Into the Jungle
Known to be two famous people embarked their adventure to an unknown island where lies beneath surprises, surprises that could turn their ordinary life upside down, sort of.
Genre:
Comedy/Adventure/Romance
Pairings:
Dan Kuso and Runo Misaki
Chapter 1
One Glorious Day Camp
"Are we there yet?" I asked impatiently to my bestfriend who just ignored me for the third time as he keep stirring the wheel in our cruise.
I just sit back groggily again and tap my foot numerous times, I mean seriously, the island will be close to the cities right? What's taking it for us to go there so long? I mean, it's really 11:00P.M, it's almost midnight now! We're just like sitting here like ducks here for 12 hours straight. But no matter, I trust my bestfriend and so he trust me.
The name's Dan Kuso, a handsome and sexy 19 year old gentleman who was born as a perfect man the day my parents changed my diapers and holding the rattle in my hands. My adventures was full of success and obligations, I mean really, I learn how to sing song the alphabet song at the age of one year old, learn basic math at two and have practice chemistry and learn how to iron my branded awesome clothes at the age of ten.
Yes, a prodigy, surprising huh? But I could get that a lot from my fans out there somewhere plus my circle of friends tells me that a lot of me.
They watched me as one of the MC representatives represent me, Dan Kuso, of the 32th Annual Business Genius of the Year and give to me the token of certificate and handle me a pathetic excuse of a trophy as the symbol of my abode.
They heard of me from news on the radio that I have tons of companies which by the way the benefactor, was none other than, mwah, myself, have current ratings go up since I was the main CEO, and all of you are curious what I'm working now huh?
Well, just so happens that this Dan Kuso was a CEO of Tourism and Resources Management, which I called it TRM. We cooperate willingly to those tourists and help the environmental specialists to make Bayview City a eco-friendly environment, well not to the point of planting evergreen trees and eventually bears are coming from every houses to eat human fleshes and all. Balancing would a better word to announce. For managing buildings, Some business men came over me to make some architectures of swimming pools, hotels, restaurants, shops, etc. Yes, my company is beyond rich as you say it.
And you might asked why me and my best friend and some of my best personal travelers are in my private boat cruising its way to a deserted island? To make things short, being a loyal friend, I just HAVE to grant his crazy wish of finding a very rare treasure being buried or like safekeeping in that wasteland.
Well, not only that but I really wanted to be an adventurer like him, too bad I ended up as one of those boring businessmen wearing casual and formal uniforms.
"YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!" I shout when Shun was placing our sleeping bags in the ground followed by Marucho and Julie.
I mean seriously? CAMP? CAMP? here in the middle of nowhere on this strange island called, I don't know, Id-iot? Yeah Id-iot it is.
Shun just chuckle while me is stomping my feet as I made my way to find a good spot for me to organize my personal tent automatically. I put a black box in the middle of it, I stand up and with a press of a button, The tent unfold itself perfectly without me raising a finger to touch my beautiful tent.
Shun watched my back and shook his head in dismay.
"You know, being an adventurer isn't about bringing things unimportant to you…" Shun trailed off
"But the heart of being one instead." I cut off him off. Sheesh, that's my bestfriend I tell you. Always the nagging one. I never had the time to understand him but hey, he's my only friend I have and I can't afford of losing trusty ones over some social climbers begging for my unlimited money and cash.
And my best personal assistants, Marucho and Julie came along. When I was at my way to become a successful man, these two never failed to accomplish things that I wanted so I keep my respects and trust of them too.
I went inside to my tent, put on my night light and went to sleep immediately.
In the morning, the sun rises
"What are we looking for anyway?" I asked Shun but he just keep busying himself reading the map while I just holding the compass steadily with my two personal travelers just stay there at our spot near the boat.
I pick my walkie talkie and send orders.
"Marucho?"
"Yes sir?"
"Make us some delicious 5 star rated fried chicken on the double, and ask Julie to prepare the documents before we went back okay?"
"I understood sir." and then I hang up. Seriously, not that there are my two personal travelers but they end up being my butler and the maid instead but heck I don't have time for that.
Shun just chuckle and asked
"Still doing your job while you're out here in the wilderness?"
"I'm a busy man pal, don't pull my patience any longer."
"An adventurer always be the patient one you know. Why won't you relax and enjoy the outdoors anyway?" Shun explained to me while I rolled my eyes.
See! That's the thing I hated my bestfriend, he always nag and nag and uggh my ears are complaining already! He talks too much about adventures and stuff that I care less. What does he care about me carrying my job while I'm on this some sort of 'vacation'? No one questions my line of work! Well except Shun, Ah my bestfriend cares for me too much, well I happen to have such glamorous being and genes of course. I respect him for respecting me of course.
I took something out of my backpack and pull out my ink pen and a medium size binder to start digging information about my adventures. Well, technically, this is a lame start but I need to learn how to be adventurer like Shun you know?
