[A/N: this is my first try at this so cut me some slack. Let me know whether i should continue. I went a little OOC. Intended to be funny.]
Edward, Jasper and Emmett are sitting in the living room.
Emmett: Hmmm...i wonder where my bitch is.
Edward: *raises an eyebrow*
Emmett: I'm gonna go find Rosalie. Bye Edwardo! *runs off*
Edward: *sighs* i wish he wouldn't call me that.
Jasper: Aw but it's cute! *hugs him*
Edward: ... ew. *moves to the other side of the sofa*
Jasper: You know you love my hugs Edward. i can feel the emotion flowing from you.
Edward: sure you aren't feeling the wrong emotion?
Jasper: well what other emotion could there be?
Edward: never mind.
Emmett comes downstairs looking happy.
Emmett: Another one sucks my dick. *sings to 'Another one bites the dust' tune*
Edward: What...the...fuck?
Jasper: well someones horny. okay, can you please stop cos you're passing your horneyness onto me. it's contagious.
Emmett: ROSALIE SUCKED MY DICK! HA! *runs out the door*
Edward: i really didn't want to know.
Jasper: Phew! least my boner's gone.
Edward: *moves further away*
Jasper: It's not my fault! it's the emotions okay?
Edward: Don't blame others emotions for your mistakes.
Jasper: *crosses arms and pouts*
Carlisle enters.
Carlisle: OMG, BOYS! Jasper: Woah, tension.
Carlisle: I'm getting old.
Edward: Da-
Carlisle: I can already feel the wrinkles! -holds face-
Edward: Ermm..dad-
Carlisle: I wonder what i'll look like as an old person.
Edward: that's not even possible.
Carlisle: OMG, WHERE DID MY YOUTH GO?!
Jasper: along with your humanity i guess.
Carlisle: I'm dying already, every second i get closer.
Edward: Hey! Was you spying on me and Bella at prom!
Carlisle: Carlizzle out! *runs out the room*
Jasper laughs and Edward silences him with a glare.
Jasper: Where's your sense of humour edward?
Bella: *walks in the room* Edward, where's renesmee?
Edward: i dont know. Maybe she's playing fetch with the dog.
Bella: *confused* what dog?
Edward: We call him Jacob.
Bella: Hey! he's my friend don't be mean.
Edward: bella, he stinks.
Bella: maybe he does, but that's a bad reason to hate someone.
Edward: hate is a strong word.
Bella: how strong? can it beat emmett at arm wrestling like i can?
Emmett: I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY!
Bella: sure.
Edward: i'll listen out for her thoughts.
Bella: Okay.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -At La Push Beach-
Renesmee: You do realise i will get in trouble for sneaking off with you?
Jacob: *shrugs* if it wasn't for your parents i'd kidnap you.
Renesmee: Huh? Murderer!
Jacob: not in that sense Nessie. -slaps forehead-
Renesmee: In what sense can kidnapping be good?
Jacob: So you'd be with me forever.
Renesmee: i like the sound of that!
Jacob: Maybe if you hurry up and get old we can do that.
Renesmee: Erm..if you haven't noticed im 16.
Jacob: Oh yeah...they grow up so fast. *wipes tears from his eyes*
Renesmee: *rolls eyes*
Jacob: Hey missy! your eyeballs will fall out if you keep doing that.
Renesmee: You know you sound just like my mum.
Jacob: Aah bella, i remember when i was in love with her.
Renesmee: What?
Jacob: Nothing.
Renesmee: Ok.
Jacob's phone rings.
Jacob: Hello?
Bella: Where is my daughter?
Jacob: With me. Why?
Bella: She needs to come home. i have something to give her.
Jacob: Which is?
Bella: When she gets home you'll find out.
[A/N: so there it is. Review please, and let me know whether to continue.]