Ok my only excuse for this is that I had a very bad week and decided to write and this is what came out. I'm not sure that I really like it, but hey I never like anything that I have written so its all good.
Please let me know what you think. This is basically a little something written in Aya's (Ran's) POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own Weiss, though I wish I did but it will never happen. So don't bother suing because I'm just a broke college student so you won't get much.
Mask
They all say that I'm so distant. That I'm just simply don't care. I'm to wrapped up in my own world to know or care about how others feel about and treat me.
But really what do they know.
Here I am screaming but never being heard. I'm breaking inside and everyone just overlooks my pain. It feels as if my sanity is diminishing into nothing. But really who's to blame besides myself. I forced them into giving up and believing that this impenetrable mask is the real me. They no longer look close enough to see the pain behind these eyes. It no longer matters.
The others walk around as if nothing touches me, like I'm made of stone. Well if I am then I'm getting more eroded and chipped with every day that passes. It hurts to be treated like the outcast, to be left out while everyone goes out and does things together. Do they ever bother asking if I would like to join? Nope. Never. They just leave me here with their goodbyes and expect that I will still be here when they get back since they think I have my own things to take care of.
Each day that passes the more I just want to break down and cry, scream anything to be heard. Anything to be offered a brief moment of comfort, to just know that someone exists that still cares whether or not I'm here. Though in the end, I'm still at fault. I can't seem to find the courage to open my heart to let others in, to afraid of getting burned once they see the real me.
So really who else is there to blame? I have created my own void, one that I must struggle in everyday praying that one day someone will come along and pull me out of the dark abyss. But for now I will stay here in my shell awaiting my chance to be free from my cage and released into the warmth of someone else's love. Until then I will remain a broken mirror and only reflect to others what they want to see instead of reality. Until then the mask will remain in place.
Please find me….
My savior.
The End (?)
Ok this has been posted before but I found a few typos and mistakes so I fixed them and reposted. I think I will be continuing with this and seeing where it goes. First I plan on posting a few chapters in my other stories though. They have been sadly put off for WAY too long. Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Special thanks to Katten, Mistskeeper, tigermink, and Reina for reviewing the first time around.
carrothien