To Stay, To Go, To Decide, To Love
Subtitled/Originally Titled: The Trouble With Never
Description: Lan/Maylu romance and personally there's just not enough of these. Based on Megaman NT Warrior. May be hints of Megaman/Roll as well. Anyhow, the gang's all 18, and Lan's thinking about going traveling, he's ever the adventurer. There's just one thing that's making him think twice. Or one person rather...
This song began as a songfic to Tim McGraw's The Trouble With Never, but I don't think the story really sticks to the lyrics that well, but the song inspires the fic so the lyrics are included underneath. I started out by trying to go with them, like in my other songfics, but I just couldn't, so oh well.
Dedication: Dunno yet...
Disclaimer: Standard, 'don't own it' disclaimer applies as always it does.
Special thanks to Britt, who borrowed me her CD, though I ended up finding mine soon as I got home.
"" Dialogue
'' Thoughts
(A/N- ) Author's note within the story.
Song lyrics[ ] Net stuff. This separates what is happening on the net.
One last note. Starts in Lan's P.O.V. then changes to author's for the rest of the fic. Break in P.O.V is signified by line of this:
To Stay, To Go, To Decide, To Love
Subtitled/Originally Titled: The Trouble With Never
I was still in debate mode, to go, to stay, to decide. That's the problem. "Something wrong, Lan?" I looked at my Navi, and shrugged.
"Nothing Megaman, just keep searching the net will ya?"
"Fine Lan, but whatever's worrying ya isn't going to go away unless you sort it out."
He went back to scanning the Internet, looking for travel guides, flights, the works. As of late my future plans had been to travel across the globe, spend a year abroad, then come back and take it easy. Mom says it's my father in me, I can't just stay in one place too long. I keep telling her I'm just going to get it out of my system, then I'll be able to settle back in DenTech. I don't think she believes me. I don't think I believe myself even. I know there's only a few things that could ever make me stay. A promise I made when I was younger, before I understood my own father's need to travel. I always said one day when I had a family I'd be there. I still plan to stick to that promise. And her. There's only one girl in the world that'll ever make me happy. And I don't think I can have her. I need to stop thinking about her; it all depends on that.
Maybe that's the truth behind this plan. Maybe I do just wanna get out of here, and away from her. As long as she's here and near me, I'll never be able leave. And I can't live for her, not if she ends up living for someone else.
"Megaman?" I sighed, relenting to the fact that I'd never figure it out on my own.
"Yeah, Lan?"
"We doin the right thing?" I shook my head at his look of confusion. "By leaving, I mean."
"Dunno. Member, it's not my choice to make, and whatever you decide's what I'll go with."
"You're not helping pal." Megaman looked at me with sympathy. I don't think he knew what the object of my doubts was, and his next remarks definitely proved that.
"I'm no good at advice like this Lan, you know it. Tell ya what, I'll email Roll and see if Maylu'll meet you somewhere. This really is her area of expertise. Be right back!"
"Wait! Megaman, no!" Not that it was any use, he was already gone. I sighed again, more heavily and dejectedly though, and slumped back down into the computer chair I'd just risen from.
[ Megaman saw Roll and walked up to her with a smile on his face. She hadn't noticed him, so he kept quiet. When he was right behind her, which actually took quite awhile, considering he had to be absolutely silent, he put his hands over her eyes and said, "Guess who."
She laughed and broke away, turned around and hugged him. "Megaman!"
He laughed along with her, while returning the embrace, but then pretended to be sad. "No fair Roll, you cheated." He smiled amiably at her as they broke apart, but the good-natured grin soon became mischievous. "And what would you have done if I'd been, oh say, Gutsman?"She stuck her tongue out at him and playfully hit him in the stomach, causing him to double over.
"You're such a baby Megaman. I didn't hit you that hard." But when he didn't straighten up she got worried. "Megaman?" Walking closer soon proved to be a mistake. The moment she was close enough Megaman straightened up, took hold of her with one arm, and began tickling her furiously.
(A/N- I don't know if NetNavis can be ticklish, but darn it, it's a fanfic and I say they can. Lol. So there. JK. But for my purposes they are, kay? Looks like Megaman forgot about his email. Worry not, it's all part of my plan... Wait. I have a plan? WOW! Didn't start that way. Ahem, anyhow...)
"Okay, okay! I give up." Roll cried between waves of uncontrollable laughter. Megaman complied to her pleas and released her. The Navi grinned as she attempted to regain her lost breath. Once she had she glared at the NetNavi beside her, but it went from glaring to shaking her head and smiling lightly. "What am I going to do with you?" She asked, though not to anyone or thing in particular.
"Aww, you know you'll keep me Roll. What on earth would you do without me?" He stopped, suddenly remembering why he was here, and saddened by it. "But we'll find that out soon, won't we?" It was finally his turn to sigh sadly.
Her smile quickly became one of sorrow as well. She walked back to him and hugged him again, this time holding on and not letting go. "I'm going to miss you so much Megaman."
"I'm gonna miss you too. I know we'll get to see each other still, but it's just not the same as you being next door, just a quick jack in away."
