Disclaimer: I own nothing but this poem, and JK owns the rest.

AN NUMBER ONEEEEE!: Yes, maxfaith wrote a HPDM poem a long while ago and yes, I read it, but nothing can top that author's comedic brilliance. This is but poor old me converting something I normally do into fanfiction. Anyway, this is a slash poem (Jeez, how fruity can you get?), so if you don't like it, don't read it. Oh, and it's rated so high for a reason.

EDIT: Damn you Uploader for merging all my paragraphs together! ARGH! So, to combat this EVIL, I put stars between the paragraphs—feel free to ignore them. Believe me, it's for the best. There's nothing worse than looking at a large, never-ending block of text. Yuck!

&&&&&

It was past midnight and dark and gloomy,

And Potter sat in a room that was quite roomy.

The walls were empty and the floor was bare

And Potter sat on his ass in just underwear.

*

"Well, isn't this shit!" he said with a frown,

And then Potter pouted and looked moodily down.

There was dust in his hair that turned it gray

And Potter could barely see without light from day.

*

His glasses were gone and his nose was bent—

Blood spewed forth profusely and he had a great tent.

"Come out now, Draco, and give it a go!

I was to be back by ten and she might call Flo!"

*

"Oh, come off it, Harry," came from afar—

Draco stood in the doorway with a pink guitar.

"Look what I found while I was exploring!

Don't give me that look; you know Ginny's so boring.

*

She's in bed right now, probably snoring

So quit worrying, Love. You'll be back by morning."

Then he strummed the guitar, sounding awful

And, sauntering over, he fell with a topple.

*

Potter snickered and spread his legs with glee.

"Nice going there, Draco, now come serenade me."

Draco just scowled from his spot on the floor

And swung the guitar, but his aim'd always been poor.

*

Instead of Harry's head, he hit his hip

And Harry flew toward the door and out poked his tip.

They both gave a groan and then gave a shout

As Draco pounced to Harry and let his cock out.

*

He flipped him over and tore off his pants

And dove inside without any fancy romance.

They huffed and they puffed and both groaned aloud

Until they screamed, satisfied, and came on a cloud.

*

Now isn't this heaven? Harry did think,

It's a shame without violence it would no doubt stink.

(And if Ginny found out she'd need a shrink)

"I love you, my Draco," Harry said with aplomb.

"…you loved me, you'd drop her like a stink bomb."

*

Draco mumbled and grumbled with great flair,

And while he did so, he played with Harry's gray hair.

"You're dirty and grimy, dripping with blood…

Perhaps you should shower to remove all the mud?"

*

"If we did that, she'd never believe me;

She'd think I was out late with someone real sleazy."

Harry then smiled and grinned at his face,

Making poor Draco scowl and put him in his place.

*

Draco mumbled unintelligently

And continued to do so 'til morning, at three.

He made sure Harry suffered without sleep

And then muttered, "Forever your heart I will keep."

*

This made Harry fill the room with laughter,

"I have to go to work before Flo gets dafter.

Now, she's Head Auror and crazy, but boy,

What she'd do if she found I'm fucking a Malfoy"

*

"Do what you must, Potter; lie in reports,

But eventually they'll know I bought you those shorts."

Now Harry glared and spoke in a loud voice,

"You tell them that and you're gone—I won't have a choice.

*

You've been banned from all of Britain, Malfoy,

So don't play with me like I'm some lame kind of toy.

This is forbidden—I love you, Draco,

But no one can hear of this and I've got to go."

*

Draco stood still and stared at his Harry,

"Some day the world will know you're another fairy—

You'll be glared at and booed and I'll be there

And I'll tell the world about the romance we've shared.

*

I'll stand tall and proud to the left of you,

So don't you ever treat me like scum on your shoe!

(And don't glare at me, you know that you do!)

So, I was exiled for being a Death Eater?

You love me, and there's nothing that's sweeter!"

*

Here, Harry beamed, "How'd I get so lucky

To have someone like you to make me this happy?"

(This made Draco blush, "Don't be so sappy!)

Return to the Auror Department and next time?

Try not to pick a muggle apartment."

*

Harry just grinned, said "I love you" and left,

Leaving Draco all alone and feeling bereft.

He picked up the guitar, strummed it with care…

"I'll serenade you next time, Harry—this I swear."

&&&&&

AN #2: So, I said I was going to post something, and this wasn't it. Oops. Sorry if it seemed to drag on, but I wanted to add some semblance of a plot and background so it wouldn't all be badly-written smut. Reviews? Reviews are nice.