Author's Note: This oneshot takes place within the same timeline as my semi-AU main fanfiction, Beyond Aperture though hopefully it makes sense on its own. I had to re-write it from the bottom up; the original draft for the fanfiction is over a year old (from my early days of writing) but I wrote myself into a dead-end. Then I gave up on it for a while and then came back to it after I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Anyways I hope you enjoy it. (Also, thanks to my friend who nagged at me to post it despite my awful self-confidence issues at the moment.)
It was just another Extended Relaxation Chamber among thousands, all of them carbon-copies of one another, all of them resembling a cheap motel room.
Not that Wheatley actually knew what a motel room was; anyways, he had bigger things to worry about, such as getting as bloody far away from this place as he could before the reactor blowed to smitheroons. When he thought about it, he realized he didn't have any idea what a smitheroon was, either, except that it sounded like something that would be the result of the reactor melting down.
Anyways, back to the point... Which was escaping. Yes, escaping. It was one of his more clever ideas, very clever, indeed. Of course, he'd have to enlist the help of a human; he had no limbs, so he was rather limited in that aspect. Still, anything sounded better than getting blowed to smitheroons; although he wasn't sure what that would be like, he had a fairly good feeling that it would be painful, and Wheatley didn't like pain, so that was the type of fate he'd very much like to avoid.
Right. Escaping.
"Hello? Is anyone alive in here? No, wait, there is somebody alive in here, as the vital signs haven't dropped to zero, and when they do drop to zero, that's not a good thing. In fact, it's a rather bad thing for that to happen. Never good, that. Right, so, alive human person in there, would you mind opening the door for me? I'd do it myself, but they told me that if I ever went into a relaxation chamber without knocking first, I'd die, which is something I'd rather not do. Funny thing, though, they only told me that after I'd already done it once or twice, and I didn't die then, so I don't know why they told me that; though they told me that about everything. Right, so, open up, would you?
"No, wait! Maybe not English. Right, um... Bonjour, amigo. No, that isn't it either." The shutters of his optic narrowed, giving him the look of intensely concentrating of something. Then the door swung open of its own accord.
"Oh! So there is someone alive in here! I knew it! Except ... I don't see anyone. Hmm. But I knew someone had to be alive in here, because the vital signs weren't yet zero, and- hmm. Maybe this human is invisible. I wouldn't put that out of the question. So... ahem. Um. Hello, invisible... human... person. Hola."
Something moved. A tiny hand peeked out from under the covers of the ancient, dust-covered bed, followed by a pair of frightened brown eyes.
"Oh, there you are. Brilliant! Just brilliant there. For a moment there I thought I'd have to deal with somebody who, on top of being horribly brain-damaged, who was also invisible. As if I don't have enough to bloody worry about with the reactor about to blow to smitheroons and ten thousand other test subjects dead- wait a second, if anyone asks about that, don't say a word, okay? Zip. Zilch. This conversation did not happen. You know nothing about ten thousand bloody vegetables. All right?"
There wasn't any answer; the blanket pulled up, concealing the girl's face.
He shifted nervously on the rail, optic darting around the dark room. "Look, we don't have time to be playing games, okay? We need to go, right now! It's not like I have ten thousand other test subjects to pick from, is it? No, of course not, it's not like this place is about to explode-"
The only response was a small sniffling noise.
"No, no, too aggressive, she's only a bloody kid, don't scare her like that..." he muttered to himself, trying to lower himself from the rail as much as he possibly could to get a closer look. The blanket shifted. The girl was terrified: eyes wide, thumb in her mouth, and no more than five years old. As he examined her, she cringed backwards, knees tight against her chest.
Something changed in that moment their gazes met, but Wheatley was mostly unaware of the slight shift in his programming directives, a long-unused part of his programming being activated. All he knew is that all of a sudden he had a driving need- almost an itch, in a way- to protect her. That it was his duty to take care of her.
