Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?
"Ash...you mean..."
She couldn't believe it. She didn't want. How could he, the boy she had grown so close to, have...it. The thing that haunted her every night.
She stared into the boys eyes. Those, big, brown, teary eyes. The eyes that have shown her so much kindness since the moment she'd met him. Those eyes that when she looked at them, made for forget. Only for a little while, of her baggage she carried so closely.
He took a deep breath, and gave a slow nod.
"Yeah," was the only word to come out of his mouth. It was the only thing that needed to.
There was a silence between them, as Ash broke her gaze, looking down at his glass. The lemonade within its contents had hardly been touched, since the subject had escaped from his lips.
She could tell that he had never intended to even talk about it with her. But it had slipped. She now knew what was probably his biggest secret. His baggage.
"And you?" he asked, suddenly looking up at her. The question took her by surprise. It shouldn't have surprised her too much, but she wasn't used to talking about the subject. She felt her eyes start to warm. Could she actually be crying about it?
She nodded, and felt her eyes start to water.
"I have it too."
Ash took in a deep breath, just trying to process the information he had learned. She was in a state of shock herself. Very few people knew about it. She never even told her family. She was too ashamed to.
"How did you...get it?" He asked her, his eyes back on the lemonade. "I mean..." he sighed, "I never would have thought you, of all people, would have-"
"AIDS?" she finished. It amazed her how little emotion she put into the word. To think, the very thing that was eventually going to kill her. No. It was going to kill both of them.
He nodded at her. She could tell he was dying to know how she came across the illness. On the other hand, she saw from his eyes that he was feeling guilty about asking her. It was very personal. Even if they were great friends, it wasn't something one usually asked. But, for some reason, she didn't care. Maybe she just needed to tell somebody. She gave him a soft smile, letting him know it was okay.
"A while ago, about two years after I met you, I got mixed up into-" she sighed. She had never told anybody this story before. "I had some friends that were into some bad things. Drugs, I mean," she explained, "these friends...they had some influence on me," she continued, regret layering her voice. "I mean, it was only a party, only, they had some...that, there. They offered it to me, and I knew it was bad, but I figured once wouldn't hurt! But..."
"You were addicted?" He asked, reluctantly. As if he was afraid to dig.
"Yeah," she said, "but I've been clean for a year now. I got myself clean ever since I learned that I-" She sighed, "I shared a needle with one of them, but I didn't know he had HIV." She took a deep breath, and gave a slow nod. "And you?"
"I wasn't on drugs," he said, then instantly, his eyes widened at the statement.
"Anabel, I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. You weren't the one who was an idiot, back then."
Ash sighed, and took a deep breath.
"I was dating a woman named Misty," he said, "Before she dated me, she dated a boy name Georgio, and he had it. She never knew, thought, and we ended up dating for nearly a year before either of us found out." He sighed, "As soon as we found out, we broke up. She couldn't stand the fact she had given me such a horrible thing. We're still friends, but-"
"I understand."
It became very silent, as the two friends stared into each other's eyes. Both of them were conflicted. Here they were, two good friends, learning things that they never would have dared to think about each other. Things they didn't want to think.
On the other hand, though. They felt a connection they had never felt before with each other. They were feeling a certain bond with each other, a connection neither had felt before.
There's only us
There's only this
Forget, regret, or life is yours to miss
"I...never told anybody this before," Anabel said, breaking the silence. Ash raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"You're the first I've ever told," She gave a small smile, "Not even my family knows. I've never known how to tell them. I mean, how do you tell your family that you got AIDS because you were doing heroin. I mean, even if I lied and said I got it from a guy, it's the equivalent of telling them I've had unprotected sex. I'm screwed either way!" Ash gave the same small smile.
"I get that." He said, "Telling my mom was the hardest thing I ever did."
Suddenly, Anabel gave out a small laugh, something Ash was not expecting. Anabel gave him a grin.
"I laugh, when I think of it," She said, "otherwise, I just might cry."
Ash smiled at the statement, but tears started to form in his eyes.
"Me too." He let out a laugh, "Funny thing. Both of us knowing we're going to die the same way."
It was their sad attempt to heal the wound.
"There is a bright side," Anabel reached her hands over the table, and grabbed Ash's hands. She felt their warmth. He didn't show the slightest indication that he was uncomfortable. In fact, he seemed to grip onto hers as well.
"What's the bright side?"
Anabel gave him a coy smile, as if she knew a secret he didn't. He couldn't help but blush under her gaze. He had never felt this kind of a connection with anybody. Not even Misty. Was this because they shared their stories?
"We have each other."
No other road
No other way
No day but today
Just a little idea that came to me, while listening to the soundtrack of RENT, and I just needed to get it out of my head. Not the best story in the world, but hey. AbilityShipping is AbilityShipping. Constructive criticism is welcome. I've never really done a one-shot before, so this is relativity new ground. Although, it was kind of fun!
Kimblee