They stayed like that a moment, just remembering what it was like to be together, the best of friends, best of teams, and what leaving really meant finally sank in. ]
Unknown to them was that they were being watched. As soon as Maylu had noticed she'd received an email from Lan she had watched the PET. The sight of Megaman preparing to surprise Roll had made her smile, and she went to her window to show Lan.
Maylu calling out his name had shook Lan from his thoughts, and he quickly went over to his window to see what she wanted.
"Meet me on you're front step, quick." Of course he immediately complied.
They were both down in half a minute, just in time to watch Megaman sneak up on Roll. Maylu winked at him, and both sat down to watch the exchange.
They were silent as their Navis went back and forth playfully, but when the two became melancholy at the thought of separation, so did those watching.
Maylu looked away from the PET and at Lan. "Lan, are you really going to leave DenTech and all your friends?"
He didn't dare meet her gaze, it would have killed him, he was sure. "I don't know Maylu. That's actually why Megaman emailed Roll. He was going to ask her to see if you could meet me to talk."
Maylu nodded her understanding, stood up, and put her PET into her pocket. Looking down at Lan she smiled slightly. "Well then?"
"Huh?"
"You wanted to talk, come on then. Let's go for a walk." Lan stood up and they walked out of the yard and onto the sidewalk.
"So, what's the matter?" Maylu asked him when they'd reached their destination, the city park.
"Leaving's what's the matter Maylu. I want to, but there's just certain things here at home I don't want to leave."
"Like what?"
"Like the things you said, this is my home. It's the only place I've ever really loved, and all the people I love are here too." He paused a moment. "Everything that matters is right here."
"Then why do you want to go?"
"I'm not even sure. There's just this feeling I keep getting, deep down in my heart, that makes me feel discontent. I don't even really know what it is. I just figure it's gotta be that want to travel, kinda like it was for my dad." His voice dropped to a lower tone, he never blamed his dad for wanting to travel and shared the thrilling sense of it with him, but he did sometimes wish he'd been around more.
She looked at him softly, and her voice matched her gaze. "Lan, you're not your dad."
"I know. He got the one thing he wanted even more then traveling, but he still wasn't happy. Sometimes I wonder if my heart isn't battling against two things. The one thing I want more then any other, and traveling to get away from it because it's afraid I can never have it."
Worry filled her eyes as she watched him. "Lan, you can have anything you want if you want it bad enough, and you let yourself try."
He shook his head. "And if the one thing you want the most is someone's heart? It's not within a heart to force another to love it, or to force itself to love another."
Maylu made no response, she doubted she could respond. She really didn't think it was even her place, who was she to patronize him when she was no better? 'So that's what's bothering him. He's in love, and instead of giving it a chance, he's prepared to run from it.'
Lan smiled with irony. "This is why I didn't want Megaman to talk to Roll. But when you asked, I couldn't lie to you, I couldn't deny you to help me, not when it's what you wanted. It would have only hurt you if I'd tried to keep it."
She nodded. "Lan, maybe it's not my place to say, I doubt I'm any better then you in this respect, but you've asked my help, so I'll give it. Lan you are not your father, you know that. And it sounds to me that you know exactly what you're longing for, and adventure isn't it. At least not the type of adventure you're prepared to indulge it in. You're just running from the truth, because you think that'd be easier then facing it and loosing your heart. Better to deny it."
He was visibly startled by the accuracy of her statement. She was right, she always was in the end. He was running scared, he was a coward. If he never gave his heart the chance to love now, here, while the chance existed, he'd never love, and he knew it. He'd never settle in anywhere. He'd always be running.
Again he wondered about his dad. He'd gotten what he wanted, the love of his mother, so why did he still feel restless? 'But then again, Dad always comes back in the end.' He shook his head and cleared the thoughts. 'I'm not my dad, I don't need to reason how he's lived his life, I need to choose how I'm going to live mine.'
He stood up quite suddenly. "Maylu, thanks. You're the best. I've gotta get home, I've made a decision. I'll call you later, kay?"
And without waiting for her answer he was off running as fast as he could back home, leaving a surprised Maylu to walk slowly behind. When he got there he tore up the stairs into his room, shut his window and lowered his blinds. Turning back to his PET he found Megaman still with Roll.
"Megaman, come on! We've got some talking to do. You can talk to Roll later, we've got plans to finalize." Megaman said goodbye and left Roll coming back to Lan.
(A/N- I'm not sure how all that works, so if it's difficult to understand, I apologize.)
"Alright Lan." Megaman relented with a sigh, "Where's the first place we're off to? And what will be your preferred means of travel?"
"I'm not sure yet, but there are some new guide lines to add to it."
And the pair began searching and working, and did so until it was quite late, and they didn't stop until Lan had fallen asleep at his desk.
The next morning dawned quickly, far too quickly for Lan who was still asleep at his desk."Lan. Lan. Wake up, Lan!" Megaman's loud voice came to disrupt his dreams, and grumbling he finally woke.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm up!" He stretched and rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes. Glancing at the clock he jumped from the chair. "Megaman! It's already 9:30! Why'd you let me sleep in so late?"
