The sky was dark; the battle was ending. Everyone around could feel Orochimaru's presence fading quickly, after all Sasuke was battling him. All the rookies and Team Gai were fighting to protect their village, citizens, and their beloved ramen, from falling into the hands of evil snakes. Aka Orochimaru.
"HYAAAA!" cried Ino kicking her foot into some oto-nin's head. "THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR PULLING MY HAIR!!"
All Shikamaru could do was focus on fighting so he wouldn't imagine what Ino would do to him if he ever got her agitated enough. Chouji though, he used one inflated hand to swipe the enemy ninja while he used the other one to grab chips out of his pocket.
"… Man this is troublesome, why Sasuke can't decapitate the slither puss already?" murmured Shikamaru while stifling a yawn. A ninja was about to stab Shika in the stomach until…
"AWITCHA!" then the ninja flew at the speed of Sakura's fist until he hit the tree and broke through it… and seven others.
'Good Lord her and Ino battle alike.' Shikamaru sweat dropped at his own thoughts.
"You okay Shikamaru?" asked Sakura while dodging attacks.
"What a troublesome question, yah I am fine." he replied. Just then, they heard a vile shriek.
"YOU PERVERT SOUND NINJA! HOW DARE YOU GRAB MY ASS IN BATTLE!!" screamed Tenten. You could literally see her face go to 10 on the 1-10 red scale and the steam blowing out of her ears.
"GASP!" gasped Hinata. "SEXUAL PREDATOR! HOOWAH!" "KYAAAA!" chorused Hinata and Tenten while continuously punching the two poor sound ninjas to death.
'… What the hell? How did they all end up like that? Damn troublesome women…' trailed off Shikamaru. He hid in the trees to get a look at how the other ninjas were doing, along the search he saw Naruto. He was fighting some silver haired man carrying a big sword. (a.n. Ahem, I believe most of you know him as Suigetsu) Naruto made some clones and surprised him by taking his sword from him unexpectedly.
"HAHAHAHA! I got your sword waterboy! You won't be able to beat me now dattebayo!" he grinned and broke the sword in half. The swordsman's mouth dropped open and then he got angry. He glared at
Naruto and then spoofed into thin air.
Naruto's face was very confused.
"Huh? Where did that guy go…?" SWOOSH! Now everyone who cared could see that the silver swordsman was waving a package in the air as he ran. Clearly trying to lead Naruto into a trap.
Naruto begins to squint his eyes to get a glimpse of the package.
"NO! THAT FREAKING WANNABE NINJA STOLE MY RAMEN!"
(This is the demon in Naruto speaking in bold)
'That is seriously not funny, go you dobe of a kid! Get that ramen back, NOW!'
"Nobody, I mean NOBODY takes my favorite ramen from me!" Naruto's features started to morph into that of a fox's face, and a strange mad orange glowing aura began to spiral around him. He cracked his knuckles and got on all fours. Meanwhile, Kiba happened to be passing by and saw Naruto in his transformation.
"Yo, Naruto, what's wrong dude?"
"HE. TOOK. MY. RAMEN!!"
"Omfagica! That is just not right! Let me help you with your quest for vengeance!!" stated Kiba.
"Aw yah! Let's GO Kiba!"
Both animals got on all fours, pounced onward to the near-wetting-his-pants-ninja, and began to beat him so bad that all you could see was dust.
"Oh wow! Look at that youthful cloud of dust!" said Lee with true fascination. He had never seen a dust cloud that let out vicious snarls and moved universally . Just then a ninja with a kunai knife tried to charge toward the dome.
"Gasp! NO! You shall not touch the dust cloud of youth!" Lee then charged toward the oncoming nin and began to pummel him.
"Lee! LEE! Where did he go?" mumbled Neji. "Hmm, Byakugan!"
His eyes started to search everywhere for Lee, and then he spotted him.
"…What an interesting dust cloud…" He began to search inside the dust cloud.
"Wow." He found Naruto and Kiba still obliterating the water boy, and Lee continuously attacking
everyone who tried to go near his youthful dome of dust.
"Take that you bandits! How dare you try to disturb the youthfulness of the dust dome?! You are not youthful at all! Here is my youthful dust power! HWAA!" He kicked a humongous dust bunny towards the oncoming ninja.
"coughcoughHACK! GASP! I can't POO breathe!" then he turned blue and lost consciousness.
"HEY!" shouted Shino madly. "Who sent a massive dust bunny to annihilate my precious bugs? Was it
you?" Shino pointed towards a purple snake that was Orochimaru's servant pet.
The snake's eyes widened and he shook his head no.
"Oh, I think it was. Just look at your face, its purple with shame and guilt. For messing with MY bugs!"
Said snake began to slither slowly away.
"Nu uh! You can't flee that easily from my mind boggling powers! Here I come!" Then Shino ambushed the purple snake and started to wrestle the snake.
"AH HA!" he now had the snake in a headlock.
