The sounds of lightning and rain crashed and boomed through the air, nearly causing you to jump out of your skin before you settled down against the damp trunk of the tree. Nobody could see you crying in the rain, and the fog that picked up around the area hid you from any passerby-not like there would be any in these conditions. The cold, drenched feeling that crawled on your skin matched your emotions. The blaring crackling of lightning that exploded through the air reciprocated your anguish, all the pain that jolted through you from head to toe. You buried your head into your hands that laid on your knees and bawled into them. The grass underneath you was sopping wet, which soaked through your jeans, as the rain battered the leaves above you, dripping down heavily onto your head, soaking through your hair. By choice, this is how you wanted to be right now. You wanted to soak in this storm, you wanted to cry in a place that seemed as gloomy and lowly as you did, and a part of you justified that you deserved it-that you embraced it. The lightning that shot through the sky once more, hid a well-timed wail of distress. The crash of lightning was comfortable to you now.
As time went on, your shoes were entirely soaked with rainwater, and there was not a single article of clothing that you wore that wasn't soggy. You still didn't feel much better. Maybe you'd catch a cold out here, only adding to your heartache, or maybe you'd be struck by lightning. Whatever it was, come as it may. Your emotions sunk and drowned in this torrent, which was likely where you'd stay until your mind convinced you to find shelter. You cried into your hands once more, wiping a couple stray drops near your eyes that bothered you, before viciously planting your head back onto your legs. It was at that moment you heard footsteps that sloshed through the large, muddy puddles that collected in the mucky grass.
"Whoever could it possibly be?!" You thought to yourself, the anger of having your solitude interrupted shattering your thoughts of despair. You wouldn't dare vocalize them however, for your emotions were too flustered to maintain your aggravated mood.
"Hey! Is that... What the hell are you doing out here?!" The angered voice shouted through the heavy fog. You clenched your fists and took a deep breath, before your misery overtook your emotions once more, as you sobbed into your hands again.
"What the hell are you DOING out here?" The figure repeated.
"Have you gone INSANE?!" They roared as they walked up to you. You could finally make out who it was: Chara.
"I saw that you were missing, and I thought you'd gone for a walk. I waited a little while and heard lightning out here, and asked why on earth you'd be going for a walk in THIS!" Chara scolded, as your heart dropped in your chest. You managed to choke up a sentence that held some form of umbrage in your voice.
"G-Go away Chara...!" You demanded, before you broke into sobs that stabbed at your heart. You were "enjoying" the company of the weather, and didn't need anyone else right now.
But Chara's expression changed immediately when you sobbed and replanted your head. Their voice sank down to a calmer level, but still holding somewhat of a scolding tone.
"No way... I'm not leaving you out here in this weather. You could get struck by LIGHTNING out here, and look at you, you're soaked!" Chara reached for one of your arms to pull you along with them, but you snatched it back, as your voice immediately raised to an unintentional volume, that was clearly audible over the sudden boom of lightning.
"You don't understand! You don't know what I feel right now, I just want to be left alone!" You cried out at Chara. You felt a hint of guilt in your stomach, but it quickly subsided as you stared into Chara's face. You were certain that you looked like some kind of monster the way that your emotions sprawled out on your face. Chara frowned and seemed taken aback by your harsh gaze and tone.
"It's not going to HELP if you stay here and soak your head under a tree during a THUNDERSTORM!" Chara justified, sounding more worried about your well-being than anything else. They REALLY didn't understand. They didn't know what it was like to feel so broken down that the rain was your only comfort, that to be alone and cold was the only liberating thing that you could feel right now. This is exactly why you had come here.
"W-Whatever!" You defied, refusing to even look at them anymore. Chara went silent, and for a minute, you thought that they had left. You didn't even bother to get up and check, but you were conflicted as to whether or not you really wanted Chara to go away now that they had already come. Chara took a deep breath, as they closed their eyes to the roar of another blast from the sky. It didn't seem like the storm was going farther away. They wiped their eyes and adjusted their mopped hair from the rain.
