A New Perspective
Chapter 1
~~~~
Buffy stretched and purred softly as sleep slowly unleashed its fervid hold on her. She sprawled nude across her white silk sheets but still hesitated to open her eyes. A light smiled played across her lips. It was at this point that she felt most content. There was nothing like the comfort of being safe in your own bed.
Her mind lazily wandered through the events of the previous day and settled on a pleasant memory.
~~~~
"What are you doing here luv?" he eyed her warily, never knowing what to expect when she was around.
"I just came to visit."
Spike raised an eyebrow.
Buffy hesitated, she looked ready to bolt any minute.
"I, uh, patrolling was kind of slow and I was nearby so I thought maybe..I should go. I'm sorry." She turned back to the door she'd passed through only moments before.
Spike caught her wrist.
"That's quite alright. Stay." He slowly drew her into the depths of his crypt. "I don't get 'visitors' very often."
He loved the look on her face. Unsure, vulnerable. He rarely got to see her like this, he always came up against the slayer, but this was Buffy. The real Buffy with all defenses down.
He felt a sense of wonderment that she had come to him in this state. That she had trusted him in this state, knowing all that she knew about him.
"Sit down luv." He gestured to the couch.
She obeyed tensely, her back ramrod straight.
Spike sat at the other end, turned to face her. For a moment he just let his eyes wander over her. He lingered a while on her exposed throat and then met her hazel eyes. He swallowed audibly, his mouth had suddenly gone dry and he fought to stay in control of his baser instincts.
"H-how is Dawn?" he stuttered, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
The corner of her mouth twitched a little.
"Fine. Good, she's keeping busy with school."
"That's good. And the others?"
Buffy brought her hands together in her lap and began to scratch at the freshly applied nail polish.
"Well, uh, Giles is gone for good now." She hesitated a moment, waiting for the emotions that came along with that statement to subside. "And Tara's moved out..Willow's not handling it very well...Xander and Anya are fine though."
Spike nodded. He wasn't surprised; he had seen it coming with the witches. Ever since they'd brought Buffy back he'd seen it in Willow's eyes. The feeling of empowerment that magic brought her. She was treading on the edge, but he kept his thoughts to himself, for now at least. Buffy had enough on her mind he was sure.
"And you?" His dark intense eyes probing her for the truth.
"It's getting better. Things are getting easier.." She smiled lightly, but he could tell it was a false smile.
They were silent again, contemplating each other.
Finally Buffy broke the silence with a question she'd never asked before. A question she'd never thought or cared to ask before.
"How are you doing Spike?"
He grinned rakishly.
"Never better pet. Thanks for asking." There was no need to burden her anymore than she already was. Besides, this answer was the truth..at least for the moment.
Buffy was here, in his crypt, and they were having a decent, civilized conversation that wasn't peppered with insults. She had come of her own free will, and he could tell that for once her visit wouldn't end with a 'Spike, can I ask a favor..?'.
Damn right he'd never been better.
~~~~
He'd suggested they watch a movie and Buffy had heartily agreed. By that point the conversation had become stilted and uncomfortable and it wouldn't have been long before one or the other brought up the night, no so long ago, at the Bronze and the unusual activities they'd engaged in under the stairs. Not that they were SO unusual anymore.
He'd offered her something inoffensive to drink, but she'd suggested playfully that they dip into his supply of liquor. She'd known then and she still knew now that it wasn't a smart move but yet she couldn't resist. The consequences weren't pretty or pleasant but for once she wanted a slayer free night. Without the thoughts or worries of the slayer in the back of her mind. She could never fully relax with Spike around when her slayer senses were still working full time. And they'd begun to work overtime as Spike inched closer and closer to her as the night progressed.
She wanted the slayer's rationale to be gone. She wanted to give in to her feelings and yet her logical side wouldn't let her. She was tired..so tired. She didn't want to fight it anymore and drowning out the background thoughts seemed a practical solution.
Unfortunately the night hadn't left her with very much to remember, but it had left her with a pleasant feeling. She didn't need to remember specific events to know that she'd had a good time.
But now she was back in her own bed. She didn't know how she'd gotten there, Spike had probably brought her home, he wouldn't let her leave by herself in her intoxicated state she was sure. And she was alone. She felt a wave of disappointment at that, but maybe it was all for the best. With the effects of the liquor all but gone maybe it was better for him not to be around when her logical side kicked into gear and felt the need to belittle him and deny any feelings she may have for him.
