A/N: Sorry for mistakes that I might have missed. Hope you enjoy the story :)
Chapter 1- Crack My Heart
I'm in the break room taking my break and the radio is on and the song starts to make me think about Paige. And the song is Hello by Adele. I sigh, and I really do miss her a lot. I do think about her every day and I do wonder if she thinks about me.
Flashback-
Year: 2011, New York.
Emily is sitting on her bed and she is crying and she wants to be alone tonight. It's a Friday night but she just wants to be alone and not go out. Next door to Emily's apartment there is a party and she can hear the muffled music playing. Paige is at the party and she gets on the balcony because she had to answer a phone call. After the talk, she puts the phone away and she just stands on the balcony, drinking her beer. She can't drink much tonight because later she has to drive her friends to their home. Paige was lost in her own mind when she starts to hear someone cry, she turns around and she sees Emily is crying. Paige starts to think if she should comfort the girl or just ignore her. Paige starts to think in couple second she made up her mind. Paige walks towards the window and she gently knocked on the window, Emily looks at her strange.
Emily opens the window and Paige sitting down next to the window.
''Can I help you?'' Emily asked.
''I saw you cry, and thought you might need someone to talk with,'' Paige said.
''That is sweet of you to do,'' Emily said.
''Wanna talk about it?'' Paige said.
''Death in the family,'' Emily said.
''I know those feelings. I know everyone deals with grief in their own way, but you shouldn't shut out the world and people that love you.'' Paige said.
''I know. I just don't like crying in front people, not sure why really but I just don't. So, you meet strangers on their balconies?'' Emily said and Paige lets out a small laughter.
''Actually, you are the first. I can't drink a lot tonight because later I have to drive my friends back home.'' Paige said and Emily gives her a small smile.
''How can I be sure you're not a serial killer?'' Emily said and they both laugh.
''Guess, you figured out my secret,'' Paige said with a smile.
Emily laugh again and Paige is smitten by Emily.
''Emily,'' Emily said.
''What?'' Paige asked.
''My name is Emily,'' Emily said.
''Oh, thought we were going to say random names. But my name is Paige. Do you go to NYU?'' Paige said.
''Yes, I'm a senior,'' Emily said.
''I am a junior. Doubt we have the same classes.'' Paige said.
''Yeah, we don't have the same classes. Maybe, we could hang out that doesn't involve you on my balcony.'' Emily said.
''I will like that. Admit it, not everyone says they met someone on their balcony on a summer night.'' Paige said.
''It's spring, not summer yet,'' Emily said and she laughed.
''Oh, totally forgot that it's spring. I swear, I'm not a lightweight and I don't get drunk on one beer.'' Paige said.
''So you are admitting that you are a serial killer?'' Emily said.
They laughed together and Emily is smitten by Paige. And Emily felt like that she didn't have to pretend to be someone else like she used to do before.
Paige and Emily didn't have a chance to say something because one of Paige's friends ruined the moment.
''Paige! Get your ass back in here! We are going home.'' Ralph yelled.
''Well, Emily that's my cue to leave,'' Paige said and she starts to stand up.
''Do, you want to go out on a date? If you have a boyfriend and I'm sorry I thought you played for the team and I didn't mean to…'' Emily just starts to ramble on.
Paige smiled at Emily.
''I play for the team and I don't like guys,'' Paige said.
''Oh okay, same. So?'' Emily said.
''You sure, you want to go out with a serial killer?'' Paige said.
"Maybe I'll get proof that you are," Emily said.
''Alright, we can go out on a date. But how it will work out?'' Paige said.
''What?'' Emily said.
''Meaning, every date night I have to come to the balcony to pick you up?'' Paige said.
Emily and Paige laugh together.
''C.'' Emily said.
''What?'' Paige said.
''I live next door to of the guy who threw the party. I don't know him personally, but my door is five c. What makes you think there will be more than one date?'' Emily said.
''We will find out. Bye, Emily.'' Paige said.
''We will see. Next week Friday, pick me up at eight.'' Emily said.
''Okay,'' Paige said and left.
