Commander Shepard took a deep breath as she stepped onto Docking Bay D-24. As per usual, it all looked exactly the same, does this place ever change? She thought to herself, and shaking her head to dismiss the thought, she marched toward the elevator that would take her to Huerta Memorial Hospital. She had urgent business, and quickly return Garrus' wave as he lounged idly by the skycars.
She stepped into the elevator, hastily pressed the button and waited, seriously, I can fly through space but the elevators go at 1 mile an hour? She rolled her eyes and folded her arms. She didn't even wait for the doors to open properly, and used her strength to force them open and barged out. Shepard had arrived in Huerta Memorial Hospital. It was quite a pretty building, with big glass windows that looked over the Presidium.
Shepard scanned the reception area, and felt a jolt in her stomach. She was sure Thane was here, he had said so in his message, unless, and Shepard tried to move her thoughts away from this, that he had become so ill he was confined to a ward. She and Thane Krios, a drell assassin, had formed a relationship many months ago. As much as she hated to admit it, there was something about morally conflicted bad-boys that got her blood pumping. Thane's Kepral syndrome wasn't noticeable when he had been on the Normandy six months ago, but Shepard did not know how much worse he had become.
Kepral's syndrome was inevitably fatal, and Thane's death was in the not-so-distant future. Even with the war the thought troubled her. Thane however, appeared to be at peace. That terrified her even more as not too long ago he admitted he was scared of dying, as he now had something worth living for. It was almost like the doctors were addling with his brain.
Her eyes swept over the room again, and sighing in relief she spotted him, tensely sitting on a leather black chair by the window. She had seen him previously when Kaidan had been bought in. She had momentarily forgotten Kaidan was still in hospital, I need to give Kaidan that bottle of liquor she thought to herself. Last time she was here she had made out with Thane in the middle of the room, an act that embarrassed and excited her. She was, after all, Commander Shepard.
She walked over to Thane, who smiled at her approach. She took a seat in the other chair.
"Back again so soon?" Thane asked, grabbing hold of her hand.
"Yes," Shepard replied, her voice trailing off as she looked into Thane's dark eyes, "I was wondering if you wanted to do something?" she asked, turning and looking out the window, "I've got time."
"Got time?" Thane asked, smirking.
"Made time," Shepard corrected, smirking back.
"Siha, I am unable to leave the Citadel, as you are well aware - ," Thane returned to seriousness but Shepard held up a hand to stop him.
"I don't mean leave the Citadel, but surely we can spend time together. The Citadel is huge, with many places to see and go," Shepard declared, "I hardly ever talk to you, let alone see you."
Thane folded his hands together; apparently deep in thought, "That sounds lovely," he said and smiled at her. He stood and Shepard copied the movement, she headed to reception where a receptionist and person were bickering about the name of Huerta Memorial Hospital.
"Excuse me; I was wondering if I can take that drell over there out around the Citadel for a few hours?"
"Tannor Nuara," the other receptionist replied.
"Tannor Nuara?" Shepard repeated stupidly.
"Yes, the name of the drell," the receptionist spoke slowly and clearly for her.
"Er – right," Shepard replied, "Yes, I'd like to take Mr Nuara out for a few hours."
"Please be no later than this time tomorrow, Mr Nuara is very ill and needs daily medical treatment."
"I am well aware, thank you," Shepard replied and walked back toward Thane where he stood by the elevator.
"Tannor Nuara?" Shepard asked him as the elevator doors opened and they stepped inside.
He shrugged, "thought I should use a fake identity, - and I'm pretty sure I mentioned it," he replied and Shepard did recall, and smacked her forehead. The VI nagged at them, Thane turned to her, "where do you wish to go Siha?"
"Hmm – would you like to see the Normandy?" Shepard asked.
"Yes, I would," Thane smiled and Shepard pressed the button to Docking Bay D-24. The elevator, once again, took a while but the time flew with Thane by her side, she took his hand and held onto it. He gave her hand a quick squeeze.
"How's Kolyat?" Shepard asked as they exited the elevator, both waving at Garrus as they passed.
"He is well. Worried about me of course, but that is understandable," Thane answered, "I love him, and I believe he is starting to forgive my mistakes. I am certain he loves me back."
People stared as they walked toward the docked Normandy, the reporter that Shepard had thus far avoided peered curiously at them as they walked hand-in-hand into the area where the Normandy was docked.
