How Bizarre
By: xx strawberrylube xx
Quelz- YAY! Our first fanfic! - Most happiness! Kairee-san sends her joy 'n all and her best wishes to this fanfic! We just hope this is a boom, not a bust… ; Quick shout-out-er to our beta-buddy, Junsui- Thanks! And. uh…here we go!
Disclaimer- We do not own Naruto, though we can dream, right? We don't own the song "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts" by Monty Python, and we don't own Junsui, but we kinda slave her…-; the only thing we own is this fanfic and the thoughts going into it! …And this here, piece-a gum: Holds up gum:
BREAK
It was a peaceful and uneventful day in Konoha - well as peaceful and uneventful as it gets with Naruto around, that is. All of the Genin were at the Academy because it was 'Parent Day'…Anyways; they wanted everyone to know what their parents did, and what they wanted to be when they grow to be big, strong, helpful ninjas. Or, at least, that's what the Jounin and Chuunin wanted them to do.
Naruto was bored beyond belief, and just the thought of people coming in and telling what they did for money bored him twice as much. "I hope this thing is the least bit interesting…like having a parent that's in the circus!" Naruto giggled, as he thought of some old-fart on a unicycle and having him fall off to be rushed to the hospital for spleen surgery, which was very odd... He looked at the clock from where he was sitting, which read '9:47' and sighed. He had the rest of today to put up with.
Sasuke was having a bit of a similar day, but at the same time, completely different. He was swarmed by crazed fan-girls and was trying not to think about this burdened day - the only thing related to Naruto's was that he was bored. As he made way around the corner to his class, the massive blob of girls thinning, he caught glimpse of Naruto balancing a pencil on the bridge of his nose with a bored expression on his face, leaning his chair on the back two legs.
"Naruto-baka, what are you doing?"
This caught Naruto off guard, scaring him enough to knock his chair back. "S-Sasuke? What do you want?" he said slowly as he unsteadily got to his feet and picked up the spilled chair.
Sasuke made his way toward the blonde (the boy-crazy girls that were standing at the door had finally realized they had to go to class) "Well, Naruto, it's a free village; I may do as I please."
Naruto glared at the teme for a second and snapped, "What do you want? It better be good, or leave me alone."
The older boy flipped his long bangs out of his eyes swiftly. "Naruto, lose the attitude, or I'll have to hurt you."
The blonde jerked his head up, "What're you gonna do, eh? Rape me?" Sasuke said nothing but smirked, which sent a shiver down Naruto's spine. "Don't you have to go to class, Sasuke-teme?" It hadn't occurred to him he had to be in class three minutes ago.
"Hn…Who cares? It's just a bunch of old bags telling whatever they want us to listen to."
Just as the older teen finished his 'speech', Rock Lee ran over and nearly screamed, "OH, JOY, JOY, JOY! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE LOVELY PEOPLE TELLING ABOUT THEIR LOVELY CAREERS!" Sasuke twitched; Naruto nearly pissed himself in fear. Lee continued his little rant, "AREN'T YOU EXCITED? I'M JUST SO EXCITED!"
Sasuke winced at the sight of the overjoyed boy jump and giggle. Naruto finally piped up, "Lee…get a room…" The poor 'happy-man' was suddenly saddened and very dramatically ran off with his hands over his water-filled eyes to tell on them to Gai-sensei.
Finally, Kakashi-sensei arrived calmly into the classroom. "…Well, hello, class! It was such a fine day this morning; I thought to take a small walk to the park…"
Naruto cut him off before he could say anymore "LIES!" he exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at the one-eyed man. Sasuke decided it was a good time to get to his class. He got up and glared at the sensei, then took his leave.
The teacher smiled at the Genin as he left, then turned to the class and said, "As most of you know its 'Parent Day'; where everyone's parents come into class and explain what they do as their jobs, and help you decide what you would like to be when you grow up!"
Naruto was suddenly melancholy; he had said 'everyone's parents' were to come to class… but just as soon as his depressed feelings started they ended; Kakashi said quite loudly, "First I'll let the parents into the class, and then we can get started!"
He opened the door and a handful of adults waltzed into the room. The last parent to come in was…a bit odd… It was clear he was, at the least, a relative of Lee, for he had those big, bulgy eyes... He had a pink nametag on his shirt, but the writing was too big and curvy for Naruto to read.
