All eyes were on the jets which took off from the Navy base in Norfolk, headed for those designated to receive the vaccine and doctors and scientists to begin to make the vaccine in mass to eventually cover every area of the US and other parts of the world. Everyone on the deck of the Nathan James was cheering as were all military personnel left on the ground.

The Chandler children also watched the jets streak across the early morning sky. Ashley was proudly pointing out to her brother, Sammy, that their dad had done that, as she pointed to the sky. The Captain's father, Jed was so proud of his son.

In contrast, the Captain himself still felt the weight of the world on his shoulders and the most profound sense of guilt. He had felt that he had failed Darien. He had failed Rachel and his crew both on land and sea. He had made wrong choices and trusted the wrong people. He had not even been able to really face Rachel and had not spoken to her at any length, since they had met up at Avocet, after Tex had rescued her and Kara.

He had asked if she was alright and she told him that Quincy was dead. He had taken his own life rather than give up the primordial stain, letting the trouper think the secret had died with him. Rachel had been devastated by this, he could tell. He was so relieved that she was safe and unharmed, but dreaded what he would hear about what was happening to his people aboard the ship he had left to fend for themselves, in his absence. When he found what Amy Granderson had tried to do to Kara, he realized how far her evil extended.

After they got back to the ship and he heard of the heroism of his own people in the face of what they had to endure and the headcount of the dead had hit him, not to mention the devastation he was bringing his family into, he was not in the greatest of emotional states. He had to put on an absolutely strong face for his crew, though he was anything but stable underneath it all.

He did what he was trained to do and the mop up was done and everything was put back in place. His personnel had to do some double duty to cover those who had died, but it all got done at his command and carried out by Mike and Jetter. Rachel got her lab back up as much as possible after so much of it had been removed. It was being reconstructed as best she could make it. She had her own mop up to do and without Quincy, it was not easy.

The Captain personally had led a team to the Whitehouse in DC and they found a video which led them to find the network of labs that had been set up to mass produce the vaccine when the Nathan James brought it home. After the Nathan James returned to Norfolk and found that there was a Navy presence there and pilots from the Navy and Air Force, as well as a number of Navy Seals who were trying to stabilize that area, the Captain had made sure that the Nathan James tried and succeeded to contact many of these labs, what was left of them, in different parts of the world and within the US, though some had gone dark, including the location in Norfolk.

Rachel was very excited when she reached her old mentor at one of the labs in Florida. She was thrilled to speak with him again. He unfortunately told her that he had not heard from Michael, her journalist boyfriend, in months and that he had last been in an extremely hot zone in China. It was clear that he thought Michael had not made it out alive. Rachel felt that she would finally have to deal with the idea that he was gone. It was probably true that she had very few people who had been friends of hers who were still alive. At least her old mentor was alive and she would cling to that.

Now that they were at last hearing that the vaccine and the medical and scientific personnel had landed at their designated areas so that the vaccine could be mass produced and distributed, the Captain took his family to their old home in Norfolk to pick up things to take back to the ship. He had been very busy over this last week or so and that was good because it helped him not have to deal with his feelings of loss and his guilt. At least he could do something to make things better.

Now, however, he returned to their home with the children and his dad, the home that he had shared with Darien. The children ran ahead of him to get to their rooms to collect what they would take back to the ship. They were going through their clothes and belongings.

The Captain stood in the hall where all of the family's collection of special photographs was displayed. He saw his and Darien's wedding pictures as he ran his finger tracing her bare arm from her shoulder to her delicate wrist, remembering how beautiful she was when that picture was taken on their wedding day and how in love they had been. He turned his eyes to their bedroom and the four poster bed that they had shared, the last time he had been home. He could not block the memory of their last night together in that very bed, before he had left on the Nathan James for the Arctic. How sweet her lips felt against his, remembering their last embrace. He stepped to her dressing table, where her hairbrush still rested along with her perfume bottles. He picked up her favorite, one he had given her. He held it to his nose and he closed his eyes as her scent filled the room. It was more than he could bear as his head came down and the tears started to flow. God, how he loved her. How could someone so full of life and as beautiful as his Darien really be gone? How could he fill the emptiness he felt in his heart?