-Flashback ends-
I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear my co-worker call my name.
''Emily, did you hear what I said?'' Stephen asked.
''Sorry, I was lost in my own world,'' I said.
''Thinking about Paige again?'' Stephen said.
Stephen is gay and I told him about Paige before. We both working in a nursing home, he works as a cook and I work as a fitness instructor. He is married and I'm really happy for him and I went to his wedding last year. He does want to meet Paige but I told him I lost touch with her and he wants me to find her.
''Yeah, I miss her so much,'' I said.
''I have faith you two will find each other again,'' Stephen said.
''Thanks.'' I said.
We leave the break room and we go back to work. I have certain hours that I do to help the elderly people workout, but I usually walk around and I speak with them. I see this elderly woman always sitting by the window, I have tried to make conversation with her but she doesn't answer me. She isn't mute or deaf, from what I been told. I just know that she is Irish and her name is Valerie McLaughlin. I go into her room and I greet her, but she doesn't say anything back. She is never rude to me or to anyone else, she mostly keeps to herself.
''Thought maybe we could go play bingo or anything you want to do,'' I said.
She doesn't say anything. I just sit next to her and she looked at me then looks away. In her room she does have a lot of family pictures and one picture of a girl, they are sitting down on the grass, and the woman kissed Valerie's cheek. That's the only picture that is next to her bed. For the past weeks, I have been coming to her room every day and wait until she says something.
''Do you want coffee or any snacks?'' I said.
She doesn't say anything again. I look out the window, she does have a nice view of the garden.
''My mom is into gardening. My dad isn't but he does help out because it makes my mom happy, that's what he told me.'' I said.
She doesn't look away from the window. Since I been here I never saw any of her family members visit her. I know some people can busy with life but they should at least make the effort to see her. I may not know her personality or what kind of person she was before, but here she never gave any trouble.
''I have to go to work now. If you need something let me know. Bye Valerie.'' I said and I leave her room.
I go to the gym and it's a small room. And I wait for people to show up then I can start to help them work out. Valerie never leaves the room to join other people to do activities. Couple minutes later some people did show up and I start to work.
After work before I go home I usually take a cupcake to Valerie. I have seen her eat chocolate cupcakes, I don't take it every day to her. Usually once a week I would take it to her.
I finally arrived home and I live with my roommate Caleb. We met through friends, he needed a place to live and I needed a roommate. We became fast friends. Tonight for dinner we are having pizza and beer together.
''Thought you were going on a date,'' I said.
''I was on a date with her but we had nothing to talk about. So, we decided to end the date early. When will you start going out on dates? Since I been living here, I haven't seen you go out on dates. You are really gorgeous, I have seen a woman try to get your phone number but you turn them down.'' Caleb said then he takes a bite of his pizza.
''To be honest, I still love an ex-girlfriend named Paige. Before we met, I did go on dates but Paige still had my heart. We had a big fight and we broke up. We lost touch and since then I haven't heard from her. I just know that she doesn't live in New York anymore. I know, I should move on but she really felt like that she is my soul mate and I lost my chance.'' I said and I drink my beer.
''Oh okay, I understand what you mean. Maybe try to find her, if it was meant to be then maybe she would feel the same as you do now. I can help you find her since I am a hacker it will be easier for me to find her.'' Caleb said.
''I will think about it,'' I said and he nods.
''Whenever you are ready just tell me,'' Caleb said.
''Thanks,'' I said.
I don't live in New York anymore, I moved back to Rosewood because my dad had a heart attack a year ago. Since then, I didn't move back to New York, because I had nothing to go back to. Every Sunday I go visit my parents because during the week I work. My mom is always trying set me up on blind dates with guys, and I always come up with excuses why I won't go on the date. And my dad is always trying to scare off the guys because he feels that some guys are not good enough for me. I always liked girls since I was a teenager or before that, but I never acted on the feelings because all my life I have been scared to come out of the closet. I'm scared that my parents will disown me, instead of being strong to stand up to my parents, I just act like a scared child.