Day 1
Friday, 4:30 A.M
My first start, I was walking with my feet, looking amazed by my surroundings as rare creatures like bees and ants started to marched their way to my legs as my bestfriend is guiding me to what is like to be like him. It was amazing as this would be my first time seeing trees so large and tall as parrots are eating peaches from their branches. And…
"Please don't talk loudly while you're writing your journal please, we might attract something out of the blue and we don't want that right?" Shun said as we are in front of two roads. I look at him and close my notebook and wrenched my eyebrows in confusion.
"Uhh Shun, which one?"
Shun look at the left while I look at the right road.
"That way." Shun announce pointing the left side, I obliged since I really lack the skills of an observer and perceiver at the same time.
As we are going further, the trees surrounding us are getting thicker but Shun's instincts cannot be estimated, He is my bestfriend and my bestfriends are always the smartest in my pockets. But somehow, we look up to see a dead end instead….Dead end? DEAD END?
I thought I was imagining but I look up for the second time after writing to discover a huge boulder blocking our way leading to another passageway downwards, woah! Is that a waterfall I see! Better write it down, oh wait! Camera and video! The twin waterfalls was I sight down below as I write it down in my journal, take a picture of myself with some faraway forest at the backview and look down to start recording the waterfalls using my video recorder.
While Shun, well I ignore him since he could push the boulder with his muscles and brains with ease. Ah Shun, you wouldn't have? Doing the hardwork for me? Touching.
"Gah! Stop being so melodramatic and HELP ME HERE!" okay so much for being a helpful and useful bestfriend sheesh.
"I think we're getting closer…"
"Can we take a break first? I'm starving."
"Stop complaining Dan."
"But it's already 9A.M, I really need to take a bite."
"FINE!"
Woah, Shun shouted at me, that's a first, wait until we get back at the shore Shun. You will get your credits and allowances cut for sure.
We both take a sit, panting heavily after climbing from rock to rock after we ended up moving the boulder and we climb down and all and start climbing up again. Ah, I could feel my muscles tighten up a bit.
As we are eating quietly, I heard a rustling from the bushes making me panic, leaving my pudding to Shun's face. Oh my…so much for my expensive, one of a kind pudding.
"KUUUUUUUSSSSSSOOOOO!"
9:30 A.M
So what if me and Shun covered with sauces and leftovers after that accidental food fight, I still have the energy to travel and all…
"Ouch! Shun!" Someone bonked me in my head or something.
"Watch where you going!" Shun barked and look up to the sky as a sunrays hit his eyes. Shun covered it with his arm as a coconut fell into his head making me burst out laughing.
"Stop that!"
"Hahaha! You should have seen your face!"
But later, some huge and fresh number of coconuts started falling down on us. Shun must felt it beforehand and grab my hand as we try to escape the raining dose of basketballs felling in our hard egg heads.
As we went out on that area, I panted heavily
"What was that…"
"Shhh…" which I completely obey and shout my mouth. Not that I follow Shun so easily, but we heard some noises around us while us are cornered in the middle of these hollow trees. I attempt to use my walkie talkie again but.
"Hello, can anyone hear me?"
"ZzzzZzZzZZZzz"
This sucks, Now we don't have enough signal in this place. What's this all about?
"Dan…" Shun murmur still near at me.
"Y-Yeah?" Now I'm feeling goose bumps times ten already, my hair at my back are standing straight already and what may it worse, my now white hair stood up long and proud as a spear went to the ground inches before us.
"Run!" I don't need to hear Shun's words because I was already panicking and we ran not knowing why we are fleeing for? I mean, I felt a wild chase goose but when I look at my back, there's no one there.
"Keep running! They are at the trees!" Oh so that's why.
But all hope went lose when I net came before Shun. Shun scowl not noticing the net which I kind of curious, he should have sense it right? I mean he is an adventurer and a skill professional ninja and all…
"Dan! Keep moving!" Shun said attempting to wriggle free from the net
"But…"
"Don't worry about me!" Shun shouted while he swipe his knife in his sneakers. "Go!" I nodded and hastily run for my life. Seriously, Not that I'm afraid but we are against all odd numbers here! There's no telling how many beasts are here to eat us. WAAAAHH!
*Toinks*
Wow, this is embarrassing, I tripped and fell on a small rock. Wow, there goes my smart senses
Dan Kuso's List of Abilities:
Smartness went degrading from 200% to 100%
Then unconsciousness went upon my mind as I felt something in my arms. Something wrapped me with a lax tight rope in my arms and I went to my dreamland.
I felt that I've been dragged and I heard some coherent and unfamiliar sounds around me as I attempt to open my eyes again since I'm feeling that my tummy is growling annoying again.
Slowly, my vision come clear and look up to see that the sky has turn black, oh wait I was blindfolded. I wonder where Shun is? I hope he is okay.
Then something or someone take off my blindfold. I was making my line of sight adjust a bit after that. I examined the place a little bit seeing that we are not in some kind of forest anymore, more likely a jungle? Yeah that's what I thought because where there is a jungle, there is bound to be some straw huts around.
And that's where we are. I look up seeing no one and turn to my left seeing Shun looking at me as well, confused. That's where we realize that we are tied up in some kind of bamboo sticks, with our arms and legs strained apart.
