Tied Together With A Smile
Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty
Is the face in the mirror looking back at you
Hermione, age 21, was in her room, looking in the mirror. In only a bra and boy shorts, she examined every little detail about herself. The scars she had obtained over the war which had not healed, and the paleness of her complexion. She smiled at her reflection and cringed inside; for who in their right minds would want to wake up to a smile like that every morning. Certainly not the man she had been pinning after for years. Ronald Billius Weasley, a red haired boy with whom she had been best friends with all these years. They had written each other constantly, keeping in touch, until 'she' found him. But he never came over anymore, not since Lavender Brown had somehow managed to worm her way back into his life. All her letters now came back unopened and his address scratched out.
The girl was a manipulative woman and didn't even let Ron have contact with Harry, the Boy Who Lived. Both he and Ginny, now happily celebrating their first year marriage, were worried. Every now and then he would tell her he had seen Ron at the office where they worked together, but couldn't get a single word out of him.
One day she had received a letter from Harry telling her he had gotten a letter from Ron, and asking if she had gotten one too. She hadn't, of course, but she was on the lookout for one. It had never come. She wasn't good enough for him to remember.
You walk around here thinking you're not pretty
But that's not true
Cause I know you...
Harry saw the change coming over his best female friend. Ron had been over his house loads of times since the 'Lavender Incident' as they called it. Not once had he thought to visit Hermione and it was taking a toll on her. Harry would write her letters and ask how she was, but her letters in response to his were brief, even though Harry's were very long. He was used to long, over-detailed stories of how her life was going.
When Harry and Ginny had gone to visit her, taking Teddy with them, her appearance had greatly disturbed him. Hermione's hair was unkempt and she had a dull murkiness to her once bright brown eyes. He saw how she talked to herself, how she beat herself down for not being enough. And Ron never asked about her at his house and she would avoid coming at the same time as her ginger friend. She was falling apart inside and out, and he could see it.
Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high
You're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
Hermione stared at the wall, tears blurring her vision. But it wasn't like she had anything to look at anyway. Her walls were bare and deathly white, like her skin. Slipping out of bed, she made her way over to the bathroom. She showered and got dressed mechanically and shoved the orange ticket in the pocket of her sweater. She grabbed her wand and appeared to Harry and Ginny's flat.
That you cry
But you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
She looked around at the Pitch, her eyes scanning the game for her friends. She caught sight of Ginny's long ginger hair and ran toward her friends, a fake smile stretched across her face. She didn't want to be at the Chuddly Cannon's game, where the man she had fallen for could spot her at any moment, but her friends had talked her into it. She didn't even know how they did it, but here she was. She scanned the orange colors; her brown eyes longing to find his crystal blue ones.
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone
"Harry, Ginny! Over here!" She heard his voice and her nails dug into the skin of her palm as she fisted her hands. Harry's green eyes flicked to Ginny's as they seemed to converse silently, eyes flicking from a distant Ron to Hermione and back.
"I'll be right back," Harry told the two woman. Ginny nodded and Hermione just looked at him with empty eyes. Ginny took Hermione's hand an led her to a picnic table and told her to wait there. Hermione just began to trace the wooden grains of scratched out testimonites of love and hearts with arrows.
I guess it's true that love was all you wanted
Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change
Ron and Harry shared a fist-pound. "How's it going Harry?" Ron asked with a smile. Ever since he had gotten rid of Lavender, signed up for the Chuddly Cannons and made the team, he had been smiling like a fool. Harry felt something twist inside himself. While one of his friends was having the time of his life, his other friend was dying from the inside out.
"It's been going okay," Harry shrugged. Ron just kept on smiling like an idiot. Harry shook his head to get the words he wanted to scream at Ron to the back of his mind. "What about you?"
"I'm doing great, mate. I made the team!" Ron shouted. He looked around for his little sister and didn't see her anywhere. "Where's Gin? Did you leave her at home? I told you both to come see my first match."
