I (obviously) do not own anything you recognize.

This was beta'd by the lovely Breath-of-twilight, who humors me and my inane ideas, and lets me participate in her fun countdowns. Because she spoils me rotten.

Enjoy!

I walked into the party with Jasper and Emmett and instantly hated everyone inside. It was just a bunch of douchebags dressed up as pimps, mobsters, and Jersey shore guys; and a bunch of girls dressed as slutty Grimm fairy tale characters. Did they think that was hot? I'm sorry, but there is nothing sexy about a slutty Little Red Riding Hood. It's actually pretty unsettling, and possibly a bit pedophilic.

So, after we passed the third Playboy Bunny before getting into the next room, resulting in Emmett's tongue wagging on the floor behind us, I was beyond ready for a stiff drink.

The bartender looked me up and down in my suit and gave me an inquiring look. I ignored him, instead addressing his costume.

"Are you supposed to be a zombie or someone with herpes on their face?" I asked, honestly unsure. With the poor lighting there was a possibility that he just needed a good night's sleep and some Abreva.

"I don't get paid enough for this shit," he grumbled quietly to himself before pasting on a smile. Prick, I thought to myself.

"I'm a zombie. What can I get for you?" And a sellout. I wonder if his measly salary is worth that fake smile he has to paste on? I gave him my usual drink order, watching carefully to make sure he didn't slip anything in there after my comment. Thankfully, he handed me the glass without giving me any unwanted extras.

"Thanks, man." I threw a twenty in his jar and walked over to the couch Jasper and Emmett had somehow commandeered.

"You could have at least worn a costume," Jasper yelled over the music from beside me.

"If anyone asks, I'm the guy from that show Suits. Happy?" I hate this shit, I complained internally.

"Yo, do you need a tampon or something? Jesus, man, lighten up," Emmett grumbled from my other side. I rolled my eyes and took a few gulps of my drink. Hard liquor would get me through the night; we were old friends.

After I finished my first drink, and was well into my second, I had calmed down enough to accept the night for what it was. I could handle a night out drinking with my friends, even if they were dressed like idiots, along with everyone else around us. I looked to my right at Jasper, who was dressed as a cop; and then to my left at Emmett, who was Hercules. Man, my friends were nerds.

"Hi!" I looked up to see a very tiny girl dressed as Minnie Mouse blowing Jasper with her eyes.

"Hey." Jasper was always so well spoken.

"Wanna dance?" I didn't even hear him respond before he was on his feet and being dragged to where everyone was dancing. The dance floor was pathetic, really; a bunch of amateurs bumping up against each other in a square that was created by the furniture lining the walls. This party is high class.

I turned to my left to make a joke about it to Emmett, but he had completely disappeared. Fantastic. It's one thing to drag me to a lame party but another, entirely, to abandon me.

I got up to get another drink and passed Emmett dancing with / making out with / humping a very tall blonde dressed as some sort of slutty girl version of Robin Hood. Well, at least somebody is getting some.

After changing up my drink choice to beer, I went outside with my bottle to have a smoke. I leaned against the wall, next to the door of the brownstone, and took a big drag with my eyes closed. At least it was nice outside.

I sat there comfortably smoking and drinking, oblivious to the world, and loving the cool, crisp weather when I smelled something that was strangely sweet and spicy at the same time. I inhaled deeply, wanting to intoxicate my senses with the smell before it faded with the wind, but when it didn't drift with the breeze, I opened my eyes and my vision was immediately assaulted with the most glorious vision.

I jumped backward, scared shitless, and collided with the brick wall I had just been leaning against. Thanks to alcohol, though, I didn't feel a thing (told you we were friends). I took in the woman before me and became slightly slack-jawed. She was mind-blowingly hot. She had a blue, yet much more revealing, version of Barbara Eden's costume from I Dream of Jeannie. Her long, dark brown hair was in a ponytail high on her head, and she was fantastically pale.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," she apologized as her cheeks turned pink. Fuck. Me.