"Shun…" I coughed a little since my throat is strained as well
"You okay Dan?"
"Yeah, how about you?"
"I'm fine….sorry about the ditch." I said feeling a little bit guilty about leaving him behind
"I was worried about your safety Dan but I guess we end up screwed now."
Then we look around again seeing no one except some fire in the middle, empty seats and a large mountain in front of us.
"What's going on?" I asked Shun
"I…"
But rolling of drums and sounds of singing burst our ears interrupting our thoughts as it started to rumble around the ground. I look around seeing…O.M.G
I think my nose bleed when I saw girls, Yes GIRLS wearing almost….NOTHING! THIS IS WAY too much FOR ME! I think the heavens heard my plea of wishing I have a wife who will bore little Dan juniors roaming around the house, *sigh* such a sweet and cute wish I have when I was 13 years old.
Well not to the point of wearing almost nothing, they look like apes wearing tribe clothes coated of yellow with black stripes as they are dancing wildly in the fire. I look at Shun wearing almost the same as my expression. 'Surprise'
"ROAAAAARR!" making those sexy, I mean, informal girls stop what they are doing and stand straight looking at the shrine. Me and Shun look at the same direction seeing WAH!
GROSS! I don't want to believe it! I thought girls are men's attraction and entertainment but that's out of my league. Of course the one sitting at the throne is a girl, BUT, she wears almost….well she covered herself with clothes BUT, she looks like a boy.
Yes you heard me ladies and gentlemen, A BOY! Her blue hair was pigtailed plus her aquamarine eyes is definitely not my type and GAH! I even seen her picking her nose and her thick eyebrows and jaw is ugghhh….so manly. YUCK!. Gah! I better look at her as an ugly monkey.
On the other hand, well I could say she's a beauty, except she looks like a ape like that ugly monkey but her orange hair tells me otherwise.
Then the ugly blue haired monkey stands up and raise her arms.
GAH! This is a nightmare I tell you! She even grew some man's hair on her armpits. Huhuhuhu Tell me I was dreaming. Better yet, kill me now. _
The ugly monkey spoke.
#$%#$^^$%^%$^&%&*^(%^&%$^&. Tada!
"What did she say?" I asked carefully since this tribe girl guarding at me was just looking me like I'm about to be their dinner. Same goes for Shun's lady.
"She said, Tonight, We will start our night as we will begin to eat our buffet for tonight. Behold!" Seriously I think Shun understand them because he might be empowered by an alien who understands everything or something.
"Uhh….Buffet?"
"US! You idiot!" Shun murmur angrily, keeping his hush tones quietly. Wah! I knew it! I knew it that this is going to happen, who would I thought that here in this island or now a jungle or I-DONT-KNOW! We'll end up us tonight's dinner! Wah! I wish there would be a lava here so we could end my misery once and for all.
Then some group of lady apes start carrying a big pot and place it on the fire. Others put up water inside and place some vegetables and fruits and a big girl with muscles start stirring. I think they are making some soup. Just then, the orange haired girl earlier came before us making us flinch. Woah! When did she got here?
What made it worst that she started smelling me. Oh dear, I think I seen my sweat spreading my forehead since she ALMOST touch all of parts my body. Gah! This is humiliating! Then the orange haired ape went to smell Shun instead.
Just then, the ugly blue haired monkey….GAH! Double EEK! came before me and sniff my chest and body too. Wah! What are they trying to do? Smell us to death? Are they planning to make us their main seasoning for their soup! Waaahh!
I sacredly look at Shun and by the looks of it, He look like he is calm as ever but I could sense of fear since I've known for being sensitive around me and all, and Shun's one of them.
The orange haired girl ape just keep smelling Shun like she enjoyed of it, and ...…WAAAAHHH! Oh dear, I really don't need to see this but that orange haired girl ape just….just. She just lick Shun's right arm! Waaahh! Not that I'm the victim, but wah! this is my best friend for crying out loud! and her tongue made her way….to his…..okay that just so gross, it went to his ears….eeewwww.
What made it worse for me is this ugly blue haired monkey did the same to me! NOOOOO! WAAAAAHH! Ground, swallow me now!
I could tell Shun is having a nervous breakdown already while I was silently telling myself.
I, Dan Kuso, 19 year old solemnly announce to everyone that I am totally taken and having a relationship of an ugly blue haired monkey. So Help me Valentina, Goddess of...you know what forget it.
Runo's P.O.V
#$#$%$#%#$^$%&$&$%&$&. Hehehe
Oh wait, I'm talking to you guys now? Okay let me translate that for all of you.
Hmmmmmmm….Delicious, yeah we could definitely needed them for tonight. I mean, me and Alice never have a taste of men in real life. But now we are kekekekeke….
Author's Note:
0.0…okay I better wrapped this one up. I think this is my first time writing a Kusaki story and all since I owe RockyBluexDanRuno a.k.a Alexa a favor last time and I do hope you all of you enjoy this…..very awkward story. Seriously, whoever have the idea of writing a….oh wait it's me. Hehehe sorry about that.
Take care guys and have a nice day!
