Saturday evening, the Barnyard

Lapis sat at the barnyard in the back of the rusty old truck watching "Camp Pining Hearts" by herself while Peridot was gone. She wasn't really watching though because it was a rerun. Instead, she was thinking. About everything that had happened to this point with the Crystal Gems. From when she talked to Steven from the abyss of the mirror, when she tried to kill them after being released, when she tried to steal Earth's ocean to escape back to Homeworld. The horrible moment when Jasper grabbed her ankle as she tried to flee from the wreckage site, when she decided that she would lock herself and Jasper away just for Steven's sake, the horrifying months she endured trying to keep them both under, the desperation she felt as she was drowned out in the fight between Alexandrite and Malachite. How she was so confused and exhausted when she woke up in the temple, how she felt when Steven tried to convince her to stay with him on Earth, how she felt when he did convince her, her half frustration half amusement as Peridot tried to somehow make it all up to her, the way the whole group came together to keep Peridot and Jasper a secret from the rubies. How much fun she had with Steven on the boat ride, how sick she felt when Jasper ruined it.

It all just kept tumbling in her head now that she didn't have any distraction for it. She'd been through so much and it wasn't over yet. Not with this group of Gems. Not with Homeworld. Yellow Diamond wanted this planet glassed; Yellow Diamond had a tendency to get what she wanted. So far just those rubies had been sent after Jasper and Peridot. Soon enough though, Yellow Diamond would send real Quartz warriors to shatter her opposition. It was okay though, they would all deal with that then. Right now, they were just trying to fix all the shit Jasper was causing. She wasn't there, but apparently Steven and Amethyst had fought off Jasper in a toe-to-toe fight according to Peridot. Peridot apparently dealt the final blow though which had given her a big confidence booster lately. All that aside, Lapis was simply thinking about her wild roller coaster of a life and how she might actually be able to bear it with Peridot and Steven. As for the other Crystal Gems… She was still pondering how she felt about them.

When she thought about it, she hadn't interacted with any of them very much so far, but she'd seen enough to form a slight idea of their person. Amethyst, she thought, was actually kinda cool. Amethyst never wronged her, and she held her form for forever when the Rubies traveled to the moonbase. She looked like she was having a lot of fun during that game of...baseball was it? Whatever. Point was Amethyst seemed okay. Lapis was more wary of Garnet, who was constantly fused together. It unnerved her that the Ruby and Sapphire could remain fused that long and not lose themselves in the fusion. Or grow to despise one another. When Lapis was fused together with Jasper it was a constant power struggle as one tried to drown the other for dominance of the body and power of Malachite. But Lapis did have to admit the dynamics of a fusion might change if the goals of the fusion were different…

Finally… there was that damned Pearl. She knew that she couldn't stand that Pearl. Pearl knew there was a living gem in that mirror, yet she didn't even bother to think about who that gem might have been. And when she got to find out, Lapis knew she wanted to just put her back in the mirror. She could see it in Pearl's eyes on the beach. Even now there was always a degree of… pity? Hatred? Anger? Some type of negative quality she could never really place, whenever Pearl looked at Lapis. And Lapis couldn't stand it. It just made her so angry whenever she had to look at Pearl in the eye. She didn't want Pearl to feel like she could just lord over her like so many others… Lapis knew how to handle those things from now on...

While Lapis was brooding, a massive blonde accumulation of hair-like material appeared in front of Lapis' face and she squeaked out in surprise. Lapis raised a hand to beckon a small puddle of water nearby but stopped when she saw that the blonde hair was attached to a green scalp. The figure was trying to climb into the truck and seemed to be struggling. Lapis laughed to herself a little and bent forward and helped Peridot up.

"Thank you Lapis Lazuli." Peridot said while settling down in her spot beside Lapis.

"Hey Peridot. Did you bring me back another souvenir?" Lapis asked, quickly recovering and droning on with her normal bored expression.

"Uh, yeah. I got you this spherical… Thing! I'm really not sure what this one is supposed to be but I do like it's appearance and thought you might like it." Peridot excitedly gave Lapis an odd little bauble that appeared to be a Yin-Yang symbol inside of what appeared to be a marble. Lapis actually thought it was pretty neat and thought it would look nice with some of the other things that Peridot had collected on missions.

"Thanks Peridot. I'll put this with the rest." She said as she got up and walked deeper into the barn and placed the baubble in a pile in a corner of the barn. She could have flown but she didn't feel like she needed to fly for absolutely everything.

