A/N: I'm so feeling much better and inspired to write. I've been sick since before Labor Day and am now working to catch up on all my writing (especially A Year Without A Goblin King – I promise that one will be going up this weekend). This is a preview of a story that has been buzzing around my head for awhile. I can't promise it will be updated soon, but your reviews will help me decide if I should continue it. Thanks for reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Labyrinth or David Bowie. I do own Samantha Taylor and her thoughts.
The Blog of HisPreciousThing
September 21, 2011 – 8:32PM
I, Samantha Taylor, have a confession. I am completely and utterly obsessed with a movie that came out before I was even born. Ever heard of a little fantasy film called Labyrinth? Think David Bowie in a crazy, 80s pop star inspired wig and incredibly tight pants. Need I say more? Of course, it was also Jennifer Connolly's first film and Jim Henson's last. His son even did one of the voices. Oh, didn't I mention the puppets? Yes, technically it is a children's movie. I still think that Bowie in tight pants completely negates that little fact. Who can think of little goblins and crotchety dwarfs when that fine specimen of man comes on the screen?
For those of you that don't know about this most awesome movie, let me sum it up for you. Alright…there's this chick named Sarah who's really spoiled and bitchy. The only thing, in my opinion, that she's got going is her love for fairy tales. Anyway, Sarah has a baby brother named Toby. She's supposed to babysit the kid, but she's late and ends up throwing a tantrum and getting all pissed off at him 'cause he's crying. At this point in the movie, you're like, 'come on, he's a baby. What did you think babies do?' Sarah ends up wishing him away to the goblins, which are like the comic relief of the movie.
This is where the movie gets interesting. David Bowie comes swooping in the room – looking all badass in some tight leather armor and a cape. Of course, he's Jareth the Goblin King and he's there to issue Sarah a challenge. She can either take her dreams, in the form of a crystal ball that he keeps playing with throughout the movie, or she can run the labyrinth in thirteen hours to get him back. She tries to act all cool about solving his maze, like she does this kind of thing all the time. This is her second stupid decision, but it won't be her last. Why she doesn't just try and bargain with the man instead of being all bitchy, I don't know.
*SPOILER ALERT*
I'll spare you the details, but, suffice it to say she makes it through. The man again offers her a crystal of dreams and she turns him down…again. He asks her to, and I quote, "fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave." Now, at this point, I'm usually yelling, "take it." Does she follow my advice? Hell, no! She tells him he has no power over her and he sends her and Toby back to her house. Then she has a big party in her room with the occupants of the labyrinth and I'm like, 'wait, didn't she just get into a battle with half of these creatures and act all bitchy towards them?' Apparently, all is forgiven and forgotten. Jareth is left out in the cold to go find another girl to challenge.
If I haven't lost you yet, I'm sorry. I just can't do justice to what could possibly be the best movie of all time. Take my advice and rent it today. You won't be disappointed. Now, as I was saying, I'm obsessed with this movie. I know…duh! 'How obsessed?' you ask. Where do I start? I own like three copies of the movie and have every word memorized. I also own five different t-shirts with quotes from the movie that I wear constantly. I write fanfiction in my spare time (see the link on the sidebar to check out my stories), not to mention the hours I spend reading it. I have a tattoo of a crystal ball on my ankle with the words, "nothing is as it seems" written under it. I have a Jareth action figure (I sleep with it next to my pillow – don't judge me). I even have a few costumes for some cosplay that I do with some friends of mine. They are almost as obsessed as I am…almost.
I could keep going, but I think you get the idea. Now, I used to think I was just a little nutty (and maybe I am), but I was still normal. Recently, however, I've begun to…how shall I put this…wig out. Many people already think I'm crazy, but now I'm started to believe them. I know what you're thinking…come on, Samantha, get a grip and stop being such a drama queen. Just hear me out. What if I told you that I've seen Jareth walking around in my local park? No, I wasn't on anything. I actually saw the man walking around the park like any other bozo on a Saturday afternoon. See…now you think I'm crazy, too. I swear I saw the Goblin King. He looked just like Bowie and, at first, I thought it was him. Before I could say anything, he disappeared.
Am I crazy? At this point, I don't know. For now, I've got a math test to study for and a ton of reading to get done before school tomorrow. I'll write more when I can…until then…TTFN!