Pairing: Sheppard/Beckett (If you don't know what this means, find out. If you decide to flame me for what I write, I'm going to leave it up for people to laugh at you.)
Rating: PG-13
Written for: Atlantislvw Round 1, where it didn't get me voted off the island.
A/N: Thanks to Maisfeeka and Lady Koori for being the awesome betas that they are. Summary: After the events in "Runner", Carson and John talk about Runners.

Running Man
by Waldo.

It had been an incredibly long day. In fact he wasn't sure that it hadn't been several days. He'd arrived on that planet in the dark, left it, come back and then left again… in the dark.

Not helping the situation was literally being in spitting distance of bringing Ford home. He knew Ford thought he was better off high; running around playing G.I. Joe alone in the woods, taking on the Wraith whenever he could. But that was the drug talking. Ford, the real Aiden Ford, would have been sick to think he'd fired a P-90 around McKay's ankles, that he'd put fellow officers in danger, that he'd voluntarily gone with the Wraith.

He couldn't decide if he'd done the right thing, leaving in the middle of the chase to go get Carson. He knew Carson didn't like to be 'volunteered', but if this guy they found – who'd found them, actually – could help them find Ford… Carson would understand, right?

It wasn't that Carson was against doing his job. It was just that in order to do his job this time he had to go off-world, hike through a forest with a surgical kit on his back to work on a guy who had a gun on Teyla and refused to be sedated for the procedure. Not exactly the most sanitary, or sane, conditions for back surgery.

He'd fully expected a week of Carson giving him the cold shoulder and at least an additional week of even colder sheets. It would be worth it, though, if it meant getting Ford back.

Yet somehow talking in the mess had led to talking in John's quarters and that had led to curling up in bed together. They were both too tired to actually think about sex, but now, two hours since they'd stopped talking, each erroneously thinking the other had fallen asleep, John was aware that they were both just staring at the walls and letting their brains spin unproductively.

"He wasn't what I expected," John muttered, breaking the silence.

"Aye," Carson whispered from where he was curled in front of John. "I've seen some strong people before, but that… I haven't seen the likes of that before."

"It can't… I mean… no one can maintain that level of… activity." John wondered why he was having so many problems articulating ideas that were so clear in his mind.

"Eventually the body will give out. You can only push so hard for so long."

John shifted. "I would have to think that eventually he'd just not want to be alone."

"It wouldn't be safe to be around others," Carson said. "Who could he trust?"

"I don't think his brain works like that any more… I don't think trust is something that's… important to him anymore. Just survival."

Carson rolled onto his back so that he could see John's face in the moonlight. "That could change."

John shook his head, one hand trailing up and down Carson's arm, grateful for the solid presence at his side that didn't demand that he leave his work at the door or feed him a constant stream of 'it's not your fault' or 'it'll be okay.'

"He'd have to want it to."

"I think he does. I don't think I would have gotten near him if he didn't want to trust someone." Carson reached up and caressed the side of John's face. John carried so much responsibility, took it all so personally. He flinched when he felt John tense under his hand.

"When were you near him? I thought you were only down there long enough to get that transmitter out of Ronon's back!"

Carson rolled his eyes, only the two of them could have a conversation for that long and not realize they were talking about different people. He stroked John's face again. "I thought we were talking about Mr. Dex."

John collapsed against him. "I was talking about Ford."

"Aye, I can see that now." He leaned in and kissed John softly.

John put his hand behind Carson's neck and held him against his forehead. "I don't know how to get him back."

Carson began rubbing his back. "We'll find a way. You can't give up."

"He doesn't want to be found. He's a tactical officer; he won't be found unless he wants to be. And he doesn't want to be." John shifted onto his front so Carson wouldn't have to stretch so far. It wasn't altruism. He simply didn't want Carson to stop.

"The lad doesn't know who he is anymore. He has an alien drug going through his system. He isn't in control." Carson knew it wouldn't change John's feeling of responsibility, but he knew that nothing would. Right now John just needed to talk until he fell asleep.

"Can you get him off the enzyme if we get him back?"

Carson sighed. "I don't know. It'll depend on…" he started to list off the variables that would determine how fast and how well they'd be able to detox Aiden, but thought better of it, since the first one was 'how long he's on the drug'. John put enough pressure on himself without that added information. "It'll depend on a lot of things."

John knew a noncommittal answer when he heard one, but didn't have the energy to press.

"I'm thinking of asking Elizabeth to let Ronon stay here. His planet's been destroyed and he knows a lot about the Wraith."

Carson settled against John's side, stroking his hair. "And he promised you that he'd help you get Aiden back if I helped him."

"Yeah," John admitted. "And I know you would have done it anyway, but he doesn't. And I'll take any help I can get at this point."

Carson nodded, noticing that John's eyes were drifting closed. Of course he would have helped Ronon, now he just had to hope that Ronon could help them find Ford before the young Marine completely lost track of who he was.