Elfen Liner Notes : Reading The New Girl
by Rob Morris
My task was as clear as my position. I serve as the eyes and ears of the beautiful and gracious class council president of our school, and I am privileged to do this.
"Ro-Chan, there is a new girl in our classes, these past few months. She is to my mind that most dangerous sort - neither a nerd nor a true challenger to my position. In other words, she excels at blending in, at not being noticed, and I think that this is a conscious effort. Therefore, I want you to spend the next week learning all there is to know about Mayu of Class 7-7."
I revere and adore my Sempai, but she is sometimes lacking in details for these things.
"Jo-San, with all respect, which Mayu are you talking about? It's a fairly common name."
She gives me a glare that makes me fear my dismissal, however briefly.
"Baka! Obviously, the Mayu from Elfen Lied!"
For the briefest moment, I feel for some reason like someone has torn a hole in creation itself.
"Elfen Lied, Sempai?"
She rolls her eyes, and she likes to do this on occasion. My position is safe.
"It's an old German song. She practices singing it sometimes. Now do as I ask."
In fact, oddly enough, there are three Mayus attending our school who like to sing old German songs. Luckily, one of those is about a Communist-Era official, and another is about some kids causing World War Three and being rescued by Captain Kirk...or something. There was also a Maya who sang a faux-sequel to a David Bowie classic, but I felt the third Mayu in question was my proper target, especially since this Elfen Lied had never seen a techno remix.
That I know of, anyway.
But this Mayu was to prove hard to nail down, starting with one very great oddity.
"Well, which one? The one that sings 'Der Kommissar', or the one that sings 'Luftballoons'?"
"The one who sings Elfen Lied."
"Is that the new Akamatsu manga? Because I'm still pissed with him for picking Naru over Shinobu."
Idiot, I thought. Obviously, he should have chosen Mitsune.
"No-she's-she doesn't stand out."
"OH! You mean Mayu-Chan. Well, she's great. Mind you, she's a Motoko-shipper, but that's easily forgiven. Mostly."
Everytime someone says how our schools outclass American ones, I think that they have never been to this school.
"Good. Now, what do you call her in formal situations?"
Her family name will reveal nearly all.
"Mayu-San."
However, no one seems to know her family name. It's like God didn't give her one or something. But maybe-she's ashamed of her family? It's said she heads down to the beach after school is done. By bad luck, though, I just miss her, despite rushing to the beachside. Eating an apple I have for quick energy, I make the greatest mistake of my young life.
I toss the apple core on the sand. I would swear I heard the air vibrate as it came towards me. A figure so large, he blocked out the sun.
"PICK...IT...THE HELL...UUUUUUUPPPPPPPP!"
The next day, I pace Mayu correctly, and am in hiding when she casually contacts this behemoth. There is much more to her than meets the eye.
She is an elusive one. She really does know how to keep to the shadows, and she is always looking about. She also has a dangerously cute little dog. Sempai's a cat-person, and this could make Mayu a threat to her among the dog crowd.
But finally, I find her house-which apparently has a world of rooms and a backyard the size of Fuji. Is Mayu rich? The house has high walls, but a vantage point on the nearby temple path stairs affords me an easy view of the yard.
"We're both so proud of you, Mayu-chan!"
"Yuka's right. To get such high praise from your teachers is a wonderful thing. That settles it. Tonight, there'll be ice cream."
"Oh, No. Please, no extra expenses for me."
"Nonsense. Kouta's right. Nothing is too good for our Mayu-Chan."
I should have really thought to bring some kind of listening device. But I've seen all I need to with these two. Now, a slightly older girl enters the yard.
"Would you like to be taught that song in its original English, Mayu-Chan? I practiced hard to sound just like her."
"Oh! Yes, Nozomi-San. By all means."
**Sing, sing a song Sing, sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things not bad
Sing of happy not sad.
Make it simple to last
Your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not
Good enough for anyone
Else to hear
Just sing, sing a song.**
That I could hear rather well. It tells me much. But two more girls with wild hair colorings put an edge to my report no one could have predicted. I abandon my vantage point and move in for a listen.
"But Nana-Chan, I only asked if they might grow back someday. I want to be like you."
"Believe Nana when she says that, Nyu-San is a lot better off not being like Nana. A LOT better off."
Regaining my vantage point, I see all I need to. I must relate my report to my Sempai with all speed. This has now become vital.
"She's a what?"
Sempai is not ready for this. Perhaps no one is.
"Mayu is a Magical Girl. A real one. Powerful, too. I think the dog is her familiar."
I show a picture of the ferocious, gun-wielding giant adjusting wiring in his hand.
"She commands a Terminator, and uses him for menial work."
I show a picture of her home.
"She lives on an estate!"
I show a picture of the couple that greeted her.
"Her parents must be immortals. They look like they're maybe five years older than her."
"Are you sure these were her parents?"
"Hai, Sempai. They argued over the evening soup, she cried and slapped him for no reason, then held him while he looked utterly confused."
"Okay, then. They're definitely married."
I play a recording of the enchanting singer.
"She reincarnated Karen Carpenter just to sing for her."
I relate the final point of my surveillance, and when Sempai sees the pictures, her eyes go wide.
"This wasn't cosplay?"
"No, Sempai. I watched them long enough to verify."
Sempai Jo-San gains an incredibly serious look.
"Ro-Chan-if Mayu-Chan wishes to keep herself a private person, we will not seek to bother her. Take no action. Do not have anyone avoid or embrace her, and ask no more questions about her."
"Are you certain I shouldn't report this to anyone, Sempai?"
"NO! If all this were to come out, I could lose my place on the council, forget about being Class President."
Sempai shows all her grace and wisdom in this moment.
"Ro, any one of these things could affect Mayu's standing in the school. But her coolness would eclipse mine by several magnitudes, if anyone learned her sisters are actual horned girls. You don't get any cooler than being related to an urban legend. So, in order to not jeopardize all we have built-not to mention upsetting a sorcerer so powerful-we will leave her be, as seems to be her wish."
My Sempai's wish is as law for me, so that was that, and the reality-warp that is Maple House can keep to its strangeness. But I am so tired from my efforts, I must pass my reading assignment down to my own Kohai. It seems like no great loss, though. What could I possibly gain from some old fable called "The Blind Sages And The Elephant" ?