Title: Insomnia
Author: RueB
Summary: Zuko moves to a new school, away from family and friends. He has insomnia and befriends his roommate, Jet. Can Jet help cure his insomnia?
A/N: Cursing. Slash, but no boyxboy bed love. AU. Jetko.
Disclaimer: They aren't mine :o
--
"Sir…sir…we are here, sir!" Zuko didn't know which snatched him out of his thoughts, the annoying cab driver, or the annoying cab driver's jerk to a stop.
"Sir, sir."
Digging in his pockets, he withdrew a wad of bills. Throwing the money at the driver, Zuko took hold of his single red case and exited the vehicle. He didn't wait for the change and the driver didn't offer it. Zuko didn't expect him to.
The stench hit him first. It was…intense. A mixture of garbage, exhaust and mold filled his nose. Next he noticed the sea of people. The sidewalk was full of pedestrians, a huge mass of individual movements. It was slightly overwhelming. The yellow cab dropped him in the middle and Zuko needed to get to the other side of it. The numbers 112 could barely be read against the dirty brick of the building. This is where he was going to spend the rest of his college career. A far cry from the Ivy League school he transferred from.
The movement of a carrier bike pushed him into the faceless crowd. Shoulders, elbows, torsos, and glares were coming at him from all directions. He could barley utter an apology before another body part of another person jarred him.
Finally he made in to the other side of the sidewalk. The brochure showed none of the chaos presented to Zuko. The university boasted of green malls and clean streets. He shook his head while making his way to the door, trying not to step on the broken glass and trash that littered the walkway. Beggars couldn't be choosers, and he was a beggar. After losing educational funding from his father, this was the best of the schools that would offer him a near free ride.
The busy noise of the street followed him into the building, but thankfully the crowd didn't. Standing in the lobby, Zuko was pleased to find it cleaner and brighter than its outside cover. Mixed matched couches and lounge chairs gave the area a cozy feel, so different from the city it resided in. Pulling out a slip of paper, he made his way to the counter.
"Hey man, what's up?" Zuko jerked in alarm. He hadn't realized the man was waiting on him.
"Uh- yes. My name is Zuko. I'm signing in." He answered quietly, slipping the paper to the loud man.
"Zuko, huh? You're a lucky guy Zuko." The man leaned over the counter motioning Zuko to lean in; which he timidly did. "Why?"
"Cause I'm one of your room mates." The man whispered conspiratorially. Zuko eyed him. "Why is that a secret?" he whispered back. The man straightened his back, eyebrows cocked in an I-can't-believe-you-are-asking kind of way. Zuko didn't know eyebrows could have so much…character? They had an incredible arch, almost disappearing into the frenzy of unruly brown strands that framed his face. His face was tan, almost as dark as his hair. His eyes were also brown. He was just a brown brown man.
"I'm like the best roommate you could have! Watch, all these people would be jealousif they knew you were rooming with me!" Zuko just nodded. Great, I'm stuck with the weird one.
"The name's Jet, Zuko."
Zuko nodded again and stood a bit awkwardly, shifting the red case from one hand to the other.
"So- can I get my key?"
Jet slid the slip of paper back to him as he came from the other side of the counter. Invading Zuko's personal space, he threw an arm around his shoulder.
"Sure thing! Aang, get your ass out here and do your job!"
Zuko stared at the too close face of Jet while simultaneously trying to shrug off the offending appendage. This guy didn't even work here?
"Yeah yeah, I'm coming." A bald kid came from the side wall Zuko didn't know was a door. Zuko's eyebrows rose. This Aang guy was covered in tattoos. The arrows, tribal symbols, and other inked portraits snaked up his arms into his fitted tee, out from the neck hole, up the neck onto his head. But his face looked young and his eyes innocent. The tattoos didn't match his seemingly friendly disposition. He was a walking oxymoron.
"Hey there! You must be Zuko. Welcome to Metropolis University. Did you have trouble finding the dorm?" He took the slip of paper from Zuko without missing a beat. "I know I did when I first got here. Where are you coming from? I heard from the UBU. Manthat's a good school. Says here you'll be on the eighth floor, commonly known as the Ba Sing Se floor. I'm on that floor too. If you didn't know, this dorm is Earth Kingdom Territory." Zuko tried to take a breath for the kid. "I don't know where these names came from, but they're fun, dontcha think?" Aang slipped the card access key to Zuko. "I think your stuff is already here. Hey Jet, wanna show him his- uh- your room? You have fun now! When I'm off I'll come and see how you're doing. See ya later!"
