"I'm sorry to tell you this, miss Berry, but you have a brain tumor."
Kurt and Santana were going to be pissed. Worried, but pissed nonetheless. Rachel left New York without so much as a phone call, text, or a note letting them know where she would be. That's the thing, though. She didn't know where she was going. She ran, barely packed a bag and took off. She hadn't been sure where she was going until she bought her plane ticket. Finn. He was the only thing really keeping her from falling apart. She kept picturing his smile. The way he laughed. She had to get back to him, at least see him.
The auditorium at McKinley High was where she found herself. She sat down, letting her legs swing back and forth from the edge of the stage. She took in the red, velvet seats. The memories flooded back, but she didn't cry. No, she hadn't even shed a tear. Not yet, anyway. She knew it was inevitable, though. The tears would come and people would find out. But for right then, all she wanted was to take in the auditorium and maybe sing a song before her entire world fell completely apart.
"There is a procedure that can be done to get rid of your tumor permanently," she sensed a 'but' coming, "but, it's very high-risk. There's a fifty-fifty chance that you will wake up from it."
She took a deep breath, needing to sing out her pain.
"Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start
They tell me I'm too young to understand
They say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes
Well that's fine by me"
She closed her eyes tightly, fighting to keep her tears inside. She tried hard, but in the end it was just no use. She let the tears flow down her cheeks; opening her eyes to the one place she had always loved. The one place she felt safe and happy. She didn't notice anyone coming inside, too caught up in her song to care. Finn made his way into the auditorium, mentally preparing for the long Glee rehearsal ahead of him. Her voice stopped him in his tracks. He would recognize that voice anywhere. He looked up from his phone, seeing an obviously hurting Rachel singing her heart out. It was heartbreaking, the song. He was used to hearing it as more of an upbeat tune, but when she sang it… it truly broke his heart.
"So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost
"So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost
I tried carrying the weight of the world
But I only had two hands
I hope I get the chance to travel the world
And I don't have any plans
Wish I could stay forever this young
Not afraid to close my eyes
Life's a game made for everyone
And love is a prize
So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost
So wake me up when it's all over
When I'm wiser and I'm older
All this time I was finding myself
And I didn't know I was lost
Didn't know I was lost
I didn't know I was lost
I didn't know I was lost
I didn't know (didn't know, didn't know)"
She took a deep breath when the song was over, putting her face in her hands.
"I thought I heard a familiar voice."
She removed her hands from her face, startled. She shouldn't have been, considering it was a large auditorium and literally anyone could just walk in at any time. She looked until she saw who it was that had spoken. Rachel wiped away her tears, feeling more than a little embarrassed that he had been the one to catch her.
"Finn," she smiled softly at him, taking in his appearance. He smiled back, despite the fact that they hadn't talked since Mr. Shuester's wedding, "hi."
"Hi," he laughed, making his way towards her. He stood in front of the stage, "not that I'm complaining, but why are you here?"
"Just needed to see this place again, it's been too long," She looked around, avoiding his eyes.
"Rach," his voice was softer now, causing her to look down at him, "what's up?"
She hated how easily he could tell something was wrong with her. Well, she had been crying so it really wasn't hard to put it together that something was wrong.
"Nothing," she didn't know why she lied.
He gave her a look, causing her to sigh in defeat. She squirmed anxiously, not wanting to tell him but at the same time needing to. Telling him would make it real. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that.
"Do you remember what you said to me at the wedding before we sang our duet?" She blurted, looking up from her hands and at him.
"You and I both know how this things ends, I don't know how, or when… and I don't care where you're living or what dope you're shacked up with. You're my girlfriend. We are endgame. I know that. And you know that."
His eyebrows went up in surprise, a half-smirk made its way to his handsome face as the memory came back to him, "Yeah, why?"
She looked up at the lights in the auditorium, squeezing her hands together in her lap.
"I believe what you said, about us being endgame. I love you, Finn. You have to know that." Her voice broke as she spoke. She looked at him, eyes filled with tears. She looked at him with so much hurt in her eyes that it nearly made him stop breathing. It reminded him of when he took her to the train station.
"Rachel," he said slowly, looking her straight in the eyes as he stepped closer towards the stage, "what's going on?"
She took a deep breath before patting the spot next to her. "Come sit."
Finn did as he was told, quickly making his way onstage to sit by his ex-fiancé.
"Rachel—" he started, turning to his right to get a better look at her.
She shh'd him, putting her finger over his lips before looking into his eyes. Those eyes she loved so much. Rachel moved her finger away from his lips and used her hand to caress his cheek. She just wanted a moment with him that she could remember before she told him. He leaned into it, a curious look on his face. She would have grinned, but the hurt in her was too great. How do you tell the love of your life that there was a high probability that you weren't going to make it to 20 years old?
"Finn," she started, removing her hand from his face but he captured it with his own, startling her. Her intertwined their fingers, squeezing her hand as a signal to go on. Their hands fell, landing on Finn's lap. She couldn't say anything, because the lump in her throat had finally made its ugly appearance. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, letting a tear fall down her face.
"You're scaring me, Rach," He muttered softly, squeezing her hand again, "tell me what's going on."
She opened her eyes, looking into his, "Can I just say a few things first?"
He nodded, but his eyebrows furrowed in both concern and worry for her. She took another deep breath, wiping at her face before looking at him with a small smile.
"I broke up with Brody a few weeks ago," She started, squeezing his hand. He looked at her in both shock and joy. She chuckled, bumping his shoulder with hers " You don't have to hide it, Finn. I know you're happy. He was a jerk."
"Glad you came to that realization," Finn snorted, not being able to help himself despite the seriousness this conversation was taking.
Rachel rolled her eyes at him, "Anyway, he's been gone for weeks and… I keep thinking about what you said to me at Mr. Schue's wedding." She paused, making sure he was still listening, "I thought about picking up that phone and calling you so many times, but something's stopped me."
"And what's that?" He wondered out loud, curious to see what she was going to say.
She shrugged, looking out at the empty auditorium. Memories flooded back from her and Finn's first date and all the way to when he proposed.
"I was scared, I guess," she finally admitted, looking over to see Finn looking surprised, "I get scared, too, Finn."
"I know," he muttered, before teasing her, "just never thought you'd admit it."
She let out a laugh, shaking her head and looking back at him. He grinned, causing her heart to beat faster than normal. Then, she remembered why she was telling him all of this.
"I was scared that if I let you back in…." she paused, gauging the his face before continuing, "that you'd just leave me again."
"Rach…" he trailed off, unsure of what to say, "I was trying to do what was best for you, you know." He paused, holding up their intertwined hands, "is this… what you want?"
"It's always been what I've wanted, Finn." She said softly, kissing him on the cheek. She lingered, causing Finn to grin. He was finally feeling complete again after being without her for so long. Rachel opened her mouth again and he could feel a 'but' coming. He leaned back, looking at her in curiosity.
"There's something you should know, though… before you decide you want to be with me."
"Okay, nothing's going to change my mind about us, but" he spoke quickly, just wanting to get whatever it is she had to say out in the open, "what is it?"
Rachel looked away, sniffling back tears. Finn noticed, using his free hand to move her face towards him.
"Babe, what is it?"
She looked in his eyes, "I love you, okay? Just remember that."
"Rach—"
"I have a brain tumor, Finn."
AN: So… there it is. My first Glee fic!