Disclaimer: Half Life and it's characters are owned by Valve. I also took the chapter title and few lyrics from Moby.
Author's Note: This is me showing you how insane I am by taking on a new project I think is too big for me. This is very challenging to write, by the way. Enjoy. After some helpful criticism I split up chapter one into two parts, part one is no different except for that it ends a little sooner. Part two will be quite a bit different.

Chapter One - Part 1:
The Whispering Wind

I watched your dreams all slip away...

There's a hopeless place inside my heart...

I will watch the sky come following me...

His surroundings were a deep and endless blue. The feeling of peace that came with the simple color and that perfect smell from his surroundings were much different than what he was used to. Before, he only knew a poisonous landscape. One with a sky full of smoke and other pollution from the destruction that seemed to follow him.

Before the fields of rubble or lakes of toxic waste, he knew only steel walls under the hot barren landscape of New Mexico. The perfect place for their experiments that held the possibility of causing absolute chaos and destruction...

Those thoughts were not the correct ones to have when a person was in the midst of experimenting such a perfect day and so he let the sky consume his thoughts instead. That sky which was so deep, so blue, and so endless. Despite how pleasantly the sun shone down and warmed him, you could smell it in the slight breeze how the clouds that looked almost childlike in their perfection wanted so desperately to open up and let their warm rain quench the earth.

With that sky came countless possibilities and so much... freedom. It was refreshing, pure and intoxicating. It was enough to make him feel decidedly powerful.

Which was odd for at the moment he simply felt like relaxing, like appreciating the day. It amazed him how wonderful it felt to just rest, he had no idea why he was so tired.

In what seemed to be a past life, he was never overly fond of the outdoors and preferred his lab coat, charts, and diagrams to the possibility of getting a tan. As warm rays shone down on him, however, and he felt like he could easily fall asleep out there he made himself stay awake. Today was a rare day in its perfection and he would not miss it for what was left of the world.

He planned on enjoying every moment of this days serenity. It made him wish he had spent far more time playing outside than indoors at his desk. There was a lot of comfort in days like today, they assured you that Heaven was not so far away.

Lounging back with his hands behind his head, he wiggled his bare toes and smiled. There was no doubt in his mind he was being given a glimpse of Heaven.

Above him flew a little bird, and it was laboring fiercely to flap its wings quickly, so it too may enjoy the day and its sky. It was a good idea, you never knew when a beautiful day might take an ugly turn.

Someone giggled and he should have heeded the warning and ran for it but today he was indulging his lazy side. He soon paid for that laziness.

There was a loud splash and a second later he was drenched. Scrambling to sit up, his hammock decided it was not made for all that movement and flipped on him.

The laughter was deafening.

Not from him, no that laughter was girlish and loud. If anything it should be called a guffaw. Looking up from where he lay sprawled on the ground, he couldn't help but smirk at the sight of his wife and her little sidekick guffawing. The sidekick in question was kicking up water as she swam on her back, looking far too pleased with herself and giggling so much he feared the area around her might turn yellow.

Standing up, he made his way over to his giggling wife and tried to keep his scowl in place, but it was becoming hard to keep up the facade. His family's amusement was catching.

"Aw, don't pout Gordon," Alyx said between giggles. "You know the look doesn't suit you."

"Yeah Dad! Don't be such a baby!" The sidekick laughed before doing a somersault under water.

"A baby am I?" He asked, looking down at his wife. It must have shown on his face that he was up to no good because Alyx's eyes got wide and she started shaking her head.

"No no no no!" she tried to plead, but their daughter was splashing around in the water saying "Dad is a baby! Dad is a baby!"

Alyx's plea was drowned out by her own sidekick's chanting.

Bending, Gordon threw Alyx over his shoulder in one swift motion, the renewed laughter of his daughter egging him on and he ignored his wife's threats.

"What do you say, do you think she needs to cool off a bit?" Gordon asked his giggling daughter and she nodded eagerly, unable to speak.

"Gordon you put me down right now or I swear I will get you back!" Alyx threatened.

"It can't be helped Alyx, your daughter has spoken. It's in the pool with you." And Gordon threw her in. Or at least tried to, but he made the mistake he so often did with his wife. He underestimated her.

