I knew, and looked up to, Albus Dumbledore since I was eleven years old. He was wise beyond belief, but he was such a mysterious man. Why does it always surprise me to hear things about the former headmaster's past: the things he had done, where he had lived, the relationships that he had? The woman at Fleur and Bill's wedding had asked me if "I was sure I knew him at all," and now, instead of worrying about finding the horcruxes, I'm wondering if I actually knew Dumbledore.
Dumbledore was the one who told me why I survived Lord Voldemort's attack, but Dumbledore didn't tell me what my real role was in the fight against Voldemort. I was protected until the moment came when Voldemort had to die; then my life and my efforts didn't matter. I spent years trying to defeat the Dark Lord, unaware that his death would require my own end. Someone could have told me, Dumbledore should have told me.
He knew everything there was to know about me, and yet I never bothered to learn anything about his life. Why didn't he tell me about his sister or his brother? Why would he abandon his family? Was he "protecting" himself, or his allies, or me? I don't believe that he was "protecting me" by keeping secrets; He dropped me off at the Dursley's front door and watched me grow up in a place where I never felt protected.
He was the best headmaster Hogwarts has ever known; he was a friend to many, including me, or so I thought. Was anyone truly a friend of Dumbledore, or was everyone in his life just part of the plan to kill Lord Voldemort? Sometimes it occurred to me that he needed better judgment; he put his faith and trust into too many people that ended up betraying him. In fact, he was the one who took Tom Riddle from the orphanage and gave him an education at Hogwarts, where the boy only learned how to be a dark wizard. Did Albus really think that Tom would turn out alright if they took him in at school? Didn't any of the professors try to convince the headmaster otherwise? Even as educators didn't anyone think something was wrong with this man?
Maybe Dumbledore is to blame for most that has happened in the wizarding world. Did the Ministry of Magic disagree with other headmasters as much as they clashed with Dumbledore? Sure he's brilliant in his own way, but did he always think things through before acting? Did everything always go according to plan? What if they didn't? Dumbledore improvising sounds even more dangerous than his actual plans.
I'm still not sure if I knew Albus Dumbledore, but honestly, after everything we've been through, I'm not sure I would have wanted to know him at all. I would have rather known him before the rise of Voldemort. Although it's possible he cooked up all different kinds of trouble for magical folk. I would love to find that woman at Bill and Fleur's wedding so I could hear about what it was like to actually know Albus Dumbledore.
A/N: Random one-shot I wrote while I was bored from watching the Super Bowl. Not sure what I think of this, so let me know what you think!