I swore I published this but apparently, I didn't. Since I couldn't find it when I was re-reading some of my stories on my account, I decided to upload this again xD (because I have a gut feeling that I accidently deleted this or FF did).
Very AU. Despite it being written in the same time period, this doesn't have the Abyss Arch in it, not anything "supernatural". Hope you enjoy it because I was surprised at how well it wrote itself. Like literally, I didn't realize I finished it until.. well the ending!
Perhaps it was many years of distrust, did he stopped interacting with humans. Yes, there were signs of acknowledgement: a firm nod or a silent shake of the head, maybe even a shrug. Yet there was no verbal acknowledgement, no interaction, no sign of him ever trying to communicate to others that approached him. It didn't even matter if it were his parents or his younger brother that carried deeply about him.
Perhaps it was the day his only friend had died, did he locked himself in darkness. A freak accident, they told him, of a carriage gone wild. By pure not luck, he happened to be in the carriage with his younger sister. He wondered why his sister survived and not him. He wondered why he felt like it was just yesterday that he died. Even if its been two years.
. . . . .
There he stood, watching from his window, the birds that flew by, the clouds that drifted past and the colors that changed from blue to black. He counted the things that happened against the norm. There weren't many. Almost none at all. And maybe that was why dark birds, ravens, would come pecking at his window. Perhaps mocking him or perhaps pitying him. Either way, it was all the same.
But everything changed that day. The day when that man came in, through his door. Gilbert turned around and stared at him. White-ashen hair with the brightest red eye and pale skin, dressed in complete white with a dash of purple. Gilbert swiftly turned around; it was too bright.
They told him it was his new tutor, a new mentor after his old mentor couldn't take the silence. Gilbert thought the man just went mad. Even the maids dislike the silence in his room. He could tell carefully as they quickly did whatever it was they were told to before scurrying off like little rats. Their footsteps patting the floor softly, trying their hardest not to run away from the darkness, the silence.
They told him of his name. Break Xerxes, an old mentor for the daughter of the Rainsworth family. And there he sat, reading diligently on the book he gave to him. The curtains are closed for light was something he wasn't granted anymore (or at least he thought). The candle is perfect for the boy. Even at the age of sixteen, he could read well enough. After all, all he does is spend his time either in his room or library.
"Are you finished, young master?" Gilbert looked up and saw a smile plastered on his face.
He nodded and closed the book. The smile was silly, he recalled, as the teacher explained to him the story line, characters, and other meaningless things. A silly smile that almost looked like his only friend's smile. Suddenly, he stopped talking. Gilbert blinked and stared at Break's lingering red eye for the longest time. Gilbert wondered why his hair covers his left eye.
"So, who's the main character?"
Gilbert took out a piece of paper and jotted down the main character's name. Break, he noticed, arched a brow and stared at the paper before crouching down at eye level with him. He had the most puzzling face as he stared at him. Gilbert knew, for a fact, that it was correct. It had to be.
"Can't talk, can you?" Break asked.
"Perhaps he lost his tongue~" Emily replied.
Gilbert forgot to mention one other thing: his weird doll on his shoulder. Emily, he said it once before, was it's name. Gilbert wondered if his teacher was a ventriloquist. But then again, the doll moved on its own sometimes. So it stroked back against Gilbert's theory. A sigh broke his train of thought. He watched the weird man stand up and then… walk around the room.
"Hey hey, young master, how many seconds are in a minute?" He singsongs repeatedly.
If Gilbert would've noticed, that day, he was skipping around like a jolly little girl. But Gilbert voiced on the voice that sang it. The voice that broke the silence in the small room. Even when the man was talking normally and explaining, he would drown him out and stay in the silence of his mind. Patience was a virtue, they say. But the more and more he heard him sing, the more and more it felt like loud cymbals crashing on his ears.
"60." Gilbert grunted harshly.
And then he stopped singing. If Gilbert would've turned around on that day, he would've noticed his lips twitch into a smirk. But Gilbert stayed there as he guided his mind back to the place of silence. There was something with that man that made it so infuriating to be around, insufferable one might say.
"See, Emily, I told you he can talk!" Break laughed before resuming his lesson.
And it seemed, as days gone by with the eccentric man teaching him, it seemed as if Gilbert lost his solitude. Every day, if he did not answer verbally, Break would do something to annoy him, to infuriate him. As Gilbert spoke, as he grunted every and any little answer he knew, he felt his place of silence in his mind disappear slowly and slowly by each passing day. Silence was something that he had grown to adore, grown to adapt. And as he continued to talk, to say even one word, he felt himself breaking.
Because it was all the insufferable man's fault. For he had destroyed the only place he felt safe. For he had destroyed the only place where he could feel at peace after the day breaks into night.
"Ahh well, that's all for today~" He clapped his hands into a fake applause. "Any questions?"
"Why won't you leave me alone?" Break looked up.
Gilbert stared at him with bold eyes. Insufferable, was the man; infuriating was the man. Anything and everything was that man over there. Gilbert half expected a smart comment and the other half, he expected some kind of stupid question right back him. All he got was a laugh.
"Why so serious, Gil~?" Break waved his little hands that were in the sleeves.
"Stop calling me that," Only one person can call me that.
Break shrugged and sat on top of the desk across from him. He gingerly took out a lollipop and sucked on it, throwing the wrapper on the desk. And it seemed he took the longest time to reply on something so simple. Gilbert glared all the way. There was no point in him talking if he wouldn't even answer back.
"Then answer me this, young master~" Break crunched on his lollipop. "Why do you shroud yourself in darkness?"
