So that's it! For those of you who have read the "Goodbye" one-shot, I decided to try and make a longer version of it. I cut down the story into two pieces (that's why most of the first chapter --except the end-- is identical to the one-shot version, and that'll be the same for the end of the last chapter, which will remain the same end as in the one-shot) and allow Yuki and Shuichi more time together, which is only fair!
Plot : Shuichi discovers Yuki's got another dark secret... Yuki indeed suffers from a brain tumour and his days are counted. He just wants to savour each single moment he has left with Shuichi, and make them the happiest of their lives. This is the story of their last days together...
Pairing: Yuki x Shuichi, obviously!
Disclaimer: I (unfortunately!) do not own any Gravitation characters!
Please bear in mind that I'm French, therefore, my English is far from perfect and I do apologize for the mistakes I surely make now and then!!
I'll try to update as soon as possible! Well, that's just if you like it.
GOODBYE - CHAPTER ONE - DARK SECRET
"What the hell are you still doing here ?" I snapped at him. "I thought I'd told you to piss off!"
"Yuki… I…"
Those eyes. Beautiful violet eyes staring at mine. He perfectly knows how to use them. But I won't fall for his little game. Not again. I tried to look away, but he wouldn't let me escape. Damn little brat. His thin lips were trembling and tears were forming in the corner of his eyes.
Self defensive counter-attack:
"I have no time to waste with such a cry-baby like you, idiot"
That was pretty lame but that was all I could think of. He let his tears running down his cheeks. I sighed and went to the window, lighting a cigarette. He stood up from the couch and followed my steps. Will I ever get some peace one day? Sooner than I think, probably...
"Why do you hate me, Yuki?" he asked through sobs.
I couldn't suppress a smile. I turned around and faced him, trying my best to keep my brow furrowed.
"And why do you always tell stupid lies in order to get at the truth, you prat?"
He looked down and blushed. I gasped. His beauty will never cease to amaze me. He truly was my weakness. I put my hands on his shoulders and made him come closer to me. His eyes bulged with surprise when I lifted his chin with a hand and pressed my lips against his. Could a kiss ever taste better than this? Yes. Each time I kiss him, my heart pounds and I have to hold my breath. And each kiss seems better than the previous one. Blame him for being so gorgeous and sweet. Blame me for having let him trap me in his lovely web in the first place.
"Go and unpack your stuffs" I said firmly once we finally parted away.
He blinked his eyes, still biting his lips to taste what was left of our kiss.
"Really? You let me stay here?"
I nodded. History just repeats itself all over again, they say. So true. Argument. Reconciliation. Argument. Reconciliation. He may be an annoying little brat, I just couldn't imagine my life without him anymore. He threw himself in my arms and nearly made me fall over.
"Yukiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!! Thank you!! I love you so much!!"
"You'd better hurry up before I change my mind" I told him, more fondly than I intended to.
"Well, I'm happy you let me stay because I don't know how I would have managed to pack all my stuffs! I brought so many things here that my bag wouldn't be big enough for all of them anymore! I knew you wouldn't make me leave anyway, so I just put them in there!" He said happily, and crossed the room jumping like a ballerina.
I raised an eyebrow when I saw him open my huge bookcase and that a thousand of things fell on his head, from a Nittle Grasper poster to a large green rubber ring. My mouth twitched and I fought the urge to scream at him but he looked so cute with his pink head emerging from this mountain of rubbish that I just couldn't.
"I'll go and get us something to eat. If you haven't tidied up everything when I'm back, I promise you'll experience the worst moment of your existence!"
I glared at him and he gulped.
"I'll do it, Yuki! Promise! But take your time, pleaaaaase!" he squeaked.
I laughed and made my way to the door.
About forty-five minutes later, I came back home with take away sushis. Unagi sushis. His favourite ones. I pushed the door open and was a bit surprised not to see him running to me in his awful puppy outfit. It usually annoys me a great deal to always be assailed like that at my first step into the flat, but having no one to greet me this time was kinda worse. I closed the door and checked the room. There he was, huddled up on the couch, his head buried in his arms.
"Shuichi"
He startled at his name but didn't make any move.
"What is it?" I asked, trying not to sound too worried.
He lifted his head up. By the look of his face, he had been crying for quite a long time. His eyes were red, and his pale cheeks were wet, tears glittering at the city's lights coming from the window.
"Something wrong with Bad Luck?"
He shook his head. I put the sushis bag on the coffee table and sat at the other end of the couch. A horrible thought crossed my mind.
"It's not that Aizawa bastard again, is it?"
My voice trembled. He shook his head again, and I lost what little patience I had left.
"Well, are you gonna tell me what it is, or are you just gonna spend the whole evening staring stupidly at me like that?" I snapped at him, and immediately regretted telling him off again when I saw that look in his eyes.
He took a deep breath and stood up. He made his way to the phone.
"It is that!" He said, pushing the answering machine button, and not even looking at me. You've got one message, the machine said.
"Mister Uesugi, Professor Otanako speaking. I beg you once more to come as quickly as possible to the hospital. If you keep on refusing any treatment, your time will be counted in days instead of weeks. You cannot possibly want that, can you? I am being very serious! Please, call me back as soon as you get that message. Thank you"
Beeeeeeeep!