"I did bring Ginny. And another friend of mine. I hope you don't mind." He didn't mention anything about Hermione. He looked back over his shoulder to find her form hunched over the picnic table, Ginny sitting across from her and trying to get her to eat a small hot dog.
"Let's go see her and our other friend. I think you'll like her," Harry said as he led Ron over to the table. Ginny hissed as she saw her brother and husband making their way over to the table.
Hoping it will end up in his pocket
But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain
Hermione looked back on the days when Ron would talk to her, when they were actually friends. She didn't know what to call him anymore, she usually didn't talk about him. She had tried to date once, during the time in sixth year when Ron was enamored with Lavender. Cormack was nothing like Ron had been, just a reason to get him out of her head. But any other boy she saw was just a ghost of Ron now. He had left her out like a penny in the rain.
Oh, cause it's not his price to pay
Not his price to pay...
"What's her name?" Ron asked eagerly as they inched though the crowd toward Ginny and Hermione. Harry just shook his head as they reached the table.
"Gin, can you come here for a second. I wanna show you something," Harry pulled his wife away from his two clueless friends. Ginny looked sadly down at the brunette, hissed at her brother not to hurt her again, and followed Harry to a safe distance. They would monitor the exchange in case anything went wrong.
Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high
You're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
Ron went over to the other side of the table to stand in front of this unknown girl. "Hi, my name's Ron Weasley. I'm the Chaser for the Chuddly Cannons," he introduced himself, holding out a hand. Her head shot up and her eyes misted over as she looked upon the man she didn't know anymore. He just looked at her like he looked at a stranger.
"I know who you are," she hissed sarcastically. "I knew who you were before you became a Chaser. I knew you before Lavender. But nothing matters anymore, does it?" She stood up quickly, almost making the bench fall, and began to walk away from him. His crystal eyes shown with confusion. He didn't understand how she knew about Lavender. No one knew about that except Ginny and Harry. And someone else he couldn't remember, a fuzzy image in his head.
That you cry
But you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
"I'm going home!" Hermione shouted to Harry and Ginny as she stormed past them. They tried to protest, begged and pleaded with her to stay, but could do nothing more as she apperated away. Ginny, rushing out of Harry's hold, ran over to her brother with tears in her eyes.
"How could you? After all this time, you still don't remember, do you?" she shouted. Ron was still confused from before. Ginny reached for her wand, only to find it in Harry's hands.
"Gin, you can't hex your own brother just because he hurt her," Harry told her calmly.
"Yes I can, Harry. She's my best friend, and he's hurt her one to many times!" Ginny tried to charge at Ron again, only to be held back by her husband.
"Who're you talking about?" Ron asked. Harry smacked his palm against his forehead, accidentally letting Ginny go. But she didn't attack her older brother, she just stood there glaring him down.
"She's been your best friend since first year, the girl who helped you get good grades. The person you could comfort and anger all in the span of five seconds. Don't you remember?" Ron shook his head. Ginny's shoulders sagged.
"Oh," Ron's eyes lit up. Ginny and Harry looked at him with hopeful eyes. "You mean Lavender!"
"Harry, I think she tried to erase all his memories of Hermione. He doesn't know who she is anymore. It's as if she never existed," Ginny buried her face into her husband's shirt and Harry glared at Ron.
"We need to get your true memories back, before Hermione kills herself," Ginny gasped and looked up at her brother.
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone
Hermione looked at her pale lifeless figure in the mirror. She pressed a palm to the glass, feeling humidity fog up the glass. She sat down on the toilet seat and put her head in her hands. 'I've always been a very logical person,' she reasoned as she twisted the razor blade between her fingers. 'But logic doesn't seem to matter anymore. Nothing seems to matter anymore.' She sighed and ran her free hand through her unkempt hair, feeling the snarls and knots being dragged by her fingers.