She rolled onto her side and curled up, hugging a pillow to her. She lay peacefully, just letting herself indulge in the mood that the night before had embarked on her for a while, before this new days events came bursting into her sleepy reverie.
Suddenly an eerie feeling pierced her dreamlike state. It came from no where and was gone just as fast as it'd come, but Buffy couldn't shake the sensation it left behind, or ignore the goose bumps that'd cover her body.
She reached behind her and pulled a sheet over her bare body. She ignored this new feeling and tried to recapture the one it had interrupted, but still, something just didn't feel right.
"Damn." She muttered, finally letting her eyes flicker open. Expecting to find the room bathed in morning's light as usual she was surprised to be surrounded by darkness. She rubbed her eyes and checked again.
Still dark.
An ominous shiver made it's way down her spine.
"Don't be silly." She told herself, pulling a fuzzy bathrobe off a chair next to her bed. She slipped into it as she stood up and did it up tightly, warding off the chill that seemed to have descended on the room.
She glanced around and noticed the dark curtains pulled across both of her windows.
"See, it's just the curtains blocking the sun." She told herself, while carefully avoiding the thought that she never ever closed the dark blue curtains. They had been hung purely to frame the windows, which had lighter coloured blinds that let a cheerful glow filter into the room in the mornings.
She tried to shrug it off, thinking maybe Spike had closed them in anticipation of staying over, but had thought better of it. But the feeling of foreboding stayed with her.
She sat back on the bed and waited. She didn't know what for, but she knew something was going to happen. Her senses never acted up without just reason.
She needed to stay focused, but try as she might, her thoughts again floated back to the night before.
~~~~
"Can I try the one you're drinking?"
"I don't know Slayer.."
She placed a tiny finger across his lips.
"Shh..tonight I'm not the slayer. I'm just me. Buffy."
He smiled softly and kissed her finger, tempted to do more, but he never even had a chance. His unexpected gesture of tenderness had sobered her up enough to pull away, her head full of reasons why she shouldn't be here, with him.
That simple movement hurt him more than any words she could say. Even in a half intoxicated state he repulsed her.
Spike sighed and pushed those thoughts to the back of his head. Just being here with her was enough for him.
"Alright..Buffy..But I think this one is a little too strong for you."
She grabbed the flask from him, ignoring his protests and took a long sip. She nearly coughed it all back up but she didn't care, she just wanted to lose herself in it. She didn't want those thoughts to needle her anymore.
After another two or three sips she was back to giggling happily.
Spike gently coaxed the flask from her and took a sip himself. He sat back and just watched, pain digging into his heart at the thought that she had to be drunk to be relaxed around him. He knew he could never have her completely, not that he had her at all.
Her small hand gently caressing his thigh snapped him quickly away from his thoughts.
"I'm so naughty.." She giggled.
"Buffy..luv, pay attention to what you're doing." He shifted away warily.
"I AM paying attention Spike. You're silly. Silly Spike." She leaned back against the cushions, her hand momentarily forgetting its mission.
Spike took that moment to shift enough that her hand fell limply to the couch. He didn't want her like this.
"I am sooo going to be feeling this in the morning." She groaned, in a moment of clarity.
Spike chuckled...
~~~~
"That's it!" Buffy mumbled out loud. She placed a hand over her stomach.
Nothing.
She was not known for holding her liquor, and yet now, somehow, her stomach wasn't queasy at all. She actually felt..perky?
She knew that had something to do with the dark feelings she'd had only moments earlier. She felt as though she was on the edge of an epiphany and it was driving her insane.
What had she done the night before that was trying to come to light?
She didn't think it was something she really wanted to remember, but felt that it was important and it was eating away at her.
She grunted with frustration when still nothing came to mind and decided that maybe if she busied her mind with other things it would come to her when she least expected it.
She stood up and began to shuffle towards her en suite bathroom when something caught her eye. Or actually, DIDN'T catch her eye.
She had probably only imagined it..but just to be sure..
She backed up the few steps to the mirror hanging above her dresser and found it wasn't just an illusion.
There was no reflection peering back at her.
