She grabbed at her hair, curled her hands into fists, and pulled. Stupid. She was so freaking stupid. How had she gotten into this mess? When had it escalated to this point? Then she saw his face. Ah yes, Mike. Mike the bastard son of a whore for betting that she couldn't go into the "haunted" castle at the edge of the woods and last more than one hour. Stupid. She was utterly and completely brainless, when had Lauren Malory's exclamation mattered so much? When had that tiny remark started to burn at her pride? She usually didn't care what her little posse said but they had to say his name, didn't they? They had called her a pedophile and she had laughed in their faces and told them she was surprised they even knew what that word meant. That hadn't bothered her, so what had?
Jacob was 16 and she was 17 but in all frankness he looked a bit more aged than that. Oh? Let's say maybe about 20? Yeah, that hadn't gotten to her. The fact that they had started to talk about him like some low life class charity case had made her blood boil sure but she was strong enough to keep her anger in check. What the hell did it matter what their status was? So what if he didn't have all the luxuries she had? Bella wasn't one to gloat and she wasn't too peachy about the whole money business. Her dad had acquired a hefty sum of money and with it a world of people that had previously ignored her came into her life, Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Angela, Ben, Tyler, and Eric to name a few. There were some good people in the group though, Angela was one of them. Sweet shy Ang and her loyal boyfriend Ben. Then there where the people she couldn't stand. Mike, Jessica, Lauren, and Tyler. Eric was alright but she didn't think too highly of him either. But we digress.
To Lauren's much spiced remark; she had tightened her mouth and told them all that they could kiss her ass. Not exactly in those words of course, she wasn't one to curse. Mike- in an attempt to diffuse the tension that was palpable- had suggested a game of truth or dare. They'd all agreed. Bella managed to avoid any embarrassing questions and dares. That is, until Lauren had to choose her next victim. Oh yea, she was getting payback. Anticipating this, Bella steeled herself and prepared for anything. Lauren was impossible.
She had asked her what she wanted: Truth or Dare? She decided on truth and then immediately tried to retaliate saying she wanted a dare once Lauren's wicked smile had started to grace her witch like features. But Lauren wouldn't budge. Surprisingly she hadn't been brutal. Bella was shocked but tried not to show it; maybe Lauren wasn't the tyrant she portrayed. She'd been comfortable since then and a little suspicious of the little looks Lauren had been giving Mike all night. She concluded that Lauren wanted a bit of change in her sexual life and she had pinned Mike as hers. The queen bee didn't really care about Jessica's feelings and Jessica would have to go along with it, Lauren had that much power over her. Jessica was sometimes a hopeless push over. Bella had become taciturn throughout the rest of the game. As much as she didn't like Jessica she knew that a person like her still had feelings. Once she saw Mike eye her as his next victim in this increasingly disturbing game of truth or dare she had almost blanched.
This wasn't about Mike or Lauren or maybe even Jessica. This was about her. Fate was cruel. There were only three more people in the group. Lauren, Jessica, and Mike, the rest of the small gang that they made up had left. Eric's parents had picked him up, Ben and Angela had driven home together and then there were four. Bella started to picture them all as the three little pigs and the big bad wolf. With one exception, she had three big bad wolfs and only one little pig. Care to take a guess on who played each role? Yeah, she was scared. These people were wild, maybe bordering on dangerous, they did anything and everything that came to their heads. They had the money for it. Bella suddenly had the urge to run home to Jacob and let her body be encased in his strong solid arms, his warmth, and his smell. She loved him and as silly as it sounded she had the feeling that she wasn't going to see him again for some time. She didn't know how right she was.
The dare that Mike had presented her with was a simple one, except maybe that she was terrified of woods in the dark and the possibility of what could happen there. He had dared her to go into the old Cullen Mansion. She'd tried to talk her way out of it at first, you know the usual stuff. There could be someone there, rapists, and homeless bums looking to scare a girl He had almost withdrawn his dare when Lauren had –Bella thought- seductively whispered in his ear and then to add to the hidden promise penetrated his ear with her tongue. Like most guys in her school, he had immediately pressed Bella to do just do it and get it over with so that he could go home get laid by the big and famous Lauren Malory. He didn't really say as much but he was extremely pushy after his little conversation with the drama queen. Bella wanted to get out of there faster than you could say bingo after that little stunt that Lauren hadn't had the courtesy to cover up. That's why she almost said yes. Almost being the operative word here.