Sakura dashed by Shino, she had a bad feeling that something was going to happen. "GO SHINO!" she shouted to him for inspiration. As soon as she began to come in reach within the area that Sasuke was fighting, a brain-dead chinchilla blocked her path. It was (a.n. I think we all know who this is) Karin.
"Where do you think you are going you forehead mutant?" snickered Karin.
"None of your business you snotty bamboozle." replied Sakura who was staring to get wrathful.
"Uh, what was that supposed to mean? You know you are just jealous because I got to be with Sasuke and you aren't as sexy as me." said Karin in an annoying high pitched snobby voice. Sakura got even madder and inner Sakura began to show. Even the little righting began to appear. But Karin kept on.
"I have way better skills than you do! Plus the looks, and I know that Sasuke loves me with all of his heart. And I love him, everyone knows it too. He was the one he spent these three years with."
"RAAHHHHH!!" Sakura bounded toward Karin and slapped her.
"Ugh! Hey!" yelped Karin.
"Stupid redhead! YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR! TAKE THIS! CAUSE I DON'T HAVE TIME!" Sakura then punched Karin so hard that she landed in the Akatsuki base two countries over.
WITH KARIN.
"Ow, that pink haired woman punches hard. Gasp!" she was a little kooky from the punch and she just saw Itachi.
"SASUKE! -glomp- AW! You missed me! -incinerating glare from Itachi-"
"Get. Off. Me. NOW." hissed Itachi ferociously.
"Come now Sasuke, I know you lo-"
He then kicked her into the biggest ocean there is in their world, and she was never heard from again.
BACK WITH SAKURA.
"Sasuke! Sasuke-kun where are you?" yelled Sakura trying to find the missing Uchiha.
She came to an abrupt halt. There in front of her was a bloodied body with spiked dark hair with no headband and black pants. Sakura scurried to the mangled body, hoping that her accusations were wrong.
"Sasuke?" she called in a small voice. She turned the body over and saw that the boy was opening his
eyes. They turned out to be obsidian black.
"Mhhhm." mumbled the boy.
"OH Sasuke!" Sakura began to weep over his messed up body.
"… Sasuke? Who the heck is Sasuke? Tell me." inquired this boy.
"What? -sniff- who are -sniff- you?" asked Sakura between sniffles holding the body off the ground in her arms.
"Don't remember ugly?" he smiled a mocking smile.
Sakura's eyes automatically stopped crying and all traces of tears were gone.
"Sai? What the hell, you're not Sasuke. Whatever, I have to find him though." she dropped Sai without a care and walked away without a second thought.
"Ow! Hey what about my wounds? What if I die?" he called out.
"Get someone else to do it! I'm freaking busy here!" replied Sakura.
"Busy with what?" questioned a deep velvety voice. Sakura turned around to face the familiar voice.
"Sasuke-kun! I was busy looking for you, and so I could do this." she smiled and proceeded to step to
Sasuke. He picked her up in his arms and they shared a big kiss.
"Hey guys!" called Naruto.
The two lovebirds looked at him.
"What?" asked Sakura.
"I got my ramen!" he shouted, taking a big bite of his yummy noodles.
"We took care of the sexual predator! Right Hinata!" smiled Tenten.
"Y-yeah!" she stuttered.
"Wah!" came a wailing sound from behind them.
"What is the matter Lee?" asked Neji.
"-sniff- My dust cloud of youth is…GONE!" he began to cry and chant about how youthful and hip the cloud was in his final hours.
"BWA HA HA! I took care of the shame and guilt filled snake!" stated Shino proudly.
"Aw no way! Man I would love something made out of a real snake…" mumbled Ino.
"Here Ino." said Shikamaru handing her a purse made out of purple snake skin.
"Ah! Awesome! Thank you Shikamaru! I always wanted one and look! It's purple!"
"It wasn't all that troublesome, Shino was more than happy to give me his strangled snake for some
grasshoppers."
"Wait." said Kiba. All eyes prodded towards him. "Wasn't there a reason why we were all out here fighting?" asked Kiba curiously, Akamaru barked in agreement.
"Hn… Oh yeah. I killed the crazy, oily, pedophile. Couldn't let him get my cherry blossom here." he kissed the top of Sakura's head.
"Phew! That means that I can do this now!" exclaimed Naruto. He climbed on a crate that popped out of no where.
"HINATA!" he bellowed. "WILL YOU BEAR MY CHILD?"
-thud-
"…" everyone said.
"I'm going to go home." stated Kiba.
"Yeah me too." "We'll leave also." "-sniff- goodbye my youth less dust bunny!" and more goodbyes were exchanged.
"What am I going to do about Hinata?" pondered Naruto after everyone left.
Just then she woke up.
"Hinata! You are awake!"
"Yes."
"Huh? Yes what?"
"Yes I will bear your child."
"… COOL!"
I wonder if this was at all interesting or funny… You tell me! I hope you at least enjoyed it! Please Review and give me your opinion and some tips if you want! Remember, this is just an attempt. First one I have every really done that doesn't follow some plot. … cool …