TBC
Chapter 1
~~~~
Buffy stretched and purred softly as sleep slowly unleashed its fervid hold on her. She sprawled nude across her white silk sheets but still hesitated to open her eyes. A light smiled played across her lips. It was at this point that she felt most content. There was nothing like the comfort of being safe in your own bed.
Her mind lazily wandered through the events of the previous day and settled on a pleasant memory.
~~~~
"What are you doing here luv?" he eyed her warily, never knowing what to expect when she was around.
"I just came to visit."
Spike raised an eyebrow.
Buffy hesitated, she looked ready to bolt any minute.
"I, uh, patrolling was kind of slow and I was nearby so I thought maybe..I should go. I'm sorry." She turned back to the door she'd passed through only moments before.
Spike caught her wrist.
"That's quite alright. Stay." He slowly drew her into the depths of his crypt. "I don't get 'visitors' very often."
He loved the look on her face. Unsure, vulnerable. He rarely got to see her like this, he always came up against the slayer, but this was Buffy. The real Buffy with all defenses down.
He felt a sense of wonderment that she had come to him in this state. That she had trusted him in this state, knowing all that she knew about him.
"Sit down luv." He gestured to the couch.
She obeyed tensely, her back ramrod straight.
Spike sat at the other end, turned to face her. For a moment he just let his eyes wander over her. He lingered a while on her exposed throat and then met her hazel eyes. He swallowed audibly, his mouth had suddenly gone dry and he fought to stay in control of his baser instincts.
"H-how is Dawn?" he stuttered, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
The corner of her mouth twitched a little.
"Fine. Good, she's keeping busy with school."
"That's good. And the others?"
Buffy brought her hands together in her lap and began to scratch at the freshly applied nail polish.
"Well, uh, Giles is gone for good now." She hesitated a moment, waiting for the emotions that came along with that statement to subside. "And Tara's moved out..Willow's not handling it very well...Xander and Anya are fine though."
Spike nodded. He wasn't surprised; he had seen it coming with the witches. Ever since they'd brought Buffy back he'd seen it in Willow's eyes. The feeling of empowerment that magic brought her. She was treading on the edge, but he kept his thoughts to himself, for now at least. Buffy had enough on her mind he was sure.
"And you?" His dark intense eyes probing her for the truth.
"It's getting better. Things are getting easier.." She smiled lightly, but he could tell it was a false smile.
They were silent again, contemplating each other.
Finally Buffy broke the silence with a question she'd never asked before. A question she'd never thought or cared to ask before.
"How are you doing Spike?"
He grinned rakishly.
"Never better pet. Thanks for asking." There was no need to burden her anymore than she already was. Besides, this answer was the truth..at least for the moment.
Buffy was here, in his crypt, and they were having a decent, civilized conversation that wasn't peppered with insults. She had come of her own free will, and he could tell that for once her visit wouldn't end with a 'Spike, can I ask a favor..?'.
Damn right he'd never been better.
~~~~
He'd suggested they watch a movie and Buffy had heartily agreed. By that point the conversation had become stilted and uncomfortable and it wouldn't have been long before one or the other brought up the night, no so long ago, at the Bronze and the unusual activities they'd engaged in under the stairs. Not that they were SO unusual anymore.
He'd offered her something inoffensive to drink, but she'd suggested playfully that they dip into his supply of liquor. She'd known then and she still knew now that it wasn't a smart move but yet she couldn't resist. The consequences weren't pretty or pleasant but for once she wanted a slayer free night. Without the thoughts or worries of the slayer in the back of her mind. She could never fully relax with Spike around when her slayer senses were still working full time. And they'd begun to work overtime as Spike inched closer and closer to her as the night progressed.
She wanted the slayer's rationale to be gone. She wanted to give in to her feelings and yet her logical side wouldn't let her. She was tired..so tired. She didn't want to fight it anymore and drowning out the background thoughts seemed a practical solution.
Unfortunately the night hadn't left her with very much to remember, but it had left her with a pleasant feeling. She didn't need to remember specific events to know that she'd had a good time.
But now she was back in her own bed. She didn't know how she'd gotten there, Spike had probably brought her home, he wouldn't let her leave by herself in her intoxicated state she was sure. And she was alone. She felt a wave of disappointment at that, but maybe it was all for the best. With the effects of the liquor all but gone maybe it was better for him not to be around when her logical side kicked into gear and felt the need to belittle him and deny any feelings she may have for him.