''Why you won't go out with Steve? He is a great guy.'' Mom said.
''I already made plans with my friends and I can't back out now,'' I said.
''Last time, we met one of your boyfriends was in college, and you never told us what happened between you and him.'' Mom said.
That was the biggest mistake of my life and wish I can change that, but I can't.
''How about we go out to eat at a Spanish restaurant? I'm in the mood for a quesadilla.'' Dad said.
''Me too. We should go now.'' I said.
''Let's go but you are driving.'' Mom said to my dad.
We leave the house and I sit in the backseat while my dad is driving. Wish I was brave to come out to my parents, every time I tried to tell them but I chicken out. I made a lot of mistakes while I was in college, it haunts me every day because I wish did everything differently. I know I have to let go of the past but it's too hard because of my mistakes I lost the love of my life. I just feel like a broken record.
I look through the playlist on my iPhone, there are so many bands and artists that Paige introduced me to. She was more into alternative and rock music when it came to the music we didn't have a lot of common at first. Her favorite bands where yeah yeah yeahs, the sounds and I the Mighty.
-Flashback-
First date.
Paige arrived on time to pick up Emily, they smile at each other. They leave the apartment and both of them are feeling nervous. They started to walk around for a bit and Paige is waiting for Emily to say something like where they will go for their first date.
''To be honest, I don't know where to go for our first date. Thought I knew, but I really didn't know.'' Emily said.
''I kind of noticed when we walked around about ten minutes,'' Paige said.
''Sorry, I ruined the date,'' Emily said.
''I know where we can go have fun,'' Paige said.
''Is this the part you will lure me into a dark place and kill me?'' Emily said and they laughed.
''No. You are not on my shit list, I will let you live.'' Paige said and they laughed again.
''Right.'' Emily said.
They smile at each other.
''So, how do you feel about food, beer and old school games?'' Paige said.
''Are you twenty one?'' Emily said.
''Not yet. But I have a friend who works at the bar called barcade, she will let us in. Do you want to go?'' Paige said.
Emily starts to think.
''Okay, let's go,'' Emily said.
Paige got a cab and they get inside, the driver takes them to barcade.
They arrived at the place and they go inside, Paige saw her friend Zoe. Paige whispered in her ear to let her buy beer and Zoe agreed. Then Paige introduced Emily to Zoe. Emily looks around the place, it's filled with old school video games and pinball machines and she sees a menu list of beer and food.
''So, do you want to lose in Pac man first or pinball machines?'' Paige said and Emily laughed.
''You will lose because no one can't beat me in Pac man,'' Emily said.
''Oh, it's on,'' Paige said with a smile.
''Bring it,'' Emily said and smiled back.
Paige and Emily went change the bills into quarters then they start to Pac Man. Paige starts to play first and Emily just watches the screen.
''You won't make it. They will trap you.'' Emily said.
''They won't trap me,'' Paige said.
Paige tried to get away from the ghosts but they trapped her. And she lost the game now it's Emily's turn to play. Paige kept watching Emily play, she notices that Emily has beat her score and she is impressed.
''Wow, you are really good at this game,'' Paige said.
''My dad used to work part-time at an arcade and I would play Pac man with him. Then the owner sold the place and it became some fast food joint.'' Emily said.
''That's cool. My dad would travel a lot for work so I didn't see him often.'' Paige said.
Emily lost the game but she did make a new high score list. Then they went to play other games and talk about their childhood memories, then they went to buy and share nachos together. They just kept talking about their favorite stuff and other stuff. Even though they don't have any classes together, they would make time for each other.
''So, there will be another date?'' Paige said.
''Yes. For now, let's play street fighter so you can lose to me.'' Emily said and they laughed.
''We will see who will win,'' Paige said.
Emily smiled back and they walk to the street fighter game.
Flashback ends.
We arrive at the restaurant and my mom keep talking about Steve, I didn't hear most of the stuff she said about him. My parents want grandkids and I'm almost in my thirty's. I just wish everything was simple and I can easily tell them that I am gay and I don't see myself settling down with a guy.