My blood froze in my veins. The moment I had feared most for the past few days had finally come. I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want him to know. Not yet. I wasn't prepared for that. It shouldn't be that way. That was not what I had planned.
Shuichi turned around and looked at me, fits clenched and eyes filled with both sadness and anger. He stayed motionless and didn't say any word but his eyes were speaking for him. Only his chest moved up and down quickly as he was gasping for air. I felt just like a thief caught red-handed and tried to avoid his amethyst eyes for the second time of the day, but failed once again.
I sighed heavily and stood up, taking a cigarette from my pocket and lighting it. My heart stopped beating at the picture of us he had stuck to the lighter.
"This is none of your business, you damn brat!" I mumbled, puffing out the smoke.
"How dare you say that!?" He screamed. "Of course it is my business! In case you wouldn't have noticed, I live with you, I love you and I do happen to care that you are dying, Yuki!"
My eyes bulged at this word. Dying. Indeed. He burst into tears again. I just couldn't face him. I was too much of a coward to look at him straight in the eye. I swallowed hard.
"Help yourself to sushis. They are unagi ones. Your favourite ones if I'm not wrong," I told him in a casual way, and walked to the bedroom.
I closed the door behind me and sat at my desk. There, I buried my head in my hands and started to cry more than I'd never done in my life. Why all this had to happen? Why had he stepped into my life? Last year, I wouldn't have been bothered at all to learn that I had an incurable tumour. No one made me want to stay alive. But now…
He knocked on the door. I didn't reply at first, but he insisted. He usually never knocks on the door.
"Come in" I snarled, quickly wiping my tears away with my sleeve.
He slowly opened the door, hesitated a moment, and then came in and sat on the chair next to me. That was his place. I suddenly felt a wave of guiltiness and still didn't dare to look at him.
"How long? How long have you been lying to me?" he asked through clenched teeth.
"I haven't been lying to you, Shuichi. Just thought it'd be better for both of us if I hid the truth from you, that's all. And anyway, I only got the news last week. The hospital called me while you were getting us ice-creams in the park."
The minute of silence that followed seemed to last an eternity. I could feel his hot breath in my neck. And I could feel an invisible hand crushing my heart inside my chest. I wished I could go back in time and erase everything. Everything but him. He was actually the best thing that happened to me in my life. But of course, I wouldn't tell him that. Too unassertive. Too proud. Even if it can sound self-contradictory. A warm hand on my shoulder made me wince.
"Accept the treatment, Yuki. Please. If you love me…"
"No way"
He retrieved his hand.
"You don't give a fuck about me, do you?!" He screamed angrily.
I lifted my head up. He went on:
"It doesn't come to your mind that I can find you dead in the bed tomorrow morning? You're so stubborn you just wouldn't go to the hospital and try to take all the chances that are left for you to recover?"
"Listen, you damn brat, this is a brain tumour. Cancer. Terminal phase. And I'm not going to recover. Ever. So what change does that make that I die tomorrow or in a few weeks?"
"It changes everything! It'd mean we'd have more time together!"
"More time together?" I sneered. "You don't give a fuck about me neither, you prat, eh?! Do you think I want to spend the little time I have left stuck between four white walls, taking all sorts of medicines that will only allow me more time to feel sorry for myself? I don't want that! I don't want doctors and nurses all around me! I don't want slow perfusions, morphine… I just want to seize the day! With you by my side. I'm trying my best to accept the fate, but I'll not be able to make it if it's not just the two of us, far away from all this bloody stuff! Does that make any sense?" I shouted.
I stopped and gasped for air.
"Yuki" he murmured, eyes full of tears.
He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and kissed me on my neck.
"What am I gonna do without you?" he whispered in my ear.
"You'll be okay, I promise" I tried to reassure him, running my hand through his hair, but I was not at all convinced myself.
I cupped his face in my hands and gently pressed my mouth against his. He tightened his grip on my shoulders and kissed me more deeply, as if he was trying to persuade himself that time would stop and that I'd never go away.
I could feel his warm tears against my cheeks and it broke my heart.
"Listen Shuichi," I said when we parted away. "Don't cry, please. That will only make things more painful for me"
He rubbed his eyes and swallowed hard.
"I want to savour every single last moment I am allowed to spend with you. You heard what Professor Otanako said, I just don't know how many days I have, but let's make them the happiest ones of our lives…"
"Yuki…"
His lips were trembling again.
"Here's a little deal," I went on, caressing his lower lip with my thumb, "we're both gonna write down things we'd like to do together on little pieces of paper and then we'll put them all into two different bowls: your choices in one, and mine in another one, and from tomorrow, we'll pick up one each one in turn every morning, and we'll just do what's written on the paper. It can be anything! Even the craziest and most expensive stuffs, I really don't mind! As long as we can do it in a day because each minute is going to be precious from now on. What do you think, Shuichi? Do you think Mr K will allow you to take a few days off? There is no gig planned before the end of the month if I remember well…"
He nodded. I grinned at him and he smiled back at me before throwing himself in my arms. Blasted little fool.
Don't hesitate to review whether you like it or not! :-)