She rolled onto her side and curled up, hugging a pillow to her. She lay peacefully, just letting herself indulge in the mood that the night before had embarked on her for a while, before this new days events came bursting into her sleepy reverie.
Suddenly an eerie feeling pierced her dreamlike state. It came from no where and was gone just as fast as it'd come, but Buffy couldn't shake the sensation it left behind, or ignore the goose bumps that'd cover her body.
She reached behind her and pulled a sheet over her bare body. She ignored this new feeling and tried to recapture the one it had interrupted, but still, something just didn't feel right.
"Damn." She muttered, finally letting her eyes flicker open. Expecting to find the room bathed in morning's light as usual she was surprised to be surrounded by darkness. She rubbed her eyes and checked again.
Still dark.
An ominous shiver made it's way down her spine.
"Don't be silly." She told herself, pulling a fuzzy bathrobe off a chair next to her bed. She slipped into it as she stood up and did it up tightly, warding off the chill that seemed to have descended on the room.
She glanced around and noticed the dark curtains pulled across both of her windows.
"See, it's just the curtains blocking the sun." She told herself, while carefully avoiding the thought that she never ever closed the dark blue curtains. They had been hung purely to frame the windows, which had lighter coloured blinds that let a cheerful glow filter into the room in the mornings.
She tried to shrug it off, thinking maybe Spike had closed them in anticipation of staying over, but had thought better of it. But the feeling of foreboding stayed with her.
She sat back on the bed and waited. She didn't know what for, but she knew something was going to happen. Her senses never acted up without just reason.
She needed to stay focused, but try as she might, her thoughts again floated back to the night before.
~~~~
"Can I try the one you're drinking?"
"I don't know Slayer.."
She placed a tiny finger across his lips.
"Shh..tonight I'm not the slayer. I'm just me. Buffy."
He smiled softly and kissed her finger, tempted to do more, but he never even had a chance. His unexpected gesture of tenderness had sobered her up enough to pull away, her head full of reasons why she shouldn't be here, with him.
That simple movement hurt him more than any words she could say. Even in a half intoxicated state he repulsed her.
Spike sighed and pushed those thoughts to the back of his head. Just being here with her was enough for him.
"Alright..Buffy..But I think this one is a little too strong for you."
She grabbed the flask from him, ignoring his protests and took a long sip. She nearly coughed it all back up but she didn't care, she just wanted to lose herself in it. She didn't want those thoughts to needle her anymore.
After another two or three sips she was back to giggling happily.
Spike gently coaxed the flask from her and took a sip himself. He sat back and just watched, pain digging into his heart at the thought that she had to be drunk to be relaxed around him. He knew he could never have her completely, not that he had her at all.
Her small hand gently caressing his thigh snapped him quickly away from his thoughts.
"I'm so naughty.." She giggled.
"Buffy..luv, pay attention to what you're doing." He shifted away warily.
"I AM paying attention Spike. You're silly. Silly Spike." She leaned back against the cushions, her hand momentarily forgetting its mission.
Spike took that moment to shift enough that her hand fell limply to the couch. He didn't want her like this.
"I am sooo going to be feeling this in the morning." She groaned, in a moment of clarity.
Spike chuckled...
~~~~
"That's it!" Buffy mumbled out loud. She placed a hand over her stomach.
Nothing.
She was not known for holding her liquor, and yet now, somehow, her stomach wasn't queasy at all. She actually felt..perky?
She knew that had something to do with the dark feelings she'd had only moments earlier. She felt as though she was on the edge of an epiphany and it was driving her insane.
What had she done the night before that was trying to come to light?
She didn't think it was something she really wanted to remember, but felt that it was important and it was eating away at her.
She grunted with frustration when still nothing came to mind and decided that maybe if she busied her mind with other things it would come to her when she least expected it.
She stood up and began to shuffle towards her en suite bathroom when something caught her eye. Or actually, DIDN'T catch her eye.
She had probably only imagined it..but just to be sure..
She backed up the few steps to the mirror hanging above her dresser and found it wasn't just an illusion.
There was no reflection peering back at her.
TBC