Alyx had a grip on his shirt still, and when he threw her she pulled him with her with a victorious laugh. Gordon thought he had been soaked before but it was nothing compared to this. Surfacing, he sputtered and caught his breath but two hands were pushing him back under.

Reaching forward, he grabbed his wife around the waist and pulled her under as well. Her grin warmed him and he sent her one with a lewd eyebrow wiggle.

She rolled her eyes and kicked so that she could come up for some air. Gordon was about to follow but he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he expected to see his daughter swimming towards him with that evil little grin she inherited from her mother, but he saw nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Passing it off as his imagination, Gordon surfaced as well and took in a deep breath.

Alyx and her little sidekick had already gotten out and were whispering. Smirking, Gordon climbed out and grabbed a nearby towel.

"Secrets don't make friends." He told them as he toweled off his hair.

His daughter turned to him with a grin.

"Mom wants you to watch my new dive, come on!" she said and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him after her. She wasn't quite strong enough to move him and Gordon raised an eyebrow at his wife.

"Does she?" He asked and Alyx merely shrugged, attempting to look innocent.

"Yeah, so come on!" His daughter tugged him with all her might and he finally followed her a few steps before stopping within a safe distance from the pool.

"I can see it from here, promise." Gordon said softly and that seemed to be good enough to her. She ran to the diving board and looked back with a grin, making sure her parents were watching.

"I taught her this one, she's been waiting for a day when you would be here. She's wanted you to watch her." Alyx was at his side and looking up at him with a small smile. Gordon pulled her to him and kissed her forehead.

"I'm not leaving again. I promise you that."

Alyx sighed contently and her smile grew warmer. As soon as it appeared, though, it was gone and she had turned her head away with a frown.

Gordon followed her gaze to the pool, all he saw was their daughter poised and ready to show off her newly acquired skill.

"What's the matter?" Gordon asked, turning back to her.

"Nothing, I just thought there was... I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but I must be seeing things." Alyx muttered, nibbling her lip.

An uneasy feeling was settling in the pit of Gordon's stomach.

"Are you going to watch me or what!?" The shout of their daughter rang through the air and they looked back at her.

"Wait - " Gordon began.

"I could have sworn - " Alyx was muttering.

"Here I go!" Their daughter ran down the board and jumped but while she did her flip in the air, Gordon went cold.

Now he knew what he had seen as the beast appeared in the water directly below their daughter and his fears were coming true.

"Chell, no!" Alyx screamed, but she had already jumped. It was too late.

No! Gordon ran, knowing no hesitation and he jumped for her. If he missed, he could still get her, he knew it.

Everything was so surreal and time seemed to slow down but he was so close, so close to saving his daughter... Alyx's scream was still ringing in the air even as his world went dark.

There was no more ground, no more sky. No more freedom.

There was only emptiness, and there was only him. His face filled the space in front of him as if Gordon was watching him on a large screen. A heady feeling was coming over him as he became entranced by those cold eyes, it was a feeling he had grown very used to.

Then those thin lips opened and they let out a a wheezy sigh before speaking.

"Doctor Free... man... is it?"

The thin lips stretched into a knowing smirk but Gordon listened. He wanted to know what he had to say, he wanted any information he could have.

"It's been... so long since we had... a chat." Gordon tried not to be distracted by his odd speaking habits or the way he seemed to hiss certain words at him.

"Oh it's no fault on your part I am sure but I believe you have for gotten your duty for you are side tracked... but if you can't get the job done..."

Gordon watched as the man looked elsewhere, behind him in the darkness. There was a sense of nervousness and worry in his stomach that he tried to keep away.

The man gave another wheezy sigh and spoke again at last.

"I know who will."

And then Gordon was confused and alone. Naturally.

The space surrounding him was dark but he felt enclosed, no longer as if he was suspended in an empty void alone and vulnerable.

As his eyes became used to the darkness he could just barely make out steel walls and shelves. Sitting up, the mattress he had been placed on squeaked loudly in protest and he froze, suddenly on full alert.

Someone had stripped him of his HEV suit and the feeling of vulnerability was back, he felt naked and lost without it and it disturbed him how helpless he felt without his weapons.

Pushing back the thin sheet someone had thoughtfully placed on him, Gordon placed his bare feet on the cold stone floor even though all he wanted was to lay back down and disappear back into the dream he had imagined.

