Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth or the Goblin King. He just pops into my life randomly, ties me down and tortures me with plot bunnies until I promise to write them down.

Warning: Some language

Author's Note: Just a silly self-challenge to see what I could churn out while my journalism students worked on a timed-writing exercise.

On Whether or Not it is Fair to Bog Students for Submitting Horrendous Papers

A quiet tapping fills the air, overlaying the low murmur of the students as they work on the computers in the back of the classroom. The partially open windows allow the crisp scent of early fall to seep into the room, tainted with apples, mulch and the faint scent of wood-smoke. It only takes a few minutes before the hum of student conversation dies, as the students settle down to work, knowing they have a tight deadline – the story is due by the end of class. As the room falls quiet barring the rhythmic clunking of the printer and the tap-tap-tapping of fingers against aging keyboards, the sound of drums and bagpipes drift through the windows, signaling that practice for the university color guard has begun.

Dr. M_ settles into the chair behind the podium, blue eyes peering over the top of her glasses as she surveys her students, before her gaze moves downward to the waiting stack of assignments. With an inward groan and audible sigh, she raises her infamous purple pen and goes back to scribbling comments on the truly horrible assignments. For intermediate journalism students and majors, you would think they would at least have a basic understanding of how to write a damn article, she thought bitterly. And those who had me for basic reporting really have no excuse!

Lost in correcting the many misuses of whether and weather; are/our/hour and their/they/there/they're, she doesn't notice anyone entering the classroom until a student pipes up from the back of the room, "Yo! Dr. King!"

Grumbling at being disturbed when clearly a class was in session, she looks up, irritation etched on her face as she prepares to sharply respond to the interloper. Upon seeing the intruder, her face falls in shock.

"You!" she mutters in disbelief, her eyes taking in the tall, lightly muscled personage of the Goblin King as he lounged against the white board, his face twisted in his characteristic smirk. The last time he showed himself, he had been dressed as any fan-girl would expect – tight pants, fancy shmancy flowing shirt, and boots (… oh those lovely, sexy, want to rub my cheek against them, boots.) Today however, he actually looked like he fit in on the campus, in jeans (Not too tight. More's the pity, she noted) and a white button down oxford shirt, with a tie in the university colors

"Yes… me. How many other Dr. King's do you know of on the E_ University campus?" he drawls, his mismatched eyes glinting mischievously.

"Are you kidding? They never let me out of Carroll Hall. I'm lucky if I know who the current university president is!" she snaps, her lips pursed as she looks at him. "Don't tell me, you teach Shakespeare, English or mythology, right?" Dr. M_ snarks as she turns from him and goes back to correcting yet another mis-attributed quote.

He gives a dark chuckle, moving closer to the podium as she glares at him over her glasses, trying to appear indifferent and perhaps a bit perturbed.

"No, no, no. Of course not," he laughs softly, purposefully mimicking his own false alarms. "How trite to suggest I might teach only those things. I'm on sabbatical from the history department, my specialty being European History and the Monarchy. I realize English and mythology are what many of the fan-girl writers like to suggest, however my skills are much, much more diverse," he purrs, drawing closer still to her, the sound of his voice sending shivers down her spine.

"Do do that," she growls, gesturing angrily at him with her purple pen. I wonder what he would do if I were to draw on that damnably pristine white shirt of his?

"Do what, my dear Kit?" he enquires smoothly, his voice light and teasing as he leans against the podium in front of her.

Raising an eyebrow, Dr. M_ peers over his shoulder, watching many of the girls (and a few of the guys) in her class now gazing at the Goblin King's ass. She herself could just envision the way the denim would glide over the muscular …. Ack! Bad Kit! You are a married woman with a three-month old! You should NOT be fantasizing about ogling the Goblin King's ass…particularly not during class!

He leans in closer, his pale eyes boring holes into hers. "You. Are blushing, Kit," he chuckles, the sound of that sultry rumble reaching out and teasing her senses.

She feels her face burn hotter as the feeling rapidly races to cover not only her face, but her chest, and on down into her very finger tips.