"I don't wish to leave today, just going back in the Normandy for a bit," she said to the guard, a turian with white facial markings who nodded at her. She and Thane clambered into the airlock and waited, the doors opened and they stepped on board.
"It looks exactly how I remember it," Thane remarked as they stepped aboard. Most of the crew were out on the Citadel, only a few support staff remained behind.
"Hullo Shepard," a voice rang through the deck, "and hello Mr Krios."
"EDI, how are you?" Thane asked.
"I am well thank you Mr Krios, it is nice to see you aboard once again."
"I'm afraid it is only for a short duration EDI," Thane replied as they walked down the deck toward the elevator.
"We have a war room now; Mordin's lab is gone….the armoury was moved to Deck 5 and oh, this is Samantha Traynor, she's in a similar position as Kelly was," Shepard babbled as Traynor looked up and smiled at them.
"I am guessing this is Thane Krios, whom you hold in high regard?" she asked.
"Sure is," Shepard replied as Traynor and Thane shook hands. Shepard quickly looked at her terminal as Thane spoke to Traynor about Earth and her time on the Normandy. She noticed both Vega and Cortez still on board. She rolled her eyes, she had told Cortez to take some time off. She grabbed Thane's hand again and led him to the elevator where they travelled to Deck 5.
Vega was, predictably, working out in the gym while Cortez busied himself at the consoles near the drop shuttle.
"Cortez, I thought I told you to take some time off," Shepard said and Cortez spun around in shock.
"Commander! Scared me half to death - I'm just finishing the repair work on the shuttle and oh… who's this?" he asked, nodding at Thane and Shepard's entwined hands.
"I'm Thane Krios," Thane replied, shaking Cortez's hand.
"Steve Cortez," Cortez responded. Vega, no doubt curious, leapt down from doing pull ups and strutted over to Thane, Shepard and Cortez.
"Hola Lola," he said, "you're looking fine," Shepard rolled her eyes while Thane looked between them. Had he not noticed? Then again, it's dark in here Shepard thought, actually it's dark in the whole ship. What did they do to the lighting?
"Vega, this is Thane Krios, he's my boyfriend for lack of a better word; Thane this is James Vega." Shepard smiled slightly at how tense Vega became upon learning Thane was her boyfriend. She saw him gulp nervously while looking at Thane.
"Thane Krios?" Vega repeated, "I feel like I've heard that name. What do you do for work?"
"I was an assassin," he replied, and Shepard watched Vega nod.
"Assassin eh? Up for a sparring session?" Vega used his thumb to point over his shoulder into the empty space where Shepard and Vega had had their own sparring session. Thane shook his head and Vega looked defeated.
"I'm afraid not, I am ill and wouldn't be my best," Thane said and Vega grimaced slightly.
"He's got Kepral's syndrome," Shepard said and Vega nodded in recognition, "but he could wipe the floor with you if he was in his prime."
"Whoa easy there Lola," Vega said while Thane and Cortez roared with laughter. Shepard smiled to herself; this was the first time she had heard Thane laugh.
"Anyway, Cortez, please tell me you will take some time off," Shepard said while Cortez nodded.
"I will Commander," he replied and she nodded.
"Esteban, spar?" Vega asked while Shepard and Thane looked at each other and smiled, he continued, "I feel like one now!"
"Show off," Shepard muttered and Thane laughed again. Once again hand in hand they stepped into the elevator and returned to Deck 2. Giving a final walk through the Normandy, the two of them once again found themselves in Docking Bay D-24.
"Where do you wish to go next Siha?" Thane asked curiously as they walked back to the elevator and were interrupted by Garrus.
"Shepard, what are you doing?"
"Going on a date," Shepard replied, holding up their entwined hands and Garrus nodded in recognition.
"Carry on," he called out and winked. They stepped back in the elevator and Thane looked over to Shepard.
"A date, eh?" Thane cocked one of his eye ridges that acted as a substitute eyebrow.
"Well it's certainly not a business meeting," Shepard shrugged, Thane laughed again as she pressed the button labelled "Presidium". Thane smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist as they waited in the elevator.
"Damn these are slow," Thane remarked and Shepard nodded as the doors opened to reveal the Presidium. Shepard looked around, she had not been near the embassies since 2183. She had missed the pristine look and care taken.