Megaman rolled his eyes and gave him a hard look. "Like I could help it. You wouldn't get up any earlier."
"Alright, alright. Fine. Now email Maylu and tell her to meet me at the pond in the park at noon, if she can. Don't stick around to talk to Roll either, we've got work to do."
"Gotcha." And he was off to email Roll.
[ "Roll!"
She turned. "Huh? Oh, good morning Megaman. What's up?"
He masked the emotions on his face so that she would not be able to tell what was going on. "Lan wants Maylu to meet him at the park by the pond at noon. If she can of course."
Roll went back to Maylu for a moment, then returned. "Yup, she'll be there at noon."
"Good then, and tell her to bring her PET too. Bye, Roll." He was gone.
Softly she said, though he was not there, "Good Bye, Megaman." ]
"She'll meet you there Lan. But we better hurry if we want to be there and ready."
At ten minutes to noon Maylu sat down beside the river bank, her PET next to her.
"This is it Roll. He's going to say he's leaving. We're going to lose our best friends Roll. What if we never see them again?"
"Maylu, they'd never leave us for good. Even if they end up living somewhere else, in the end we'll always be a team. No one can ever beat us and no distance can ever truly separate us."
Somewhere to the right the bushes rustled, and out stepped Lan, PET around his neck, and his hands behind his back. Whatever was in them he left in the bush, and he came to sit next to Maylu.
"Lan." She began, but he shook his head and smiled.
"Let me talk Maylu. Please." She nodded. "I've made my choice, and I've decided I'm going." He paused, noticing tears welling up in her eyes. One fell and he reached up to wipe it away. "What's wrong Maylu?"
"I'm going to miss you so much."
"I'm not done yet. I'm going, and I'm taking you with me."
"What?!" She was shocked.
"You heard me. I'm going and you're coming. If you want to of course." He laughed at her confusion. "I've changed my plans from a year abroad just me and Megaman, to a two week vacation with you, me, Megaman and Roll."
"Really Lan?"
"Really."
"How come?"
"Because you're right. I was a coward, running before I ever took a chance. And I know if ever left without giving myself a chance I'd never love anyone again." Now he stood and went over to the bush. Extracting a bouquet of flowers he took Maylu's hand and lifted her up. Smiling he held out the flowers to her.
She smiled in return, but it wasn't the same friendly eager smile as it usually was, there was love in it, love that had long been disguised for mere friendship.
"Lan, I." But she was cut off by a kiss. She returned it and when they broke away both their faces were sporting a crimson blush. Lan felt sure his heart must be beating a mile a minute.
"I love you, Maylu. If I'd left I would've never been able to love anyone again. You helped me realize that, thank you."
She smiled and hugged him tightly. "Love you too Lan. Always have, always will."
The pair didn't even care that they had an audience.
[ "I'm so glad Megaman!" She said, as he wrapped his arms around her in a caring embrace.
"Me too Roll, me too. It would have killed me to leave you." They stayed close for a while, until Megaman let go of her and held her at arms length.
"Roll, I wanna tell you something." He paused and took a deep breath. "You mean more to me then anything else in the world. I'm glad I'm not leaving, because I don't know if I could have." He looked down, waiting patiently for her to tell him she didn't feel the same, but to his surprise she hugged him again and then kissed his cheek.
Smiling, he captured her with a kiss, and moments later they broke apart. "Love you Megaman."
"Love you Roll." ]
Both Navis and operators stood with those they loved most, and Lan reflected back to what he'd been worrying about twenty-four hours ago. It seemed so silly now.
He would stay, and he would go, he would love, and he had decided, because everything that mattered was right there, right in his arms.
THE END
So, what'd ya'll think? This is my first Megaman fic, and I apologize for not knowing much. I haven't seen that many episodes, but I was a Megaman fan when I was little, the original, but I just found out it was on again. I love NT Warrior.
If you've got any Megaman/Roll or Lan/Maylu fics, I'd love to read them!
Anyhow, hope ya liked it. Flames are used for camp fires and candles.
AkaOkamiRyu"The Trouble With Never"
By: Tim McGraw
Never wonder what she's doin, never give her a call
Never see her again and I'll be free as a bird
But the trouble with never is never never works
If I never bring her flowers, I'll never see her smile
If I never try to kiss her, she'll never drive me wild
And I'll never feel the need to say those three little words
But the trouble with never is never never works
I know how to stay carefree, let no one get a hold on me
But I can't keep my hands off her
There's something different 'bout this girl
If I never let me love her, I'll never settle down
And I'll never put roots in this God forsaken town
And I'll never say I do or step foot in a church
But the trouble with never is never never works
I know how to stay carefree, let no one get a hold on me
But I can't keep my hands off her
There's something different 'bout this girl
If I never think about her, I'll never miss her at all
Never wonder what she's doin, never give her a call
Never see her again, and I'll be free as a bird
oh, But the trouble with never is never never works
yeah, But the trouble with never is never never works