"No, let's try this again, shall we? Rrrright. Introductions. 'Ello. Pleased to meet you- no, that isn't it, either. Too formal. Think, Wheatley, think... ah, wait a second! I know! Ah, wait... that isn't it either. Just give me a moment luv. Hmm. Ahh, all right. Maybe if I contemplate in absolute silence I'll come up with an idea. Brilliant idea, that. Classic. So... absolute silence. Do not speak. Starting now. Complete quiet. Right now."
He wasn't paying attention to the girl. If he had, he would've noticed the girl slowly lifting her hand to poke him in the optic.
He shot backwards on the rail. "Wait there a second, what are you doing?! It's very sensitive there, I'll have you know, and it's rude, bloody rude at that, to just poke someone in the eye. If I came right over there and poked you in the eye, you'd be furious, and I wouldn't blame you, as poking people in the eye is just rude. Not that I could actually dothat, having no arms or legs or any sort of appendages to poke you with, but you get my point, it's just unfair that-"
She shot backwards, hiding herself under the blankets again. A small, shivering huddle.
"Nonononono! Wait a second! Did I scare you, luv? I did, didn't I? No, I'm sorry, I didn't- agh, I mean- it's all right. Don't worry. I won't hurt you, promise, Actually, I don't know how I could hurt you, besides dropping onto your head, and I've been told I'd die if I disengaged from the management rail, so the point there is moot. Though- just- no, don't be scared. Come on out from under that... blanket... covering... blanket thing. There. Good girl. Don't worry, ol' Wheatley's got your back."
The girl cautiously reached up and touched his optic again, much more gently.
"That's my optic, luv."
She giggled, moving her hand to his side.
"Annnnnd... that's my side. Careful there, I'm-" He struggled to stifle a bit of laughter. "Ticklish!"
The girl giggled again, touching the foam covering of his lower handlebar.
"Annnnd that's my handlebar. Are you having fun touching me, luv? Not that there's anything wrong with a bit of fun; in fact, having fun can be important. Very important. Right, so where were we? Hmm. Ah, escaping. Also a very important thing- not to diminish the importance of fun, of course, after all, all play and no work makes Jack a dull boy- actually, I don't know anyone named Jack. Do you? Anyways, wait, it's just a figure of speech. Of course. I knew that all along. I know figures, after all. Right. So. As I was saying, I don't mean to diminish the important of having fun, but at the moment, escaping is just a little more important. In fact, it's the top priority. Above everything else. Top of the list. A-plus. Right. So... let's start with the basics, shall we? Say 'apple.'"
She blinked up, uncomprehending.
"Easy word, apple. Apple, classic, simple, apple. Red Delicious, Granny Smith, McIntosh. Apple. Ay-double pee-el-ee. No, you're not speaking, are you? Right, I forgot, cognitive deterioration. You've been under for... quite a long time. So it isn't out of the question, I mean, I wouldn't put it out of the question, although you might. Denial is a common effect of being told you've got massive brain damage."
"Orange. Apple. Orange."
"What was that, luv? Anyways, as I was saying, no, definitely should not put it out of the question, as it's very much a possibility. About... Where were we again? Oh, right, apples-no, wait-"
"Es...cape."
"Right! So. Hm. Let's stay optimistic here. Small steps and all. Now, just... hm, try to stand up. On your feet. Well, I suppose you could also do a handstand, but that... well, I suppose, in theory, we could escape the facility with you walking on your hands. Don't see why you would want to, though. Right... oh, wait! You're standing! Good job the- R-right. Tremendous. You're doing- agh, actually-"
His last words sort of choked in his vocal processor as, trembling, exhausted, the girl collapsed back onto the bed. At this new angle, he could see that she was thin, much too thin, and...
"Warning: Vital signs are dropping," the Announcer's slightly-tinny voice announced to him.
Wait a minute-no-they were going to escape! And she was so young and-
An odd, cold feeling settled in Wheatley's processors, almost seizing them up. Although it wasn't the first human in his care who had died (the prior four he had attempted to escape with before her was an attestation to the fact that he was terrible at keeping his humans alive), it just-
He couldn't-
She shouldn't-
"Daddy?"