Lauren mentioned her mother. Bella almost lost it right then and there. She knew what the whole town said about her mom, that before Bella had come along she was trampy, flaky, and that nobody expected any better from Bella herself. When she had caught wind of that piece of crap she'd done everything in her power to prove them wrong. They were wrong, her mother wasn't like that, she had died giving birth to Bella, she knew this but the thought of having someone soil the image of her mother drove her mad. She stood up roughly not saying anything. Mike thought that she had finally given in and was ready to go fuck Lauren. This was not the case; she'd left because she could no longer stand pretending that she supported these people and that she herself was in this group. She loathed the idea of being at such a low level. Hated it with a passion and in with her earnest emotions seeping out like hot lava she had walked away and into the woods. It was only until much later that she realized that her direction had unconsciously always been the Cullen Mansion.
Originally Isabella Marie Sawn, as was her full name, had walked away from the two scum's with a resolve to never speak to them again. She'd had enough, she entertained the idea that she could convince Charlie to let her switch schools, preferably somewhere on the rez where Jacob was attending. The thought made her smile and then she tripped. That's when the first thunder broke the sky. With sudden steel panic she had realized that she'd been wandering the woods for more then an hour never really paying attention to her surroundings. She almost slapped herself. Almost because just as the rain started to pour down she saw the mansion up ahead. Forgetting her fears she had started running like a mad woman towards what would become her home for the many years to come. Not that she knew this at the time or ever really, not until later, much later.
Standing now soaked from head to toe, she stared at the mansion. It loomed over her like a protective shadow. She was hesitating because she disliked the idea of going in there. Her original fears were coming back but as she heard yet another rumbling thunder brake the sky, her decision was made. She walked with great courage into the house.
The place was silent and oddly well kept; nothing looked like it was hundreds of years old. This house had been around for a long time. Everything looked like… it was still in the process of… decomposing. The thought made her fears come back. Not the old ones, no, these were the fears of a child, irrational and so simple that they were almost believable. This house was haunted. Or bewitched, thank your pick. Bella started to tremble and she convinced herself it was from the cold.
Back when she was at the tender age of seven one of her many fetishes at the time had been the wilderness at the edge of her house, the fact that she was extremely clumsy never nerved her. It only made her work twice as hard as any other kid on her block. Without telling her father (she was a very private person) she had singed up on one of those girls scouts programs that the town of Forks, Washington provided for kids who had nothing better to do during the summer. In this place she discovered all types of ways to entangle herself from a tricky situation and a little cooking on the side. At the time, the hefty sum of money hadn't made its appearance yet and that was one of the ways she had paid her way through. When her father discovered her little hidden agenda he promised to pay for most expenses and Bella, who had been getting small calluses on her hands heartedly agreed.
One of the cooks there, Susy, short for Susan had taken pity on her and started to converse while she saw that her small form was trying to scrub some dishes. They became fast friends and soon, Susy was throwing recopies at Bella faster than she could handle, but Bella loved to cook (she discovered) so she just let Susy talk her hearts desire away. On one of the many occasions that her father had picked her up thinking that she played in the small school playground (he wasn't aware she was paying in her own way to play on the grounds of that campus at the time) on the side of the big building Susan had walked with her. Bella was confused as she saw the small blush that spread over her fathers face, it was almost not noticeable and if anything it gave him more of a healthy look. It was love at her sight on both accounts. Susan had acted a bit strange too. Bella soon discovered the wonder that was love between adults.
Susan would coyly ask about Charlie and Charlie sometimes pressed for information on how things were going down there with her new friend Sue which was his own personal nickname for her. A month passed and Bella was flabbergasted that her father still hadn't asked her out on a date. One night while they were having some fried fish she told him that she should ask Susy out on a date, she would love it she said. Her father acted a bit surprised that she would bring up something like that so randomly but a day later she heeded her advice. The wedding was nine months later. Hasty I know, but what could the poor fellows do? They were, as the saying goes, madly in love.
