Hi, this is my first story posted on so I hope you enjoy. There are a couple of minor spoilers for Echo's & Sunday, but nothing major. I was inspired to write this after reading The Atlantis Handbook. Hope you enjoy.

Things You Probably Shouldn't Say or Do

While on Atlantis

By Jezza

Hi, I'm Specialist Jeremy Bingley, formerly of the SAS. Since I've been living in Atlantis, I've done a couple of stupid things. This is my ever growing list of things, which you probably shouldn't say or do, while living in Atlantis. Trust me, they all seemed, like a good idea at the time, well so of most of the things that I've gotten into trouble over. Some of them though, are the reasons why I've gotten to know, some of the people here, better.

So, let's begin.

Number 1 – Do not make any reference to a possible relationship, between Dr Weir & Colonel Sheppard, if front of any Military personal, not stationed on Atlantis, especially Colonel Caldwell.

Yep, my timing was perfect, or shoddy, depending on how you look at it. I hadn't realised that Colonel Caldwell, had just entered the room, well I yelled out, "Bloody Hell Sheppard, just kiss her already. We all know that you two are dating." Yep, how stupid do you think I felt? What made it worse, was the fact that SGA-1 was about to go one a four week break. Thanks to my big mouth, I had to join Major Lorne's SGA-2, till they had there break, which was still, two weeks away.

Number 2 – Do not play Paintball, with Wraith Stunners, through the whole city.

Aha, that one was mad fun. We were all bored out of our brains, while on our break. So, I suggested that we should play paintball, with Wraith Stunners. You know, good training exercise, while fun at the same time. Dr Weir was not impressed, when she found out, while Sheppard & I ran through the control room, Wraith stunners blasts flying at each other. Highlight of that, leaping over the balustrades near the DHD, while shooting at Sheppard. Some of us, got forced to babysit the scientists, as punishment, while others, inventory duty. I had to babysit Dr McKay, while poor poor Ronon, had to babysit Dr Zelenka, on the mainland.

Number 3 – Don't play slog the live Wraith Grenade

Ok, that was pure stupidity. Lorne & I were bored (as you might of guessed, me & boredom, don't mix), so I suggested, how about hitting balls into the water. Only problem, is that all we had, were Wraith Grenades. So, we were happily mucking around, just hitting them, when Lorne (not my, for once) thought it would be more fun, if we slogged LIVE Wraith Grenades, instead. So, we spent the better half of an hour, slogging live wraith grenades, of an empty balcony. It was funny to find out how many people ended up watching the blasts, & thinking, "What the hell?" It was going well, until I mishit one. I don't think I've ever ran so fast in my life. For those who have watch Cricket, & seen them hit it straight up in the air, well, that's what happened. We blew up a balcony, so as punishment, I had to become the scientist's personal refreshment collector, & what made it worse, was that I couldn't use a transported. I can't remember the number of coffees I had to get them.

Number 4 – Don't mention Colonel Sheppard's ex-wife in front of Dr Weir.

Aha, my luck never seeks to amaze me. I can survive Wraith Attacks, but when it comes to my mouth, well I always time it badly. It happened similarly to when I made the comment about John & Elizabeth relationship in front of Caldwell. Except this time, it was in the mess hall, not Dr Weir's office. Once again, I didn't realise that Dr Weir, had entered the mess hall, when a said loudly, "You had a wife? Since when did you have a wife? That might explain, as Rodney puts it, the Captain James T. Kirk Syndrome." Picture the tears in Dr Weir's eyes, the raw anger on Sheppard's face, & the look of pure horror on mine. I know I said that I don't think I have ever ran as fast as I did when Lorne & I blew up the balcony, well if that was me running, then I must of been sprinting, cause I bolted out of the mess hall, with Sheppard, hot on my heels. He didn't end up catching me, beat sure as tried to beat the hell out of me, when we sparred that night.

That's it for now. Maybe I'll tell you, but that's it for now.

Specialist Jeremy Bingley

What did you think? I hope you like it, & if you would like me to write up a story for each of them, tell me, because I would like to.

This is my first story involving Jeremy, & there is a whole back story to why he is on Atlantis, which I will get to. Think Wraith Scout Ship, reaches Earth, & crash lands in the Australian Outback. Tell me what you think of him, because he seems to be a cross between Sheppard, & Ronon, though he was originally created for stories based around Matthew Reilly's characters, especially Shane 'Scarecrow' Schofield, & Jack 'Huntsman' West Jr.

By the way, if you would like for me to keep going, & have ideas or plots, please feel free to tell me them, cause I have one or two stashed away.

Well thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, & please review

Jezza