"You're welcome. This planet has so many different things on it, that it's never all that hard getting new things when I go out with the others." Peridot said with a bit of pride.

"That's good." Lapis said as she climbed back into her spot in the truck. "It's nice to know there's enough stuff on the planet to keep us occupied for a century or two."

"Does that mean that you plan to stay?" She asked as she watched Lapis hop back in the truck

"Yeah. I'm not totally sure that I like Earth as much as you and the Crystal Gems but I do find it interesting. Also Homeworld seems to be less than pleasant right now and I may have nowhere else to go despite there being an endless universe for me to travel." Lapis stated with more than a little sarcasm.

"Hold on. 'You and the Crystal Gems'? Are you insinuating that you're not a part of the Crystal Gems?" Peridot asked with more than a bit of suspicion.

Lapis sighed and prepared the conversation that she was sure would happen eventually "No Peridot. I am not part of the Crystal Gems. If Homeworld were to invade Earth again I would fight back with you guys, but I'm no Crystal Gem. Other than you and Steven, I barely like them and as far as I'm concerned our ideals don't exactly fit together either." Lapis wasn't looking forward to the conversation she would have to have about this. She knew Peridot pretty well because they spent so much time together here in the barn, and she knew that Peridot was going to argue that Lapis was part of the Crystal Gems whether she liked it or not.

"Lapis, I understand if you don't quite care for Earth as the other gems do, and I also understand that you and the others aren't exactly on the best of terms. I can't think of a way to change how you feel about Earth but as for the Crystal Gems, I found them to be more amiable after taking time to understand who they are and spending time with them. It might be easier for you to like the Crystal Gems if you were to come out with us on missions. There have been more than a few missions that would have been much easier of you were there to assist us." Peridot spoke slowly like she was unsure of her words and Lapis could tell she was pleading. She had to admit she'd had little contact with the Gems after deciding to stay at the barn and before that her interactions weren't exactly friendly. She didn't want to admit it but Peridot might have been right. She really didn't know anything about the Gems.

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

"That's not an explanation."

"I don't have to fully explain myself."

"Yes, you do. It's the whole point of the conversation."

At this point Lapis was done conversing and decided to fly up to the top of the nearby silo. When she got to the top, she sat down and curled up and put her head in her knees. She didn't want to go on missions with the other gems. They put themselves in harms way to protect humanity and to capture the corrupted gems. Lapis didn't particularly care about either of those things. They didn't directly affect her and she wasn't keen on risking her life either. She also didn't want to interact with them all that much. It was nice to be out of her mirror but ,Steven and Peridot excluded, it had been a millenia since she held a civil conversation with another Gem. And even those exclusions were barely what anybody could call civil.

"I'm just tired of all of this. I just want to go back to how things were. Before the mirror. Before the rebellion. It wasn't perfect back then but at least I knew what to do. I knew what I wanted to do. Now I just have to while away the centuries with the grand choice of fighting with those Crystal Gems or sitting in boredom with Peridot. At least we get to make art when we have the pieces for it." She thought glumly.

"LAPIS!" Lapis heard shouting from below her and saw that Peridot was standing under the silo with a determined expression on her face.

"Oh boy. Join the Crystal Gems round two here we go." Lapis rolled her eyes. Something she'd seen Pearl do once or twice before. It had a certain sass to it and she liked that.

"What?" Lapis had peeked over the edge but refused to come down for the ensuing argument.

"Look. I'm not here to argue over the facts with you considering whenever we have arguments of this nature, you have a tendency to simply ignore me." She spoke quietly and Lapis had to strain herself to hear. "So I'll get to the point; You're a gem just like me and Amethyst, and Garnet, and Pearl. You're not going to change that. I understand the centuries haven't been very well for you being locked inside of a mirror for so long and then when you finally get out, you're not only sent back to this planet but you end up being trapped here for an extended period of time with- "

"Peridot, I don't want a recap of the misadventure that is my life. I want you to get to the point..," Lapis would rather not have someone tell her how horrible her life was. She was doing that well enough herself before Peridot got back.

Peridot looked a little surprised at the indication that Lapis was actually listening but she quickly recovered.

"R-Right… What I'm saying is, it would probably be better for you if you began to socialize with the other gems again. I'm not very good at understanding the feelings of others but I understand that you aren't particularly fond of them. I can't change your views on that but I can help you change them yourself. I wanna work a deal with you. If you'll go on just two missions with the rest of the gems, I'll oblige however you feel afterwards and never bring it up again." Peridot finished sounding sincere. Lapis was a little surprised. Peridot hadn't spoken that sincerely since the time she attempted to convince Lapis to stay at the barn with her.