"I've never been down here before," Thane announced and looked around with polite interest. Several asari, salarians and turians openly stared at Thane and Shepard as they walked into the Presidium together.
"You're not allowed here!" a voice called out. Shepard turned to see the asari receptionist glaring at Thane. While drell are a citadel race, the odds of seeing one would be very low. With a population under one million, Shepard didn't even know if they had a representative. The asari had obviously not seen Shepard under Thane's arm when she looked up at that precise moment.
"Excuse me?" Shepard challenged, "I am Commader Shepard, a Spectre. I can go wherever I please."
"Oh - sorry Commander, didn't see you there," the asari whispered and sat back down and continued to type. Shepard and Thane continued to walk along the Presidium, eventually reaching the end where the Krogan statue stood and the statue of the Mass Relay. Shepard smirked, the statue acted very much like the real Mass Relays, even though it was only one-way.
Thane and Shepard walked down to the shores of the lake where it lapped onto the bank. Thane laid on his back, staring up and Shepard lounged, removing her shoes and dipping her toes in the water. She sat with her arms around her legs, and stared out over the lake. Her thoughts swam in her mind; too many thoughts. The main thought though was how long Thane had left, and indeed, how long they all had. Damn war.
"Is something wrong?" Thane asked. Shepard turned to look at him and his dark eyes were full of sadness. She blinked to rid her eyes of the tears; she would not let her own stupid feelings ruin what could be the last quality time they ever spent together.
"Thane….what attracted you to me? What do you see?" Shepard asked as she lay down and snuggled into him. Thane chuckled under his breath.
"Siha, I see a siha. A warrior angel. You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Strong, but so gentle – I've watched you charge into battle, shotgun in hand ready to charge into krogan, yet I remember you holding that hamster of yours with such tender care. The weight you carry with this war, I don't know how you do it and keep so sane," he explained as he cradled her.
Shepard nodded, swallowing around the lump that formed in her throat. He had only described what everyone else saw. No one had seen the Commander Shepard screaming inside, the harrowing dreams of her friends' corpses, the breakdowns in her cabin. Was this war worth it if, in the end, they lost anyway?"
Thane swung over her, and she gazed into his eyes seeing her own face. He lowered his face and she closed her eyes. His lips pressed on hers and she felt waves of electricity wash over her as she kissed back, grabbing hungrily at the back of his head with her fingers. She felt his hands wrap around her waist, as much as they could considering she was still lying on the ground. Great, now I'm kissing in the middle of the damn Presidium!
Thane pulled away shortly after, clutching at his chest. Shepard immediately held him close as he struggled to get his breath back.
"I apologise Siha, but I am not as I once was," he gasped, coughing and spluttering.
"That's okay," she gently patted him on the back. She hated the reminders that he was sick. Shepard pulled her shoes back on and helped Thane up, "come Thane, there's so many more places we should see."
.
Thane and Shepard spent the rest of their day exploring. In the stores on Zakera ward, her own voice frequently greeted their eardrums "I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favourite store in the Citadel". Thane, in an unusual manner of good humour, took to miming her voice as this happened, much to her embarrassment.
The Silversun Strip took their fancy as they walked past bright stores and the casino. Shepard spotted the combat simulator, "you're too sick hey?"
Thane stared at the scoreboard with a look of longing, "unfortunately, yes," he sighed, "to fight at your side again – even in a sim – that would be amazing."
"You, Garrus and I," Shepard reminisced, "those were the days. I use Garrus and Liara now, as I did on the SR-1. Liara's biotics are great, but she's too squishy. The poor thing goes down a lot. I miss having two snipers while I charged in like a buffoon." At her words Thane chuckled again.
Shepard could start to feel a rash on her hand appearing due to prolonged exposure to Thane's skin. She bit her lip, to try and focus on anything else besides the itching. Thane was looking at a map and spotted Purgatory, "should we go for a drink?" he asked.
"Just like old times," she replied.
.
Soon enough they found themselves in Purgatory, sitting at the bar on the upper level while various people danced around them.
"Are you going to dance?" Thane asked, his lips showing just a hint of a grin. Shepard laughed as she looked out at the dancefloor. It was hard to believe there was a war going on at all while on the Citadel. Everyone was so carefree.
"No, I don't think the world wants to be horrified by my dancing," Shepard replied and the two of them burst out laughing, until Thane started coughing.
