A/N- So, I was in my mother's car after school, and I heard this song, Halo. I can't remember if it was on a CD or what, but it just made me want to write this story really really bad. Don't ask, because I have no idea why. Of course, it's a one-shot again, though I do plan on writing a longer fiction, actually, it's in the process of being typed up. And I'm sorry for that, but it probably won't be for awhile, because it's just something I can't do, post one chapter without having the whole story done… look what happened to Lovely Hart, I just can't do it. Anyway, maybe I should tell you that on the week of March break, I won't be around much. All week really. But I swear I'll be writing, just not be posting because were I'm going for the break doesn't have internet service. I know, it sucks and you're probably asking why I would want to go there, but at least I'm out of my small town. So… yeah, sorry for that. Oh, and sorry for the long title, I know how sometimes those can be annoying.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Setting: Takes place when Johnny died, and Ryan was about to hook up with Sadie and such. I didn't really like that part, because that's when Marissa got with Kevin, so yeah… I had to write this. It's what I think should have happened.
Save Her From That Burning House.
Ryan Atwood lay down on his bed, looking at the ceiling in the pool house. He mind was going in circles, which seemed to never end when he was with Marissa. Not like he really was with her anymore; he actually planned to break it off with her when she got over here tonight. That is if she actually made it here. Well I guess she could no longer possibly be with Johnny, but Marissa always seemed to be doing something else when he wanted to see her. He could no longer put up with that, he had to break it off, for himself, and her. He was ping ponging her back and forth and he felt terrible about it, but he couldn't help it, really he couldn't. He could barley hold her without flinching and pulling away and shimming back into his strong brooding shell. She had hurt him badly with Johnny, could you really blame him? Answer; no you couldn't. Well, he thought so anyways, but maybe it would be a different case in her matters.
He turned over and sighed, it was beginning to be a constant battle between his head. He had met Johnny's cousin, Sadie, and he thought that if he had the chance he could really have a relationship with her. But then again Marissa was his first love, and would always hold a place in his heart that no one could ever possibly fill. It was really frustrating him with the whole concept.
He grinded his teeth together when he saw beautiful tanned legs with white flip flops on, then a tap at the door. He had asked her to come, but now that she was here he didn't know what to say to her. He was half expecting her to call him and say she couldn't make it, but know that she was here… this was going to be a long night.
He got up and went over to open the door, and sure enough there was a slightly cold looking Marissa. She also looked very pale at the face, and he was adamantly concerned about her. She had always had a look of depression in her eyes, but this was different, something more. He just hoped she would take what he had to tell her alright. He couldn't recall of what he was actually scared of, besides heights of course, but he was terrified of Marissa. Okay, maybe not terrified of her, but that she was so unpredictable that made him a bit uneasy. She could flip out and take a swing at him, or she could break down in front of him and scream to the top of her lungs, or she could just walk out. All possibilities scared him to no end. If she took a swing at him, he would have to calm her down somehow, which he didn't think would be the best person to try and do it if that was the case. Or If she broke down bawling in front of him it would make him completely uncomfortable, and not know what to do, and again he would have to calm her down somehow. Or last but not least, she would just walk out. Where that might sound like the best situation, it was by far the worst. That meant she would walk out of that door, and out of his life, which he didn't know if he could handle. Again, this stupid constant battle was driving him insane.
He attempted to smile at her, but failed miserably, and she noticed. She walked in and sat on the bed, still not looking at him directly in the eye. Although even if she wasn't looking into his eyes, he could see that hers were filled up with and she was holding back tears. It pained him inside to think she was hurting. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't hurt her. Crap, there goes the battle again. He had to though, he couldn't put it off any longer. So he sat down beside her, trying to get it out that they needed some sort of break, grow.
As soon as he sat down Marissa went into hysterics, she was crying so loudly, he wouldn't be surprised if Seth could here her in the main house. She buried her head into her hands, but still continued to sob. He couldn't figure out why she started to cry, he hadn't even said anything to her yet. He ran a hand over his face, and put his arm around her shoulder; she took it away from her and stood up though.
The tears were still making a constant path down her pale looking face, and she looked like a wreck; still she seemed beautiful to him somehow. Lord, he really had to get this straight; he was breaking up with her. He sighed silently, and looked up at her, trying to make eye contact with her, but she wouldn't even look at him. Something was wrong with her, seriously wrong.
"Marissa, what's wrong?" He gave up waiting for her to tell him, it was driving him insane waiting for her to talk, open up. She just looked at his as if he was crazy. He guessed she really had no reason to open up to him, seeing as how they rarely spoke to one another about important stuff anymore. They were growing apart, and he couldn't refuse that fact.