How could his children live with no mother? How could he be there for his children, when he had to be there for his crew? They were a family also. What if something happened and the ship was in danger, how could he protect them, or protect his crew, if he was thinking of protecting his family on the ship? He suddenly knew that he must not take the children back to the ship.

The Navy seals were cleaning up Norfolk and they now had the cure. The safest place would be here in the home they knew, where they had all their things, which they would never be able to take back to the ship. Here they could go outside and play and still be children, not on a Destroyer, where there would be only danger for them. He had promised the children that he would not leave them, that they would be together and he could not break that promise. He knew now, that he would have to give up his commission and resign from the Navy. There had to be things he could do for the cause here on land. Mike and his crew could go on without him. They would have to. He had a responsibility to these two children. The other crew members would not be able to have children on the ship, like their captain did. It was not fair to the crew.

That night, he got all of the family in the living room and he told them what he planned to do. His father was not happy, but he went to unpack the things they had put in the duffle bags. Sammy and Jed left the room. Ashley stood up and looked at her father in disbelief. She said, "Mommy would never have wanted you to leave your ship before the mission was accomplished. She would never have wanted you to give up"

Her father was astounded at what she said to him. He said, "Ashley".

She was not through yet. "Daddy, Sammy and I were so proud today, because it was you, our father who pulled the plan together, who commanded that doctors and scientist be sent out in the jets to the various bases and laboratories to save the people of the United States and even the world from the virus. The mission is not finished, daddy. It is only beginning. How do you think it makes us feel, that you are abandoning your duty because of us? Do you want us to live with the guilt of knowing that you stayed with us, rather than continuing to do what you do best, daddy? There is no one out there who can lead them the way you can. How many lives will be lost because you stayed with us, daddy? Don't do this, please. We won't hold you to your promise. Mommy would never want you to do this. You know she wouldn't!"

He couldn't believe the passion his little Ashley put into her tirade. She was standing there with tears running down her face. He held his arms open to her and she ran to him and he took her into his arms as he held her on his lap. She placed her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. He rubbed her back, soothingly as he had when she was a much smaller child. He had not realized how much she had grown and how wise she had become. He saw Darien in her and he also saw himself. He knew he would have to rethink what his plans were, but somehow he had to make sure they would be okay, if he left them here and about that, he was not yet sure.

He told her he would think about all that she had said and would make a decision tomorrow. He kissed her and sent her off to bed. He had a lot of thinking to do this night.

XXX

The next day, they were all working to get the house back in order so that they could live there. The Captain had put on his civilian work clothes. He was clearing the leaves and debris from his yard. He fixed the mailbox, though there would be no mail delivered and he put the flag out on the porch, proudly displayed. He looked at it and it reminded him of his pride in the Navy and his part in it. He looked down and started loading the bags of leaves into the trash cans. His father came out and accused him of procrastinating so he would not have to go back to the ship and tell them he was not coming back. His heart was not in it, though he told his father how his children needed him, now that Darien was gone.

His father told him that his ship and crew needed him more. He said, "You are Noah and that ship is your Ark."

He told him that he wasn't the first father who had trouble leaving his children behind, but the others had done it. He stated as Ashley had the night before that no one else could lead his crew the way he could. No one else could keep them steady and keep them safe. Finally he relented and when he left them that day, he was once again in his uniform ready to return to his ship and his command. He gave the children big hugs and his daughter, Ashley, at the very last, stood at attention and saluted her father. She let him know how proud of him they all were. It was a tearful goodbye, but they were all sure he was doing what he should be doing and what their mother would have wanted as well.

When he got back to the ship, he found that some of the crew members had found family members alive and some had not been so lucky. He had to help them deal with their losses. God knows he knew how it felt, personally, but he had to be strong for them. He had broad shoulders and he was their Captain. He would be there for them and they knew it.

There had been so much going on before he had gone out to take his family home, that he had barely had time to think about Rachel. He had known he would have to confront his own guilt feelings about leaving her at Avocet, but thank heaven she was safe when Tex found her, though she would not have been for long, knowing the lengths that Granderson would go to get what she wanted.

