Author's Note: Hey guys. Yes, I know; another Malec story. I cannot help it though; I am just in love with this couple! JThey are so cute!
Prologue: Unconditional Love
Magnus Bane… That name has so much meaning to me. It brings a variety of emotions to the surface, varying from love and hatred, to anger and sorrow. I have never felt anything so strong, so pure, as what I feel for him. I didn't know love like this could exist; something straight out of a fairy tale. He had – has – my heart, and my soul. My world revolves around him, and existing without him is hell on earth. He is my everything.
All I'd ever wanted was love and to know that it actually existed in this hateful world, and I found it; or at least, I thought I had. But he never trusted me; he refused to tell me about his past, saying that it was unimportant; insignificant. How can he blame me for wanting to know what shaped him to be the man I love? All those "insignificant" details matter to me, because they are a part of him, and I love all of him. Yet, I risked everything; my family, my friends, my essence, just to be by his side; to wake up next to him and fall asleep beside him every day. It never seemed to be fair that I risked so much for a man I barely know, but I couldn't help it, and I don't regret it. I love him. Unconditionally.
However, it hurts to know that he never trusted me, that he would believe Camille's twisted truths and not even listen to my side of the story. But then again, perhaps he never actually loved me. Perhaps I was but a distraction, a toy to entertain him with that he could discard when he got bored. Maybe he was glad that he could use my visits with Camille as an excuse to break up with me.
Or perhaps… maybe this was all my fault. Should I have had more faith in Magnus? Is that what lovers should do? I mean, maybe I shouldn't have pried into Magnus' past, but I couldn't help it. I just wanted to get to know him. That may have been selfish of me though. Is that how he views me now? A selfish, untrustworthy faggot? Maybe that's what I am…
My heart has never experienced such pain. Every breath, every heartbeat aches; hurts as if I am slowly being torn apart. It only gets worse as the days go on. I know he will never take me back, no much how I beg, apologize, and try to get him to see my side of all this. I also know that I can never love again after loving him. Deep down, I am aware that he is, and forever will be, my one love.
So where do I go from here? I can't imagine continuing with life without him; to act as if he had never existed. That would hurt too much. Yet, I also know that I cannot just dwell on it for the rest of my life either. Perhaps death is my only true escape?