There was no time for that, he was somewhere unfamiliar and he was unarmed. Standing quickly, Gordon paused as he suddenly began to feel light headed. It passed and he began his exploration of the room. A quick feel around the walls and he found the light switch.

For a second he was blinded and he squinted against the light. Soon enough, however, he could see clearly again and he explored the room picking up various objects as he went.

Dr. Kleiner had always told him his curiosity was his one and only bane, and true enough the urge to push random buttons had gotten him a scolding time and again in Black Mesa... but he was a firm believer in hands on learning.

Gordon was positive the bunker he was in was located underground. He had found the bathroom in what he thought was a small closet but he had quickly taken advantage of that rare luxury.

The mirror caught him by surprise. It was one of the first ones he had encountered since... since when? It was hurting his head to remember too much about Black Mesa and how long ago that must have really been.

A study of his face showed it clean and freshly shaved, his goatee was looking very neat indeed. Someone had taken quite a lot of care in cleaning him and while the feeling was refreshing... it kind of disturbed him too.

Turning around he looked at the corners of the room and tried to find a camera. Gordon knew they were sitting in a room not too far from here, sipping their drinks and discussing what to make him do first.

His eagerness in solving the latest puzzle, though, earned him a stubbed toe and he swore under his breath. Looking down to see what the hell had injured him, he laid his eyes on a rather familiar looking book.

Gingerly picking up the book with the faded title, Gordon took a seat on his borrowed bed and let the book fall open in his lap. The page it opened to had been dog-eared and bookmarked - obviously a page the owner found very interesting - but Gordon was not interested in the contents of this mysterious book.

What held his captivation was what the owner had decided to use as a bookmark.

His hand was trembling as he lifted it, but he needed to get it closer to the light. Just to make sure it was real and not another dream of his.

In his hand he held a faded picture, and though he couldn't make the background out very well he already knew it was taken in a bar.

And there were two of the dorkiest looking men saluting the camera with their well earned beers. The two looked more relaxed than Gordon could remember feeling but he had the proof right in his hand. Proof of happier times.

He looked very much the same in the picture, his trademark goatee and glasses and the camera had even caught a rare smile as well.

But seeing Barney was what made him shake in the first place, seeing him with all his hair the same color and wearing a pair of grubby Levi's, his untucked shirt and sporting a huge grin. He was forever caught mid laugh with his beer held up in the air like some prize.

I want this again. I want to get it back.

Gordon hadn't realized he had been smiling at the picture until his thoughts drifted to others. His smile was fading as he remembered what had happened before he had passed out, he must have had a concussion.

The last he could remember was Alyx crying over Eli Vance's body and the memory of it was making him feel cold.

Where's Alyx?

The sound of footsteps brought him out of memories and he stood up quickly with a few questions ready.

The door opened and Gordon backed away raising the book - Always thinking. Always defensive.

"Who left the light on? He was supposed to be resting!" Came a gruff voice and Gordon tried not to be too hopeful but he could have sworn it belonged to...

"Oh, Gordon! You uh, you found Barney's book I see." His nervous mentor stepped from the darkness into Gordon's temporary room and Gordon lowered the book feeling sheepish.

"We've been keeping a close eye on you Dr. Freeman." Dr. Magnusson had followed closely and Gordon was surprised to see an emotion other than irritation on his face. The man appeared nervous and worried. That was Dr. Kleiner's job. He was the natural worrier.

How long have I been asleep?

Instead of asking that, Gordon simply said "Yeah?" and wondered silently what injuries he must have sustained. He shrugged a little, honestly feeling fine.

"Yes, and I am sure you're lost without your HEV suit, but not to worry the two of you will be reunited soon enough." Dr. Kleiner assured him before his eyes moved down to what Gordon was holding. "Always curious Dr. Freeman, I see you've been snooping around Barney's bunk."

"Is he.." Gordon began to ask but Dr. Kleiner shook his head.

"Barney is... well he's keeping in touch." Kleiner said with a nod and Gordon was not convinced, but before he could say anything, he was cut off by Dr. Magnusson.

"Enough of this chatter, Dr. Freeman seems well enough to handle anything we might throw at him. Let's show him what he's missed." The irritability was back and the larger Doctor walked quickly out of the room.

"Yes yes, right away. Gordon, if you would just follow us."

