A.N.: All right, readers! You knew it had to happen sooner or later, so here it is! My very first (and maybe last, who knows?) self-insertion fanfic! Hope you enjoy! One thing more: I don't own any of the Evangelion characters, descriptions, or plot devices. Those are the exclusive property of GAINAX.

Setting: This story will be told from my first-person perspective. All of us, the Eva kids are approximately seventeen (That's right, 17. It's AU, as is my usual story setting.). Kaworu Nagisa is not the Fifth Child, I am. Other than that, most other characters are basically the same. A few other changes to the story have been made, but I'll let you guys figure out where they happen. Where my story begins, it is shortly after the destruction of the Thirteenth Angel a.k.a. Evangelion Unit-03.

Chapter 1

I stepped off of the plane and inhaled deeply through my nose. I of course smelled jet exhaust and other fuel-based smells, but I also smelled something else; adventure. I had just arrived in Tokyo-2, the major city in post-Second Impact Japan, after a long trip from the good ol' U.S. of A. The reason I smelled adventure was, of course, the fact that I had heard all of the stories that were coming out of the city of Tokyo-3 about all of the alien attacks and of the Evangelion robots.

I couldn't, in good conscience, call the Evangelions "robots", though. They were far too fantastic to be such simple things as robots. I knew that the Evas were synthetic, cybernetic life forms designed with the purpose of defeating the beings known as "Angels". I wasn't sure why creatures that were trying to kill us all were named after messengers from heaven, but I didn't think about it too much.

I picked up my travel bag and headed for the airport terminal. Once there, I was greeted by two men in black suits; NERV Intelligence Department, by the looks of them. They didn't incline their heads to look at me, but I knew that even through their black, mirrored sunglasses, they were watching me.

"Are you the Fifth Child?" one of them asked, his voice very gruff and unfriendly.

"I am," I replied, "I'd like to say it's nice to meet you, but I'm not sure, yet."

I had attempted to make some humor, but, as I expected, neither of the stone-faced men laughed, or even cracked a smile.

"This way," the man said, "The Commander sent a car for you."

I nodded quietly. So, they were taking me straight to NERV Central, to meet with the mysterious Gendo Ikari. I had heard several rumors about the man during my time with the American branch of NERV. He was supposed to be a very icy, cold man with few or no feelings. I'd have to meet him to know for sure. That's always been a sort of gift of mine: I can tell instantly about people; their fears, their desires, their personality flaws, and even their hidden potentials. All of my old friends always said that I was psychic. I don't know maybe, in a way, I am.

I was led outside to a black limo. When the door opened, I was greeted by a blonde woman in a lab coat. I was instantly struck by my gift with realizations about this woman.

She wasn't a true blonde. In her youth, she had been a brunette. She was obsessed with science and…cats. It was almost funny to sense the cat obsession. Don't get me wrong, I love cats, but I don't understand how someone can make up for not having real friends with a bunch of stuffed cats. I could also sense a lot of deeper secrets that weren't coming readily to the surface. She was hiding things from herself, as well.

"Hello, Andrew," she said in a friendly tone, "I'm—,"

"The famous Dr. Ritsuko Akagi," I finished, shaking her hand, "I've heard a lot about you."

"Have you now?" she asked, quirking an eyebrow, "Such as?"

"Such as, you're the driving force behind the Magi Supercomputers," I replied, "Such as, you're the leading brain behind Project 'E'. Need I go on?"

"Not at all," Ritsuko chuckled, "You've studied our rosters then, I take it?"

"Just enough to know about you, Major Katsuragi, and the four other Eva pilots," I answered, "The person I'm most curious about is the mysterious Commander Ikari."

"Well, you're going to meet him soon enough," said Ritsuko, "We're going to meet with him now."

I laughed inwardly. When I mentioned Ikari, her body reactions jumped. I sensed one of her hidden secrets surface briefly. She was having an affair with him beyond their duties at NERV. Matter of fact, she was sleeping with him! It grossed me out to think about this cat-crazy woman being groin-buddies with my boss. However, I had blackmail ammunition on her now. I could keep this stored in memory for later.

"What about my Eva?" I asked, "Has he arrived yet?"

"It has," Ritsuko answered, "Your Eva got here yesterday and is waiting in the cage in cold storage."

Hearing Akagi refer to my Eva as an "it" sort of pissed me off. I know she didn't mean any harm, but I knew that my Eva had a male personality in it. I could sense him when I sat in my entry plug. What made me feel kind of weird about it was the fact that it felt like my brother was in the plug with me. I knew that my older brother was dead, though. He had died in a lab accident at NERV when I was about fourteen. That fact alone is what made me want to be a part of NERV; fulfilling his legacy and continuing the work he had started. Then, one day when I was fifteen, I was approached by several of the American lab technicians and told that I had been selected to be an Eva pilot. My training started from there, and I've been a pilot ever since. I've done every possible scenario on the simulator and mastered them all, but I've never faced a live opponent.

"When will I meet the other four pilots?" I asked.

"You'll only meet three of them," Ritsuko answered, "The Fourth Child was killed when his Evangelion was taken over by the Thirteenth Angel."