Gilbert was taken aback. Yes, that was it. Gilbert knew the reason but bringing forth was like bringing hell back again. He remembers those days where at times, he felt mad. Like the Mad Hatter or rather, like innocent Alice, who was trapper in her own darkness.
If he would've notice that day, he would've saw his teacher standing up, taking slowly deliberate steps closer to him, from behind. Two slim hands were suddenly holding his chin and Gilbert gasped. Physical contact… it was too close for him. To his dismay, he heard a frightening chuckle.
"Your dear mother has told me about your… situation. A pity that you've locked yourself in darkness," Words that were covered in fake sympathy.
"Or perhaps, it isn't darkness at all you've hidden yourself in," The hands reacted and pushed his chin up, forcing Gilbert to stare right into his red eye.
"No, what I think is that you're scared. Yes… scared… of perhaps seeing someone else gone, huh? Just like that dear friend of yours…"
Instantly, Gilbert pushed Break back against the table behind him. Break staggers back but does not fall against the table. He wonders if this is the first time he felt like killing something, someone. His hands are balled up, turning into fists. His gold eyes are drowned in pure anger, perhaps confusion. His teeth are hard against each other that he could hear a faint gritting sound.
"Leave at once!"
Days followed suit and that madman did not come back. That was the last time he heard and saw him. His parents informed him that he has to go back, teaching the little Rainsworth daughter some things and work in and out for Pandora. Gilbert did not care, did he? As he stood there, watching the rain fall short against his window and sliding down, he bitterly glared at the reflection of himself. He would not, will not, miss a man that drove him to his brinks. And as he thought bitterly how much he hated that fool, he wondered what this lingering feeling was in his heart. He wondered why every time he slept, he felt uneasy around silence, around the darkness.
The next day, where he wearily walked to the room where his tutors teach, he wondered why he would always walk there every day. Perhaps it was this small chance that he might appear. But then again, Gilbert did not miss him. He took a seat in his regular spot and stayed there, waiting. Two hours passed and he could no longer take it. Whatever it was that sank into the pit of his stomach, was still there, even as he stood to leave and return back to the haven of his room.
"Where do you think you're going?" Gilbert stopped.
His body wasn't even fully straight yet he stayed there, looking around to locate the voice. That same pit feeling was starting to disappear. Gilbert hated it.
"Boo!"
He jumped when a figure popped up from in front of his table. Gilbert staggered back and fell instantly on his bottom. No.. he wasn't scared, he was surprised. He was greeted by a silly, stupid grin as he commenting about his coordination skills. This lingering emotion… was it because he missed this madman?
"Is the floor that comfortable, Mr. Nightray?" Gilbert blinked and quickly got off the floor.
He felt numb, back then. He felt so numb that he did not even notice the smirk that was on his pale face. He gripped tightly on his pencil. Gilbert Nightray did not miss him. Gilbert Nightray did not miss Break Xerxes, the madman-
"Hey, Gilbert-chan, did you miss me?"
Suddenly, his grip tighten even more. Why? He thought bitterly. Did Gilbert really miss him? He couldn't have, he wasn't suppose to. Yet he continued to stare down on his tear-sodden paper. It did hurt, it hurt so much. That pit feeling was still there but, as the tears streamed his face, it was getting lightly. He did a quick nod, he really missed him. And if Gilbert would've paid attention, he would've notice a small smile on his face.
He looked up and found lips on his. Soft, kind… Break's lips. Was this even allowed? He thought quietly. Of course, the obvious thing to narrow was that they were both male at two truly different ages but… he wondered if he was allowed to feel such… kind lips. Gilbert had closed his eyes long ago, even before the kiss, and he inwardly thought if Break was trying to make a promise with him.
Because he shouldn't be kissing the man that he wanted dead since the very first day he came into the house. Gilbert has read many books, many books about comfort and how to approach those that need this "comfort". This man, Xerxes Break, comforted him in his own way. He did not use kindness or sympathy, he used words and trickery to bring him back to reality.
He just couldn't believe it took all but this one person to open his eyes.
"Pay attention, young master~" He poked the boy's forehead hard, sending him backwards and falling completely off his chair.
Gilbert gave a small yelp and instantly fell against his bottom then his head. As he rubbed his sore head, he vaguely heard a giggle before the sound of chalk on the chalkboard. Then a mess of jumbled words attacked his hears, where he could take "Sit up, Gil-chan" from the pile. Even though he sat there, glaring lazily at him, he felt… happy.
. . . . .
That was what he remembered three years ago. Albeit there was more to it but he liked that memory, whether he'll verbally admit it or not. He was now a man of twenty years as he stood there, looking at the room with the big chalkboard in there. He has learned how to smile and he has regained his ability to talk to others. He became the Gilbert that everyone once knew and loved and he was happy.
"Still reminiscing about those days, huh?" Strong, skinny arms were suddenly around his neck, forcibly pulling him down.
Gilbert staggered but stood as still as possible as they suddenly disappeared. He looked up and half-heartedly glared at the person in front of him, who happened to sneak back in the house again. But he could feel the heat on the face, considering how wide his smirk widen. He scoffed and stood straight up, brushing some dust off his shoulders.
"Shut up, you're annoying" Gilbert averted his gaze.
Break chuckles, to his dismay. But then again, it wouldn't be Break if he wasn't amused by Gilbert's own embarrassment.
"How many seconds are in a minute, Mr. Nightray?" Gilbert blinks.
"60." He looks up with lips suddenly smashed against his and arms wrapped firmly yet gently around his waist.