Author's Note:
I wrote his a while back. I was really really annoyed and felt the need to take it out on Dean. So here it is. I have no idea what its about. I know just as much as you do. I'm pretty sure its an AU. Cas is human. Dean isn't a hunter. Dean's about 30ish. Maybe i'll actually make this into a story someday. But for now, i suppose this is a one-shot. Good luck. I am so sorry for taking forever to write stuff. Sorry. Please review!(please) BTW: he=Dean.
He couldn't stop. The wall he built around his emotions collapsed. And all of it came flooding out.
He was despicable. Everywhere he went he just hurt more and more people. And everyone he loved left. They all left him. What had he done wrong?
His mother died at the age of four.
His father treated him like a soldier. Not an ounce of love. No pride a father shows in his son. Heck, most of Dean's life he called John Winchester 'sir.' He looked up to John though, despite the lack of warmth he received. John as horrible as a father could get. Though he never beat his kids, he might as well have. And now, years later, Dean was no better a man than his father.
The only one he cared for, Sammy, had left him for college. Dean had raised him, fed him, and tried to give him the life Dean never had. Dean had protected him, tried to do the best he could to keep him safe. But never the less, Sam left too.
'I bet he didn't even think of me,' Dean thought. Cause that's what he was. Replaceable. Unimportant. Insignificant. That was all that he ever was.
After finally finding the person he never knew he had been looking for, that was going to go too. Because no matter how hard Dean tried, they left him. They always did. He didn't matter to anyone. Of course not.
He had tried to keep his feelings at bay for most of his life. To become the obedient, emotionless soldier his father had always wanted. He had succeeded too. But then came Castiel, the one person Dean thought he could trust with his weakness.
Dean confided in Castiel something he hadn't in anyone else. Dean let Castiel see the vulnerable side of him that he refused to acknowledge. And against all odds, Castiel had accepted Dean for who he was. Dean gave him all the love his broken heart could. He thought that maybe, just maybe, he could have the life he was scared to hope for.
Apparently not. No happiness could ever find its way to Dean; any hint that came near, just scarred him more. The further he rose, the further he fell. That was it. That was how it would always be.
Dean gave up. There was no point. That wall that had crumbled rebuilt itself stronger than before. He shut his emotions away. In doing so, he shut away his heart.
And so Dean Winchester said the words that would haunt him for as long as he lived:
"Typical. Well, don't worry. I never loved you anyways."
He looked straight into those blue eyes. Tears rolled down the cheeks of his former lover. Dean watched coolly, willing himself not to break. He held the pleading, desperate look with his own steely indifference.
A second passed.
With that, Dean Winchester walked past the man he once thought he loved, and away from his only hope.