"Oh," I said, shocked, "I'm sorry."

"He understood the risks of his job when he agreed to be a pilot," said Ritsuko coolly, "As for the other three, you'll be meeting them soon enough, as well."

The rest of the trip passed in silence. So, I thought, there are only three other pilots. I wondered what they were like. As I rode, I ran my hands through my shoulder-length, wavy brown hair. I had let it grow since my brother died. He had also had longer hair. It was my way of making sure that a part of him would always be with me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a ponytail tie. Once my hair was back out of my face, I leaned back into my seat and closed my eyes.

A few minutes later, I felt the car being latched into place on a car-carrier train. As it pulled into a long tunnel, my world got very dark again. Then, a few seconds later, it brightened back up and I looked out the window. What I saw made me gasp in surprise. I was looking down over a huge expanse of land that was enclosed within a massive dome. It could only be a Geofront. The train wound its way down the wall of the dome in a long spiral pattern until it finally reached ground level. I saw a massive pyramid-shaped building looming larger and larger in my view.

"So, this is NERV Central Headquarters," I said softly.

"That's right," said Ritsuko, "This is where you'll be working from now on."

The transport stopped and the car pulled out. After a little bit, the car stopped and Dr. Akagi opened the door.

"If you'll follow me, please, Andrew?" she asked.

I slid out of the limo, still holding my duffle bag. The majority of my belongings had been shipped over by bulk freight. All of my important items I had placed in my duffle bag to travel with me. Among them was one of my plug suits as well as my neural link headset.

I followed Dr. Akagi into the building and immediately felt out of place. She led me with surprising speed through the winding corridors until we reached a large set of oak doors. She grasped one of the doorknobs and, without even knocking, opened the door and motioned me inside. Not wanting to make waves my first day on the job, I entered to dark office. Facing a glowing window was a high-backed chair. The next thing I heard in that silent space was a voice that filled me with a cold sense of apprehension.

"You are the Fifth Child?" came the, business-like voice.

"Yes, sir," I replied, "Are you Commander Ikari?"

"I am," said Ikari, turning to face me, "Your reputation as an ace pilot precedes you. I hope you won't disappoint me by not living up to it."

"I hope so too, sir," I answered, trying to suppress a chill that was running up my spine.

"You're dismissed," said Ikari, turning away from me again.

"Yes sir," I replied, grateful to be leaving such a depressing space.

As I left Ikari's office, I felt a sickening dread. The man was sick in the head! All I felt when I looked at him was obsession. He would manipulate anyone who was necessary in order to satiate that obsession. Exactly what he was obsessed with was impossible for me to tell; he had it buried too deep. It went beyond his thoughts. It was a part of who he was, now. He didn't even care about his extra-curricular affair with Dr. Akagi. She meant nothing to him; just an outlet for his animalistic desires. To be completely honest, he scared the hell out of me.

When I read the dossier on the other pilots, it listed the Third Child as one Shinji Ikari; his son, I assumed. I sincerely hoped that when I met the boy, the phrase "like father, like son" would not apply. However, I would, of course, have to wait until I met him to make that judgment.

The Second Child was an Asuka Langley Soryu. She was part German, part Japanese, and all attitude, if the stories about her were true. By age fourteen, she had graduated with a degree from a German university. With some help from the UN combined fleet and the Third Child, she had defeated the Sixth Angel while still at sea using only the B-type equipment (A.N.: If you remember from the show, B-type equipment is useless in underwater combat.). Since her arrival in Tokyo-3, she had battled another five Angels, including the Thirteenth. On one of those occasions, she had been dropped into a live volcano to try and capture one alive. I hoped that she wouldn't bowl me over with her personality when we finally met for the first time.

An enigma to everyone at NERV was the First Child, Rei Ayanami. She had no records at all, even when I pulled some strings at the American branch to try and access some of her classified files. Her past was a complete blank. This confused me. What was being hidden? Who was she? I looked forward to meeting her to try and find out. My thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Akagi's voice.

"You've been scheduled for a harmonics test for this afternoon," she said, "Just so we can get a baseline reading on your performance for our own records."

"Whatever," I said nonchalantly. After the number of harmonics tests I had sat through up to that point already, one more would hardly make a difference to me.

"Your record says that you've had no combat experience, is that correct?"

"That's right," I replied.

"In that case, we're also going to run a simulator scenario on you to see your potential combat reactions," said Akagi.

I rolled my eyes. Great, I thought, another boring run through the simulator;just what I didn't need after a long flight. I was shown to the locker rooms and told to put on my plug suit. I sighed and took my bag into the rows of metal closets. What I didn't expect to find, however, was another person in the locker rooms already.

He was a boy about my age with short, dark hair and stormy blue eyes. Immediately, I sensed a tranquil, almost quiet spirit within the boy and felt eased in his presence. He turned, hearing me approach.

"Hi," he said, extending his hand, "You must be Andrew. I'm Shinji Ikari."

"Yeah," I replied, "Wait…you're…the Commander's son?"

"Yeah," Shinji replied dully. He didn't sound at all proud of his father. Not that I blamed him; with a father like that, it would have been hard to be proud of him at all.

