BPOV

"Are you sure you have to go home already?" Cody asked me running his hand up and down my arm causing me to shiver, and giving me the urge to vomit. Or maybe that was the drugs making me feel nauseas.

"Yeah, Cody, I'm sure I have to go. If I stay out too late again tonight Charlie will have my head on a silver platter." I said pushing myself off the wall that I was leaning on. Only to have Cody push me right back, and press his lips to mine. I smiled playfully against his lips and pushed him away.

"I have to go." I said.

"How long Isabella?" He asked his eyes glazing over. I could tell that he was further gone than I was, and I was glad that he wasn't driving me home tonight, but his question caught me off guard and I was now confused.

"How long…what, Cody?" I asked him.

"How long are you going to make me wait?" He asked taking a few steps back from me. In the dim lighting of his house he was gorgeous. He had short brown spiked hair, and the most beautiful green eyes.

"Until I'm ready, baby." I said then leaned into him placing a kiss on his cheek, and grabbing my coat off the chair by the door.

I ran-walked to my car, it was so cold outside, the dead of winter. It's been two years, two years since they left. I was no longer the naïve little 17 year old Bella I was back then. I was 19 now, and I was able to make my own choices, I was ready to make them.

I sighed and opened the door to my truck. Just thinking about them almost killed me on my best days.

I stuck the key into the ignition and the engine roared to life. I backed out of Cody's driveway and up the street. It was a fair drive out to his house. You see, Cody lived in La Push, and if I hoped to make it back by curfew I'd have to book it.

I squinted my eyes trying to see past the haze of drugs. I wouldn't say drug addiction was…an addiction for me, it was more like a hobby that I picked up since school let out and boredom took over. And Cody wasn't my boyfriend, or someone I loved, just someone that I could do drugs with, a buddy.

The only addiction that I'd ever admit to having is cutting; mostly on my wrists and arms. It was something that I'd just recently picked up, something I could hide in the winter with long sleeves. I hadn't really thought through ahead into the summer and spring.
I parked my truck in the driveway, popped a piece of gum into my mouth, and ran a brush through my hair. I checked my reflection in the mirror, other than the much distorted look on my face I was good as new.

I crept into the front door, and closed it behind me. As expected Charlie was asleep on the recliner in the living. I almost laughed, but I was fully expecting him to be awake and bust me, but since he was sleeping I took this as a heaven send and ran up to my room, and changed into some pajamas.

Just in time, my door opened.

"Bella, when did you get home?" A bleary eyed Charlie asked.

"Just a little while ago, dad." I said smiling.

"Well, it's late so get to bed." He said.

"I planned on it, I'm just going to freshen up." I said and walked into the bathroom.

I didn't waste anytime. It was wrong of me to think of them. I was my fault that I was weak. My fault for everything. I picked up the razor which I had stashed in a box of tampons; the day Charlie opens those suckers up would probably never come.

I took the blade and ran it over the soft flesh of my arm. It make a light line, but didn't break the skin. I did it again. Then again. Then again, until I saw the blood; it ran down my arm and into the sink. I hated my blood, any and all blood for that matter; it made me sick.

But I hated my blood most. It's something that I had been cursed with, something that people want to kill me, people that didn't even know me. It made people pretend to love me.

BAM!

"What the hell?" I screamed as something was slammed into the bathroom window. The razor clattered to the ground as I picked up a towel and pressed it against the cut on my arm.

"Damn." I hissed.

"Bella, was that you? Are you okay?" Charlie was asking from outside the bathroom.

"Yeah…I-I just cut my leg shaving with a razor, and fell off the edge of the bath tub. I'm fine." I said.

"Alright well get to bed, it's not the time to be shaving anyway." He muttered and I listened until I heard his footsteps lead down the hall, and his door shut.

I moved over to the bathroom window, and peered out of it. Just in time to see a shadow fleeing from our yard. What the heck was going on?

"Bella, are you going out again tonight?" Charlie asked from the living room. To me it sounded like he was asking 'Bella, are you going off with your low life friend Cody to do drugs?' but of course he wasn't because he didn't know about Cody, and he definitely didn't know about the drugs.

"Yeah, dad, I'll see you tomorrow." I said.

"Tomorrow?" He said confused. Come on Bella, work your charm.

"Tomorrow, yeah. It's a party and it will probably run a little late, and I don't want to have to drive home half asleep and get into an accident." I said. Good job, Bella.

"Oh, well…Ok. Call me before 12, I'm not going to be up at all hours of the night waiting for you to call." He said then turned back to the TV, and I was free.

"Of course, be dad." I said. I opened the front door, and ran straight into Billy Black, and some other man that was standing behind him. He looked like every other La Push kid, tall, russet colored skin, dark eyes, and straight Black hair. There was something else about him that caught my attention, like I wanted to talk to him more, but I couldn't.