He followed them in silence and waited for them to start bringing him up to date with nervous chatter - but instead they were quiet.

In fact the whole base seemed far too quiet. Usually he could hear Vortigaunts working somewhere or Dog causing trouble but never was it this quiet.

Gordon looked at the walls as they went down stairs and through doorways, but the walls were bare and he had nothing to occupy his curious mind with.

Just tell me Alyx is okay.

Tell me how long I've been asleep, what we're going to do about Mossman...

And what the hell is taking Barney so long?

Dr. Kleiner punched in the secret code no one ever trusted Gordon with and led the troupe into the room with so many buttons that Gordon's hands were beginning to itch just looking at them.

"Dog was the one who brought you and Alyx back after..." Dr. Kleiner began muttering under his breath. "Well that is he brought you two back and..." It was obvious he was becoming rather upset about what he was trying to tell Gordon.

Gordon nodded and whispered, "Right." Although he wished he could think of something better to say. Dr. Kleiner was dealing with the loss of a friend and Gordon wanted to find a way to destroy those damn flying slugs for the grief they caused.

"I can't find Lamarr anywhere." Kleiner said suddenly, looking up at the screen as he began to type something in. Dr. Magnusson was keeping quiet and sent Gordon a look over his monitor, a look Gordon was sure meant to keep his mouth shut. Not that a look like that was really needed.

"I never should have debeaked her, there is no way she'll survive on her own out there if she ran away."

Suddenly the screen flickered and Kleiner stood back to let Gordon have a better view. "There, this is the last message from Barney's camp."

Gordon looked up eagerly and he felt his hands grow sweaty when he saw how beaten up his buddy was.

"Hey guys, I had to send a message, damn thing won't connect me directly to you." Gordon watched how he struggled to breathe and rubbed a hand over his face. Hang in there man.

"We've fallen a little behind. Our train got hit and we lost a few people but we're pullin' through." Gordon noticed a few people carrying a wounded soldier behind him and tried not to worry. He was always worrying too much.

"Our supplies are kinda starting to run out and now we'll have to continue on foot but we're taking a short cut so we don't get spotted so easily. It's the one I took before. We'll probably even beat Gordon. Tell him to hurry his ass before we get there before him doc. See ya when I get there."

The screen went black. "This came last night but we were preoccupied with... with..." Kleiner for once seemed at a loss for words and sent Magnusson a pleading look.

Dr. Magnusson cleared his throat and finished for the other doctor, "We were studying the body of Dr. Vance when this came. Obviously we did not watch it right away and have not yet sent a reply."

Now Dr. Kleiner thought it was time to add something. It was easier when treating everything like the latest puzzle he had to study. "A thorough study of the body along with Alyx's description of what happened have given us the data we needed. We already know what killed... him. A Comine Advisor. Possibly the most dangerous creature any of us will encounter."

Gordon nodded, he had figured that when it used his mind powers against the three of them. Mind powers just were not fair in Gordon Freeman's book, it was cheap but at least it was another puzzle for him to figure it out. If he had time to figure it out.

"We believe they are nesting somewhere." Dr. Magnusson added though it was obvious his knowledge extended more towards rockets and bombs while Dr. Kleiner had all the information about portals and aliens and places to go while giving crappy directions...

Dr. Magnusson even looked out of place in their conversation.

"Correct." Dr. Kleiner nodded. "Dog followed their scent to the Northern cliff but lost it to the sea. Going North would make sense as a nesting place for them. It's a bit difficult to get to, you see?"

Gordon did not see but he could imagine. Swimming to places was definitely not his favorite thing to do these days... unless he had a crossbow.

"And when you find their nest, you must destroy them however possible."

"Which," Dr. Magnusson interjected, "will be no easy task to figure out as you probably already know."

"Yeah..." Gordon said softly. No easy task. There's an understatement for you.

"All we can say as of now is to avoid them as best as you can." Kleiner said with a nod and Gordon was hard pressed not to roll his eyes.

As Kleiner and Magnusson began to exchange looks, Gordon was getting the feeling he was about to be sent on another mission.

"Gordon, as important as finding the Borealis is - " Magnusson began.

"And Dr. Mossman... and the Combine Advisors..." Kleiner added.

