Breaking Down and Letting Go
By: xXxDaughteroftheKingxXx
AN: I'm back again. And yes, with another Hunger Games story because that is my current obsession. I've read over part of the first one and all of the second and third, and the series has bumped its way to the top of my book list, tying with Percy Jackson.
Anyway, so there's this pairing that isn't canon at all, but it's completely adorable and probable, at least in early stages. You all can probably guess who this pairing consists of: Primrose Everdeen and Rory Hawthorne.
They're both the same age, and I think if Prim hadn't died, they would've been adorable together. Of course Suzanne Collins just had to kill off her... and Finnick... and Boggs... and practically every other character...
Moving on now. So, I wrote an angsty story featuring Rory. Yeah. I actually like this story, so I hope you guys do too!
Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games.
It's been nearly six years since the war has ended when he is finally allowed to go back.
He's eighteen now, and he's been begging his mom and his brother to let him go back to 12 since he was fourteen years old. Of course, both stubbornly refuse, his mother being more gentle than Gale's flat reply of, "Absolutely not." He remembers huffing indignantly at his older brother—the very same one that was tortured just to keep the family alive. He has to admit, he did feel guilty for snapping at him, but he had to say goodbye.
Luckily, things work out with Gale, and he agrees to allow Rory to return once he's at least eighteen and old enough to fend for himself. He's nearly fifteen when Gale decides this, and there is no use in arguing, because Gale is as stubborn as a mule. So, he waits for three long years, saving up money from random jobs here and there, and here he is now, back in his home.
It looks much better than it did last time he saw it. Of course, that was when it was on fire from the bombs... Still, the rebuilding process seems to be completed, and from what Rory can tell, it looks almost exactly like it did before it was destroyed. One thing, however separates this new 12 from the District 12 he knew. There are no Peacekeepers, no Capitol overruling them and making sure their lives are miserable. He has to grin at that.
His first stop is to see an old friend—Katniss Everdeen. He makes his way to Victor's Village and knocks on the door of the house he remembers to be hers. When she opens it, her jaw drops, and it takes everything in him not to do the same. Katniss is... well, to be frank, gorgeous. He briefly remembers that he had always thought she was pretty—off limits, but still pretty—but now... she is breathtakingly beautiful.
"G-gale?" she stammers, though he knows that she must know that he is not Gale. Gale would have been much older, though Rory grudgingly admits that he does like quite like his older brother did at this age.
"Rory," he corrects with a slight smile. "Hey, Katniss."
There's even more shock from the older woman, who seems to be fairing better than the slightly insane, burnt(in more ways than one), broken girl who left District 13. A voice from inside calls, "Katniss? Who's at the door?"
It's a masculine voice, which means that it must be one of these two people: Peeta Mellark or Haymitch Abernathy. Since the voice is void of slurring and annoyance, Rory puts his money on the voice being from Peeta.
A familiar blonde-haired, stocky figure appears next to Katniss, and Rory smirks inwardly. Blue eyes look confused, then surprised, and Peeta says to Katniss, "Who's this?"
Katniss has seemed to gotten over her shock, and she sports a small smile. "Rory Hawthorne," she introduces. "He's Gale's little brother, and one of Prim's friends."
Rory can't help but flinch, not because it isn't the truth, but because he has not been referred to as that in so many years. He wishes so badly that he could see her one time—her long blonde hair and her blue eyes that were clear as day. He misses her so much that it hurts.
Peeta smiles warmly, no signs of malice in his expression. Rory has to smile back, because Peeta is awfully nice to the brother of someone who almost won Katniss's heart.
"Nice to meet you, Rory," Peeta offers his hand in a friendly gesture, and Rory takes it politely. "What brings you back to District 12?"
He looses his voice as he realizes that Katniss is right there, and he's not sure he wants to resurface old feelings of bitterness from Prim's death. So, instead, he manages, "Oh... just thought I'd visit... home. That's all."
Peeta falls for it, but Katniss studies him carefully. He can feel himself sweating under her gaze—or maybe it's the hot June sun—and at long last she says, "Well, come on in, then. Peeta's in the middle of making lunch, and it's hot out here."
Rory is tempted to decline—after all, he was intent on fulfilling his purpose of coming back to 12, but he can't tell Katniss or Peeta that. So, he nods and follows the couple inside, choosing to ignore the ring on Katniss's right ring finger. He decides that it is best to let the couple tell Gale that, rather than himself.
They catch up over lunch, which is deliciously made by Peeta, who obviously does most of the cooking around here. When Rory asks when the wedding is, Katniss purses her lips and tells him to check the invitation when he gets home. Peeta jokingly adds that he can't believe she forgot her own wedding day, and Katniss swats him playfully.
They look happier than he has ever seen them.
Eventually, all three are finished, and Rory stands up awkwardly, thanking them for their hospitality and promising to keep in touch with him. He also adds that he'll be there at their wedding for sure, and Katniss's face brightens.
"Make sure everyone is there," she tells him sternly, "and I do mean everyone."
They both know that she is talking about Gale, and Rory gulps, nodding hastily. He doesn't want to cross Katniss or Gale, but he knows that neither of them will hurt him majorly. Still, that doesn't help the intimidation factor.
After goodbyes and a surprising hug from both of the adults, Rory sets out for the woods that are no longer off limits. He's glad for that fact, because he would rather not get shocked by the fence, even though he knows it too was destroyed.
It takes him a while because he gets lost, but it helps to find some flowers along the way. Her picture feels heavier in his pocket, and with a grieved heart, he manages to make it to the Meadow. The Meadow where they buried all the lost ones from District 12. The Meadow where she should have been buried, had her body not been completely burned to ashes.
