Hello! So I'm back! I know you guys must think that starting a new story when I already have two in progress that I haven't finished yet is a horrible idea...but guess what... THIS ONE IS ALREADY FINISHED! yup I've already finished writing this one so I'll update it every week. There are probably 5 or 6 chapters so it's pretty short but I think it's worth it. This is sort of an extended songfic to Scene One: James Dean and Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping with Sirens. If you haven't heard that song listen to it. Another good song to listen to while you read this is Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Ray. I also got a tumblr for those of you who would like to follow me. The link is in my bio!(: Okay! Read. Enjoy. Review!
They said she probably wouldn't make it. Damn it I screamed to myself, I knew I should have never let her go on that mission alone. Who am I kidding though? Even if I didn't let her, she'd go anyways. I chuckled darkly to myself. My wife lay hooked up to a machine that barely kept her alive inches away from me and I was reminiscing about the person she was.
I couldn't see skin anywhere on her. Her long hair had been shaved as they operated on her. Her hands were bound, as were her feet. I could see the wrappings on her chest covered by the hospital gown. Her face was covered as well, blocking her crystal blue eyes that stayed closed. A tube was thrust down her throat keeping her breathing and an IV was poked into her arm through layers of binding. She looked like a mummy being prepared for burial.
For days I sat by her bedside, caressing her hand through the bandages. I could feel the places where skin had been blown off and seared through the bandages because there were holes where the bandages should have been solid. I couldn't even begin to imagine how much pain she was in.
"I should have gone with you." I said. I continued to stroke her hand as I scooted the hospital chair close to the bed. "I should have protected you and I should have made sure this never happened. That's what I vowed didn't I? I vowed never to put you in harms way. I vowed never to hurt you and always to care for you. I broke my vows. I'm so sorry." Placing my head on the bedside, close to her but not touching, I heaved. I tried to let tears fall down my face, but I was dry. Frustrated I couldn't even cry anymore, I let go of her hand and stormed out of the room.
I didn't get far before collapsing against the wall. Actually, I only made it out of the door and about a foot to the right of the doorframe. I sat there and heaved. I choked in breaths and sputtered out exhales.
"Zach," Bex said collapsing next to me. "Go home." She stroked my back as Macey and Liz came by and sat on either sides of me.
"I can't do that Bex." I choked out. "I can't go back there. There are too many memories and I know that if I go back I'll just drive myself crazy. I can't just sit and wait. I have to stay here. I can't leave her. I let her go once and look what happened. I have to do something. I have to be here when she wakes up."
"Zach, she's not going to be waking up anytime soon." She whispered, attempting to consol me.
"You don't know that!" I snapped while swatting her hand away from me. "She could wake up any minute and wonder where I am and think I've abandoned her. She could think that I don't love her and that…that I... I don't know that something happened to me. I just need to be here when she wakes up. She's in too much pain right now for me to be anywhere but here."
"Zach. Listen to me. She's not going to wake up anytime soon. You know that. The doctors are keeping her in a medical induced coma to stop her from feeling too much pain. Please, for me, go to mine and Grant's place. Stay with him. I won't be home anytime soon so tell him not to wait up. I know he worries for you. We all do." Placing her hand back on my back, she began to rub once again and then helped me up. Both the other girls helped as well but I barely noticed their touch on either of my arms.
Bex drove me to her house a little after I said goodbye to Cammie and promised her I returned. The other girls stayed at the hospital with Cammie. Before I left I was able to get a look at their faces. Liz's eyes were puffy and swollen. She had bags under her eyes and her already pale face had lost even more color. She resembled a walking ghost rather than a human being. I could tell she lost weight, not that she needed to. She was already skin and bones as is. Jonas must be overly stressed with Liz's condition. Usually, I'd say he worried about her health too much, but her state now must be driving him off the edge. Even I was concerned about her.
Macey was no better. She wore no make-up for the first time in years. I could see dark rings under her eyes and worry wrinkles forming on her forehead. Wrinkles were Macey's worst nightmare. Her hair looked uneven and I could see numerous split ends. I could tell she'd be tugging and pulling at it, tearing it out in some places while she tried to cover it up. She even took out her trademark nose ring like Cammie had always wanted her to.
Bex was, surprisingly, in the best condition out of all of us. Like each of us, she had the matching dark rings under her eyes, however she hadn't lost weight and she looked as if she was eating consistently. Although her physical attributes may seem in decent condition, I could tell that she was taking the full impact of this for all of us. She never spoke unless completely necessary and when she attempted to playfully slapped Grant or me, it felt more like being hit by a butterfly. Her spirit was broken and gone. I could tell that until Cammie was completely healed, Bex would be no more than a shell.
Bex and Grant lived a bit a ways from the hospital. Their two story house was something out of a bad nineties commercial with a driveway a deep green lawn in the front. They lived in a cul-de-sac with neighbors varying in all ages. Grant's car wasn't in the driveway so I assumed he was still at the office, most likely filling out a report of his latest mission he returned from two nights ago. He had just recently learned about Cammie's accident and he hadn't yet seen her. More importantly, Bex wasn't letting him see her. Jonas and Preston hadn't seen her either because their wives or girlfriends weren't letting them. I knew it was driving them crazy, but women have their reasons for doing things.
Before I went into the house, using the keys Bex gave me after I learned about Cammie's accident, I turned to Bex for one last request. "Bex," I said facing her, "make sure they eat something. They can't check out. There are other people who rely on them. And you Bex, please, don't do something rash. You're not dealing with this like them and they way you're bottling everything up isn't healthy. Please, just be safe. Talk to her, cry for her, do something, but don't bottle everything up. Talk to Grant or Macey or Liz or Preston or anyone. Just talk to them and make sure they know you're okay. Don't convince them; make them know you're okay because you actually are. Please, just do that for me. I can't loose you guys too."
"I'll try Zach. I really will, but I just can't deal with everything that has happened. I love her too, maybe not in the way you do, but…us? We're closer than sisters. We're practically the same person. You love her in a way that I will never know, but I will know her in a way that you never will and that's just the way that God intended things to happen. I may not be a religious person Zach, but I will pray to every god, deity, spirit, anything to make sure she's safe and alive."