She stared at the razor blade before making her decision. "Goodbye life..." she whispered as she ran the razor blade along the lower length of her arm, breaking the skin to the vein. Hermione whimpered in pain as she gasped, but the pain in her heart balanced the physical pain. She turned on the tap to fill the bathtub until the steaming water almost overflowed the tub. She submerged herself in the water, slipping under as blackness overtook her.
Hold on, baby, you're losing it
The water's high
You're jumping into it
And letting go... and no one knows
With a crack, the three people entered the dull foyer to Hermione's house. Ron looked around in confusion. Ginny screamed Hermione's name, but there was no answer. That wasn't unusual, Hermione might have been sleeping taking a shower.
"Harry, do you hear anything?" Ginny asked. Harry shook his head. Ron tilted his to the side, listening for some sort of noise.
"Exactly," Ginny nodded and began to make her way up the stairs. Harry followed with a hesitant Ron behind him. Both of them were still in the hallway when they heard Ginny's wail.
"Gin, wha- Ohmigod, she actually did it!" Harry cried as he fell to Ginny's side in the bathroom. Ron looked over his shoulder and paled. There, in the bathtub, lay the woman from before. Blood stained the white carpet on the floor, and red was still spilling from the wound.
Something snapped in Ron's mind and pained momentarily roared through his mind before it stopped. "Hermione!" he shouted at the top of his lungs before diving into the tub, not caring if his uniform was getting wet. All that mattered was the lifeless girl in the tub.
Ginny ran out into her room to shift through her friend's small collection of potions and vials of magical substances. Her eyes lit up as she found the bottle she was looking for. She ran back into the bathroom to see Harry and Ron pressing towels to her body, red staining the cloth wrapped around her arm.
"Here," Ginny handed the bottle to her brother. He took the bottle from her with shaky hands, the liquid jumping in the vial.
"Essence of Dittany," he whispered before pouring it over the wound; it almost looked like he was washing his hands in her blood. Harry looked thoughtful as he watched his two best friends.
"This is exactly like when we went to the Ministry in seventh year. Except she was freaking out about your wound." Ron looked up and nodded, his memories fully restored. He felt tears slip down his cheeks as she cradled the woman in his arms.
That you cry
But you don't tell anyone
That you might not be the golden one
Hermione felt herself being pulled out and light flickered on the inside of her eyelids. She coughed as dead water filled with iron came up past her lips. She choked on it until someone, or something, rolled her over. She spit up the water and coughed before sucking oxygen into her system.
She blinked and crystal blue eyes filled with concern looked at her. She slowly craned her neck to see Harry with a worried look on his face, and Ginny with wide red eyes. The latter fell to the ground beside her and clutched her tightly whispering, "I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry."
Hermione held onto her tightly, pressing her face into her friend's shoulder. She then looked up and over at the Weasley she didn't know anymore. "What are you doing here?" she hissed weakly. Ginny pulled her attention back by saying she needed to put on some decent clothes and treat the wound. Hermione nodded blankly as Harry and Ron left the room.
"Why is he here, Ginny?" she whispered as her friend helped her stand on wobbly legs and strip out of her wet clothes. "He looked at me like he was looking at a stranger, as if he didn't know me anymore." Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she told her friend. Ginny helped her into a nightshirt and pajama bottoms before sitting her down on the bed. Hermione held her arm out while Ginny bandaged it and wrapped gauze around her whole lower arm. The red head called the boys back in and Harry came in... without Ron.
"I knew it," Hermione sighed. "I was dreaming. He was never really here." She was about to go on when Ronald Billius Weasley stepped into her bedroom carrying a mug of hot chocolate.
And you're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone
"It wasn't a dream 'Mione," he said softly as he knelt down beside her bed, placing the steaming mug down on her nightstand. He gestured for Ginny and Harry to please leave the room, which they did warily. He sat down next to her but kept a small distance between them. She looked at him with broken eyes and he felt as if someone had stabbed him with a dagger. He had made her like this. This strong woman had become so broken and beaten down… and it was all his fault.