He had been aware, when she was speaking with her mentor in Florida, that Rachel was almost in tears, but so many other calls were coming in at the same time from their outbound inquiries to the secret numbers they had been trying to reach, that he had not had a chance to speak with her personally. She seemed totally occupied in getting the vaccine doses ready for shipment to the various areas and did not seem to want to make time for him. He worried that perhaps she was avoiding speaking with him personally for a reason.

Now that he had his family situated and off the ship, he knew he had to speak directly to Rachel. The bond they had developed before Baltimore was very special to him and he felt his responsibility to her very strongly, indeed. He needed something she had and he was sure she needed what he could give her of himself as well. The friendship and closeness they had shared was something he had never felt before and he missed it, like he would miss air to breathe.

Rachel had been aware that the Captain had taken his children and his father to find out about what was left of their house so they could pick up some things and come back to the Nathan James. She knew the Captain was letting his family have his quarters for the time being and was sleeping in his cabin off of the bridge. She had not had a chance to speak with him alone with all that was going on. She knew he must be having a time dealing with his family as well as all of the situations that were occurring on the ship and off, that he was in charge of, including setting up the distribution of the vaccine.

Still she missed how he used to pop into her lab at the oddest hours, day and night. She missed him, even though she dreaded when they would finally be able to speak privately. She did not know how that would go, now that he had lost his wife. He must be devastated, though he was holding up well from what he was showing to the crew. Still she knew how much he loved his wife and how much pain he must be in now. Maybe he was not speaking to her personally for a reason. She felt guilt for his loss. If only she could have found the cure faster, he might have been able to save his wife. She remembered during the trials, when she was totally panicked and was stumped, until she finally figured it out. It was so clear once the solution had come to her. She remembered she had said, "How could I have not seen this sooner.?"

She had been working all day and she ran her fingers over her eyes. What she wouldn't give for a cup of tea. She went to the wardroom and made a cup of tea for herself. It was quite late and there was no one around. The lights were dimmed and she sat down at one of the corner tables and let her mind unwind a bit. She had not noticed that there was another person also sitting in the shadows at the other end of the room, watching her, his coffee mug still in his right hand. Rachel just sat there and she suddenly felt so alone. She really missed Quincy and Kelly and even Ava. She still had Bertrice who had popped in and there was Dr. Rios. Then she said to herself, "Why do I keep lying to myself? It is really him that I miss, with all my heart. Only he can bring me the solace that I crave, but maybe he can't bring himself to speak to me, with all he has been through and all of his responsibilities. How can I be important to him, except in my professional capacity? Oh God, I miss him. I miss him so much."

The tears came to her eyes and she wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and scolded herself for this self indulgence. He had so many other things keeping him busy. Was it any wonder that he did not have time for her in his life right now? He had just lost his wife. A wave of guilt racked her at that thought and a soft sob escaped her and she could not help it.

Suddenly out of the darkness from the other side of the room, she heard his voice, softly and full of concern for her, "Rachel, what is it? Why are you crying?"

She saw him emerge from the shadows and move forward toward her, coffee mug still in his right hand. She said, "Captain, have you just been sitting there in the shadows watching me, without saying a word? I know you have not wanted to speak to me and I can't blame you for that. I guess you were just going to let me sit here, all by myself, until I finished my tea and I left the room."

He came to the table and sat down, looking directly at her, his piercing blue eyes locked with her own, filled with great concern. "Rachel, I was so guilt ridden about leaving you at Avocet, while I went looking for my family without giving you a second thought. You were in such danger. I went back to find you as soon as I realized what danger you were in, but Tex had already found you. I have not been able to get over the fact that I left you in such a vulnerable position."

He placed his hand on her shoulder and said, "But, you are crying, Rachel. What is it? You know you can talk to me. Please let me help you, if you can ever trust me again."

Rachel was completely taken aback by what he was saying. Trying to control her tears, with little success, she said, "Tom, no, none of us blame you for what happened. Everyone was fooled by Granderson, even Alisha, her own daughter. You could not have known what she was really after and what she was capable of. I am so happy that you found your family, but I completely blame myself for the loss of your wife. If only I could have made the vaccine sooner. I really tried Tom, but I know how much she meant to you. I am so sorry, Tom. I don't blame you for not being able to talk to me. I am only a reminder of why you were not in time to save her."

