Once the Kira case was closed , Mello was never the same again .He didn't laugh , didn't smile , didn't talk to Matt as much as he used to , didn't even throw tantrums at all anymore , it's like all emotion have been drained from him , for months he has been this way , just sitting around looking into space thinking , Matt was always there with him , he always looked at him, thinking maybe he'll meet his gaze like he used to maybe he'll get angry and throw a fit, really, Matt was up for anything to get the old Mello back .He did all sorts of things to piss him off, put the volume as high as it can be when he was playing , smoked inside the house ,wore pink pajama's in hopes to cheer his friend up , he bought his favorite chocolate ,he talked to him a lot in order to annoy him , but nothing ever worked, like he was some kind of a stone replacing the usually angry blond..

Today didn't seem any different , the blond woke up at five in the morning to find Matt still on the floor playing one of his games, he sat behind him on the couch, Matt wasn't surprised the least bit , it has been like this for a while. "Morning" he said though he knew Mello wouldn't answer , he never did anymore .It was silent between them , you could hear the buttons' clicking on the controller , and the occasional 'Matt the king of games has won …again " happy dance, that of course Matt was performing .He was shocked , really when he heard Mello speak , he missed his friend's voice .."why?" the blond asked

"why what ?" Matt posed his game and turned to his friend, his lost expression was gone and now replaced by a frown .

"why the hell did you do it ? why the hell did you help me ? you made it clear when we were back at whammy's that you didn't give a shit about L's position , as you made obvious that Kira didn't matter the least bit to you, so why ? why risk your life for something you couldn't care less about ?"

Matt thought this through , wasn't it obvious why he did it ? but he had to answer." you needed my help"

"LIKE HELL I NEEDED YOUR HELP !" Mello shouted , Matt couldn't help but fear for his life, it's been a while since the blond had let his feelings out , so there was a high possibility that this situation would end up with a) a trashed apartment b) a dead or a severely injured Matt c) both of the previous options . There was no way out of this ..

"What was I supposed t do ? you were looking for someone to do the job , I happen to know how to drive , and.." he looked at Mello straight in the eyes " I just wanted to help my best friend ! is that such a bad thing ?"

"Help and get killed in the process are two different things ! if you weren't wearing that bullet proof jacket and the other shit to cover your arms and legs you could've been killed , what if someone shot you in the head ? you would be dead by now you idiot !"

"would you stop with the 'what if , what if ?' it didn't happen , we both survived , kira is dead , L is avenged , and you were the one who put the pieces together so why are you saying this now ? it's been two and a half months Mello , it's in the past let it lay there, stop sulking and let's move on !"

Mello glared at the redhead hard then spoke again "answer my question with the truth Matt , why the fuck did you help me ? and don't you dare say I needed you to , that's not a good enough reason that someone would risk their life for a friend "

So this was what this is all about huh ? he thought "you're not just a 'friend ' you're my best friend and have been since we were freaking kids, so yeah I'd do it again if I could, I'd die in a heartbeat for you, and you should know that before this happened …I love you .." the last three words came out on their own , Mello eyes widened in shock and his mouth opened and then closed like a fish , not knowing what to say he just stared at his friend , Matt was getting uncomfortable under the chocoholic's gaze so he started thinking of some way to get out of the situation , he knew Mello wouldn't stop being friends with him because he had feelings for the guy, but he didn't want things to change between them, he didn't want things to become awkward , they were beyond the phase where their bond could simply be cut off, it was just impossible, they were too close, they knew everything about each other and both believed that they would be best friends forever , as unreal as it sounds..

Mello recovering from his shock, his face softened as he looked at his friend terrified face, was about to reply ,but was cut off by the redhead who thought he found a way out of the situation..

"yeah , like I said I care about you dude ,I mean we 're best friends right ? and we should look out for each other "he gave the blond a nervous smile "you know I love you " the blonde's heart started beating incredibly fast and then completely went dead as the next word reached his ear ",man " the redhead laughed nervously "ha-ha hah ..of course I love you ,man .."Matt repeated his heart breaking at the blonde's expression , was that hurt , disappointment ? sadness? Why ? I thought I had relieved him when I said that..would it be awkward if I wanted to hug him now ? well I'm already screwed so ..the gamer stood and walked toward the couch , he stopped right in front of Mello he bent down and held the blond in his arms, he was surprise when Mello's arms snaked their way around his waist pulling him closer ,and resting his head on the smoker's shoulder . He heard the blond sniffle, he thought for a second that he was crying, but he thought nothing of it ,he heard him do it again , now he was curious, he slowly pulled away and was about to ask him if something was wrong when the blond shouted "YOU FUCKIN' ASSHOLE !I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH MY STUFF ! HOW MANY TIMES WILL IT TAKE FOR YOU TO ACTUALLY LISTEN ? DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKIN' EXPENSIVE THAT CHOCLATE SHAMPOO IS ! "

And a second ago I thought he was all fragile and love-y ..silly me Matt thought this one is more like the Mello I fell in love with , he mentally smiled ,running to the bathroom trying to escape an angry blond with an empty glass in his hand threatening to throw it in his friend's face ..damn ..I missed this ..

So this is a new fic obviously , it's mostly focused on Matt's thoughts and actions ..there will be more chapters and most likely won't take long since I wrote this thing in six minutes while having lunch XD so please tell me what you think , review ..?