracing her soft skin lightly. Emma fought the goose bumps threatening to appear as she added in a more serious tone, "Don't you ever leave me like that again, Killian." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, surprising both herself and the man holding her with just how inconceivable her life was without him in it. Killian didn't know how he'd ended up here, with her in his arms, but he thanked the Gods above for it. He never thought he'd care for someone so deeply after Milah; but now, with Emma, he realized he didn't care nearly as deeply for Milah as he'd thought- not if how he was feeling towards Emma was any indication. He always looked down on those who claimed in love at first sight, but even he couldn't deny the connection, the longing, the pull, towards Emma when he first looked up at her. Perhaps this was why he had gone through all he had, why she had to endure so much. Everything led to right here, right now, with each other.
"Never," he breathed, before sealing his promise with a kiss, hoping she could feel all he wished he could say. When they broke for air, he looked into her eyes and knew- he needed to tell her, she deserved to know. "You are everything to me, Emma. You, are my second chance. And as long as I live, you will always have someone to call yours; even if I live a thousand lifetimes, your name will always be the name on my lips." A stray tear slipped from Emma's eyes and he wiped it away with a kiss, pressing his forehead against hers. He hadn't felt this happy in hundreds of years, and he relished the thought of every day being full of it from now on. He didn't need her to say anything- he knew it was too soon for her- but now she knew that he wasn't going anywhere, not again, and that he'd be there with open arms when she was ready.
The two moved to the couch, hand in hand, and curled up next to each other. They talked for hours about anything and everything, revealing themselves in ways they never had before. And for the first time, Emma felt free. She knew, by the end of the night, that she was hopelessly falling for the pirate. And as dawn broke over the clouds and she woke with her head on his chest, she knew- he was her forever, her happily ever after, her second chance at love- just as she was his.
A/N: so how'd you like it? It's only my second oneshot ever, but it's kind of fun just writing a bit of fluff here and there :) Reviews are always welcomed!
