Yo... it be mah first Luna story! Yeah, man!
It's as one shot about Luna's life.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling! Rock on!
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When the patchy sorting hat had been placed on top of Luna Lovegood's dirty blonde head, she'd been worried about the microscopic smuntalbin plant that lived dark, warm areas, preferably inside pointed hats.
Hello, dearie... my, my, you have pretty hair.
'Thank you. I'm afraid you're bald, so I can't return the compliment.
The hat chuckled. Yes, that is true. What house do you belong in? You're quite... interesting.
'Oh, yes,' Luna replied. 'I am. But I have to ask you something...'
Hmmm?
'Does any smuntalbin currently reside in your tip?'
Smuntalbin? My dear girl, what can you mean? Smuntalbin? I'm afraid I've never heard of it... is that those little pixies? Because I can assure you that none of those live in here!
'Excuse me, but I'm in fear for the safety of my scalp, and all you can do is babble!'
The hat sighed. If it had eyes, it would most likely be rolling them. Let's get back to the point, shall we?
'The only point I'd like to get to is whether or not you contract a deadly disease from a dangerous plant!'
What is your name? Luna?'I'm taking you off! I don't want my head to bleed.'
Just as the girl reached to peel off the would-be dangerous headware, it replied, I DO NOT CONTAIN ANY SMUNTALBIN! Do not take me off, or you will not be sorted.
'Okay,' Luna replied, satisfied, although she had no idea what all of this "sorting" business was. 'So what is the point of me wearing you?'
The hat merely chuckled again, and it was silent for awhile.
When she heard "RAVENCLAW!" explode out of the hat, Luna was confused, but headed toward the table that looked the most interesting, just as she had seen other do.
Unfortunately, it was the Slytherin table. She smiled and sat down next to a boy with white-blonde hair before she was pulled up and dragged to another table by an older girl, who was quite unattractive.
She was then chastised for not paying attention. The girl talked on and on, about how she was a prefect, her name was Penelope, but Luna wasn't really listening. When Penelope was finished, Luna asked her if smuntalbins lived in the sorting hat. She didn't quite trust it yet.
Penelope looked at her strangely. "Eat food."
Luna smiled and nodded, and shoveled a large helping of bake chicken onto her plate. Obviously Penelope wasn't the brightest of the bunch (she had just yelled in snatches of barely understandable English, and then responded in the form of a two word sentence), and hadn't read the latest edition of the Quibbler.
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She learned later, of course, about the different houses. Ravenclaw was for the book-wormy geniuses, Gryffindor was for the brave-slash-show-off-y, Slytherin was for the rude, annoying Voldemort worshippers, and Hufflepuff was for the dumpy yet sweet ones.
Luna had her doubts about the intelligence of some of her fellow Ravenclaws, but she tried her best to make sure Ravenclaw accommodated even the stupid.
To her, school was pointless. Really, her mission was to rid Hogwarts of poisonous or dangerous creatures. That was what her mother and father did, in writing the Quibbler, and she continued the tradition.
Outside of classes, Luna didn't have many friends. Sure, a few in her year asked her to study with them in the library, mainly to learn how she got such exemplary grades. They left soon after, however, when they discovered that Luna did not study.
When they asked her questions, she'd merely answer with a statement about how they shouldn't wear their collars like that, as it attracted bugnorfers. Or if they wanted her to quiz them, she'd ask if they thought the article about kumblepuds on page four of the Quibbler was accurate enough, because Daddy had only seen one once.
She participated in parties that the girls had in her dorm, mainly because of her hair. They'd braid it, unbraid it, and try out as many hairstyles as they could think of on it. She would teach them how to paint toenails and fingernails with polka dots and stripes, the way her mother had taught her. She'd only mention the opfulyt once or twice, just to make sure the girls didn't hold the nail polish bottles too close to their faces. Everyone knew that opfulyts jumped out of nail polish bottles and wormed their way into your nose.
But when they thought she'd fallen asleep, when really she was counting all the possible entrances for bugnorfers to get in with her eyes closed, they'd talk about how strange Luna was.
Outside of classes, Luna didn't have many friends. Sure, a few in her year asked her to study with them in the library, mainly to learn how she got such exemplary grades. They left soon after, however, when they discovered that Luna did not study.
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People called her "Loony," of course, but what was to be expected from beings much less intelligent than herself? She believed Marietta, a girl with a severe acne problem, had invented that name, and it had stuck.
Luna didn't care very much, though, because she had learned to let insults slide off of her. Why let them stick? What did that do?
Besides. Lumberlings with deadly poisons were attracted to rudeness.
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Luna had never had a boyfriend either. She'd asked boys out a few times, but it had never really worked out.
Like Jackson Pollock a few weeks ago. He'd bumped into her and immediately apologized, then walked her to class. "You're really pretty," he'd said. She'd thanked him, and smiled. The next day, she asked him if he'd like to come on an expedition with her and her father this summer, to track the Crumple-Horned Snorkack. He'd politely declined, and Luna hadn't seen him since.
The other boys she'd asked out on dates hadn't been as courteous as Jackson. They'd snorted, stared at her funny, muttered "no" and been on their way.
Ginny Weasley, a girl in Gryffindor, was the nicest anyone had ever been to Luna. She'd even consider them friends.
In the past year, she'd also met an assortment of people who were nice to her. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, and Neville Longbottom. Harry was the chosen one, the one who defeated Voldemort in the beginning, but he was incredibly annoying at times. He liked to yell a lot. Hermione was a whiny, over-reactive book worm, who cared about nothing but grades. Ronald was just... there. He had red hair, and he seemed to blush quite a bit.
Neville, however, was quite nice. He was clumsy and forgetful (who knew why he was in Gryffindor), but Luna liked him. He was nice.
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"Neville," Luna asked, as they met up on their way to the Great Hall for lunch. "Do you like me?"
Neville blushed. "Um... uh... yeah, Luna, you're my friend."
"Oh." They continued their walk.
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"Neville," Luna asked again. "Do you like me enough to go on a date?"
Neville's eyes widened. "Er, Luna, um..."
Luna stared at him inquiringly. "Yes."
"Good."
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Er... this was
going to be completely different, and it's definitely not how I
thought I would make it! I like it though. Pleeeease review!