A/N: Why, hello! I'm pretty excited about this story. But you don't really care about that, do you? So get to reading! Now! Imperio!

Voldymuffin

'LILY LUNA POTTER! If your arse isn't down these stairs in the next oh-point-five seconds, I'll make you wish we'd lost the war and you'd never been born!'

'I'm coming, Mum,' Lily quickly descended the staircase with several bags. 'Sheesh, don't have a thestral.'

'Isn't it a little insensitive to talk about the war like that, Mum?' Albus asked.

'I was in the war,' she retorted. 'If anyone's earned the right, it's me.'

Harry entered the room with another large bundle of luggage. 'I think we're about ready. Where's James?'

Ginny looked around frantically. 'But…he was just here! James? JAMES?'

'Hold your hypogriffs!' James called from upstairs. 'I'll be down in a minute.'

Harry glanced at his watch. 'We were supposed to have left seventeen minutes ago.'

'Yes, I'm well aware of that fact,' Ginny snapped. 'Ron just sent his Patronus. They're waiting with the Portkey.'

'Guys, I've had an epiphany,' James announced, extending his arms far above his head as he came downstairs.

'You've decided to move to Norway and join a clan of trolls?' Lily suggested, inspecting her nails.

'James, we've got to-' Harry eyed Ginny, concerned, as her face was as red as her hair and she looked ready to burst at any moment.

'No, it's great, Dad! Just wait for it,' he beamed, and pulled a mysterious package out of his pocket. 'I thought, while we're in Romania, we should have some kind of project!'

'James, there's a reason for summer. That's when you don't do projects,' Al groaned.

James silenced him with a flick of his wand and a spurt of blue sparks. 'My bad, little bro,' he offered with a questionable level of sincerity. He cleared his throat. 'This project is…a baby Nargle.'

Ginny momentarily stopped fuming, and four pairs of eyes stared skeptically.

'Er, James I think you've been hanging around Mrs. Scamander too much.'

'No, Lils. This stuff. Is legit. I promise. I've got a baby Nargle in here. And she's so, so, precious, aren't you, my little Voldymuffin, yes you are!' he cooed to the package.

'…er, what did you name it?' Harry asked, knowing he must have misheard.

'Oh, right,' James said casually. 'Her name is Voldemort, but I like to call her Voldymuffin.'

'You named your pet Nargle…Voldemort.' Al said slowly.

'Yeah,' James shrugged. 'Nargles reach adulthood at about one month, so I figured we take her to Romania and nurture her and whatever the bloody hell we're supposed to do, and then after that, we let her go.' He grinned. 'What do you think?'

'I think you're bonkers,' Lily informed him immediately.

'Mad,' Al agreed.

'I think your choice of a name is highly offensive,' Ginny scolded. 'I have no opposition to this idea, but, really, James? Voldemort? Would you like for me to call up Scorpius Malfoy for a little "Let's Restart the Death Eaters" playdate while you're at it? When it gets dark, you can go all morsmordre on the poor innocent sky. Here, give me your left arm and let's get you a matching little Dark Mark.'

'Ginny, I think you're overreacting-' Harry began.

'I demand you change her name,' Ginny sniffed.

'BUT-' James protested.

'No,' Harry said, and the four of them turned to him in shock. 'What?' he asked sheepishly.

'I'd think you of all people would be offended by that, Harry!' Ginny exclaimed.

'I…' Harry stammered. 'I… let's keep the name. I... I think it's kind of…sweet.'

Reviews, please! They're like virtual little cookies :)

~KaleidoscopeKate