Zuko watched the enigma walk back into the wall that was a door. That was the quickest, scariest, conversation he didn't participate in that he'd ever been a part of.
"Man, I get high just talkin' to him! Can you believe he's majoring in aviation engineering?" Jet blared in Zuko's ear. "Come on; let's get you to your room." Zuko, being dragged by the arm around his shoulders, wondered if this was really the school for him.
--
It was only seven in the evening, but Zuko was exhausted. Finally having a moment to himself, he laid on the freshly made bed. It smelled of cologne, compliments of Jet, who insisted, would cover the moldy smell of storage. Zuko didn't want to give that strange guy any sort of credit, but the scent wasn't bad and really did clear the offending smell.
Zuko's first shock, after meeting Aang of course, was the elevators. They were old, really old. Old, like they were about to fall of their cables old. Jet warned him, arm now around his waist, to only use the first, third, and last elevators; and something about a conspiracy. Zuko wasn't really paying attention. Instead he chose to observe the other residents of the building. At least the brochure's claim of diversity was well deserved. If nothing else, this University was definitely a liberal arts school.
Stepping into their apartment was like stepping into a pig sty. Four bedroom doors surrounded the small kitchen and living space. Clothes, magazines, half eaten food and dirty dishes cluttered the floor and surfaces of the common area. The bright green and blue walls only added to the messy feel. Again, very different from the dark burgundy and stone walls of Universal Bender University.
The only clean space in the apartment was his room, and even that was cluttered with the boxes of belongings that arrived a week before he. His whole afternoon was spent organizing the pile into a livable space. His moved the bed under the double full length window, and moved the wooden desk next to the door.
According to Jet, the dorm used to be a hotel before the university bought it. All floor residents used common bathrooms, but the apartments were slightly larger than the usual. The university was much more lenient about decorating the rooms too. Apparently the previous resident had a fetish for red. Three of the four walls were cherry in color, and the wall with the window was grey.
Between cleaning and Jet, Zuko didn't have much time for his thoughts. But now, lying on the Jet smelling bed, he had nothing better to do than let his mind wander.
The reason for his transfer, his father, Mai, they all came rushing through him. Zuko turned on the bed and faced the window, staring out into the city. It was a good view, really. The red and white lights were becoming clearer as the evening turned into night. Metropolis was one huge East Coast city among many, he knew; but from the eighth story window, it looked to go on into forever. Mai didn't like many things, but he knew she'd like this. It was somewhere that was exciting, but she could get lost in the commotion. He missed her already, his one true friend, his faux girlfriend, Mai.
She was also the onlyone he knew would miss him. She was the only one who had known his secret and kept it close to her heart. He always worried that she would let it slip, but it wasn't her who got him into this mess. It was Zhao.
Zhao was his secret lover at UBU. A national frat boy, he was the golden child of the university. He was on the lacrosse team, majored in Financial Management, was the Vice President of the Student council, and Presidet of the UBU Business Associaion. Both were members of the prestigious Eta Epsilon Tau fraternity, Zhao a senior and Zuko a sophomore. He should have known to not get involved with him, but he was suave. Not gentle, not funny, but charismatic. Everyone wanted to be around him. Even his sister wanted him, and Azula wanted no one.
He couldn't pinpoint the beginning of their relationship. Was it when they kissed in the back of the library, or when they got together in one of their tutoring sessions? What they shared, whatever it was, felt good. It made him feel wanted and loved. He knew it wasn't really love, but it was there and it was good.
He may not have known what to call it or what it was, but he knew when it was over. They got caught at one of their famous Tau parties. Both he and Zhao were a bit tipsy and more than a little horny- so they found what they thought to be an inconspicuous location. It wasn't and one of their brothers found them, Zuko's arms and legs hooked around the older male, up against the wall.
The outcome wasn't pretty. Zhao, being the jerk that he was, told the ethics committee that Zuko seduced him with a roofy in his beer- and no one was going to question him. He was Zhao, and Zhao was a UBU God. Zuko, however, was expelled from the university, stripped of his Tau membership, and disowned by his father. The university did press charges (no evidence) but gave him a week to move out. When he arrived home his father had already thrown his stuff on the street. Within a day, he had to find a storage space, and a place to stay. By midnight he was on a flight to the east coast to live with his father's brother, Iroh.