"That reminds me of that downtime we had after we bailed on the Illusive Man," Thane said once he had regained his breath. His eyes glazed over as he delved into a memory, "We stand in the Mess, surrounding by bodies, they gleam with sweat dancing to the music that is unfamiliar. Tali grabs you from the edge of the room and forces you into the middle. She dances, and after persuasion you begin to dance, stunning the room into silence…" Thane escaped from his trance while Shepard merely downed the rest of her drink and grinned.
"Yeah yeah, unlike the vids would have you believe, I am not good at everything," Shepard said, beginning to feel slightly light-headed. The rash had become more pronounced, and she scratched at it, trying not to let Thane notice.
"I think I should hold your other hand," Thane commented. Shepard sighed, right, assassin.
Thane sighed, "Siha, I am afraid I will need to get back to Huerta Memorial."
"I have one more stop I'd like us to make," Shepard smiled; she took Thane's hand and led him out of Purgatory. They were headed to a very unfamiliar yet new structure in the Citadel. She stepped in the elevator and waited as it took them to the right floor. Thane looked confused as they walked through the hallway.
"Commander," a young woman saluted, "room has been booked for you, enjoy it."
"Thank you," Shepard replied. The door opened and the two of them stepped inside. Thane's eyes widened as he stepped into a desert. The room was bright, illuminated by a fake sun, with a wide blue sky and smooth sandy dirt beneath their feet. In the distance an ocean roared, along with leafless trees.
"Is this…?" Thane asked, staring all around him and walking forward. He grabbed the sand between his webbed fingers and stood amazed. The granules slid through his fingers as he stared in wonder. Shepard walked up next to him, and smiled at his reaction.
"It's a new construction; it simulates any environment you want. We never got our date in the desert so I thought this was the best option. As for the place, I chose Rakhana. I don't know if you've been to…" but she stopped babbling as she stared at Thane. He seemed to be in another trance as he bent down and touched the surface, sitting cross-legged in the sand, a single tear running down his cheek. He looked as though he was mourning the loss of a billion souls.
Shepard lowered herself next to him, not wanting to disturb him. While sitting and gazing out to the realistic horizon, she felt the wind leave her lungs. Thane had grabbed her around the waist and pinned her to the ground.
A grunt escaped Thane's lips as he smiled seductively at Shepard. This playfulness, it was a side she had never seen. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Thane kissed back eagerly, as they lay in the privacy of their little haven.
Thane's hand travelled from her shoulder down her waist, his other hand twisted in her hair. She couldn't even feel or breathe properly, her very nerves were screaming Thane's name.
Thane pulled away quickly, "Siha, I feel I'm in a state of Tu-fira," he gasped. With all the excitement, she had forgotten about the Kepral's syndrome.
She loved when he spoked drell words that weren't quite translatable, "My translator glitched again – what is Tu-fira?"
"It means 'lost in another'; our soul has a very deep connection with those we love. It can cause great pain when we are apart," he explained. She bought a hand to his face, which triggered another memory.
"Fist slams the table," he began, and Shepard placed the memory instantly, "She comes to me, fingers cool and soothing. 'Thane, be alive with me tonight'."
Shepard stared at Thane. Her recall of that night, while not perfect, was pretty damn close. She couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks, those tears turned into sobs as Shepard cuddled up against Thane in the sand, "I love you, Thane," she whispered.
"I love you too, Siha," Thane replied softly, stroking her hair and wrapping a comforting arm around her waist, "we are alive, and when we are not, I will meet you across the sea," Thane added, causing Shepard to snuggle into him further. Her fatigue had caught up with her, and despite her best efforts, she slipped into unconsciousness.
.
Shepard and Thane once again found themselves in Huerta Memorial Hospital. She grasped his hand, completely ignoring the rash that had now formed on both her hands and other body areas. They walked over to the leather armchairs by the window. Shepard wanted to delay the moment for as long as possible.
"Are you sure you can't come with us?" Shepard pleaded, even though she knew the answer. She just wanted more time. Thane sighed as he took her hands in his own.
"I'm sorry, Siha. I need the medical treatment provided here, and Kolyat, he needs me," Thane replied. Despite knowing this, Shepard wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest.
"But, I need you too," she mumbled into him. He chuckled under his breath, and Shepard felt the sound vibrate against her head.