The situation took some getting used to for Bella; she hadn't expected something like that to go so fast. She became even more of an introvert than before and concentrated solely on the purpose on learning everything the woods had to offer. Her fear of what could happen in the dark in those black woods would only begin to show its ugly head later. This was how she knew what to do when she discovered the small fireplace in that big old Cullen Mansion and that was precisely when the big thump thump started to appear on the second floor of the house.
She had tried to get the hell out of there as soon as the big and echoing footsteps started to commence their way across the whole floor above her head but found that the huge wooden door would not open the freak up. She panicked.
That's why she was now rocking back and forth in the small utility closet she found at a far wall, grabbing at her hair and wondering how the hell had she ended up there while at the same time cursing the high heavens for the inconvenience of rain that was bestowed to Forks, Washington every day. Lastly but they was surely not the least, she cursed Lauren Malory and Mike Newton for getting her so peeved that she had ended up here.
Hiding in a broom closet.
Of all places.
***
The thumping continued.
And just as it had begun, it stopped.
Bella cautiously got out thinking that maybe the door deserved another go, the old wooden floor beneath her creaked as she settled her weight on it and she stilled, wondering if the small sound had alerted anyone of her presence. The silence raged on. She continued to walk.
Bella had always been an avid explorer as a kid and surprisingly, unlike many other things that would soon loose their interest, the urge to always go hiking and exploring into that old forest that held secrets it couldn't reveal, only intensified as she grew older. Sue and Charlie were happily married by then and Bella had long since gotten used to their relationship. She never really learned to call her mother, she'd tried once and failed miserably, she had cried in Susy's arms that day, apologizing over and over. Sue had spoken to her about afterwards and told her that it was ok. And it was. Susan had found the daughter that -by some divine power- she had never conceived (even though Charlie and Sue tried sporadically). There were some complications. It hurt a little of course, Sue was only human after all, but she soon got over it. She knew that nobody could replace Reene and that even though Bella had never met her physically, her spirit was always on the look out for her mother.
Charlie never forgot Reene either, but he let go of her, and as time went by Sue filled his thoughts whenever he was working at the station. Those two were made for each other. On the day that Bella turned fifteen Charlie had given her a new compass that had her name engraved on it (the money was starting come in now) and Sue had given her a new set of hiking boots. After the small gathering with a couple of her friends and watching a movie, she fulfilled her last wish on the night of her birthday. She explored the woods.
Originally, she had tried to get her friends to come along but they had all refused, preferring a night out at a local restaurant than exploring woods that contained mosquitoes, green mold and squishy ground that only served to dirty your shoes. She decided to go alone. That same night, she learned never to venture into such a place as that without a pocketknife.
Starting at the edge and slowly making her way through the small path she had created herself every time she went into the woods, she entered the still night and the fortress of trees enveloped her. Her flashlight was the only source of light there; the small circle that it created allowed her to see some things.
It was as amazing as she had imagined, maybe even better. The animals created a chorus of sounds as she walked slowly over the worn path, her flashlight bobbing slightly and she finally felt at home. There was truth here, bare and honest. There where no parts to play, no facades to put up, no pretending, it was all raw. Isabella had been pretending for too long, pretending to be ok with the people she hung out with and for the completely encased time of one hour, she explored. She searched, searched, and looked around. It was a different world in its entity.
She didn't see the man that was watching her in the shadows.
He stalked towards her and silently followed her footsteps until her house was no longer visible. Then he grabbed her by the waist. Bella had only enough time to gasp before his hand forced her mouth shut. She struggled against him and they both fell to the ground with a soft thump. She fought restlessly; he started to move his hand under her shirt. Overpowered by rage she opened her mouth and bit his hand. He screamed out in pain and let go of her. That was all she needed. She kicked his pelvic area and then lurched forward tripping over her own foot. She reached for the flashlight just as he grabbed her again. She elbowed his face and struck the flashlight on his head. It broke. The man dropped lifelessly onto the floor.
She ran until she reached the edge of the woods.
Ran as if she was on fire, and in a way, she was.
She ran, tripped, scratched, and hurt various parts of her body but she didn't notice. Only one thought plagued her mind while she got away. She was sure that she had seen him drop like dead weight. She was sure she had seen his eyes close. She was sure she had heard a crack. She was sure she had smelled blood.
She was sure that man was dead.