"L-Listen to me, okay? When I couldn't find you and saw this storm outside, I nearly went INSANE looking for you." Chara admitted sheepishly, trying to maintain their gruff voice with you. They sat down by your side, but didn't try to put their hands on you.
"I got really angry when I found you, because I thought... I thought you were hurt." Well that wasn't helpful. Of COURSE you were hurt, although a part of you knew they were talking about the storm.
"It doesn't help to yell at me." You murmured.
"What? Take your head out of your hands!" Chara said, before they added on.
"Please." You had hardly ever heard Chara say please before, let alone use manners in general. This caught your attention, as you raised your head and hung your chin onto your legs.
"Now, TELL ME what's wrong." Chara took their raincoat off and draped it over your body and crossed their arms. Chara was really trying; trying more than you thought they were capable of. It didn't seem like they were leaving without you, so you figured if you told them, they might understand and get off of your case.
"It's... Everything." You answered meekly. The pouring rain drowned out your sentence.
"What? You have to speak louder!"
"IT'S EVERYTHING, CHARA!" You shouted at the top of your lungs, the pent up stress and anger finally exploding from your chest. The sky boomed with another jolt of lightning. The timing made the situation even more dramatic, as Chara recoiled at the force of your voice. You had never screamed that loudly in your entire life, and to be honest, it kind of scared you too. You didn't know your voice could even be that loud. Your throat tingled from the force of your scream.
Chara was almost speechless at this point. They had known what true frustration was, regardless of how much you told them otherwise. They too had broken down, but mostly kept it isolated to themselves, and not out in a thunderstorm for that matter. What they must have thought about you. You braced yourself for a brutal tongue lashing from Chara, but they didn't say anything. A grin spread on their face as they stretched their hand out over their eyes and let out a strange noise.
"This... This is how I deal with my anger." They admitted calmly, only raising their voice to be slightly louder than the current downpour.
"I... I bottle it up sometimes. I want to be alone. I don't want to feel weak for not expressing it."
"It's not just anger I'm feeling Chara." You tried to explain.
"It's... A lot of things. Things I can't... I can't put into words. It's the worst I've ever felt, and I don't want to feel better from it... and I guess that's what scares me the most; I... I WANT to feel better, but I don't." You spoke civilly. Your body was starting to shiver from the gradual drop in temperature, which left your body feeling numb and cold.
"You don't want to feel better. You want to sit and wallow in it, let your emotions take control and feel what it's like to hurt." Chara clarified for you.
"What you want is to be alone, to let your feelings run their course and then move on; try to." Chara must have noticed you were shivering at that point, as they brushed your hair back so it wouldn't drip down your face, and pulled the raincoat's hood over your head.
"Be where it's cold and dark, where you make yourself feel like you deserve it." Alright, now this was getting scary.
"How did you-" You started, before Chara immediately interjected.
"-Know? Easy. I've done it." They stated blatantly.
"You think I don't understand. That happens. You want to feel like nobody understands you, so that you can trick yourself into thinking you don't NEED anyone." Chara hung their head for a brief moment, as the lightning shattered the silence. Chara made a noise that sounded like a mix between a laugh and a cry. They raised their head, as their smile had shifted into a sharp frown. Their eyes were slightly reddened. Were they... Crying? The rain disguised Chara's tears-if there were any- but the sadness in their voice showed enough.
"It's pouring out here... the rain is crashing down and the lightning... The lightning is fierce." Chara stated absentmindedly, as though they had lost track of the topic at hand.
"Think of it for a moment. Don't think of what's hurting you, don't think of tomorrow, don't even think of yesterday. Only right now. Even if it's... Hard to get your mind off of it." Chara explained, their hands laying on the ground next to yours.
"It's not... not that easy."
"Just try."
