Disclaimer: Don't own.
AU-ish. Wrong sequence of events, some untrue. Strange sentences, many repeated words.
I know this is nonsense. Just needed to post due to the lack of AsuKira.
Read.
It's cold. It's so very, very cold.
Beneath the cover it's freezing cold. Kira hugs himself, trying to keep warm. He tries, he tries, he tries to heat himself, to make himself feel better, but it doesn't work.
Because the one he needs most isn't there.
Athrun isn't there to hold him, isn't there to hug him, to warm him up and to make him happy and calm. Kira cries, he sobs, trying to muffle his whimpers but it doesn't help. So he tries to turn to Birdy, the machine Athrun gave him, but it doesn't soothe him like Athrun does. It just made him worse, because it always reminds him of Athrun, his eyes, his green eyes, the same colour as it is.
When Athrun isn't there, he's weak and vulnerable and hurt.
He needs Athrun, but he can't, he can't go to him, he has to help his friends, kind and caring friends and the others on board, and the civillians. He can't betray them, can't leave them, so he fights, he fights Athrun although he doesn't want to, doesn't wish to, and hurts himself in the process.
Fighting Athrun made him so weak and helpless that he wants to cling to someone, just someone, anyone who comes to him.
And when Flay comes, he's happy, happy that he can find comfort in someone, ease himself, even if it's just awhile, just a little while, he's happy. She touches him, hugs him and kisses him and when he imagines that it's Athrun, it made him a little better. She's angry, Kira knows, she is, but it's okay, it's okay because he needs her too.
But it's not Athrun, so it's different, and she will never cheer him up like he does.
But nevertheless, he has someone.
And then he's being thrown away, cast aside, Flay doesn't want him, no, she has Sai, and he's alone, alone again.
Loneliness hurt him, it hurts, it hurts so much.
It hurts Kira too much that he cries, weeps. He wishes for Athrun to be there, he needs him by his side.
Then there's Lacus. Lacus, pink, pretty hair and beautiful blue eyes like crystals, skin white and silky smooth like flower petals. She reminds him of Flay, and her deeper, bluer eyes, her actions, looking at him, gazing, holding him.
She's perfect, pure and pleasant, gentle and soothing when she sings with her clear voice, she sings to him, makes him feel better.
But she's Athrun's fiancée, and it's not right, it's wrong. It's wrong to meddle in people's relationship. So Kira shuts himself away, keeps a distance even though he meets the girl all the time, he helps her escape, brings her back to Athrun even if it hurts him, hurts him to know that he has someone he loves.
Because it means he won't have a chance, no, never.
And he's hurting again, hurting all over and his heart aches, but he couldn't blame anyone. They're perfect for each other, they're such a perfect match, don't break them up, it's not right. But it pains him, upsets him all the same.
Then Cagalli is there, patting him on the back, she's there, comforting, even when she's a loudmouth and sometimes rough and persistent, she's nice. And she treats him like he's younger, smaller than she is and it makes him better.
But it wasn't enough, because she still isn't Athrun.
And she's Princess of Orb, and his sister.
They were twins, twins that were separated, now together again. It's good to have her as a sibling. She's kind and good and lovely although she acts like a tomboy, being brave and fighting, stubborn all the time.
When Cagalli and Athrun are together, his chest tightens, hurts, and feels like his heart is being twisted. And he sees them with each other, faces happy and smiling and cheerful laughs are there, it hurts him, his chest is in pain, it's squeezing him like it did when he found out Lacus is Athrun's fiancée.
He quietly sheds tears, tears of pain from fighting, from not having Athrun by his side, tears of having blood all over his hands, not being able to protect, failing to save people. It's okay, he thinks, it's okay, I can't cry, I can't trouble, worry the others anymore. It's okay just to have Athrun as his best friend.
Then Athrun is kissing him, tongue inside his mouth, and he feels warmth. Warmth all over me, and he thinks again. It's okay, because I have Athrun with me now. They're in each other's arms, limbs tangled and fingers intertwined, tears running, trailing down their cheeks but they're happy, glad. Kira snuggles deeper, makes himself comfortable even when he already is. He's perfect with Athrun.
Under the cover it's warm. Warm, he's inside Athrun's arms now, he's not cold anymore.
It will always be warm, warm, and never cold.
End.
Please review.
Yes, yes, crappy I know.