"That's okay. I like your costume." I motioned to her incredibly bare midriff and tried to move my hips around in an attempt to adjust myself without the use of my hands. That went well.

"I'm Edward," I told her as I held out my hand to shake hers. She looked at it strangely before taking hold of it lightly and kissing my class ring from college. Sure, she's nuts, but she is hot enough for it to be excusable.

"My name is Bella, but you can call me whatever you like."

Okay, then.

"Do you want to go inside and get a drink? The bartender is kind of a douche, but the drinks are strong."

"I'm not thirsty, but if you'd like I could go get you another drink." She looked eager to please, but I still had half of my beer left, so I declined. I dropped my cigarette and stomped it out, trying to buy time so I could think of how to get her to stay with me instead of socializing with the assholes inside. She beat me to it, though.

"Would it be okay if I stayed with you? I don't know anyone, and you seem awfully nice." She looked at me from below her lashes, which shockingly enough didn't seem like a practiced move.

"Sure." I walked over to a bench on the grass, next to a little garden, and pulled out another cigarette.

"Do you mind?" I asked, motioning to the cigarette. Because I'm a damn gentleman, thank you very much.

"Of course not," she said before grabbing my lighter and lighting it for me. I was going to point out that I had just been trying to be polite, but I got the feeling it wouldn't have made a difference.

"Is there anything else you need, Master?"

I began to shake my head 'no,' when I realized what she had called me. The fuck? Master?

I looked at her and two options came to mind; Jasper and Emmett set this up, or she was really getting into character. I said a silent prayer to whoever was listening that it was the latter and rolled with it.

"I'm fine. Thank you, though."

Bella let a big smile split her face and shuffled a bit on the bench so she was facing me more. Then the inquiry began; how old was I? Twenty eight. How old was she? However old I needed. What did I do for a living? Where did I live? Was I happy? What did I do in my free time? Did I like to dance? What was my favorite food? My favorite drink? Was I single? Did I think she was pretty? Would I want to spend the night with her?

The questions came in rapid succession for an almost uncomfortable amount of time. She was really getting into this Genie thing, but who was I to complain? If she kept following through, I could get a pretty nice lay out of the deal. I went with it; partly because I didn't know what else to do, but mostly because she was super hot and eager to please.

"So, do you want to stay at the party or do something else? This doesn't exactly strike me as your scene." I hoped she had picked up on the actual meaning behind that; 'let's go back to my place and bone.' What can I say, I'm a guy, and I was pretty sure I had already seen Jasper and Emmett leave with their respective slutty-costumed ladies. What else was I going to do? Go home alone? Fuck no.

"Oh, anything you'd like to do, Master." She gave me a look that somehow screamed innocence and sex simultaneously, not unlike her scent, so I went in for the kill.

"Well, I think I'd really like to go back to my apartment. What do you say?"

"Oh, for a magic carpet ride, Master?" Her euphemism was awkward, sure, but when she said it with that much excitement, my cock twitched; and I was down for any way she wanted to word what I had planned.

"Yeah, sure. A magic carpet ride," I said through a smirk that I tried to keep relatively innocent. I was pretty sure I failed, but she didn't seem to notice. She simply jumped up, ran off to the side of the brownstone to grab some weird Persian style bottle (A freakish purse? Who knew with her), and then came back quickly to help me to my feet.

I could get used to this, I thought to myself. Getting waited on hand and foot, being called Master, getting my way all the time. I think I'm starting to love Halloween.

The first five minutes or so of the cab ride were completely silent with Bella staring at me intently.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I tried to make the sentence not sound like 'what is wrong with you?' but I'm pretty sure it came out like that anyway.

"I am so thankful to have such a handsome master. You are beautiful. I am hoping I can make you happy," she said quickly, with complete conviction. Oh, she's good. I had a fleeting thought that she might have been a hooker hired by Jasper and Emmett, but then realized that even if that were true, they should get their money's worth. I'll just make sure I wear a condom.

