CHAPTER ONE

It is what was quickly becoming a typical Saturday at the Fowl Estate; Artemis is watching Beckett and Myles, which consists mostly of Myles rambling on about the latest mold experiment he's working on while Beckett creates masterpieces with his finger-paints. Artemis certainly can think of several other, entirely illegal, ventures he'd rather be pursuing on this Saturday, but Angeline has been insistent Artemis baby-sit the twins on Saturdays so they have some "bonding time" while she and his father watch a movie or go shopping, whatever activity they decide to do for date night. Its not that he doesn't like watching his twin brothers, its just listening to them babble on and on about their seemingly pointless three-year-old toddler opinions quickly becomes tiresome, not to mention the headache its causing.

The nursery door opens slightly and butler pokes his head in.

"There's someone at the front gate who wants to speak to you."

Artemis jumps up, delighted at the opportunity for even the slightest break. "Watch them for me please." He says, practically running out of the room to the surveillance room down the hall. It isn't until he opens the door to the surveillance room that the thought dawns on him he has no idea who would want to talk to him on a Saturday. The thought doesn't discourage him from checking the video footage of the front gate.

What he sees surprise him. There is a girl there, a girl around his age give or take a year. Its raining, and the girl has her arms wrapped around her to keep warm, she looks miserable. Her medium length brown hair is clinging to her face, and her thin jacket she's wearing is so soaked at this point its definitely not helping her situation. With no evidence of transportation, it seems as though she must have walked to the manor, but from where, and why? He presses the intercom button to talk to her.

"This is Artemis Fowl, state your business."

The girl jumps, startled at the sudden voice she hears. It takes her a second to recover.

"Oh, okay, well my name is Tinsley, Tinsley Collins, and my car broke down about a mile from here. You're the first house I've came to since I started walking, I was hoping I could use your phone?" Her voice sounds fuzzy and shaky through the room's speakers, and her hazel eyes are pleading.

Of course there are no houses within five miles either way of the Fowl's estate, this is a fairly isolated part of Dublin. If he doesn't let her call a tow truck or something at his house, she'll have to walk at least another six or seven miles in this downpour until she found someplace where she could.

"Alright, you can use the phone." He opens the gates and watches her walk up the driveway, shivering violently the whole way. She looks pitiful, and he feels for her.

"Butler, we have a visitor." Artemis calls as he rushes to the front door to let her in. Artemis didn't hear him follow, but butler is beside him as he opens the door to let Tinsley in. As soon as she steps inside, butler motions to grab her purse. Tinsley backs away, horrified both at the action and the huge man standing in front of her.

"He wants to check for weaponry." Artemis states flatly, a tinge embarrassed. Butler is always thorough at protecting him, but this seems a bit overboard.

"Oh, right, because I keep a pistol or something tucked right under my mascara and lip-gloss." Tinsley quips.

Artemis suppresses a snicker at her comment before shooting butler a glare that says don't push it.

"The phone is this way," Artemis says as he walks toward the kitchen, the room housing the closest phone. Tinsley follows, but not after taking off her mud covered shoes so as not to track sludge throughout the house. Her clothes make sloshing noises as she walks, and she leaves a small trail of water on the entrance room's wooden floor. When she reaches the phone she breathes an audible sigh of relief, after which she proceeds to dial the number of a tow truck company, a number she apparently keeps in her purse, written on a crumpled piece of paper, just for this kind of situation. Artemis doesn't stay to listen in on the conversation, as fascinating as eavesdropping on a phone call to a tow truck company can be. He returns to the nursery to resume watching the twins, to find Beckett has decided the wall is more fun to paint on than paper.

"Beckett, what am I going to do with you?" Artemis says, barely containing his anger.

"I told him not to, but the simple-toon wouldn't listen to me." Myles says.

A few minutes of scrubbing the wall with bleach water later, butler steps into the room with Tinsley, and he looks slightly agitated.

"It appears Tinsley can't find a ride home."

Artemis raises an eyebrow at this development.

"Its just, I don't actually live around here and my mother can't exactly pick me up today."

"What are you doing so far from where you live, Tinsley?" Artemis asks.

"I sort of - I really needed to get away for a little bit."

There's more to it than that, he can tell by the way she says it but decides not to push the subject further.

"Alright then, I'm sure my parents won't mind if you stayed the night here."

Butler clears his throat. "It'd be no problem for me to drive her to a motel for the night."

Artemis dismisses butler's suggestion. "That's not very hospitable."

Since when are you ever hospitable? butler wants to say, but bites his tongue.

"If you'll follow me, I'll show you to the bathroom so you can take a shower and get out of those wet clothes." butler says, his true intention to get Tinsley out of the room so he can talk some sense into Artemis.

"But I don't have a change of clothes -" Tinsley realizes, disheartened.

"My mother is about your size, you can borrow something of hers until your clothes are washed."

Tinsley smiles, and Artemis feels his heart beat a tinge faster.

"You have to be the nicest person I've ever met. Seriously," she says before following butler to the bathroom.

Butler and Artemis both almost burst out laughing at this; Artemis being called nice, this had to be a first, probably would be the last time to. Less than a minute later butler returns to the nursery, not holding back his agitation as clearly as before.

"Why would you say she can stay the night?"

"Well, look at her situation. I felt like being nice, is that so odd?"

"Is that a rhetorical question, sir?"

"Alright, I'll concede, it is the slightest bit out of my character, but think about this butler: one day I'll have to get married, if for no other reason than to conform to the expectations of society, and in order for this to happen, I have to gain a tinge of experience in talking to girls. This is a golden opportunity."

"You just think she's pretty, don't you?"

Artemis doesn't answer, just shrugs his shoulders.

"You should just let me drive her to a motel." He throws her purse to Artemis, who clumsily catches it. "Look inside."

"You went through it?" Artemis only momentarily looks appalled as butler nods.

Artemis doesn't see the point of discussing it, what's done is done, so without a word he quickly rummages through the purse, amazed at how much she can fit in such a seemingly small space, until he reaches the document butler wanted him to find.