Title : Nightmare and reflection
Author : DiBee
Summary : Sam wakes up in the middle of the night as another nightmare has gotten to her, but she is not on her own, he knows how it's like, too. OS Jarter
Rating : K+
Disclaimer : Nothing is mine, I don't earn anything from it either.
Spoilers : No season in particular. The Jarter in itself can be considered as Au, but placed somewhere when both of them are alive, on Earth, and Pete is nowhere to be found.
Author's note : English is not my first language, I've been extra-careful for any mistake that I could have missed, but they should be minor if there is any left ;)
She woke up, gasping for air. Her nightmare had been more vivid than they usually were. She could nearly still smell blood and gun powder in the air. Her sitting up quickly seemed to have awoken the man on her side, who looked up at her hesitantly. This nightmare had really gotten to her, that he could tell simply from her lost glance at the semi-lighted room. The sun was just beginning to rise and was playing with her hair, but she seemed focused on regaining control. He could see her vaguely shaking and he sat up as well, embracing her in an attempt to help her calm down.
"Hey, whatever you've dreamed off, it's far gone now."
He had kept his voice down, but she had still jumped at the sound of his voice. After a few minutes, he sensed her relax, and she opened her mouth, as if about to speak, but no word was getting out.
"Shh, don't speak, it's ok." This time, she seemed to positively react to his voice, curling in his arms, steadying her breath. He nearly missed her whisper in an attempt to make sure her cardiac rate was also back to normal.
"It was horrible, Jack." She begun. Even though she was not the fearless type -sometimes, when they were alone together, they would exchange thoughts on their worst fear, on the field or whatever, but that was different-, hearing so much fear in her voice made him shiver. Whatever she had seen must have really been bad.
"Have you ever thought back of all this. The people we had to kill, the blood on our hands even for the greater's good. I'm not talking symbiots or parasites here, but the human, the hosts, or the simply humans. Do they never haunt you?" She had kept her glance somewhere way beyond their current position until her last sentence, her last question, when her eyes had met his. He clenched his teeth. Of course he had. But he knew for sure his weren't the same nightmare as she had. Once in a while, or maybe twice, he would have that kind of dream, with blood everywhere and no one left but him. But somewhere, on the wrong side of the gun, there always would be his son's face, sometimes older than he was when he had died, but it didn't make things any better.
He simply nodded. There was no way he could tell her all this as simply as he thought it. She was already badly shaken up, that would probably only make it worse. As he thought she was about to reply, she looked at him in the eye again, and he felt like she understood. He had already mentioned Charlie, several times, and only when he felt like he could deal with the memory, and she had never pushed him into revealing anything. She would just listen, and support him when needed. And God knows he needed her to. But now, she was the one in need for support.
"I know, Sam. But there's hardly anything we can do. We defend our values, our freedom. And we will until someone gets more powerful than us and overpower us. But that time hasn't come yet." The sound of his own voice felt estranged, yet he recognized himself in his own words. Drawing herself even closer to him, she shyly nodded as he added a few more words.
"I'll be here for you, Sam."
He kissed the top of her head, and lied down again, his arms still around her waist a clear invitation to go back to sleep. They had to get up early on the morning, and -more importantly- unnoticed. Their relationship was a perpetual hazard, but the simple moment they just had shared had proven once more that it was worth the trouble they could get in.