"Lavender," Hermione hissed at the name, "took away my memories of you and replaced it with herself. But when I saw you, dying and bleeding, something inside me snapped. I remembered everything."
"I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough," she whispered, her voice so low he needed to bend closer to hear her. She didn't move away from him, which he took as a good sign. Ron took the now sobbing girl in his arms and rocked her back and forth. She shuffled closer to him, her head buried in the crook of his neck. "I- I'm sorry." She kept repeating the words over and over until he felt her breathing even and her words trail off. He lay back on the bed, brunette curled in his arms and pulled the cover over both of them. Hermione snuggled closer to him, her head on his chest, and her hands fishing his uniform. Ron knew he would probably be fired as the Chuddly Cannon Keeper, but it didn't matter to him anymore. The moment he had his memories back he realized he had almost lost his dream, but now she was curled up with him sleeping peacefully. Ron felt as if everything would finally be alright.
The next morning Hermione woke up warm and feeling happier then she had in years. She felt her pillow move and a groan came from something above her. She shot up and looked down at the man beside her. It was him! She felt panic needle its way into her brain until the melodies from yesterday pushed them away. She let herself give the half-asleep man a small smile before slipping out of bed and heading to the bathroom. She took a shower and swiped the wound with Neosporin before wrapping herself in a towel and going back out into her room.
What she found made her heart give a painful squeeze. Ron was looking around the room frantically as if he had lost something very important to him. When he noticed she was standing in the doorway, towel wrapped around her body and hair dripping, his eyes softened. This surprised her. She was expecting him to continue his search, overlooking her, but he didn't. He pulled himself out of bed and came over, wrapping his arms around her thin body. It was as if he didn't care that she was soaking wet and not wearing any clothes under the gray towel.
"I thought you left," he whispered into her hair. She felt him press her lips to her hair and a tingle went down her spine. When she didn't say anything he pulled away and looked into her eyes. They're filled with so many questions and he wanted to take time to answer every single one, but he knew that there would be time for that later. "Please don't do that again, at least for a while." Her stomach fluttered, because it felt like he meant that as if they would be waking up every single day like that.
"Ron, why do you care so much?" she asked, her voice uncertain. He was about to answer but Harry and Ginny came in with a magically enlarged tray full of breakfast. Ron's stomach growled and Hermione laughed. He smiled because it's good to hear her laugh again, even if it is at his expense.
"Sorry," he mumbled as they all sat down on the bed to eat on the makeshift table. Ron scarfed down his food and Hermione felt as if she was back at Hogwarts again. Ginny and Harry made small talk between themselves as Hermione complained to Ron about his eating habits. But inside she knew he was never going to change. He would still be the gangly ginger kid she met on the train.
But deeper down she knew that moment, where they were all enjoying a meal together, might come to an end. She could feel the sadness was over her and she silently began to slide
You're tied together with a smile
But you're coming undone... oh
Goodbye, baby
With a smile, baby, baby
But deeper down she knew that moment, where they were all enjoying a meal together, might come to an end. She could feel the sadness was over her and she silently began to slide into herself, widening the foggy chasm between herself and her friends.
"Hermione…" his voice was like light, making her blink and look up. He offered a smile as he held out his hand for her to take. She noticed the table was gone, and so were Harry and Ginny. She slowly took his hand and he pulled her up so she was standing next to him.
"Ron?" The way she said his name, so unsure and hesitant, made him tighten his hold on her hand. "Tell me this isn't going to end. Tell me I'm not dreaming." Her brown eyes were begging, pleading with him.
"This is never ever going to end," he promised, his eyes burning into hers. "If this is a dream, then I hope I never have to wake up either." Her cheeks flushed as he came closer and she could almost count every freckle on his face. It was as if each one had been painted on. She took her hand and let it slid from his forehead to his jaw, and he let her.
"I love you," he whispered against her lips. She smiled and repeated it back to him before closing the distance between them again. She thought that maybe, just maybe, things could get better for them.
Please Review!