She started to sob again. Tom took her by her shoulders and pulled her into a position facing him head on. He said, "Listen to me Rachel. I don't blame you for any of this. You did everything as fast as you could. It was not your fault. The wrong decisions were mine. I am glad that you don't hold me in contempt for putting you and my crew in danger, while I got my family to safety, but I will have to live with that. I felt so much guilt that I was afraid you really did not want to speak with me. That is why I said nothing so you would not feel you had to speak with me now, until I heard you crying and I had to say something to try to comfort you, to find out why you were crying."

She laughed, "Oh, Tom, I thought you did not want to speak with me and you thought I didn't want to speak with you. The reason I was crying was because I missed you personally. I was trying to give you time to deal with your grief about Darien, but I so needed to talk with you, to let you know how sorry I was and because ...because we had grown to have such a close friendship. We each helped the other deal with every crisis involving the cure. We have a bond, Tom. I don't know what it is, but I missed you so much. I didn't want to lose what we have developed, a kind of mutual support of each other. We could always talk and share our thoughts with each other and it has been like you have shut me out. God knows what you have had to deal with the loss of your wife. I understand that and with having your children on the ship. I can't even imagine how many directions you are being pulled. I was very selfish to miss you and want you to have time to speak with me, but I did miss you. That is all it was, self-pity and I am very ashamed. I gave into it in a moment of weakness. Please forgive me for even bringing it up."

He looked deeply into her eyes, eyes that were meant only for her with no distractions. "Rachel, I too missed speaking with you and sharing what you were feeling. I know you spoke with your mentor in Florida. I was afraid he would want you to come to work with him in Florida and I did not want to be away from you, because of the very bond you say we have together. You seemed so happy to hear from him. You were in tears. I could not speak with you about it because I thought you did not want to speak with me, but thank God we have it out in the open. We can speak with each other again. Please, know that you can always come to me. I know I have been very busy, but I will always find time for you, even if we speak late at night, as we are tonight. God knows I have needed to speak with you about my children and other things. I took my children home and I am going to leave them there with their grandfather. It is not safe on the Nathan James for children and it is unfair for me to have my children aboard and the rest of the crew cannot have their families on board. My own daughter told me in so many words that she wanted me to leave them and go back to my ship where I was to complete the mission, rather than staying with them here in Norfolk. She actually told me that Darien would not have wanted me leave before my mission was completed, even to be with them. Can you believe that, Rachel? My little girl was giving me hell about even thinking of staying with my family. She actually saluted me when I left to come back here today."

Rachel said, "Yes, I barely had time to speak with your kids and your father, but from what you are telling me about Ashley, she is her father's daughter and she is probably just as smart as you are. She can assess the situation and sees that this is where you belong for the good of this ship and for what is coming in the future. These people need you and God knows I need you, as well."

He placed his hand on her arm and said, "Rachel, I am trying to work through my losses as I know you are and we will have new challenges probably every day. Now that we are clear on why we have not really spoken much to each other over the last week or so, we can see how much we need to communicate with each other on a regular basis. Everything is alright between us, so let us make sure that we start talking to each other, like we used to do. I know that many things are different and we have things to work through, but as long as we can talk things out, we will be alright. What do you say, Rachel"

She said greatly relieved," I say yes, Tom. Please come to my lab like you used to do, even if it is late. Lets have tea and coffee together sometimes and I will come to you when I need to talk. I know we will be busier than we were before, but let us not lose our close bond. We will help each other get through what lies ahead.

He said, "Rachel, I also want you to know, I would never shut you out. If ever you feel like I am, let me know it. You have done it before. I care about you, Rachel and I would never hurt you intentionally. Remember that."

They left each other and each felt such genuine relief and happiness knowing they had not lost that special bond that they had developed. Whatever that relationship was, be it as best friends, in a sense, or as confidants. Anything more than that, at this moment in time, was more than Tom could deal with. He was still grieving for Darien and that hurt would not leave him any time soon. Time would tell what his relationship with Rachel would be in the future, but for now, he knew for sure that he was where he should be, as was Rachel. To know that she was there for him and he was there for her meant more than words could convey to both of them.

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This will be a multi chapter story, so by all means, please let me know with a review if you like it. It means so much to us writers to know what all of our loyal readers think about how we are writing about their favorite characters.