I didn't know how to respond, so I just tapped her leg and let the silence consume the taxi once more. The cab driver was sending me looks in the rearview mirror, most of which were complete and unadulterated jealousy. I couldn't blame him.

I looked over at Bella, when we were about five minutes away from my place, and noticed that she was starting to look severely freaked out.

"Are you all right? You look kind of green."

Bella looked around the cab warily, and then rolled down her window, taking in a deep breath of the air from outside.

"Yes, I'm better now. I don't like enclosed spaces, is all. You know, temporary loss of powers and all of that," she waved her hand around and gave me a 'don't you hate when that happens?' type of look. I raised my eyebrows and nodded slowly, hoping she wasn't a complete nutter.

"We're almost to my place, don't worry."

"Okay, Master." She smiled, and then went back to hanging her head a bit out of the window like a dog. At least the crazy ones are always good in the sack.

Back in my apartment, things started to get a bit weird.

I unlocked the door, gave her a quick tour that ended in my kitchen, and asked if she wanted a drink.

"I'll have whatever you think I should, Master." The response sounded natural and normal for her to say, which was weird.

It was a lot easier to pop open two beers than it was to mix some lame fruity drink. Plus, I was pretty sure the only non-alcoholic drinks I had were orange juice and expired milk.

I had my back to Bella while I took the tops off the beers but turned around slowly when I heard my sink running. The hell?

Bella was doing my dishes. My nasty, probably at least a week old dishes.

"What are you doing?"

"Cleaning for you, Master," she said over her shoulder with a smile. I went back to opening the beers. Hey, if she wants to clean, she can go to town. I'm not about to do it. However, I could have sworn I saw her hands moving at an inhuman speed in my peripheral vision. When I looked at her directly, though, she was already finished. Maybe I hadn't had as many dirty dishes as I thought.

I looked over to the drying rack, which was completely filled and almost overflowing. Impressive.

I handed Bella her beer and took a swig of my own.

"We could go to my bedroom and watch a movie if you want." I grabbed her hand and led her back to my room without waiting for an answer. It was getting to the point where I knew she'd agree with everything, anyway. Life was good sometimes.

I walked into my room before her, flipping on the light switch and kicking a towel out of the way. Thankfully, my bedroom wasn't a complete disaster. Apparently, women don't think slobs are attractive. Who knew?

"Oh, Master!" Bella exclaimed so loudly that I almost jumped. Almost, but not completely, because I am a man. Cough-grunt.

"Am I to sleep in your bed tonight? I would be honored! Please, tell me how to make you happy," she said as she jumped up on to the bed and started to fluff my pillows and straighten out the sheets.

"Yeah, you can stay here," I said, rolling my eyes at the shtick. I popped a Romero movie into the DVD player, flicked off the lights, and took off my suit jacket before turning back to the bed. Where Bella was. On top of the covers. In her barely there top and the most fantastically enticing matching blue underwear I'd ever seen. Her hair was out of the tie and flowing over her shoulders. Thank you, God.

"You get right down to business, don't you?" I asked as I loosened my tie and kicked off my shoes at the same time.

"Not business, Master! Fun! Here, let me help you." She scurried over to the edge of the bed closest to me and began to loosen my tie. I lowered my hands and let her work her magic, seeing how far she'd go. I wasn't disappointed.

After my shirt had been unbuttoned, a few kisses showered on my chest, and my pants and socks removed, I sat down on the bed next to Bella in my boxers. I put my arm around her, which seemed to throw her off; but when I gently guided her head to rest on my chest, she figured it out pretty quickly.

We made it about ten minutes into the movie before she freaked the ever loving fuck out. I'm talking screaming, shaking, scared shitless and hiding her face between my back and the headboard freaking out. Sure, her head was at the right longitude, but the latitude was a bit off. I also didn't mind the way her ass was sticking up in the air, but that was beside the point. A scared Bella would get me nowhere, and I was beginning to genuinely feel bad for scaring her. I may seem like a dick most of the time, but I'm not heartless.

