A/N: Inspired partly by Kabuto's comment in Chapter 304 that people change and so has Sasuke, and Sai pretty much pointing out that people change but somethings are always the same. Control
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Sasuke was proud of his self-control, even if on rare, rare occasions he would lose it. (Like on the hospital roof. That fucking loser.)
When everything died, Sasuke's control kept him from walking up to the blue-eyed-bastard and saying 'hi' or something stupid like that.
Sasuke's control kept him from dreaming weak things like having someone care for and about him, like Sakura.
Sasuke's control kept him from mistaking Kakashi as family, with that one red eye and aloofness he once thought only blood Uchiha possessed.
That control, when he was little (innocent), kept him from crying a little, wondering why Father just ignored him... Or why Aniki was acting weird since he'd joined ANBU, especially after Shisui-san died.
Sasuke's control kept him in control, even when he was loosing it. He hadn't set the hospital on fire after he woke up from Aniki's punishment, after all. That was control.
But that utter, maddening lack of control that sometimes surfaced made him hope, in moments of half-sleep, that everything had just been a nightmare and when he opened his eyes and stepped out of his room Aniki would be there and so would Mother and Father... And maybe Shisui-san wouldn't have 'drowned'.
Of course, Sasuke's lack kept him from killing Naruto and his idiot ideals of hope and happiness and all that stupid stuff.
His lack made him say 'thank you' to the fangirl that loved his looks but actually did care.
That lack made him, for just a little while, made him think about really giving up Aniki and really living, like his Sensei said he should.
That lack made him forget Itachi... only for a moment... and put himself between Haku and Naruto and made him die for a few moments.
That lack made him forget Itachi... only for a moment... and care more about Naruto's safety than revenge.
There had once been more lack of control... when he'd stumble to the Uchiha Manor or the secret meeting place under Nakano Shrine and simply cry. Of course, that lack was gone by the time he was ten (mostly) and by the time he was thirteen he never even went to those places, much less want to (although he couldn't figure out why in the world he would dream of those places).
And by the time he was fourteen he had filled in those lacks (mostly). Whenever he'd dream of Kakashi, or Sakura, or (god forbid!) Naruto, he'd spend a couple moments to make sure he forgot those dreams, even though sometimes when he was pouring over a scroll and his concentration slipped he would remember little snippets of those dreams; like Sakura's exuberant smile, or Naruto's not-really concern (too much like Sasuke's not-really concern for his taste), or Kakashi's ability to know when Sasuke needed space or when he needed to be included.
And of course by the time he was fifteen he no longer felt that maddening desire he'd felt since the day everything died just to walk up to the blue-eyed-bastard and say 'hi' or something stupid like that (mostly).