She seemed to fight with herself for a minute, and then sat down beside him again, even if it looked against her will. She closed her eyes, sighed, and then bit her lip, something she always seemed to do now when she was around Ryan. She had no idea where to start to say she was sorry to him, and she just couldn't take it any longer. If it hadn't of been for him, she would probably be dead anyway, because she was close to doing it before. Once she actually had all the pills and everything, but then she thought of him and put them away. Basically she was trying to tell him that she was depressed, and wanted to thank him. She thought anyways. It was a lot harder then she had originally thought it would be, and she was just tired of it all. "I-I'm…" She broke down crying again.
"Shh, shh, it's alright," Ryan cooed her, and clung onto her body, trying to give her some sort of comfort only receiving a wet shoulder. He didn't mind though, he didn't mind doing anything for her. No, no he was breaking up with her that was that, there was really no other option. The only thing now, was that he wasn't so sure he could just leave her this time. Jesus, this was confusing.
"I-I'm so s-sorry Ryan," Marissa started, still hiccupping from her sobbing.
"Hey, shh," Ryan told her rubbing her back, but she pulled away and grabbed his shoulders. He wasn't used to this type of actions from her, so it surprised him and he flinched, she didn't seem to noticed though, either that or she chose to not care.
"No Ryan, it's not okay, because I do this every time to you. I'm not stupid Ryan; I know you were going to break up with me when you asked me over… I'm not going to let that happen Ryan, not this time! I hurt you, I know I did… but when I walk out that door this time, I'm not coming back." The tears were running down her face more rapidly now, and her voice was strong yet still on the edge of breaking.
Ryan looked at her, and his heart broke. How had she known? He hadn't told anyone, but he figured it would be pretty easy for her to tell, this was almost exactly how they had broken up before. He lowered his head in disgust towards himself. He was actually thinking of breaking up with Marissa? She said this time she wasn't coming back… and he didn't know if he'd be able to function normally without her in his life. Basically it came down to the question Sandy had asked him when it was Teresa and Marissa; if they were both in a burning building, and he could only save one, who would it be? He had picked Marissa of course. Teresa and he had come to the realization that their chapter in life had come to an end, and he was happy with Marissa in Newport. It was an easy answer, but he still didn't know. I mean, Sadie was a clean slate, free of any trouble, where Marissa had a lot of baggage, and was slightly messed up. When you put it that way it was an easy answer too… still Ryan wasn't sure. "Look Marissa,"
"No Ryan, I don't want to hear what you have to say yet. My best friend just died, and now you might be going after his cousin? That's horrible. She's my dead ex-best friend's cousin! I know I screwed up tons of times, and I have no idea how to make it up to you Ryan! If I could I'd do anything… but last time that wasn't enough to keep you from getting someone else pregnant! So, Ryan… like I said, if I walk out that door it's going to be the last time."
He looked back up to her… and she looked really pale and sick. She probably didn't eat forever but the look of her. Marissa was never one to worry about her weight, but when she was depressed, or when something went wrong, she didn't eat for weeks. It concerned him, and he felt like getting up and tucking her into his bed and getting her something to eat, then crawling in beside her after.
He suddenly closed his eyes and thought of Marissa and Sadie both in a burning house, and life giving him one chance to save one of them. Sadie was screaming at him and running towards him, while Marissa stood in the back corner silently crying waiting to die. He ignored Sadie's constant pleas for him to save her, and walked over to Marissa scooping her up and running out of the burning house right before the whole roof collapsed. He opened his eyes, and looked into Marissa's. However she didn't keep her eyes onto contact with his for long.
"Look Marissa, you're right, I did have the intention to break up with you tonight. But I realized something… no matter what; I would always save you from the burning house." He looked at her and she had a puzzled expression on her face, and he smiled. He stood and put his arms around her very lightly. She seemed to rock like she was dizzy, she needed serious help. He pressed his lips to hers softly, and then scooped her up like of what he thought, and put her in the turned down bed. He covered her up, then went to the other side of the bed and slipped in himself beside her. She rolled to face his chest, and snuggled into him. He lightly pulled her closer with his arm that he draped over her hip.
Soon after he heard her soft shallow breaths, meaning she fell asleep. That was quick; she must have really been tired. He wasn't quite that tired yet though, so he resorted to thinking back to the past year in Newport. While he loved to live in Newport with his new family, he missed the laid back lifestyle of Chino. Ask him if he ever wanted to go back? Answer; hell no. All his buddies would think he's whipped anyway. He wondered if he was… he didn't think so, but other people had told him he was before. It really wouldn't surprise him if he was, but all he knew, was that Marissa Cooper would always be the girl he would save from the burning house.
A/N- Okay, laugh it off… haha, it sucked I know. And don't ask, because I have no idea how I got this from the song Halo, but I did. Anyways, this would probably be my last fiction before I get a beta-reader to look it over before I post it. Please review!