"Hello there, Bella." He said. Odd, how did he know my name when I had no idea who he was. He reached out to shake my hand, and immediately I was reminded of the scars on my arms.

I crossed my arms over my chest and said. "Hi." I turned to Billy next. "Charlie's in the house. I'm heading out so I'll talk to you later Billy…and…"

"Sam…My name is Sam." He said flashing me a bright smile.

"Sam." I said and nodded in his direction, then walked off the front porch and over to my truck. I hand my keys poised in my hand, and I had unlocked my door and opened it just as a strong had slammed it shut. Sam.

"What the hell?" I said turning to glare at him.

"Bella, you need to stop this." He said looking me straight in the eyes.

"What the heck are you talking about? I need to be somewhere, so can you just-"

"This, Bella." He said grabbing my hand and shoving it in my face. I was looking at many faded lines and a light pink fleshy one from last night. "You need to stop doing this." He said his voice softer.

"It's none of your business. You're not my father, I don't even know you. So how dare you tell me what to do!" I said and I tried to yank my door open again but his hand didn't move.

"Excuse me." I said annoyed.

"Doing that to yourself is no way to live." He said sadly.

"Maybe I don't want to live." I snarled with angst, a challenge in my voice.

"You don't know-"

"-What I'm asking for?" I interrupted him. "Maybe I do. Maybe I know exactly what I'm asking for." I thought back to the days when I wanted nothing more than to find love, and wished for my heart to stop beating. "Maybe I almost had it." I said mostly to myself but Sam heard it anyways.

"Am I supposed to pretend that I have no idea what you implied by saying that?" He asked, which confused the hell out of me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked frustrated.

"You know about the werewolves, Bella. About Jake, and Quil, and Embry. You know about all of them." He stated. True I did know, but how did he?

I didn't say anything, he already knew the answer.

"So what does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"To wish to be…one of those leeches, to want to live like that, feed like that…Bella you have no idea what…" He could barely speak, he was starting to shake violently. Then it dawned on me, then I knew what was going on. Sam was a werewolf too, he was part of the La Push pack. So of course he knew about the Cullen's, and of course he knew what I had been talking about.

"Sam, that's all I want. All I want is to be with them. Be like them." I said my tone flat, my voice never raising.

He reached out and grabbed my shoulders and gave me a quick shake. "Bella, quit it. You have no idea what you're asking for." He said.

"Stop treating me like a child!" I screamed. "I'm 19 for Gods' sake! I know what I'm asking for! I know what I want. But they left me. Sam, they left me." I said breaking down in tears. I felt myself go weak and he wrapped his hands around my waist supporting me, and I clenched my hands on his shirt.

"You're not going anywhere tonight." He said lifting me up, carrying my bridal style back into the house. Billy had Charlie turned away from the door, deep into conversation so Charlie hadn't even noticed us come back in.

Sam carried me up to my room and laid me down on my bed.

"Sleep, Bella." He said then kissed me on the forehead. He was gone and my door was closed. I couldn't find the strength to pull myself out of bed again, and I drifted to sleep.

JPOV

We all sat around the fire, Sam, Quil, Embry, Paul, Jared, Leah, Seth, Billy, and myself. It was deathly quiet as we all listened to the fire crackle and pop. It had been like this ever since Sam lost Emily. Ever since that Red headed vampire came back looking for Bella and took Emily instead. Of course we killed her.

That was two years ago, and I'm afraid Sam has never really got over it.

"Hey, Sam are you alright?" I heard Jared who was sitting next to him ask. Of course Sam said nothing and just stared into the fire.

"I wish that things could just get back to normal." I heard Quil whisper to Embry, or maybe to everyone, or no one in-particular.

I had about had it. I was sick with Sam sulking around. Then I just snapped.

"Sam we all miss her, but it's been two freaking years! So can you please start talking to us again?!" Of course I was referring to the fact that Sam had barely uttered 30 words to us in 2 years.

"That's not the problem." He said surprising us all.

"Oh, so then what's got your tail in a knot?" I asked.

"I…I imprinted last night." He said looking up to me. I could see the sadness and love in his eyes.

"…who?" I asked, I had to know.

"B-Bella Swan." He said.

No, no, no, no! No way he imprinted on the girl that I'd been hell bent on imprinting on. Not my Bella.

Before I could stop myself I had morphed and I was running through to forest.

"I'm sorry, Jacob!" I yelled after me.

Nothing was going to be alright.

Emily is dead, yes.

Bella is on drugs, and cutting, yes.

The Cullen's are gone, yes.

It's been two years, yes.

Sam has imprinted on Bella, yes.

Bella doesn't really like Sam, yes.

Jacob is pissed, yes.

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