I flipped the TV onto an infomercial for some steam cleaner and slowly pulled a shaking Bella out from her hiding place.

"Are you okay? I turned it off," I said as I pushed the hair out of her eyes. With a hand on each side of her head, I tilted it so we could make eye contact.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I promise, it's off now." I placed a kiss between her brows before I even knew what I was doing, but didn't mind so much when she made a soft mewling noise. And I'm back in the game.

"I'm sorry, Master," she said from below her lashes again. "I tried to be brave, but it was terrifying! Will those people be okay? Where are they?"

This girl was certifiable. I was still into it, mainly because she was so damn cute. Sure, she probably thought she was a genie. And sure, she might have thought the zombies in the movie were real. But I'm telling you, if you saw the face she was making, and how adorable she was, you would have melted a little, too. No joke.

It also didn't hurt that she was basically half naked. I am a man, after all.

"Yeah, no, they'll be fine. They were just pretending." I patted her leg in reassurance, which she misunderstood as a request to straddle me. No complaints from my end.

She snuggled herself down onto my lap and gave me a look as if to say 'what now?' I didn't have a response, though, because she was warm and perfect and in an outfit wet dreams are made of. I was a goner. So, I put one of my hands in her hair, and the other on her hip, and brought her in for a kiss. This was all of the encouragement she needed, because she went berserk. Hot, sexy, humping on my junk, and showing my tongue new worlds kind of berserk. I am in love with this woman.

She moved from my lips to my neck and started licking and sucking as if the world were about to end. (She was perfectly insane, though. Maybe she thought it was going to end.) The neck kissing was all well and good, but her mouth tasted like IPA and cinnamon, and I wanted that shit back. I tried to coax her face back to mine but she wasn't having it, so I gently pulled on her hair to tilt her head back up.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Master!" She scooted off of my lap and reclined on the bed beside me. "I didn't realize you liked to be master here, as well. I'll be good now. I promise." She must have sensed my confusion, because she slowly lifted her hands above her head in a classically submissive pose. Fuck.

I wasn't about to say no to that, so I crawled my way over to her and started in on what was clearly every man's fantasy. I kissed her lips and her neck and her collar bones, and just relished every sound she made. When I began to kiss the top swell of her perfect chest, I realized just how thin the material of her top was, and moved down over her right nipple to lick it through the barely-there fabric.

She responded immediately, vocally, and physically. She let out a high pitched sigh, and her nipple hardened enough that it could be seen directly through her top. I continued, loving the strange texture of her shirt over her soft skin, and she arched her back as if to press herself entirely into my mouth.

I became impatient, then, because I wanted to see her completely. I tugged her top off so quickly that I heard a ripping sound, but she didn't seem to mind. She ripped her bottoms off while I threw her top across the room; and when I looked back at her, I became severely concerned that I would have the stamina of a seventeen year old. She was perfect.

Her tits were so beautiful I could have cried, just as pale as the rest of her with perfectly pink nipples standing at attention. Further south, she was completely hairless, and clearly ready. Perfectly pink and swollen, and goddamn she was going to be the death of me.

I went back to her tits (they were calling to me) and started an intimate relationship with her nipples. They were sweet and smooth, and they made her make that noise. I used one of my hands to hold hers above her head and used my other to lift her torso up higher, for better access. When I moved on to her left nipple, she had had enough. With amazing strength, she flipped us so she was straddling me and gave me an innocent smile.

"I'm sorry, Master," she said a bit huskily. "I couldn't take it anymore. I need to see you. I need to taste you. Would you mind?" She was already pulling down my boxers, and I stayed silent and let her do her thing.

Almost reverently, she pulled my boxers off and stared intently at Cullen Jr. Slowly, she started to stroke me and spread my embarrassingly large amount of pre-cum up and down my length. My hips were bucking into her hand, and as she lowered her mouth, she gave me a wicked grin.

