A/N: I was kind of surprised that I couldn't find any fan fiction utilizing this song… it seems so perfect for Sara. I don't own any of this… the characters belong to CBS and, well, you know the rest. The song is "Boston" by Augustana. If you haven't listened to their music go listen to it now… well after you read and review this, that is! Per usual, this was another one of my late-night inspirations so nobody has done any beta work… so sorry if it sucks royally.s Flashbacks are in italics.
In the light of the sun
Is there anyone
Oh it has begun
Oh dear you look so lost
Eyes are red
And tears are shed
This world you must have crossed
You said you don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
you said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeah
Essential yet appealed
Carry all your thoughts
Across an open field
When flowers gaze at you
They're not the only ones
Who cry when they see you
You said you don't know me
And you don't even care
Oh yeah
you said you don't know me
And you don't wear my chains
Oh yeahShe was so tired of it… of all of this. The shit she had dealt with since she was thirteen… since that night, the one that haunted her dreams. She was tired of the court visits, bouncing from foster home to foster home, of being a burden to those around her. But, most of all she was tired of the looks: the ones that were a mix of pity for what she had been through and fear, fear that she might be just like her mother. For months after the incident, she heard the murmurs as she walked by.
"Assholes," she thought. "What the hell do they know? They know nothing about me, about what I have been through."
And it was true. Nobody bothered to try and get to know her. They all just assumed. And she pretended that she was okay with that, that it didn't bother her. And she convinced herself that she didn't care. After all, she had no interest in associating with people who would assume the worst of her simply because of her past. They knew nothing about the burdens, the chains, that she bore.
She said I think I'll go to Boston
Think I'll start a new life
I think I'll start it over
Where no one knows my name
I'll get out of California
I'm tired of the weather
Think I'll get a lover
And fly him out to Spain
I think I'll go to Boston
I Think that I'm just tired
I Think I need a new town
To leave this all behind
I Think I need a sunrise
I'm tired of a sunset
I hear it's nice in the summer
Some snow would be nice
In the past three years she had thrown herself into her studies. She used them as an escape. And they had finally paid off. She was graduating at the ripe, young age of sixteen… she was a year and a half younger than the second youngest person in the class. And, to top it all off, she was graduating as the class valedictorian.
In a couple months she would be out of here, away from this place, away from the wary looks of her peers.
Yes, in a couple months she would be out of California and across the country. She would be in Boston, at Harvard. She would be in a place where people wanted to learn, just like her. She would be with her intellectual equals. And, best of all, she would be amongst people who didn't know her past, people who wouldn't look at her like the people in California did.
She could finally start a new life. She could be normal. Hell, maybe she would even find someone who could love her, in spite of her past. Even if she didn't, anything would be better than here.
Oh Yeah
You don't know me
You don't even care
Oh yeah
Boston
Where no one knows my name (yeah)
no one knows my name (yeah)
no one knows my name (yeah)
Boston
Where no one knows my name
Sara Sidle had thrived at Harvard. Finally, she had been able to be the person she always knew she could be… the person who hid in libraries and classrooms in high school. Instead of seeing her past, the people here saw her as one of them. She wasn't just some young, naïve geek, she was their equal. She had thrown herself into not only school, but into the social scene. She had friends. And yes, she did find herself a boyfriend… several of them actually, one of them had actually taken her to Europe for their one year anniversary.
It wasn't until now, years later, that she realized how much she was kidding herself then. Yes, she fit in, but they didn't accept her in spite of her past… how could they look beyond something they knew nothing about. Even Billy, the Europe guy, never knew. There were times when she came close to telling her friends, but she never did. How does one even initiate that conversation? "Oh hey guys, by the way, my mom killed my father when I was thirteen, after he abused me on multiple levels for years." That is definitely a conversation killer. So she hid her past, never really trusting her so-called friends and lovers.
She looked over at the man lying next to her, and smiled. She had finally found what she was looking for in Boston: she had great friends… people who would accept her and love her… they might not know about her past, but, with his help, she was getting closer to being able to tell them about her past. Hell, if she could trust these people with her life, she could trust them with her past. And, she had found him… someone she had told about her past and he still loved her. Someone who looked at her not with pity and fear, but love and adoration. The night she told him was probably the scariest night of her life. But, he didn't judge her… he just hugged her and told her he loved her. And that felt good… amazing actually. She was broken out of her reverie by his sleepy voice… God he sounded sexy when he was groggy.
"Sara, honey, everything okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, baby, just thinking," she replied.
"About?"
"Boston. And you."
"Umm, okay. Any particular reason?"
"No, no reason. Go back to sleep, baby, we don't have to be up for a few more hours."
"Okay, if you are sure. Good night, gorgeous."
"Good night, handsome."
Just as she was drifting to sleep she heard him say something.
"I love you, Sara Sidle."
"I love you too, Tony Vartann," and, with that, she fell into a peaceful slumber, her ring-clad left hand splayed across his chest.
Sooo, what do you think? I know it's not the ending people might expect, but that's why I did it. I miss Vartann… he was hot. And yes, I will be updating my other Sara/Vartann fic eventually for those of you who are interested. I have been super busy… right after the holidays I took the GRE and then started my first full-time job. And plus I am applying for grad school and all that fun stuff. So yeah, "The Day Before You" will be updated, hopefully in the near future. But, in the mean time, review this and I will love you forever!