Once again, Kakashi-sensei spoke up, "Class, welcome our guests!"
The only 'welcoming' was grunts, forced smiles, and –of course by Naruto- a loud "HIYA!"
The grey-haired man sat on his desk and said, "Class, before you meet the parents, we'd like for all of you to share!" With that, he gave his trademark one-eyed smile. Lee's hand immediately shot up and waved it impatiently. Kakashi looked around the room in desperate attempt to find someone to go besides Lee, but came out empty-handed.
In a bored tone, he called the spiffy Lee to the front of the room. Lee ran up and jumped to stop himself from crashing into the black board; causing a loud crack of noise. Quickly he turned around to face the class and opened his mouth to begin his –most likely hour long- speech, when there was a knock at the door.
"COME IN," Rock Lee said happily to the door, putting his speech on hold for his manners. The sensei was a bit confused but said, "Err…yes. Come in." The door slowly opened to see the famous, bored Sasuke-kun. He glanced around at the room at the closest faces staring at him –either in awe or curiosity-
"Uh…Ibiki-sensei…" He looked around to see if it was all right to call him that when he was not present. "He told me to come in here for the Parent-snooze 'cause his class is full…"
The teacher didn't catch his insult to this traditional day, but said, "Very well! Err…" he looked around for an empty seat, and found one next to Naruto, and pointed it out for him. "Right here, sit so we can let Rock Lee start. We're telling the class and parents what we want to be before we start with the parents." Sasuke followed directions and took his seat next to Naruto with an "Hn".
Lee decided to take the moment to his advantage and said, "Well, when I grow up I want to go to- no…uhm…I want to be a…SHOWMAN! Yeah! And I'll sell COCONUTS! Like that guy in that one song! Yeah! He's one of my ROLE MODELS! So YOSH! That's what I'm going to do when I grow up!" He punched the air; then moseyed down to his seat.
Kakashi's eye was wide in…whatever his eye was wide in. He had just seen Lee give a speech saying he was to grow up to be like some guy he'd heard of…in a song… Kakashi-sensei, completely forgetting about class, thought to himself, "How did that song go?" Iruka-sensei came into the classroom just as the teacher sang these words to himself, a bit loudly:
"Down at an English fair,
One evening I was there,
When I heard a showman shouting
Underneath the flare:
Hoi've got a lo-ve-ly bunch o' coconuts
There they are a-standin' in a row
Big ones, small ones, some as big as yer 'ead!
Give 'em a twist, a flick o' the wrist,
That's what the showman said!"1
The class and the adults stared at the older man for a second, then Lee and his relative stood up –at the same time- and clapped loudly, followed by Iruka, then the rest of the class slowly clapped, still in shock.
Kakashi-sensei blushed a tad –that bit of his face as you could see, at least- "Uh-uh…thank you? Heh heh...this is a bit embarrassing…!"
Naruto rubbed his eyes to make sure he had just witnessed his something-thousand-year-old teacher just…sing! Sasuke coughed, "Geez, did the old guy just…sing?"
Naruto turned to him and smiled, "YUP! SURE DID! MY EYES AREN'T LYING THIS TIME!" The dark-haired boy just rolled his eyes and turned back to the front of the class.
Kakashi's blush darkened as he realized that one: Naruto and Sasuke were talking about him and two: Iruka was there. "Er-r... we should get on with this, don't you think, class?" he asked unsteadily.
Iruka finally vocalized himself, "Yes! Please do!" The matinee looked around and said, "ANYONE else?" Naruto's hand shot up –almost as fast as Lee's- and Kakashi said, "Okay, Naruto, go on up…"
STOP THE BREAKING, MAAN
Quelz- WOOT, WOOT! First chaptahhh…DE-ON-AY! - Please review, 'cause it'll speed up the updating process! Though the next chapter is already done…XDD we did that one before we even THOUGHT about this chapter: slaps cheek: shame, eh? Anyway, please review, so we know if this is a good story or not!
1Lyrics from metrolyrics(dot)com
Junsui Kegasu's BETA Notes: Yay. BETA! Um, um, um…honestly, the most I can say of this is "no comment." My goodness, you two are an acid trip…