His heart aches at that thought, and he drops to his knees in the middle of the Meadow, tears stinging his eyes. The dug-up roses—primroses—feel oddly heavy in his arms, and he suddenly feels void of strength and unknowing of what to say.
So, he sits there, his face buried in his hands, and cries quietly. He cries for all the lost ones, the ones who died at the hands of the Capitol. He cries for the ones who sacrificed their lives for the greater good. He cries for her, because he misses her so much, and it's not fair. But most of all, he cries for what could have been with them, had she not been killed. Too many times has he thought of the possibilities between the two—the chances that they never got.
He feels like he just wants to curl up into a tiny ball and die, just so he could see her again, but he knows that if he did, Prim, no matter how innocent she is, would kill him in his afterlife. It takes him a long time to regain his composure, but he does and stands up.
He takes out the miniature shovel that he has tucked into the pocket opposite of the one that contains her picture, and begins digging tiny holes for the primroses. He's sweating profusely underneath the blazing sun, but he does not complain. No, he would never complain if she was involved, because for her, he's certain he would go to the Hunger Games and back.
Eventually, he has planted a small garden of evening primrose in a circle. He removes a small water bottle and pours it over the plants, hoping that rain will sustain them further. Then, he takes out a picture frame containing a picture of Prim, looking ever as pretty, and places it directly in the middle.
Her blue eyes seem to watch her as he stares at the picture. He can almost imagine her giggling at him, saying, "Well, Rory? What is it? Tell me," and making his resolve crumbling into nothingness. He has never been able to say no to Prim; he just couldn't. Prim was, is, always will be his best friend, and he wishes that he could just talk to her one more time and have her reply.
But that's just too much to ask.
So, instead, he sits down in front of the picture and smiles through tears. "Hey, 'Rose," he says, because everyone calls her 'Prim' and he had long since decided that he would rather call her Rose, to be original. "I've missed you."
And that begins a long discussion as he fills her in on what she has missed, talking to her as if she had never gone to the Capitol that fateful day, as if she had never been killed. He laughs with her through the tears, because no matter what circumstance, Prim has always been able to make him laugh.
He still longs for just one reply, one acknowledgment that she is still here, watching over him. None comes after half of a day sitting out in the sun and talking with her. He wants to stay here forever, talking with her, but he is beginning to become hungry(though hunger is something he is used to) and he knows that the family he is staying with would be worried if he didn't show up before nightfall.
"Well, I'll just go," he says finally, getting to his knees. Prim continues to smile at him, holding onto that stupid cat like it is everything she has. "It was nice talking to you, 'Rose."
His heart tugs at him as he walks away, almost as if begging him to go back and finish his mission in 12. But had he not done so already? He came to honor Prim and say one final goodbye. He has done that, but it still feels like he hasn't fully resolved things.
Rory turns back, standing between the Meadow and the forest, and slowly, he lifts his left three middle fingers to his lips, then towards the picture of Prim. A soft, "I love you," escapes his lips, and the tears begin again.
He runs away, tears blinding his vision as he stumbles through the forest, tripping and falling occasionally. In no way does he have Gale's soft tiptoe; in more ways than one, he is more like Peeta. The sun is setting, he's tired, crying, and unsure of where he is, but he continues to run, far away.
He doesn't know why he's so upset. It's not like Prim could reject him; she was dead, after all. But just that thought of never knowing if she loved—or rather, liked—him back made him shudder. He didn't want to end up like the man at the Hanging Tree. He wants an answer, but he knows he'll never get one.
But even with that upsetting realization, Rory can't help but feel the strangest sense of peace overwhelm him. It's like a burden has been lifted off of his shoulders; a burden that he has been carrying for many a years. He knows that that can only come from confessing to Prim—or rather an embodiment of her—that he loved her.
From that point on, the feeling of being free of the unknown burden, along with a reassuring sense of peace stays with Rory. He returns back to District 2 a few days after his confession, and like Katniss had mentioned, there is an invitation waiting at home for him. After much persuading on his part, Gale and the rest of the family travel down to 12 for the big wedding, and consequently, Katniss reveals that she is no longer angry at Gale. She admits that for a long time she was, but also that she has forgiven him and wants him in her life again. Gale agrees, and Rory watches as they partake in a friendly hug—their first in years.
Things seem to get better after Katniss and Peeta's wedding. Rory returns back to District 2 with the rest of his family, where he announces that he's decided to move to District 12, where Katniss has offered a place at Victor's Village with Peeta, Haymitch, and her. Hazelle and Gale are both hesitant in letting him go, but eventually Katniss is the one who convinces them to let him.
He lives in District 12 for the rest of his life, meeting a girl who was also in his class that survived the bombings. The two begin to fall in love, and at the age of twenty-three, Rory proposes. They are married by twenty-five, and have children just a few months before he turns thirty.
Throughout his entire life, Rory thinks of Prim, though not so much in a romantic way after he meets Talia. True, Prim will always hold a special place in his heart, and he will always love her, but he is married and loves Talia as well.
Often times it still hurts to think that he is living life with his Prim, but the wounds begin to heal and close up. There are still times where he breaks down and cries in front of Prim's picture, which has been oddly preserved, and all those times, Talia is there to comfort him.
Rory eventually lets go of Prim, knowing that he will never be able to have her, but he knows that she is watching after him. She must be happy that he is happy, rejoicing in whatever part of the afterlife is happy.
Because that is Prim, always looking out for others above herself, even in death.