The beginning of tears stung his eyes. Iroh had been so accommodating. His father and uncle were never on the best terms, especially after his mother's death, but he had been so willing to take Zuko under his wing. Iroh made the last couple of months bearable. He gave him a room, a job at his tea shop, and started collecting information on universities so Zuko could continue his education. Iroh, being the near hippie that he was, didn't mind Zuko's orientation. They hadn't spoken about it explicitly, but Iroh made sure he knew he was alwayswelcome. It was with Iroh that Zuko began to question if his and his father's relationship was as normal as he thought. Were all sons supposed to be afraid of their fathers?
"Hey Zu! Let's go get something to eat! I'm starving." Jet's bounced on the bed next to Zuko, jarring him from his thoughts. Zuko should have been mad and a bit uncomfortable with Jets brazen entrance into his room and his personal space, but he couldn't. Iroh's open door policy had taken the edge off Zuko's need for privacy and Jet was just too strange to apply any real sort of manners to. He was Jet, and that was his excuse.
"Where are we going?" Zuko asked, sitting up and facing his roommate. Jet's ever present smile slipped as his reached for his face. Fingers brushed against the moisture, revealing tears he didn't know he cried. Jet just stared at him, frowning slightly; eyes never leaving his.
Maybe Zuko had oversimplified this brown man. His eyes weren't just brown; they were a dark hazel, specks of green floated in and out of focus. His lips were fuller now that they weren't stretched in a smile. Sparse hair, the beginnings of a mustache, feathered his upper lip.
"Are you okay?" Jet asked, his voice the most gentle he'd heard that day. His fingers retouched his face. A familiar tingle settled itself in Zuko's belly and he jerked out of Jet's reach. It was that tingle that got him in trouble at UBU, and he wasn't going to fuck up his second chance.
"Where are we going?" He asked again, clearing his throat. Jet smiled. Not the usual one, a slick I-know-your-secret kind of smile.
"There is a great place around the corner that serves Island food. It's mostly spicy sweet stuff, but I swear it's really good!" Jet's answered, not as loud but with just as much enthusiasm.
"I don't think I've had Island food before."
"Never be afraid to try something new."
Jet grabbed his hand, "Let's go get Aang. I think he'd want to come too, yeah?"
Making their way down the hall, Zuko noticed Jet hadn't let go of his hand. But he also noticed in the crowed hall, that no one seemed to care. Aang made a face, but it was to Jet when he thought Zuko wasn't looking…and it was more a smirk than a nasty look.
So the sidewalks were always crowded and dirty, and the people were different, but maybe this was the place for him. Mai always commented on how different he was from the others. Maybe this is what she meant?
--
Jet wasn't lying about the food. The restaurant was a hole in the wall with plastic chairs and tables. It was half carry out half delivery, but Zuko had never been so satisfied with a meal as he was with that. Curry chicken, they called it, with fried plantains? He couldn't quite remember. Jet ordered for him and his attention was divided between Aang and his roommate Sokka, and Zuko's own roommates Smellerbee and Longshot. He didn't ask about the names. It probably involved a story he'd wouldn't believe anyways.
Zuko stared out into the city from his window. It was quickly becoming a favorite past time of his. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. With a belly full of food and skin still hot from a surprisingly relaxing shower, he should be passed out. But he wasn't, and he wasn't going to try. He might get a good two hours of rest, but nothing more. Since the incident with Zhao, Zuko had been having real trouble falling asleep. It was only recently that he'd been able to get more than an hour. He hoped that all the excitement of today would force his body to rest, but it didn't look to be the case.
Sighing, he turned from the view and wandered into the common area of the apartment. Smeller, Long, and Jet were already asleep. He could hear Jet's snoring from behind his door, the one with dozens of pictures of his life posted all over it. Zuko smiled. He'd only known Jet for a day, but he had to admit the guy was comfortable to be around. Jet made things that were supposed to be annoying fun. Even his snoring wasn't bothering him; it was rather soothing.