"Wait a second there, what exactly is it that you called me? Because if you called me 'daddy,' which is what I'm pretty sure you called me, I'm definitely not your dad, though, because we're not even of the same species, right? Actually, I'm not even part of a species because I'm a robot, you get my point there though, but biologically, it isn't possible, so-"
"Daddy? Are you... okay?" Her voice was smaller now, more tired. Her eyes began to glaze over, her senses slowly becoming dulled by the pain-killing drug of shock. Still, the way she was looking at him was nothing less than complete and utter trust.
"...On the other hand, I don't see any harm in it, so I guess I could let it slide. Right. So." The whirring of the core's cooling system slowed down a bit as his processes clicked back to normal. "Nope. Wait, I mean yes. Yes, I'm okay. Never felt better, actually. Absolutely dandy. No problem whatsoever."
He came to a quiet decision. There was no way-absolutely no bloody way, whatsoever, even if it did result in him getting blowed to smitheroons- he was going to leave the poor girl here, alone and scared, to face whatever it was that humans faced when they died.
So, for the next hour and a half, he did just that, very much aware of the reactor inching ever closer to meltdown, but forcing himself to stay cheerful, not only for her sake, but also perhaps his own. "Right... so, outside. I've never actually been outside, mind you, but I like to think it's brilliant. Just brilliant. The sunshine, the plants singing- I actually have never seen plants singing, actually, at least the ones around this place haven't, but there was this... story I once read. Not quite on the level of Machiavelli or Brothers Maskarasknikoff, but quite a good little story. It was about this bloke called John Freeman who had to help his brother. Very noble of him. Right. So. Anyways in this story the plants did sing. On the other hand, it is a story, so perhaps it's only in the story that the plants sing; after all, I've never, ever, ever, ever seen any of the plants in here singing. Though the Enrichment Center doesn't exactly inspire one to burst into song, does it? So maybe it's just the general mood of this place, which is about to blow to smitheroons, but let's not worry about that. Though, anyways, I've never actually seen the outside. I'd like to, though. Actually, anywhere. I imagine even outer space is better than-"
"Daddy?... C-can I sleep?"
"Ah... sleep. Rrrright. Sleeping. Of- Of course you can, luv. Sleeping's very important, you know. Very important, for..." He trailed off, strangely lost for words. Once again, the cold feeling gripped his processors, leaving him numb.
"...S-stay here? 'Till I go to sleep?"
"Of course I will, luv. Don't you worry, ol' Wheatley's a robot of his word. No need to worry, I'll stay rrrright here. Won't move from this spot. Not an inch. Unless, of course, some form of external force makes me move, and I highly doubt that happening, but other than that, staying right here. There. Just go to sleep now, it'll be alright, I'm right here. G'night, luv."
Although the girl looked pale and exhausted, she also was smiling as she drifted off. In less than ten minutes, there was that Announcer's voice again.
"Occupant shows no vital signs. Please alert an associate for a mandatory grief counseling session, followed by- W-W-W-WARNING: All test subjects should immediately vacate the Enrichment Center."
Still, for a few minutes, Wheatley remained, his optic drifting shut, strangely silent.
"WARNING: Reactor core safeguards are now shutting down."
His optic popped open, his hard drive speeding up. Yes, escaping. That had been his original plan. Escaping, at this moment, was the top priority. He had almost forgotten about it-
One human left. One more chance for him.
If this last one died...
No. He wasn't going to lose another one of his humans. Not again. They were going to escape, no matter what.
He tried to pull himself together. In the last few days, he hadn't really gotten a proper chance to slow down and recharge his batteries, so his metaphorical nerves were taut with a mixture of fear and exhaustion as he rushed to the last relaxation chamber that just so happened to be online and knocked on the door.
"Hello? Anyone in there? Helloooo?"