Why I'm Not Allowed To
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!
Summary: Drabble, why each Naruto character is prohibited from a certain activity, OC inclusion.
A/N: Hoshi is an OC, yes, but I threw him in here 'cause it's funnier with him.
Chapter One: Kiba Can't Use Bug Spray
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
"Ah," Hoshi sighed pleasantly, "What a beautiful day. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and plants are photosynthesizing. Life is as it should be in the gorgeous, peaceful village of Konohagakure. Or is it? Let's take a closer look!"
Kiba scratched his neck, irritated, as he followed the puce haired boy. Yes, Hoshi's hair was puce. Some would call it mauve, but they would be in for a spectacular ass-chewing as to how it is puce, not mauve. It wasn't his natural hair, obviously—but the lustrous black of his curls had long been abandoned in favor of the store bought puce-y-color-that-some-might-call-mauve-and-regret. "Hoshi," he said, "Remind me again why I'm doing this for you?"
"I'm paying you good money bitch, now keep that camera on me!"
Akamaru gave a loud, resounding bark. Kiba woofed back in agreement. Hoshi turned to glare at the duo. "Is there something you two would like to share?" he asked loftily.
"No," the Inuzuka replied.
"Well then, I suggest you shut your holes and follow me! I'm gonna get rich with this movie. Hoshi of Konohagakure: Professional Stalker!"
"Who are we stalking again?" Kiba asked, scratching Akamaru's ears as the giant hound scratched his back.
"Generally anyone that deserves to be stalked—hey. What are you guys doing?"
"We're itchy," the dog nin explained, "You know how the saying goes…you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."
Hoshi blinked owlishly. "I see…have you considered the fact that you may have dandruff?"
"Inuzukas don't get dandruff!" the cinnamon haired boy snapped irately.
"How about fleas then?"
"Oh. Those…we get."
Hoshi produced a can of mace out of nowhere. "This is the answer to your prayers, my friend," he said somberly.
Akamaru growled suspiciously. Kiba nodded. "I thought flea collars were a better idea."
"Nonsense! Spray this on yourself and the fleas will run away screaming. Besides, the ladies dig it," the puce-head waggled his eyebrows.
"I'll take it," Kiba reached for the canister.
"Great, that'll be a hundred yen."
"What!"
"Well, you wasted video time, and I'm paying you, and you want the can for free?"
"You're right," Kiba muttered, properly chastened, "That's greedy of me. Here, take the money," he said.
Hoshi grinned at him as the pocketed the hundred yen note. "Fare thee well, fleabag," he said, and, grabbing the camera from him, ran towards the village.
00000000000000000
"Heya Shino!" Kiba hollered to the boy. Shino raised an arm in greeting—then froze. "Kiba, you smell weird," he said.
"What are you talking about, I smell like a million yen!"
Shino's eyes widened. "Kiba, you have on BUG SPRAY!"
"Yeah, wanna get some too?" the Inuzuka brought out the can of mace and sprayed down the boy. A mass of black fell away from him: his bug pals.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (gasp breath pause gasp) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO (gasp breath pause gasp) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"
000000000000000000000
"So, Kiba-kun," Tsunade sighed, "What have we learned today?"
"Never trust Hoshi?"
"Hey!"
"That too," the Hokage admitted, "But more specifically…?'
"Never spray bug spray on Shino?"
"Precisely. I think you'll understand when I say, no more cans of mace or any other insect deterrent for you, hmmm?"
The cinnamon haired boy grinned sheepishly. "Yeah."
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
This is one of those stories you have to do regardless of the reviews, so I'm not gonna bother asking for 'em. I love this! But please, as always, if you've seen a fanfic with the same idea, please let me know.