Making his way into the kitchen, he dug into the sink cabinet until he found what he was looking for. His mates had plenty of cleaning supplies; they just obviously didn't use them. With a rag in one hand and soap in the other Zuko began the long process of turning the mold fest into a working kitchenette.
--
Zuko was up, again. Jet noticed there was something innately different about their new roommate the minute he walked into the lobby of their building. From the way he walked, to the tight ponytail, Jet knew he was out of his element. He barely smiled, barely talked, and barely wore anything other than dress shirts and jeans. Jet couldn't help but smile. He was taken by this stick-in-the-ass immediately. It was weird, because he didn't like stuck up frat guys, but he'd also snuck a look at Zuko's transcripts.
It was fucked up what UBU did to Zuko. Really, it should have been illegal. Being a criminal justice major, Jet had half a mind to sue the university himself. And that Zhao guy, what a prick. Jet could feel the rage bubble in his stomach. He'd known Zuko for three weeks now, and while the guy was a bit stand-offish, he was a gentle soul. He'd never drug another person for sex, it just wasn't him. Zuko hadn't said a word about the other university and Jet couldn't help but wonder if that situation was the reason for Zuko's insomnia. Jet nodded to himself. That had to be it.
Since the night his roomie moved in, he'd been cleaning, rearranging, and more cleaning all night- every night. Jet knew him, Smeller, and Long were messy, but it was getting ridiculous. How many times can a guy mop the floor? Jet hadn't even known they owned a mop…
He tried everything from partying, to late night study sessions, to watching really boring documentaries to help tire Zuko. Nothing had worked thus far, so he would try another approach.
Opening his door, he tried to imagine what Zuko had decided to clean tonight. Ah, he was reorganizing their large collection of DVD's. That was a new task.
"Hey, Zu-man, you still up?" Jet heard a snort from the other. He agreed. It was a stupid question with an obvious answer.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Zuko nodded once and joined Jet on the yellow couch. Chewing on a toothpick, Jet began, hoping the conversation would yield some results.
"Look, Zuko, you can't keep doing' this." Jet motioned to the overly clean apartment, "It can't be healthy."
"Jet, I appreciate your concern, but I'm okay." Jet shook his head violently.
"You're not okay. It's been three weeks and you haven't had a full night's sleep."
"Jet, I'm fine. It's none of your concern." Zuko warned. His voice had grown hard and Jet was getting a little peeved. Zuko was his roommate, it was his concern.
"Look, I know what this is about. You need to let it go." Zuko's arms tightened across his chest, his eyes narrowed and nose flared.
"You don't know anything about me!"
"I read your file! I know why they kicked you out of UBU!" Zuko's eyes widened in disbelieve. Then he turned red. Forcing himself into a stand he pointed accusingly at Jet.
"You read my file? What the fuck! That's shit is confidential! Who the hell do you think you are?"
"Zuk-"
"No! You think you know who I am from a file? Did that file tell you my father kicked me out, left my shit on the street? Did it tell you that I don't have a cent to my name because I no longer have a father?"
"Zuko, I'm your-" Zuko jerked.
"Don't even say it. Don't you dare say it! Friends respect their friend's privacy. If I wanted you to know, I would have told you."
"You would have never told me!" Jet shouted over Zuko's ragging voice.
"Exactly!" Jet was almost stunned to silence-- almost.
"Zuko, I care! I just wanted to know who you were-"
"No, you wanted to know who the rich brat was that was moving in with you. I've heard you talking Jet. You hate anyone with money; anyone with rich parents. And now you find out I'm different and what- you pity me? I don't need your pity. I'm not some sympathy case you learned about in class!"
"I didn't think-"
"No, you never think! Just- just stay away from me Jet. I don't even want to see your face."
"Zuko!"
He just walked away. Jet didn't know what to do. Where had the conversation gone wrong? He'd never seen Zuko so mad- so passionate. Jet's chest felt like it was going to cave in, it was so heavy. Tears tried to force their way from behind his eyes as he heard the front door slam closed. All he wanted to do was help, and now he might have lost something that could have been more than a friendship.
Jet slowly walked into his room. The yellow and orange walls mocked his disheartened emotions. Was Zuko right? Long always told Jet that he acted without thinking, but his actions never hurt anyone before. He was Jet. People just laughed it off, or followed him, or just accepted it.
