Title: Credit Card
Author: mercury_999
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Hollywood AD
Category: H
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Distribution: Please ask first, but I'll always say yes. :)
Summary: The credit card bill is brought to Skinner's attention
one month after the Premier of The Lazarus Bowl.
Author's Notes: This is for Scully711 :)
Feedback: mercury_999@hotmail.com

XxXxX

One Month after the Premier of 'The Lazarus Bowl'
Skinner's Office
9:17 a.m.

"Good morning Agents. Have a seat," Skinner gestured at the
empty chairs in front of his desk with his hand. Mulder shut the
door behind them, and both Agents sat down.

Scully neatly folded her hands on her lap then said, "Excuse me,
Sir, but what is this about?"

"Scully . . . Mulder . . . " Skinner cleared his throat. "It's
come to my attention that some, ahem, racy bills were credited
to a Bureau credit card . . . " He trailed off. Scully's cheeks
immediately flushed and she looked away from her boss.
Mulder grinned at Skinner, then glanced at Scully, then looked
at Skinner again; trying not to laugh. Skinner looked from one
agent to the other, his own embarrassment rising.

"Sir . . . " Mulder started, but his laughter threatened his
ability to talk, so he mumbled something.

"I think what Agent Mulder is trying to say is that card was
given to us to use at our own discretion, as an apology for your
friends actions," Scully glared at Mulder.

"That would be fine, had you used the card for more
appropriate purposes," Skinner stated. A blush was starting to
creep across Mulder's face. "Personally, I don't care about
what you do on your own time, but I have to answer to my
superiors why the Hell there's a honeymoon suite at Le Reve
Hotel on the card. Not to mention a five-course meal at what
has to be the most expensive restaurant in Hollywood, and the
rest of the things you two charged to that card."

Mulder gave in, and started laughing hysterically. Skinner
looked mortified, and Scully started to grin.

"Sir, you could always say that it was you who-" Scully
started.

"I'm not looking for an excuse to use. I'm supposed to question
this, and that is what I'm doing." He held up a receipt. "How
do I explain these . . . things on this bill?"

Mulder had regained himself and looked smugly at the AD.
"Sir, could you refresh my memory to what exactly that card
was used for?" Scully's jaw dropped and Skinner turned bright
red.

Skinner paused. "Of course, Agent Mulder, if it jogs your memory. After all, it wasn't my bill," Skinner said calmly. "Should I begin with the lingerie on the sizable Victoria's Secret bill? Or the items from Chastity's One Stop Sexxx Shoppe? The fuzzy handcuffs
maybe? Foreplay dice? Or the glow in the dark condoms?" Skinner paused to look at the Agents. Mulder had sobered up, and Scully was still staring at him open-mouthed.

"So Sir, why are we here again?" Mulder asked.

Skinner sighed in frustration. "To question you about this. It's
my job, Mulder. I'll deal with this somehow, but I never want
to hear of this indecency from either of you again. You're
dismissed."

"Thank you, Sir," Scully said quickly, before jumping out of
her chair. They rushed to the door and let themselves out of
Skinner's office.

As they walked into the corridor, Mulder whispered slyly,
"What are our odds of doing that to him again?"

"About a million to one," Scully smirked.

XxXxX

FINIS
mercury_999@hotmail.com