"You sound like you've got some father issues," I said, trying to make a joke, "My dad and mom divorced when I was just a little kid, so I never really got much chance to spend time with him. My stepdad was a bastard, though. I hated him. What about your mom? What does she think of your dad?"

"I don't know," Shinji replied, "She's dead."

His eyes fell as he told me this. Damn it! I don't know why I hadn't sensed it before. I immediately tried to apologize for such a bad taste comment.

"Don't worry about it," Shinji said calmly, "I don't remember anything about her, so it's okay."

"So," I said, trying to change the subject, "you're the legendary Third Child, huh? The same one who piloted an Eva on his first try without any training and defeated the Third Angel, as well as several more since?"

"I don't know about the 'legendary' part," said Shinji, blushing a little bit, "But, yes. I'm the Third Child."

"I also hear that you threatened to quit being a pilot a couple of times," said I.

"Just once," Shinji corrected me, "It was after I had beaten the Fourth Angel. I had disobeyed Misato's order to retreat and had gone after the Angel, anyway. I still don't know what she was so pissed about. I mean, I killed the damn thing. But anyway, after that battle, she yelled at me, and I guess I just sort of lost it. I ran away, and it took them almost three days to find me. I almost quit NERV and left Tokyo-3, but right as I was about to get on the train, Misato showed up and we sort of…reached an understanding. From then on, we've been like family. We live together, you know."

"Yes, I know," I responded, "I've read your files. What I'm curious about, though, are the other pilots. What can you tell me about them?"

"Well, if you've read our files, you know that Ayanami has no past. All of her records have been erased."

"I know that, too," I agreed, "What can you tell me about Soryu?"

"Oh, god," Shinji groaned, "Asuka? What's there not to say? She's arrogant, brash, harsh, demanding, saccharine, annoying—,"

"I think I get the picture," I said, interrupting him. Clearly, Shinji had little trouble picking out the flaws in the Second Child's character. However, I sensed something underneath all of the loathing: attraction. I suppressed a small smile. Shinji had the hots for Asuka, and he had them bad.

"Well," I said, "I'm overdue for a harmonics test and then a simulator run, so…"

"Yeah, I know," said Shinji, "I'm going to be right in there with you. They told me that I'm going to be your partner in the simulator. So, I guess I'll see you in a while."

"Sure."

Shinji turned and left the locker room, pressurizing his plug suit as he walked away. I quickly stripped off my clothes and donned my black plug suit. I always sort of enjoyed putting on the black material. I won't lie to you; I keep in pretty good shape. I try to hit the gym at least four times a week for weight-lifting, swimming and cardio work-outs. That being said, my plug suit shows off my muscles to such an extent that several of the female techs at the American branch approached me to ask me out on a date. I accepted a couple of them, but none of them were anything more than a couple of pretty wild one-night-stands.

A few minutes later, I was sitting in my test plug concentrating. Every couple of minutes, they would up the difficulty of the test, until, finally I started to lose my concentration. I heard Ritsuko's voice over the intercom.

"Very impressive, Andrew," she said, "Your scores are right up there with Asuka's."

"Thanks," I replied, "Can we get on with the simulator test, please? I've had a really long trip and I'd like to get some rest."

"Sure thing," came a new, feminine voice over the comm. I could only assume that this was major Katsuragi, "Let's get you out of that test plug and into your Eva."

A short walk later, I was standing in the cage, looking up at my dark-green Evangelion. The body design reminded me of a great, European dragon with its fearsome face, claw-like fingers, and spinal ridges. I asked the techs why they had designed it that way, and they said they didn't. Originally, when the Eva was constructed, it didn't have claws or ridges on its spine. Those things had appeared during its maiden activation. The techs feared a malfunction had occurred, and so they had tried to shut it down. However, the Eva refused to be shut down, not until it decided to.

I was always proud of my Eva, but I was sort of sorry that my brother never got to see me pilot him. I took the lift up to the pilot deck and boarded my entry plug. From there, I waited to be moved to the simulation chamber. My Eva was hooked up to the virtual reality programs and plugged into an umbilical cable.

All right, I thought, let's see which of the scenarios they put me into.

The simulation started up. I was standing in the middle of Tokyo-3 with Unit-01 beside me. Shinji's face and voice came up over the in-cockpit comm. line.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Sure," I replied in a bored voice.

Suddenly, a massive explosion sent our two Evas flying. It caught me completely by surprise. This was new.

"This is new!" I shouted, voicing my thoughts, "What the hell's going on?!"

My question was answered when a bolt from out of the blue blasted Unit-01 right in the chest. I heard Shinji cry out in pain. I was fighting not to panic. This wasn't any scenario that I had ever seen before.

"Unit-01 has ceased functioning," came one of the techs' voices.

"Andrew, you're on your own now!" came major Katsuragi's voice, "Let's see what you've got!"

A.N.: All right loyal readers and lucky people who just happened on this story, here's the deal. All reviews are welcome, unless you're just going to flame me, in which case, don't waste your time posting the review. If you do, I'll not only report it as abuse, I'll also block you from reading any of the rest of my stories.