Jet turned off the lights and lay on his bed. No, he wasn't wrong. Zuko was just being sensitive. He'd talk to him tomorrow. Everything would blow over like it usually did.
--
It had been three days. Three long, tension filled days. Jet hadn't realized how much time he'd spent with Zuko since he moved in. When they weren't in class, they were watching TV, or getting food, or Jet would just lie on Zuko's bed while he was studying, talking his ear off. He swore that Zuko wasn't really hearing him, but he put all the 'oh's' and 'ah's' in the right places so he didn't care. Now that they weren't speaking, Jet began to wonder what he did before Zuko was here. Whatever it was, it wasn't as entertaining.
Since their argument, Jet only saw Zuko once, and it was in the hallway of the Art building. They pretened not to see each other. Not that Jet was in any rush to have contact with the other boy. Anytime he was alone his mind would drift to their argument and a sense of dread would settle in his stomach. It was guilt.
During their argument, Jet claimed that he'd known Zuko. But if he really knew him, he wouldn't have admitted to Zuko that he'd violated his privacy. He knew how tight lipped Zuko was; he always held his cards close to his chest. Zuko only gave personal information when necessary. What made Jet think that he'd appreciate him going through files with such sensitive information? Jet buried his face in the cushions. I am such an idiot.
He didn't know how, but he needed to make this right. He knew Zuko was in his room, he heard the door squeak earlier while eating dinner. Jet wasn't one to linger on a problem once he found the solution. Taking a deep breath, he made his way to Zuko's room.
--
Jet didn't knock on the door, out of habit, but winced once he opened it. Think before acting, he repeated to himself.
The lights were off, but the room was far from dark. The reds, yellows, and green lights of the city bled into the room, bouncing off the red walls. Zuko sat on his bed, back against the headboard, but he had obviously been looking out the window. His hair, usually gelled into a ponytail, was down. It flowed silkily into his face, covering most of his gaze in its shadow. The city lights reflected off his golden eyes, making them flicker like fire through the openings of hair. His eyes were slightly wide, of surprise or fear, Jet didn't know, but it gave him an almost innocent look.
Zuko's usually immaculate shirt was wrinkled and he'd missed the first button hole, leaving the shirt uneven. Jet shifted. This untailored Zuko was turning him on. He shook his head in near disgust. He was here to talk to Zuko, not jump him. But- he looked so…beautiful? Yeah, that was it; beautiful. He looked vulnerable. And Jet knew not just anyone saw Zuko in this state. Not that he'd invited Jet to see him like this, but Jet had been standing there for a good minute, and he had yet try to rearrange himself. He just sat there, legs bent at the knees, arms slack on either side of him.
"Hey." Jet croaked out. Zuko gave a single nod and turned his head back to the window. His face now fully lit by the window, Jet could see the dried track of tears. They were just a few. Zuko probably didn't even know they fell.
Jet made a move towards the bed. Zuko didn't react, and he took it as a good sign. Crawling to Zuko, between bent knees, he didn't stop until his fingers were tracing the crust of tears long gone. He heard Zuko's breathing quicken. His was still facing the window, but his eyes were on Jet.
"I'm sorry." Jet whispered. Was that Zuko's heartbeat that quickened, or was it his own? Zuko sighed, closing his eyes. He looked relieved. Jet's lips moved to trace what his fingers touched just a second ago, slowly making their way to the other boy's lips. He couldn't help it.
Zuko's reaction was instant. Hands dug into his hair as soon as his lips met Zuko's. Jet tasted sweetness on Zuko's tongue as it was shoved into his own mouth. He smirked into the kiss. He tasted sweet plantains, from the little island carry-out around the corner. Maybe Zuko missed Jet as much as he missed him.
"I'm sorry." Jet repeated against Zuko's lips. I know, was the raspy response.
"Forgive me?" Zuko nodded, their foreheads pressed together.
"Yeah."
--
Zuko was…content, if not a bit confused with what he was doing. Both he and Jet were lounging on his bed. Jet's arm encircled his shoulders, his fingers playing with Zuko's hair while Zuko's arm rested on Jet's bended knee. He was glad he took Mai's advice.
He called his friend the night before, after the bulk of his anger passed.
"You're so dramatic, Zu." was Mai's response after telling her what Jet did. Her voice was dry and monotone, but he could hear the smirk through the phone. He tried to explain that Jet violated his privacy and couldn't be trusted.