It was a shame that her efforts wouldn't be rewarded.

"No."

"But Lapis!"

"That's it Peridot. This conversation is over. Now can you please get off the subject so that we can go back to watching TV?"

"… Fine."

Later that evening as Lapis and Peridot sat inside the truck, Peridot successfully attempted sleep for the first time. She had spotted the phenomenon on TV and thought to test its effects on Gems. The little green gem was promptly out after that, leaving Lapis once again alone in her thoughts.

She was back to thoughts about the Crystal Gems. Well, thoughts of how to while away the years with no clear cut purpose anymore. She really had to wonder how the Gems did it. Back on Homeworld, everything and everyone had a purpose. Sure, there were a few entertainments, there were great libraries for great writers and poets, there were arenas to watch fighters battle in, there were even theaters of sorts to watch stages of plays. But in the end, everyone would always return to their role. But… Here Lapis was free to do what she wanted. Anything at all. She could even take to studying the humans and acting like them. Live what the humans would call a normal life. But she'd never do that. She didn't know the first thing about human society. Nor did she really care to live her life as a human. But still, maybe she should join with the Crystal Gems… Just so that she would have something to do.

"Peridot." She called out to Peridot to wake her up seeing as that was the most common thing the humans on TV did to wake one another up but she didn't seem to be responding. "Peridot!"

"What did the humans usually do next on TV? It involved some sort of physical contact… Oh, I remember now, they usually..."

SMACK!

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Peridot screamed and flailed in surprise and outrage when Lapis slapped her hard across the face. Lapis took note of Peridot using one of the new phrases they'd heard on TV.

"You wouldn't wake up and that's usually what the humans on TV do when someone doesn't wake up." Lapis responded with a nonchalant expression.

"Maybe if you're a complete clod! Normally you just shake them awake! Did you not notice they tend to be absolutely furious after being slapped awake!?" Peridot shouted shrilly, glaring daggers at Lapis.

"Huh, I'll keep that in mind next time you decide to do that sleeping thing." Lapis responded drily.

"What do you even want? You completely ignored me earlier today and now you've attacked me in my sleep." Peridot got up from the truck and went to sit on a large pile of blankets. "Did I do something to you? Do you not want to stay in the barn with me anymore? Because if you don't, you can just use those stupid wings of yours and fly away like you do any other time you don't want to talk!" Peridot shouted the last sentence at Lapis.

"I just wanted to tell you I changed my mind, and was okay with your stupid deal and I didn't mind going on missions with you and the other gems. But if you're just going to yell at me like you're doing now then I'm better off staying here in the barn!" Lapis shouted back.

Peridot prepared a response but stopped before she could let out the retort. "Really? You'll come with me and the other gems?"

"Yes. Just don't expect me to be friendly with everyone right away..."

At this Peridot jumped up excitedly. "Yes! Don't worry Lapiz Lazuli, you'll be friends with the other Gems before you know it." Peridot said with a large grin.

"I hope you're right..." Lapis muttered to herself. Hopefully this wasn't a mistake.

*A/N: I think that means author's note? Probably. Maybe. Anyways, Hi there! Thanks for making it to the bottom of the first chapter of this mess. Especially if you read this before this edit. (The grammar and punctuation errors… horrifying.) I just wanna say that this is the first fic I've come up with and I would appreciate it if you would leave a review letting me know what you thought of it whether you liked it or not. It helps me to become a better writer and lets me know what others think of the fic. Thanks in advance, and I'll try to leave notes at the bottom of each chapter as a means to communicate with some of the reviewers as direct response doesn't seem to be available on the app. For example…

-kurona7: Hmmm interesting. I'll be honest, I'm hoping it the romance will be shipping Lapidot, but I don't mind other ships. This seems to have a nice writing to it.

-dxzstar: I'm glad you thought it was interesting. I flat out thought it was bad haha. As for who she's being shipped with, that's gonna be part of the fun in this fic. I've planned exactly two chapters and after this next chapter I have only the barest hint of what I want to do haha #poorplanning

Something like that. Well, I guess I'll see you all in the next chapter as Lapis finally has an extended (and hopefully non-violent) conversation with the Crystal Gems. Thanks and swift winds everybody!