You closed your eyes and leaned back against the soggy bark of the tree. You felt the raindrops pattering onto your skin from the tree above. You took a deep breath and absorbed the scent of the fog, the rain, the mud... It all hit you at once. The scents brought a tranquil feeling to you, as you felt a little more connected with the area around you. You had been crying for so long, you hadn't bothered to take in more of the scenery that you only used to sate your pain. The thunder, the rain… in the light of misery, it was only there to put you down. But taking a deep breath, and trying as hard as possible to think away from your pain brought new perspective. You opened your water-stained eyes and looked over to Chara.
"It helped a little." You admitted to them. The part of you that wanted to bathe in your misery grew weaker, but its appetite grew slightly stronger. The urge to ignore your senses poked at your mind; after all, it DID feel like you were starting to catch something like a cold.
"Don't do it." Chara chimed in as they saw you staring off into the stormy sky.
"Don't do-" You were cut off.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about." Chara said. They crossed their arms in their lap and looked over to you.
"Don't do it. Don't let yourself give into the pain. The rain, the lightning… the feeling of being alone-don't let them win. You're only hurting yourself."
It seemed like Chara was speaking down to you in a way, as though they had complete control over their emotions. Sure, they knew what it was like, but you couldn't just blink your eyes and get over it.
"I can't just stop how I feel." You emphasized. Chara took a deep sigh.
"I'm not asking you to stop feeling. I'm asking you to try to pull yourself together a little bit." Chara said gently. It still rolled over your emotions a little bit.
"I-I know I should feel better, everyone wants me to feel better. I try not to think about what happened, but then I have to actually deal with it." you said.
Chara scooted closer to you, as their fingers rubbed against one another anxiously. They took a deep breath, (one that was a little too audible) and gave you a hug. This… was the first time that Chara had ever hugged you. You had tried before to hug Chara on other occasions, but they'd groan and break away from you. You felt your stale emotions loosen a little bit, as Chara squeezed you tight… a little too tight. You were starting to gasp for air before too long, as you tried to push back on Chara's shoulders.
"Ch-Chara I can't br-breathe!" You wheezed, as your damp clothes squeezed tightly against your skin, causing you to yelp. Chara finally released you from their grasp.
"Oh, so now you're the one pushing me away when I give YOU a hug? You're always asking for them!
"Yeah, but you nearly chocked the life out of me!"
Chara's face flushed in embarrassment, as they blurted out.
"W-whatever! I was just… trying to help you feel better!" Chara said, crossing their arms and huffing at you. You appreciated Chara's effort, but from their violent bear hug, you could tell they weren't an experienced hugger, but the intention warmed your heart a little bit.
"It's okay, Chara… it did help me feel a little better." You admitted, almost panting to catch your breath.
"Fine… well then I'm glad I did it…" Chara mumbled to you as another streak of lightning blew through the clouds above. Chara knew that they had to get you out of this storm already, and by now, the raincoat was doing little to protect your body.
"Listen… I know you want to stay out here… I know you'd rather just let yourself feel bad and drift off in this storm, but you need to pull out of it. You're soaked from head to toe, and so am I." Chara groaned, trying to rub their face of the excess raindrops that streaked down their face.
"I'm sorry…" You apologized with a deep sigh. You started to feel a little absurd for your tantrum, and felt badly that you dragged Chara all the way out here looking for you.
"Don't be. It happens to everyone, but that doesn't mean there isn't a way out of this. Now… lets get moving before I… give you another hug."
You shook your head in disbelief and smiled a little bit, as you stood up and crossed your arms, the minuscule grin still wide on your face.
"You're really gonna make me..? Ugh, fine. Better hold your breath though!" Chara teased a little, a smile growing on their face as they nearly squeezed the life out of you. Somehow, through the rib-crushing hug you received, you were able to let out a small giggle, that eventually turned into a hardly laugh, before all the wind in your stomach was nearly knocked out of you.