"So he took a peak at your record. He's an idiot, but he's not bad." Well, he wasn't calling Jet bad, just-
"Zu, he sounds like he's just trying to help." But-
"If you look anything like you sound, you look like a tired whore." That wasn't the point.
"Would you rather him not care?" She was twisting the situation.
"Okay, so he looked at your file. Wasn't it before you met?" Yes, but what-
"So, he probably does it with every new roommate?" Zuko sighed and grudgingly admitted she had a point.
"Do you like him?" He refused to answer.
"So you like him." He told her he reminded him of Zhao. He didn't want another Zhao.
"Jet's a maniacal, lying, controlling, jackass?" No, but he was charismatic, like Zhao. She was silent for a good minute.
"Did that sound as stupid on your end as it did mine?" No.
"Zuko, I love you. You know I want you to be happy. Jet had a dumdum moment. Don't you wish your dumdum moments were forgiven?" Ouch. She had a point.
"You aren't in UBU anymore. You are hundreds of miles away from it. I know you don't want another Zhao incident, but MU knew what happened at UBU and they still accepted you. The only thing keeping you away from Jet is your fear of being hurt. Has he really hurt you?"
Zuko spent the rest of the night and all of the next day to think over what she said. He also thought about everything else; his father, his uncle, Zhao, UBU, the ethics committee, and his short time at MU. Mai had mentioned something about a blessing in disguise before the end of their conversation. Maybe she was right. He had more fun in the last half year (including his time with his uncle) than his whole time at home and at UBU, even with the drama. Without realizing it, he had begun to move on. He left Iroh's safety for a new school and he had the beginnings of great friends. He still had countless familial issues that might never go away, but he could still continue down his road of self recovery. And he could start with Jet. But how could he approach him after telling him he didn't want to see his face?
Lucky for him, Jet wasn't that patient of a person. And now, Zuko was left with one burning question.
"What are we?" He spoke suddenly. Jet jerked; obviously he'd been drifting asleep. His stilled fingers began moving through his hair again.
"What do you mean?"
"Us. There is clearly something between us." Jet was silent for a moment.
"What do want us to be?" Zuko could only shrug. He didn't want to be the first to say it. Again, Jet took the lead.
"I'm not going to lie. I like you. I think I liked you from the moment I saw you walk into the lobby." He smirked, "You were sol ost." Zuko scoffed, "I wasn't lost- just overwhelmed. "
"Uh-huh. Either way, you stuck out like a sore thumb."
"You were weird, and I didn't mind." Jet laughed loudly. "I'm going to take that as a compliment."
"You should." He replied, changing his position so he lay on his side, looking out the window again. Jet shifted too, Zuko's back pillowing his head.
"So I guess I have to take you out on a date?" Jet asked, hands finding warmth under Zuko's shirt. It was fall, but the building manager still hadn't turned off the AC.
"Somethin' like that." Zuko mumbled. "We'll talk about it tomorrow."
--
He didn't know what woke him up, but he was surprised to find that he'd slept for four hours. It was the longest he'd slept in a long while. He tried to move, only to find that Jet had him wrapped in an octopus like grip, legs and arms pinning him to the bed. Ever so slowly, without waking his bed mate, he untangled himself. Jet just sighed and turned slightly. He removed his uncomfortable button down shirt and jeans and replaced them with a t-shirt and old boxer shorts.
He crawled back in his bed and slipped under the covers. He figured when Jet got cold enough, he'd find his way there too. Jet had mentioned something about a Pride club. He wanted Zuko to go with him tomorrow night. Zuko wasn't too thrilled about its implications, but he was excited to see something new- with Jet. Jet was offering something that Zhao or any other person hadn't offered him, intimacy. Zuko smiled as he felt Jet's arms around him under the covers. It hadn't taken him long to seek out the heat of Zuko's body. His breath was warm on the back of Zuko's neck as he mumbled something about stupid building managers.
Zuko knew he wasn't going to get any more sleep tonight, four hours was amazing enough. But he was content to lay with the heat of Jet's body behind him and the city lights before him. Zuko was finally beginning to accept his new life, and he was happy. As a side thought, he really needed to get Mai out here…
--
The End. Thanks for reading! As always, comments and crticisms (Please help me become a better author!) are welcomed.