"Yes... well... what Barney has failed to realize is that his short cut he took all those years ago is now days more dangerous than walking right into an Advisor's nest!" Magnusson's voice became gradually louder and Gordon almost felt like he was in trouble for some reason, but he was too distracted by what the angry doctor was implying.

"Well maybe not more dangerous than that." Kleiner said.

"It's close enough." Magnusson argued. "With his people running out of supplies they probably won't get any farther than a few meters!"

Gordon tried to block out their bickering. What are you thinking Barney? A shortcut? Seriously!?

"I need my suit." He said quietly and the two doctors bickered on, paying no attention to him. Gordon cleared his throat, the beginnings of anger settling in at being ignored once again.

"Regardless of all that..." Magnusson exclaimed loudly, turning to Gordon as he spoke, "The point, Dr. Freeman, is that we need your help again."

"Yes." Kleiner agreed and straightened his glasses. "Gordon, we made sure you would not wake up until you were healed and rested. You had a horrible concussion and with everything you've been doing lately we thought you would collapse without some proper rest!"

Rest? I must have been resting for days! Gordon thought, running a hand over his face at this news.

"But now we need you son, we've trusted you with countless of operations and you've earned my respect."

Gordon wondered why he was getting a speech now. Usually they just assumed he wanted to help out and he did.

"I don't need to be talked into helping Barney, arm me a bit and tell me what direction. I'll find my way." Gordon promised and wondered if he would be going alone.

They haven't told me a thing about Alyx yet. He thought, but bit down on his irritation.

"Good. Great." Kleiner said with a small smile, "Then I suppose it's time to be reunited with your suit." Gordon took the cue and followed the other doctor to the back of the room.

Again a secret code was entered and doors opened to reveal his trusted suit.

Kleiner walked away to his many screens and buttons to allow him some privacy, but Gordon hardly noticed him leave.

He stripped himself of the plain pajamas they had dressed him in. The only clothing he kept on before sliding into the HEV suit were his boxers and undershirt.

A stoic expression was on his face and he worked hard to keep it there. All he could think of was that last time he put this suit on, Barney was there making smart little remarks.

He had not met Alyx at the time and now the doctors were avoiding even mentioning her. It wasn't easy shaking off the feeling that something was very wrong. More so than usual at least.

Looking down at the gloves he now wore, Gordon remembered Dr. Kleiner's goofy remark.

"I see your old suit still fits you like a glove. Or at least the glove parts do."

Kleiner had always been funny without meaning to and never realizing it.

"Ahh there." Dr. Magnusson said when Gordon stepped back into the room. "That's the sight I'm used to. Those thin pajamas were far too plain for you."

Gordon did not say anything in response as he was not sure how to take that but he gave Magnusson a small nod all the same.

They had a combine power source and a few supply kits near the back table and he was quick to take advantage or those, it always paid to be safe.

"Gordon." Dr. Kleiner called from the back of the room somewhere.

"Huh?" He replied idly, sensing no urgency in the doctor's voice. He was almost done juicing his suit up. Maximum health and 75% armor. Good enough for now.

There was a loud crash and Gordon turned around quickly, already scanning the room for anything that could be used as a weapon - a crowbar, a book, a rock, a barrel full of flammable substances... anything.

What he found, however, was Dr. Kleiner sitting on the ground with the familiar looking gravity gun in his lap. Dr. Magnusson was already helping Kleiner up when Gordon got to him.

"Oh, that's a bit heavier than I remember," Kleiner said and struggled to lift the gun onto his workbench.

Gordon moved quickly to relieve the smaller doctor of the guns weight and took it with ease.

"Thank you Gordon." Kleiner said with a sigh and straightened his glasses. Watching the action gave Gordon the urge to straighten his own glasses as well but he was hardly aware of the urge until he was doing it.

"Barney is to the south." Dr. Magnusson said suddenly, always straight to the point.

"Right. Okay."

"Get him, and his people and come back. Going alone to the Advisors' nest is not an option but we know you can handle this." Dr. Kleiner reached under the table where his precious little pistol was. "I apologize for my lack of weaponry. The advisors destroyed most of your gear. Perhaps it felt you were the biggest threat, but all the same upstairs when you leave there are plenty of other supplies."

"Got it."

The doctors watched him expectantly and with an awkward nod Gordon turned to leave, hoping he would remember his way out.