Her legs couldn't stop.
When she got back home, Charlie and Susan where already sleep and she walked into the house. Paralyzed internally by terror, her insides felt cold and suspended. Dead. I just…. I just committed…. Committed….. Murder, her mind let her wrap her hands around this revelation. It let her accept it. Then it let her forget it. She did. The next time she woke up, she remembered the whole thing as a hazy nightmare. The event had been so traumatizing that her brain stored it away in her subconscious, until the day they found his body in the woods. Bella had been farther away from home than she had originally thought. The town of Forks never even suspected her. The guy was a convict on the loose anyways, he deserved to die. That was the first time she encountered true danger but definitely not the last.
After the incident, she tried to remain the same but something inside her had shifted. Immensely, she started to question her values, her way of life, and her ideals. What she stood for and what she believed in. That was a turning point for her. It was as if she had turned on a different face. A face that resembled her mothers immeasurably. Isabella Marie Swan, daughter of a catholic family became an atheist. She took up a different life style. In simple terms, she reinvented herself. The small town (like all small towns) started to gossip about her suddenly erratic behavior. She was impossible to comprehend and it was anyone's guess what she would be up to next. Charlie was proud of her and Susan was content. She'd feared Bella could always remain shy and taciturn on many events but this new Bella was confident, loud to a fault and always stood up for herself.
This Bella was refined and imperfectly perfect. She started to exist. People took notice, parted their way for her. That was how she gained the attention of Mike, Jessica, Tyler, Lauren, and Eric. That was why the stranger watching her at this very moment didn't dare approach her. Her atmosphere, the energy she emanated was strong and had a strange attraction that he could not resist but there was uncertainty on his side. Some primal instinct told him that she was somehow dangerous. But oh! how he wanted to go to her! She was the first person he had seen in over a hundred years, contact with the outside world, the necessity of it was what pulled him to her.
He approached her.
As soon as his hand made contact with her elbow, she shrieked so loudly that the loud thumping on the second floor ceased momentarily. Neither boy nor girl noticed. He let go of her as soon as the first shriek got out but she spun and smacked him in the face. A lucky strike, there was barely any light to see by.
He barely got in any words as she started to pound, slap, pull, and scratch at whatever her hands could get a hold of. His words were cut short by the pressure she exerted with every punch but he finally managed to capture her wrists and it was then that she finally stopped thrashing about.
The problem with the whole situation was that Bella was no longer in the castle. She was far off in some distant forest. Fighting for her life, and this time it didn't seem like she was winning. Tears started to prick at her eyes.
"Stop" she managed to croak out. The bronze haired man looked at her and noticed a blank stare. He knew that she was no longer here and resorted to the only thing he knew how to do when a person went into shock. He slapped her.
The slap was so powerful that Bella seemed to momentarily come back. The stranger she would soon come to know as Edward puller her to him until their faces were expertly close.
"Stay with me" he yelled. Neither man nor woman realized the double meaning in those words. At the time he only meant for her to "stay" in the real world, not where she had been 10 seconds ago. The meaning would eventually change.
"I… what? What's going on? Who are you? ...Hey… Let go of me!" As soon as the world she knew came into focus and her short questions ran out she moved onto the next thing. It was a virtue of sorts. Bella had always managed to prioritize. Edward would change all of that in time.
"Stop" he started to hold her down more strongly as she increased her jerky movements. It was a loose-loose situation.
"Stop" his voice went up. She didn't slow down.
"Stop" This time louder. She had somehow managed to untangle herself from their awkward embrace and slapped him. He partially lost it.
"Stop!" his scream resonated across the hallway and it knocked a small amount of sanity into her brain. Bella concluded her thrashes.
"I'll let you go but please don't try to beat me again"
"Why shouldn't I? You're the one holding me hostage here"
"Because you were trying to beat me!"
"You sneaked up on me!" she screamed back. With a small sigh he lowered his voice.
"Look, I had to hold you down because you went off on me there for a sec. I was worried." She froze at his words and remembered with too much vitality the scene she had just relayed in her head.
"All right"
He released her and true to her words she didn't try to pursue her beating tirade.
"Follow me" she didn't like the commanding tone in his voice but had no other choice. As he retreated into the direction of the fire, she followed.