"If I was healthy I would be packing my bags. However, I am not at my best, and I only would be a liability."
"I wish our time together hadn't been stolen," Shepard whispered as Thane tightened his arms around her, "Where's the life where we adopt krogan children and live off the royalties from the vids?" Thane chuckled again, and it was cut short by another round of coughing.
However, she had a duty. She had a genophage to cure, and a war to end. The reapers wouldn't stop for anything, even though she prayed every night that they would just go away. She sighed, it had to be done – but she just didn't want to. What would Thane's health be when she returned next? Would he even be drawing breath?
She unwound herself from him "when…" Shepard gulped, trying to stop the tears springing to her eyes, "when you take a turn for the worst, send me a message. Or at least, get the doctors to. I'll try to get here as fast as I can."
"I will Siha, I promise," Thane replied. Shepard kissed Thane, and lingered just a second longer before turning her back on him and shuffling to the elevator. Her will was about to snap; and any longer she didn't know how her sadness would show itself. The last thing the galaxy needed was Commander Shepard falling to her knees, sobbing her eyeballs out, in the middle of the hospital. Duty first she thought dully. She slammed the elevator button for 'Docking Bay D-24' with unnecessary force and stole one glance of Thane as the doors shut. He wasn't looking at her, simply staring out the window. The image of him lounging against the window burnt into her mind.
The elevator doors opened and Shepard stepped out, looking around. Garrus was still lounging by the skycars, "what's happening Shepard?" he asked.
"We're going," Shepard replied, dragging the massive weight that had formed in her chest. Garrus walked alongside her. He would open his mouth and then close it again, looking like a gasping fish. However, Garrus was smart; he knew what Shepard was going through.
Once in the Normandy, Garrus stopped at Joker's chair, which was recently occupied again and chatted with the pilot. Shepard felt a prickle in her eyes and a lump rise to her throat as she slammed the button for the elevator. She could feel Traynor's gaze burning a hole in the back of her head.
Please don't speak or I will lose it, Shepard thought, and please god I hope there is no-one in this elevator. The doors opened and Shepard all but fell in. They snapped shut and whisked her to her cabin. She hadn't even made it in her cabin as the tears spilled over and ran down her cheeks.
The neatness and stillness of her cabin bugged her. She had probably seen Thane in reasonably good health for the last time, and everything looked the exact damn same. Instead of sadness, anger overwhelmed her.
"He told me when I met him. I KNEW, I KNEW HE WAS DYING," she roared, pacing. The biotics curled around her fists. She wanted to punch something, or throw something. Why is life so unfair? Why does all of this bullshit fall on me? Why? Instead the tears started up again, and she plonked onto her bed, holding her head in her hands, "why did I have to fall for a man I knew was dying?"
She did not know for how long she had sat before a message blipped on her omni-tool. She growled under her breath. She thought about ignoring it, and spending the day shut in her cabin, letting someone else deal with the bullshit. Or, better yet, throwing her omni-tool against the wall. Maybe it'll break and I'll have a perfectly good excuse.
However, duty called no matter what. Her date was over; she needed to get back to it. They were headed to Tuchanka, ready to cure the genophage and she had to be on her game. Shepard turned on her omni-tool, and clicked on the untitled message.
From: Nuara, T.
To: Shepard, C.
Siha,
When times get rough, just keep this with you. It will remind you of better times.
I love you,
Thane
She opened the attachment, wondering possibly what it could be. To her immense pleasure, Then had uploaded a photo album. The tears ran down her cheeks again as she gazed at the photos.
There was one of Thane and Kolyat's apartment. She smiled through her tears at Kolyat's pouty face. She could remember that moment, it had been before she had flown the Normandy to Earth to hand herself in. Other photos caught her attention. Ones in battle Garrus had taken of the two of them, old photos of the entire SR-2 crew. Shepard wiped at her tears, she couldn't believe how much she missed all of them.
However, the last photo was the one that caught her attention. It had been taken today. The two of them were lying in the desert. She was asleep, and nestled into his neck. Thane had a huge grin on his face as he had taken the photo. The blasted tears made a re-appearance as she gazed at the photo.
"The time I had was everything," she said aloud, "that was why I fell for a person who was dying. The time you spend together is worth more than not having that time at all."
She gazed through her window above her bed, the vast blackness of the universe comforted her, "I will meet you across the sea Thane. I promise."