"Thinking naughty thoughts are we, my dear?" he asks, cocking his head as he looks at her.

"Back off fairy boy," she mutters darkly. "I don't have time for your crap today. I've got to finish marking these rotten papers. I don't suppose you'd bog the lot of them for me?" she asks hopefully.

The Goblin King just laughs, his eyes sparkling impishly at her request, "Hmm…something tells me that bogging students, no matter how badly they write, would be frowned upon by the current university administration."

Tapping her purple pen against her lip thoughtfully, she grins wickedly, "So we don't tell them. I'm sure one missing class of intermediate journalism students won't be noticed by the university."

Seeing him shake his head, she grumbles. "I don't suppose I could wish them away to you and get you to turn them into goblins?"

"Now, Kit," he silkily replied, "You never even found the courage to wish your little brother away to me when you were living in Inverness, and you really detested him at that time. Do you honestly expect me to believe you would wish away an entire class of self-absorbed, spoiled college students with an over-developed sense of entitlement?"

She sighs. "Perhaps not."

"That said, should you ever decide to wish away darling Rose to my care…." he teased.

"Oh hell no. You did not just suggest that, Goblin King! You come near my daughter and believe me your crystal balls will be all you'll be able to play with!"

Giving up on getting any more grading done while he was lounging in her classroom, Dr. M_ put her pen down, pale blue eyes watching him warily.

"So, if you aren't going to be useful and bog my students for me, why are you here, Jareth?" she mutters in exasperation.

Hearing her use his name, something she rarely did, he raised a sardonic eyebrow and grinned evilly at her, "You are causing me no end of trouble at home, my dear."

"Bullshit. I haven't taught the goblins any new songs or recipes in years and you haven't let me back into the kingdom since the ill-fated 'smore's incident' of 1996," she retorts, smiling sweetly at him.

"No dear, with Sarah. Apparently she is intrigued by some of your more recent work and is getting….inquisitive….and adventurous," he replies, pinching the bridge of his nose in apparent frustration.

Giggling she looks at him, attempting to look sweet and innocent and knowing that she is failing – not that she really cares.

"Why, I have no idea what you mean, my Liege," she purrs cheekily.

"You know perfectly well what I mean, dear Kit. Do kindly remember to show me in the right light, and I'll deal with Precious Sarah."

She shrugs. "Whatever. If that is all you wanted, you could've just sent me a dream. Speaking of which, I'm rather pissed at you. Ever since I started writing the fanfics that you keep popping into my head at random times, I've stopped dreaming…and I miss my dreams," she sighs, pausing to throw a sponge brick at a student who is clearly playing around on Facebook instead of working on their story, "OI! Andrew! Back to work!"

Seeing the foam brick hit the student in the back of the head, the Goblin King nods his approval, whispering conspiratorially, "Real bricks would be better motivators, Kit dear."

"True, but the lawsuits would be a pain in the ass, unless you are offering me sanctuary in the Goblin Kingdom," she quips, laughing.

"After the 'smores incident, you are lucky I'm even speaking to you at all, my dear," he drawled with a sly smile. "As to your lack of dreams, I will speak to Fionn and see if he will release them. The last I knew he was borrowing your dreams as inspiration for new ways to torture Janae."

Frowning she grumbles, "Figures he'd take them. Ahh…but I still love bad boys. Tell lovely Fionn that when he's finally through with Janae, I'd be more than willing to teach him a few new tricks."

Tsking, the Goblin King shakes his head and looks at her, a mischievous smirk on his face, "Whatever would your husband say."

"As long as I'm not having an affair with you, he'd probably be okay with it. As it is, he is jealous of you," she shrugs, with an impish grin.

The Goblin King moves toward the door as Dr. M_ laughs, "Give dear Sarah my love and tell her I still need to hear more about what happened before your Rocky Horror Picture Show date!"

As he drifts out the door, a crystal flies through the air and lands on the stack of ungraded papers, which vanish with a soft 'pop'.

Hmm…not as satisfying as bogging my students, but it is a good start.