Leaving and Coming

Chapter 1- Love vs. Hatred

I don't own any of the Twilight books!

FULL SUMMARY

When Edward leaves Bella again how would things go? Would she stay in miserary or would things be different for this time she's pregnant. What happens when she gives up on love and finds someone who accepts her and her pregnancy and she falls in love with him. And most importamntly what happens when Edward comes back?

You know that one saying you don't know what you got till it's gone? The one your mother always tells you when you take things for granted. Well I, like you all, didn't pay any attention to her when she told me this.

I thought that I was different, unique, a person that stood out from the crowd for not takening things for granted, for cherishing things. But, yet I was wrong...so wrong. I was just another face in the sea of people that crowded the earth. There was nothing special about me at all.

I had realized that a person must cherish someone as if they would die tomorrow or in my case...leave.

--

Every morning back then, I used to see his face in my dreams or nightmares. I couldn't really decide which they were for they scared the crap out of me but, he was always in them.

I would get up, shower and through on anything I picked up. I didn't bother with outfit decisions anymore for it always reminded me of his shopping fanatic sister.

I would then eat breakfast and go to another uneventful day at school.

My friends ignored me for the most part but, it didn't bother me. Talking to them was just wasting my words.

I would then go straight home after school, do my homework, and cook my father dinner.

I occasionally did tidy up the house but, other then that I did absolutly nothing.

Sometimes I would lay on my bed and think about him. The first time he had left I would have felt depressed and I would feel like I failed him but, after the second time I felt a new feeling for him, one I thought I could never feel for him...hatred.

He had promised me a life full of happiness and him. He had promised to never leave me again we even had an agreement. I would marry him and he would change me into one of them.

I had always desired to be one of them. To live an eternity with beauty, smarts and him but, then everything changed.

I wasn't good enough.

--

I sat on my bed and remembered it crystal clear.

He had admitted it, to my face. He told me that he lied about loving me and that I was just like a cute, little puppy that a little boy recieves on christmas morning. For a while the boy will be enchanted with the puppy and spend all his time with it but, eventually the boy will lose intrest. The boy will want to do other things than stay home and take care of the puppy. He'll want to play with his friends and other toys. And soon enough the puppy will age and then...die. The boy will feel a little regretful but then the boy will just get a replacement and it will be as if the old puppy never would have existed.

I would cry whenever I remanenced this. Not for him but, for how pathetic I was. The puppy should have ran away from the boy, I should have ran away from him.

I tried to calm myself down now for it wasn't healthy for me or my body. I tried to drain the hatred out of my body. Each day the hatred grew more and more and I hoped with time it would eventually overpower my feeling of love towards him.

I looked around my room and my eyes would always land on my romance novels. How I loathed them now. I used to love them but, now when i read them I felt naucious and sick. How could anyone love reading about soul mates and true love. What a bunch of crap. There is no such thing as that, there isn't one person that you are meant to be with. You think there is but, eventually you realize that there can't be it's impossible. It takes a while for people to realize it and it will take them a while to but, eventually they do. I was an exception though, I realized this at the age of 18.

All of that is in the past now though and I have more severe problems now. It has been about a month since he left the second time and about two weeks ago I started to vomit every morning when I wake up, and my period is way off. It doesn't take a docter to realize what's wrong with me.

I'm not positive where my life will lead me next or what I should do about this situation but I do know one thing...vampires can get a girl pregnant.

Please R&R!!!!!!!!! Thanx!!! :D