"Master, would you mind if you were brought to pleasure from my mouth first? I am very excited by the idea and-" I cut her off.

"Go ahead." I'm not an idiot, after all.

She smiled again, and then dove face first into the best blow job in the history of the world. She was enthusiastic without starting off too roughly; slowly moving her mouth in tandem with her hand. She twisted her hand slightly on every upstroke, and grazed the bottom of my head just barely with her teeth.

My breathing became shallower, and soon I was fisting her hair while trying desperately not to hump her face. That didn't matter though, because she placed both hands under my ass and forced my hips up toward her mouth. She wanted me to fuck her mouth. While I internally screamed "I love you, I love you, I love you," she moved one of her hands onto my own and showed me how she wanted me to literally fuck her face. I didn't even know girls like that existed.

So, I gripped her hair lightly and moved myself in and out of her mouth. Soon, I was panting like a marathon runner, and the harder I pushed into her mouth, the louder she would hum. In no time, I was making ridiculous noises as I shot an obscenely large amount of cum into her mouth. She sucked me dry, then licked my entire cock clean.

After she decided she had gotten it all, she sat back up and moved her now dripping pussy to just above my still raging hard-on. This girl was the human version of Viagra.

Without warning, she lifted my cock and sat down on it in one fluid motion. We looked at each other and both sighed through face-splitting smiles. It occurred to me that up until that point, I had never once made eye contact while having sex with someone. Never. The look in her eyes made me feel like I was the king of the world.

Bella put her hands on my chest and very slowly lifted herself up and down on me without breaking eye contact. Her eyes were so dilated that I could barely see any brown, and her lids were half closed. Without looking away from her flushed face, I moved one of my hands down so I could circle her clit in time with her movements. Her eyelids popped open wide, and the shocked look on her face told me that no one else had probably ever done that before.

In a shockingly short amount of time, I could feel her muscles tensing around me. I had just enough time to throw my free hand behind her before she threw her head back and came.

"Master!" She was screaming it so loud I thought for sure my neighbors were going to call the cops. The sight and sound of it was so hot that I would have gladly gone to jail for that moment.

When she finally came back to planet earth, I flipped her onto her hands and knees. After one wink over her shoulder at me, I was back in her and driving hard. My left hand was under her, grabbing her left shoulder for better leverage, while my right was back at rubbing her clit. Her legs were shaking, and I was sweating. It was magnificent.

I was getting closer to coming and could tell she wasn't quite ready yet.

"Bella, I'm close." I slowed my movements, to try and hold myself back, and put my forehead on her back.

"God, Bella. Come with me, okay?"

I had barely gotten the sentence out when she started to clench me from the inside again. Her legs shook more; she was taking shaky, shallow breaths and meeting me thrust for thrust. The very moment I couldn't take it anymore, she came with me. I'm sure from outside it sounded like there was a cat fight in my apartment, but it couldn't be helped.

Her orgasm seemed never-ending, and every time she convulsed, it was like she was making me come harder and longer. When we were finally finished, we collapsed next to each other in a heap, covered in sweat, with her hair sticking to both of us.

The room was silent with the exception of our labored breathing. I tried to figure out what the hell had just happened. I know we didn't make love, but that was definitely more than fucking. We were on the same page the entire time, and it was like I could feel everything she felt. Dear god, was I in love with the crazy girl?

Thankfully, Bella interrupted my thoughts.

"Thank you, Master. I've never felt anything like that before." She snuggled into my side more, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Master?"

"Yes, Bella?" I was playing with her hair; pushing it away from her face, and loving the way the ends would curl around my fingers. Man. I love Halloween.

"I thought you said you had a Magic Carpet we could ride?"

If you were a genie, what would you do to swoon Edward? I'd love to know!

Personally, I'd stop at nothing... but then again, I have no scruples, and drink like a sailor.

Thank you for reading, and reviews make me all warm and tingly. Like IPA and EdwardxGenie secks.